"Zee, please come to bed-" Alec mumbles from his bed, covering in his blanket, turned so he can look at me while I sat on the couch in his room.
"I will- in a minute-" I don't even look up, my eyes glued to chapter of the book I was reading, "Let me finish this-"
Alec groaned, "You can finish it in the morning."
"Alec!" I flipped the page, "I'm almost done."
"Zee, I'm tired-" Alec complained in an exhausted tone, "Come to bed, please-"
"Alec, give me a minute- I promise I'll be there in a minute." I was too invested in the paragraph I had my eyes set on, feeling excitement bursting within me with every word I read.
Then, I heard shuffling, my eyes tearing away from the page I was reading when I see a tired looking Alec stood in front of me, the blanket wrapped him, his hair a mess.
His voice was raspy and laced with tiredness, looking down at me, "Move your book."
I stare at him, my eyebrows furrowing in confusion.
Alec grabbed my book from my lap and shut it closed, setting it to the side, a gasp leaving my lips as I quickly picked it up, "Alec, my page!"
Alec lays down on the couch I sat on, resting his head on my lap, nuzzling into his blanket, closing his eyes, "Goodnight."
I looked down at his head, holding my closed book in my hand, so at a loss of words that I couldn't even rush to find the page I was once on and so invested in.
"Oh, and- I love you." Alec added in a moment later, yawning a little, his cheek nuzzled against my thigh, leaving me speechless, staring at him in admiration.
-
"From everything I've heard, my mother suffered in silence alone for years." Jace told me as I followed him into the courtyard, "She never got the help she needed."
I was dressed in a yale blue V neck, that was tucked into black ripped jeans, and black combat boots.
I put my straightened hair behind my ears and cross my arms, "Jace, whatever's going on with you- we're gonna figure it out."
Jace inhales deeply, "I'm thinking of going to the City of Bones for treatment."
"What?" I blinked in slight surprise, "You want to go to Silent Brothers?"
Jace nods once, "They have a history of helping Shadowhunters with mental health issues."
I sigh, shaking my head lightly, "Jace, we don't know that's what you're going through-"
Jace cuts my sentence off, pressing on his point, "There's a family history."
"Except you didn't start experiencing this until I made the wish and brought you back." I shot back a valid argument, "Do you really think that's a coincidence?"
"I think- it was a trigger for something that's always been there." Jace's reply made me shut up, since he could've been right, "Look, I can't sit benched and do nothing- if there is even a chance that the Silent Brothers can help, then that's-"
"But, what if they can't?" I argued with him, "Jace, the Clave would deem you unfit for duty and you'd be deruned."
"And what choice do I have?" Jace's voice sounded weak and filled with pain, "I can't live like this."
My hard expression soften at my breaking best friend, who seemed like he was hanging off a string.
I felt guilty, because this was my fault.
As much as Jace tried to convince me it wasn't.
I knew it was.
Somehow, someway.
And I desperately wanted to fix it.
I placed my hands on my hips, throwing out a suggestion, "I could try to talk to the Angel."
"No, no, it's too dangerous." Jace denied right away for my safety, "If we summon Raziel, he could destroy us just for bothering him."
"Fine- what about Ithuriel?" I questioned, stepping closer to him, "He helped me when I was under the influence of Lake Lyn's water- his blood runs in our veins- he'll help us now."
Jace began shaking his head at my words.
"Jace, I want to fix this." I placed my hands on his arms, "If you are suffering the consequences of being brought back from the dead because of the wish I made, I won't be able to live with myself if I didn't do something I knew could help you."
Jace stares at me for a moment; silent.
"Well, what are you gonna do?" Jace gave into my pleading, "Are you gonna text him?"
"No, I have him on speed dial." My words brought a soft smile on both of our faces, as I hugged onto him tightly, as he held a tight grip on me, "I promise- I'll figure something out, okay?"
Jace held me tighter, his voice quiet, "Okay."
-
"Hey, you-" I walked into Alec's room, softly smiling when I see him slipping on the shirt I had gotten him a little while ago that he swore he'd never wear, "You're wearing the shirt I got you."
"You got it for me-" Alec faces me when I walked further in, closing the door behind me, my eyes scanning down his bare chest and lower, "Of course I'm going to wear it."
"Well- if I recall correctly, you swore to me that you'd never wear it." I stood in front of him, gently running my hands up his abdomen, grabbing his shirt and beginning to button it for him.
"That was all an act-" Alec admits, placing his hands on my hips, "Wearing this shirt means I get to tell anyone and everyone that compliments me about it that my girlfriend got it for me."
"I love you." My smile only widened at his words, leaning up and pressing my lips into his for a moment.
