Isabelle sighs as her, Jace and I walked through the streets where Sebastian apartment was nearing, "Zee, don't-"
"No, I feel terrible." I shot back at her, running my hands through my hair, "Everything is falling apart, okay- I'm lying to everyone, I knew something was off about Sebastian when he first got here but I never thought twice about it, god- my father's a psychopath-"
Jace was behind me, "Didn't we already know that Valentine was a psychopath?"
"He's even more a psychopath now, Jace!" I pinch the bridge of my nose, confessing, "Jonathan isn't Jocelyn's son, he's my mother's."
This makes Isabelle stop in her place, "What?"
"Yeah, I know-" I cross my arms, stopping as well, "Alec was the only one who knew until today."
I had told Clary before I left on mission, and she told me that all that mattered now was catching him.
But, I knew it hurt her to lose another family member that wasn't "fully" hers.
Because I've felt like that too.
Jace had stopped also, "How do you know?"
"In my mother's journal-" I sigh and looked down, "She wrote that Valentine took her memories of ever having Jonathan because she found out Valentine experimented on the baby."
"Probably because she tried to run off like she tried with me-" I placed my hands on my hips, staring at my boots, "He took Jonathan from her and made it seem like she never had a child before me. She retrieved the memories with Magnus the day she was killed."
Jace scoffs in frustration, walking past us, "Once I find him, I'm gonna-"
"Kill him? Let's share that pleasure." Isabelle follows him, as I looked between them, my expression softening as I chased after them.
We burst through Sebastian's apartment door, holding our weapons tight and steady, ready for anything that may come for us.
Sebastian's blond hair was easily recognizable, his back towards us as he was slouched in an office chair.
"Jonathan!" I immediately said, stepping closer.
Jace inched closer as well, "Turn around and face us."
"Where is Valentine?" Isabelle questions, holding her staff tightly.
When we all notice him not replying to any of our questions, Isabelle uses her staff to turn him around, revealing a dead Sebastian Verlac, tortured and having dried blood wherever you looked.
"By the Angel-" I almost gasped, stepping closer.
"He's been dead for days." Jace let his guard down as Isabelle and I did already, "Tortured first- this was the real Sebastian Verlac."
The fact that Jonathan did this to an innocent Shadowhunter made my blood boil.
Jace closes Sebastian's eyes, stepping back, "Ave atque vale."
"Hail and farewell." We recited together.
Then, I noticed Sebastian start to tremble intensity, before letting out a demonic howl, leaping onto the wall, "Oh, hell no-"
Jace was in position, armed as we all were, "It's a possessing demon-"
I stared at Sebastian, holding position, "The same kind that murdered my mom."
"Then we know how to kill it." Isabelle moved her staff into a whip, grabbing Sebastian and pulling him to the ground as Jace and I pierced our blades into him, the demon vanishing within Sebastian, revealing his true form, where his skin was green and showing that he had been dead for a while.
Isabelle stares down at Sebastian, "We'll make 'em pay for what they did to you."
I crouched, my eyes glued to Sebastian, my jaw clenched, "We're going to make them pay for everything."
-
Inquisitor Herondale questioned through the tablet as we had her video chat to notify her of what we had found, "Have you notified the Verlac family yet?"
Alec was seated in his chair as Jace and I stood behind him, "The Penhallow daughter, Aline, will deliver the message in person, Madame Inquisitor."
"Defiling the body of a fallen soldier and turning it into a booby trap is sadly par for the course for Valentine, isn't it?" Inquisitor Herondale said.
"The possessing demon wouldn't have done this its own." Alec told her, "The trap could only have been set using the Mortal Cup to command it."
Inquisitor Herondale scoffs, "So, he had it all along."
"And our intel shows he's also in possession of the Mortal Sword." Alec adds in.
Inquisitor Herondale sighs, "Do you have any good news for me today, Mr. Lightwood?"
"Valentine and Jonathan believe that the New York Institute is in possession of the Mortal Mirror." Alec mentions, "They won't leave the city without it."
Inquisitor Herondale sits up, "Thank the Angel that at least he wasn't able to find that."
"We were." Alec looks back at me, "Zee."
"My connection with the Angel led us to it, and fortunately for us, It's in Idris." I had my hands behind my back as I stepped up, "The mirror is Lake Lyn."
"That's the very same water that Raziel first rose from." Inquisitor Herondale almost gasped, "Who else knows about this?"
"Unfortunately, the number of people we can trust is getting smaller by the day." Jace joined in, "We thought it best to tell you first."
