That was all I saw when I was back at Lake Lyn.
Except, I couldn't save myself this time.
I was as deep as I was before, the familiar surroundings engraved in my mind.
My lungs were closing up with the lack of oxygen that was going to them, and the minute I couldn't hold my breath any longer, I could feel myself choke on the water, the familiar feeling engraved in my body.
My legs and arms moved around quickly as I tried my best to swim up to the surface, except no matter how hard I tried, I didn't move from the spot I was in.
Then, for some reason I saw Alec, and he was smiling.
But, he disappeared, vanished into nothing in the water I was so desperately trying to swim ashore in.
I froze, bubbles leaving my mouth as my vision became blurry, watching as Isabelle, Jace, Clary, Magnus, even my mother- anyone I had ever loved or cared about slowly vanished right after Alec.
I then saw myself.
It was like I was looking at a mirror.
I was alone.
"No!" The scream I let out muffled due to being underwater, trying harder and harder to reach the surface.
Except everything I had just saw kept repeating, and I ended up staring at myself every single time.
I was losing everyone and everything, and I was left, drowning repetitively, trapped with no way up to the surface.
I felt a strong intensifying fear and pain in my chest with every flash, as it felt more real and real by the second, another scream leaving my lips, "Alec-"
"Zee!" Alec's voice tears me away from the nightmare, feeling a jerk at my body, his large hands on my arms, "Wake up!"
I threw myself up into a sitting position, covered in a sheet of sweat, breathing heavily, my hair a mess, my head snapping towards him, my eyes wide with fear.
Alec was already seated up, his hair was sticking up in all different kinds of directions due to being woken, his eyes now alert and concerned as he stared at me with them, masking the exhaustion from the day before.
It was still dark outside and the only light that shone in the room was the moonlight.
"Come here-" Alec pulled me into his bare chest, holding me, rubbing my back to calm me down, "You're burning up-"
"You're okay- you're here- you're-" I couldn't catch my breath, holding onto him as tightly as I could, tears filling my eyes.
I don't think I'd ever been this scared.
"I'm fine-" Alec rubbed my back, holding me as long as I wanted him to, trying to talk me down, "It was all just a dream."
Then I notice the small clock on his nightstand that read 3:02 am.
"Oh my god, I'm sorry-" I pulled away, guilt washing over me as I thought about how tired he was, "I woke you up- I'm fine- just, go back to sleep-"
"Zee, stop, it's okay-" Alec stops me, "What happened- are you all right?"
I sigh, running a hand through my hair, "I was- back at Lake Lyn. I was drowning and then I saw you- and Izzy- and Jace- just everyone I've ever loved, vanish into the water like nothing was ever there and I was alone, staring at my own reflection. And it happened, again, and again- and again-"