There was no amount of words that could describe how this man made me feel.
Alec kisses my forehead when we pull apart, as I walked over to his full body mirror and ran a hand through my hair a couple times.
Alec walks behind me and wraps his arms around me, trapping my arms from moving, "I was thinking- that it wouldn't be an issue if we didn't have to go back and forth between our rooms so much."
My hands gently rested on his arms as I looked at him through the mirror, "Okay-"
"And- well- I mean, you spend almost every night in here." Alec trailed off, his voice lowering as he continued speaking, as if he was afraid to ask something, "So- we're already used to sharing a room anyway."
I squeezed his arms lightly in comfort, leaning back into him, "What is it, Alec?"
"So-" Alec inhales shakily, unwrapping his arms and grabbing mine, turning me to face him gently so he could look into my eyes as he said this, looking between them, "What if we got our own place?"
It was like my voice had disappeared, "What?"
"Like- our own apartment." Alec persuaded, putting a strand of my hair behind my ear, "Where- we don't need to worry about Jace barging in on us- or waking up in time for pancake day- or even Isabelle rummaging through your closet to borrow clothes-"
"Alec-" His name came out as a whisper, not being able to voice how much I wanted to say yes.
"And there's no rule that states that the Head of the Institute has to stay at the Institute-" Alec continued to ramble as if he didn't get this all out, I would've said no, "And I-"
I grabbed his face and kissed him, shutting him up.
Alec immediately kisses back, wrapping his arms around me, pulling me closer.
I pulled away lightly, my voice quiet as I looked into the eyes of the man I loved, "Yes."
Alec looked relived and happy, "Really?-"
"Yes, really." I couldn't help but smile, "We can start looking for places-"
Alec cuts me off by pressing his lips into mine.
-
"I can't believe he finally manned up and asked you to move in with him!" Isabelle was bursting with excitement through the phone, as I walked through the streets.
"Wait-" I paused, "You knew about this?"
"He's been trying figure out how to ask you for weeks-" Isabelle came clean, "God- you should've seen the look on his face when I made a joke about you saying no."
"Iz!" I laughed softly, "One of these days, you're going to give him a heart attack."
"Maybe-" Hangers were hitting against each other from her line, "By the way- can I borrow a dress? I need something mundane to wear."
I stopped for a moment, "Are you in my room?"
Isabelle went silent, then admits, "Yes."
"Go ahead-" I exhale deeply, beginning to walk again, "Going undercover?"
Isabelle trails off, "Something like that-"
I confront her, "Iz, what's going on?"
"I'm going out tonight with the doctor." Isabelle confessed to me, hangers clacking against each other.
"No way-" I couldn't help but smile at her words, "I want to know everything."
"It's just dinner." Isabelle stressed, "I'm only doing it so he can leave me alone."
"Well, then why go out with him at all?" I asked, confused, "He's only going to end up head over heels for you after that dinner."
"You're right." Isabelle considered, "I should cancel."
"What?" I blurted, "No-"
Isabelle continued, "Help with The Owl search."
"Iz, you've been working non-stop, you can take a couple hours and enjoy yourself." I cut her off, "Oh, and- wear the orange dress- it'll look great."
"Fine-" Isabelle sighs dramatically.
"By the way-" I began, "I want to meet him."
Isabelle shot back, "No way."
"What?" I was defensive, but smiling, "The mundanes have their best friend approval- I have the parabatai approval."
"Well, your parabatai approval can wait-" Isabelle couldn't stress enough, "It's one dinner."
The corner of my lips turned up at her words in humor, "You're saying that now."
-
"Are these the victims of the Owl?" I asked Luke as I stood in the precinct, my arms crossed, staring at the board.
"Yeah." Luke nods, "26 victims in total throughout the tristate area."
"Law enforcement thinks it's some deranged cult brainwashing their members to kill their loved ones." Luke continued, then sat down, looking at me, "What's up?"
"Uhm-" I inhale, "I need to talk to your sister."
Luke looks at me, "Cleophas?"
"Yeah, Cleophas-" I got quieter as I stood in front of his chair, "I need an Iron Sister and for what I have to do, I can't go to the Citadel."
"What's this all about?" Luke asked me, looking between my eyes, staring at me.
I don't reply, looking away.
"Kiddo, it's me." Luke reminded me after noticing my silence, "You can talk to me about anything."
I exhale deeply.
I needed to tell someone.
"You can't tell anyone about this." I made him swear, before sitting on the ground, leaning my back against his cabinets.
"Um- back at Lake Lyn when Jace, Clary and I were battling Valentine, Jace wasn't just injured." I came clean quietly, as if all the weight I had been carrying had been lifted, "He was killed."