"We'd like to officially request soldiers from the Guard to be placed in the surrounding woods around the lake." Jace requests, "It may only be a matter of time before Valentine realizes he's been had."
"I'll speak to Consul Malachi about deployment at once." Inquisitor Herondale said before the video chat cut out, "Good hunting."
Jace sighs, walking around Alec's desk, "So- what do we do now?"
"Start looking." I crouch, folding my arms on Alec's desk and placing my chin on them, sarcasm slipping out of my lips, "I mean, how hard could it be to find two people in an area filled with at least nine million?"
"The job is too big to go alone." Alec got up, "We need to ask for help."
Jace looks at him, "From who, Alec?"
Alec looks between Jace and I as I got up, just as curious as Jace was, "From everyone."
-
"Where, oh where is Simon?" The Seelie Queen questions as we walked into the council meeting Alec had called for, where Magnus, Luke and Raphael stood behind her.
"Your Highness." Clary remarks, her behind Alec and I with Jace and Isabelle, "What an unpleasant surprise."
Alec shot her a look, quickly speaking as we came to a stop, "I'm sure she didn't mean to-"
"No offense, Alec, but I agree with Clary." Jace crosses his arms, "Your Majesty is this another one of your little games?"
"The Institute called an emergency meeting of the Downworld Council." The Seelie Queen shot us all a look, "I speak on behalf of the Downworld."
"Wait- what?" I was appalled, scoffing in disbelief, taking a step closer, raising my finger at her and opening my mouth to let out a number of profanities towards Magnus and Luke.
Alec grabs my arm, staring at me with a look that screamed not to do what I was about to do, making me drop my hand and shut my mouth, my expression twisting in frustration as I looked down.
"Henceforth, when you need anything from the Downworld, you shall address me, Mr. Lightwood." The Seelie Queen simply said, "Such is the nature of our new agreement."
"Your Highness, Valentine believes the Institute has the Mortal Mirror; and he's not going to leave the city without it." Alec began, putting his hands behind his back, "I would like the Downworld's help in locating him."
The Seelie Queen was unaffected, "In order to capture him so that he might escape once again?"
"In order to execute him so this threat may finally end." Alec corrects her, his tone firm and straight.
The Seelie Queen doesn't react to this either, her face straight, "Why should we believe you?"
My hand goes behind Alec's back without breaking my gaze at the Seelie Queen, tapping Alec's hand, wanting him to hold mine due to this meeting making my mood even worse than it already was.
Alec grabs my hand, intertwining our fingers, keeping his hand behind his back, "I understand why you might doubt my intentions after what happened with the Soul Sword."
"And for that, I am sorry." Alec apologized, "But- I founded this council to make things more transparent between the Downworld and the Clave."
"And how has that been going?" The Seelie Queen almost scoffs in humor.
Alec doesn't react, his expression serious, "It's been a bit of a work in progress."
"For far too long, the Downworld has depended on the Clave and your Institute to protect us from men like Valentine." The Seelie Queen stood up, "It's time we learnt our lesson and started fighting for ourselves."
"We can't do this alone." I stared at her, scoffing, "Valentine is a threat to all of us."
"The answer, Shadowhunters- is no." The Seelie Queen walks past us, gesturing for Luke, Magnus and Raphael to follow her, except Magnus was the only one to follow her, "Come along."
"Luke!" I let go of Alec's hand when him and Raphael follow a moment later when she had disappeared, chasing after him.
Luke came to a stop, looking back at me as the angry look on my face remained, "Why are you doing this? I understand why Magnus would but, you? We all know the Seelie Queen doesn't have your best interests at heart."
"To be honest, I don't think she has a heart." Luke remarks, "Look, I gotta think of my pack."
"We're stronger together, Luke." I tried, huffing deeply, desperate at this point, "Please, just-"
"Her Court can protect us from anything that Valentine and his son can throw at us." Luke cut me off, his eyes scanning my features, "The Institute can't."
I covered my face, feeling angry.
That was the only emotion I felt recently.
I drop my hands, "Just- no matter what don't let either of them leave the city."
Luke places a hand on my shoulder, squeezing it in comfort, "Me and my wolves will die trying."
"Don't." I turned, walking away from him, and past Jace and Alec, who were watching me.
-
"I thought you weren't supposed to be helping us." Clary remarks as she stood next to Jace, across from where I was seated, Luke on the phone.
"Consider this an anonymous tip." Luke said, "We ran down his Circle members, but we lost Valentine when Jonathan grabbed him and pinballed up three fire escapes and leapt out of sight."
Maia comments, "Yeah, Blondie moves like a demon."