Luke sat up, "What?"
"My best friend was dead, Luke-" Small tears formed in my eyes at the thought, "One of the only people that knows me better than anyone- and Raziel was right in front of me- and I- I did the only thing I could think of."
Luke already knew, piecing two and two together, "You had Raziel bring him back?"
"It was the only thing I could do-" I huffed deeply and covered my face, "Luke, I've been lying.0
"I've been lying to Alec, to Izzy, to everyone-" My eyes were burning with tears when I uncovered my face, "It's killing me- lying to my parabatai- lying to Alec- especially Alec-"
Luke places a hand on my shoulder, "It's okay-"
"No, it's not okay-" I looked at him, a tear falling from my eye, "I think something's wrong with Jace, and I think it's my fault."
Luke stares at me, "What?"
"Ever since Jace has been brought back to life- he hasn't been himself." I pinch the bridge of my nose, "There is something seriously wrong with him- and I can't figure out what it is."
Luke exhales, "And that's why you need Cleophas?"
"She can communicate with the angels, right?" I reasoned, wiping my tear, "Maybe- she can ask Ithuriel for help."
-
"Oh, man-" Luke breathes deeply when we came out of the portal I created, "I will never get used to that."
"It comes in handy." I ran a hand through my hair, looking at the farm house, "Of all places, why would she come here?"
"I brought her here." Luke told me, walking down the path, "It's my farm."
I looked at him, "I never knew you had a farm."
"I stayed here for six months, back when I first turned- back when my life fell apart." said Luke, "That little farm house is where I put it back together."
"I read the reports- after what Valentine did to her-" I inhale sharply, "Let's hope the farm house had a similar effect on her."
"I wouldn't know." Luke honestly told me when we walked up the porch, "I haven't heard from her since I brought her here, she's cut herself off."
I huff deeply, "I can't say I blame her."
"Cleo?" Luke knocked on the door, "It's Lucian."
The door slowly opened, revealing Cleophas, who looked between us, her eyes landing on me.
"I don't think we've met-" I went to introduce myself, "I'm Zee Young-"
"Zee." Cleophas caught both Luke and I off guard by wrapping her arms around me and holding me tightly.
I traded looks with Luke, just as confused as he was.
-
"Ithuriel- he's helped before." I held the cup of tea that Cleophas had given us, sitting on the back porch with her.
Cleophas looks between my eyes, "And you think he could help again."
"Iron Sisters do have ways to communicate with the angels." Cleophas exhales when she sees the look on my face, "But- I'm afraid I cannot do that for you."
I sat up, "What?"
Luke confronts her, "You can't, or you won't?"
Cleophas' voice went quiet, "I have been trying to contact the angels, but as hard as I try, they will not answer."
I stare at her, "Why?"
"I'm not certain." Cleophas looks down at her cup of tea, "I sometimes wonder if my own irredeemable actions have severed my ties to the heavens."
"I'm useless." Cleophas looks at me, inhaling, "But you, Zee- you are far from useless."
My eyes squint in confusion, "I'm not following-"
"You may not be an Iron Sister, but- Ithuriel's blood runs through you-" Cleophas explained so that I could understand.
I squeezed the cup in my hands lightly, "You think I can summon Ithuriel?"
"No one other than an Iron Sister has done it before." Cleophas said, "There may be risks, but- it's certainly worth a try."
Luke immediately asked, "What risks?"
"There's a chance it could anger Ithuriel." Cleophas thought out loud, "He could lash out at her."
I swallowed, "He's never hurt me before-"
"He chose those moments to appear to you." Cleophas reminded me, "Summoning an Angel is a whole different story."
Luke turned his head to look at me, "Zee, I know this is important, but- so are you."
I went quiet for a moment.
But, this didn't change what I was going to do.
"I have to do this." I didn't even think twice about my answer, knowing that this was my permanent decision, "For Jace."
-
"This contains trace amounts of adamas, to help call the Angels." Cleophas sprinkled whatever was in her hand around the circle she just drew in the dirt, as the night had fallen over us.
Cleophas gestures for me to enter the circle, as I do just that, looking at her for further instructions.
"Activate your angelic rune." Cleophas directs.
I grabbed out my stele and pulled my arm out of my leather jacket, activating my stele rune before shoving my stele in my back pocket and slipping my arm back in.
"Now, repeat after me." Cleophas instructed carefully, "Ignis aurum probat,"
I obliged, "Ignis aurum probat."
"Ita probat me." Cleophas finished.
I repeated, "Ita probat me."
Then, the circle I stood in slowly surrounded me in gold, glowing brightly.
Cleophas' eyes widen lightly, "They've heard you."
I looked at her, "What happens now?"
Cleophas walked over to Luke, looking at me, "For you to hear them, we have to leave you here."
"Leave her here?" Luke denied, "No way."
"You're a Downworlder, and I murdered an Iron Sister." Cleophas reasoned, "How do you think the Angel's gonna react to us?"
"Luke- I'll be fine-" I assured him, "Just go."
Luke exhales deeply and gave in, as Cleophas spoke before leaving with Luke, "May the Angel be with you."
-
I looked around in the dark, not moving from the circle, trying to see if there was any signs of Ithuriel.
Moments after looking, there was bright, shining light in the dark night sky, inching towards where I stood, hovering above me.
The light crashed a few feet away from me as I covered my eyes from the light, the day suddenly appearing in the sky, Ithuriel revealing himself.
"Zee," Ithuriel stepped closer to me, a hard look on his face, "You should not be here."
"Ithuriel, I'm sorry to have summoned you." I looked down when I stood straight, not meeting his eyes in slight fear that he would destroy me, "I understand if you're angry- but, I wouldn't have summoned you if it wasn't for a good reason."
"It's all right, my child." Ithuriel's expression, along with his voice softened, "I'm here for you."
When I looked at him, he speaks, stepping closer, "You've come because of Jace."
I inhale, "You know what happened?"
"I do." confirmed Ithuriel, nodding once.
"I need to know-" I began slowly, staring at Ithuriel, "Is Jace the way he is because of what I did?"
"No." Ithuriel gently shook his head, "But, returning from death has left him vulnerable, you now face a greater threat than you realize."
I stammered, "I- I don't understand-"
"A great evil has arrived in the realm of the mundane." Ithuriel told me.
The name slipped out my mouth almost immediately, "The Owl?"
"The Owl has a master." Ithuriel stepped closer to me, "Its name is-"
A claw broke right through Ithuriel's pure flesh, holding his heart right in front of me and through his chest, his sentence being cut off by his own scream.
I gasped immediately, my eyes widening at what I had just witnessed, instant guilt and sorrow filling me.
Then, Ithuriel exploded into a burst of light that sent me flying back, hitting the ground hard, the darkness in the sky returning.
But, no matter how dark it was, I could still make out the features of the demon that hovered over me.
One I had never seen before.
I blinked, trying to focus my blurry vision from hitting my head, leaning on my elbows, trying to reach for my kindjal in my thigh sheath.
Not only had I not recognized this demon, the demon was bigger, stronger and more frightening than anything I had ever seen before.
The demon shrieked right in my face, making my fear rise in my chest, my hands grasping at the dirt as if doing this would help me stay attached to it.
The demon was centimeters away from me, as I screwed my eyes shut, preparing for whatever was going for me.
But, suddenly, I felt like all the energy was being sucked from my body, and I hadn't been touched.
I opened my eyes fearfully, the blood free claw of the demon right over my chest, a blue light moving from my chest towards the demon's claw.
My eyes rolled to the back of my head when the demon slowly began retreating, as I fell back, passing out right then and there, the last thing I heard being the loud shrieking of the demon that hadn't touched me.
-
A loud gasp left my lips as I immediately tried to sit up, pain and exhaustion striking throughout my body.
"It's okay, it's okay-" Luke's gentle voice filled my ears as he lightly grabbed my arms to stop me and comfort me, "You're gonna be alright."
I looked around, confusion present in my expression when I realized I was back in the farm house.
My eyes fell onto my phone that resting on the coffee table next to the couch I was laid on, seeing the screen light up for a moment, multiple missed calls from Alec.
I grabbed onto the arm of the couch and tried to push myself up despite the pain, reaching for my phone when Luke stops me, "Hey- you need to rest-"
"What happened out there?" Cleophas asked the question that was probably burning in both her and Luke's minds, "Did Ithuriel appear?"
Then, it all came rushing back.
My eyes widen with fright and shock, an overwhelming, unknown emotion rushing through me as I tried to keep myself propped up, "Ithuriel-"
authors note:
just so y'all know
lilith took a sliver of zee's soul because zee's broken jace's compulsion multiple times, and his love for his best friend overpowers everything ? I think , yes , that was my thought process.
but , hi I'm so sorry for such a late update and missing last weeks update ! I feel terrible , but I've been piled with homework and finals are so close that I hadn't even gotten the chance to write , and I felt so guilty the entire week
and especially since you all were being so understanding, I just kept feeling so horrible about it because you guys were being so supportive and I wasn't giving back enough !
thank you to everyone who understood tho, it really comforted me that you guys could wait a little extra for an update
even tho they're so trash smh
but, thank you for 32k !!
go read metanoia !!
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