"Yeah?" I don't react, two of my fingers against my temple, as I leaned my elbow on the surface, "Well, that's because he is one."
Maia spoke, "Well, on the plus side, he won't get very far."
"Yeah." Luke agrees, "By the order of the Queen, Warlocks have put up Wards all around the city."
"No portals or travel, in or out, for anyone with Nephilim blood." Luke continued, "A Shadowhunter crosses that threshold, they get vaporized."
"So- be careful." Luke warned before the call ended, "We'll continue the hunt on our end."
"Hey, spread the word-" Jace caught a few Shadowhunters, "Shadowhunter movement into and out of the city stops immediately."
As they nodded, Jace joins us back by the table, "No more Shadowhunters die today-"
"Hey." Alec walks over to us, "Isabelle's on her way back with Rufus; guess who just tried to portal to Idris?"
"Valentine must know that we don't have the Mirror." Alec leans his palms against the table surface, "And, presumably, where the real one is."
"Look, let's stay focused on what we can control, not what we can't." Jace put a hand on his shoulder to comfort him, "We will figure this out."
Alex sighs deeply, "So, we're stuck inside the city along with them now, but have no way of finding him-"
I tune Alec's voice out, getting stuck in my thoughts, suddenly seeing a gold rune engraved in my mind.
"I can track him." I speak up, looking at Alec and Jace, catching them both off guard, "But, I need Jace to do it."
-
"So- you want to use your blood to track your un-trackable brother through the Angelic connection that you and I share?" Jace remarks, tossing his leather jacket onto the bench as him and I were in the courtyard, "Well, totally, that sounds great- doable."
"As insane as the idea sounds, it's our only option left." I slipped off my leather jacket, putting it on the bench as well, leaving me in only the black t shirt I had on, keeping it tucked, "Jonathan and I both have Morgenstern blood in our veins- and I had this flash of a rune when I was thinking about the four of us."
"Maybe I can use our shared connections to figure out where Jonathan is, I don't know-" I pinch the bridge of my nose, inhaling sharply, "I need a lead."
"Fine-" Jace nods lightly, understanding due to knowing how stressed I've been, running a hand through his hair, "All right, do your thing-"
"Thank you." I sigh, closing my eyes, inhaling sharply, thinking of the rune I had saw earlier, feeling the rune searing itself on my chest, the gold glowing through the black fabric of my shirt.
I open my eyes and look at Jace, gesturing to his chest, wanting him to just lift a little of his shirt up, "Help me find a blank spot?"
Instead, Jace takes off his shirt and tossed it to the side, as I blink, "Or, you could just do that."
The rune that just seared itself onto my chest appeared in front of me, as I placed a hand on Jace's shoulder gently and pushed it onto a blank spot of Jace's chest.
Jace watched my every move, "So, are you just- magic now, or?"
"I wish-" I began, but cut myself off, my voice fading when there was an overwhelming, unfamiliar feeling rushing through my veins.
Jace felt it too.
The rune had taken effect, except I didn't know that it would be this intense.
There was a gold light shining on us, suddenly there being a cool breeze but I felt warm.
All of our runes began to glow gold, and it felt like we were the only two people that existed in the world.
That was when I noticed how close Jace and I were.
Too close.
So close that when I lifted my head up just the slightest bit, I could feel his hot breath on my neck and our faces were inches apart.
It was like whatever was felt ages ago had surfaced because of the rune.
Because of the rune.
Before I could even process what was happening, Jace and I's lips were pressed together.
The rune was so intense that I felt like I was drugged.
I couldn't comprehend what was happening.
Neither could Jace.
Then unexpectedly, a wave of vibration pulls us apart, making us both jump back from each other.
Our breathing was heavy as we stared at each other, completely disoriented from what just happened.
When I realize what we had just done, my hands clamp over my mouth as I stepped back, my eyes wide with fear, "Oh my god."
As if my life couldn't get any worse right now.
"Don't freak out-" Jace began, taking a step closer to me, as I jumped back.
"Don't freak out?" I almost shrieked, dropping my hands to my sides, beginning to tear up as I stared at Jace, lowering my voice, "I just cheated on my boyfriend!"
"And I just kissed my parabatai's girlfriend, so you don't get to hog the guilt-" Jace points out, grabbing his shirt and slipping it on, "I just- what do we do?"
"What the hell do you mean what do we do?" I walked over to him, my voice low to make sure no one else hear, "We have to tell Alec."
"Of course we have to tell him-" Jace ran a hand through his hair, "He's going to-"
"Hate us?" I finished his sentence, "Yeah, I know."
"We'll just tell him right now- just, rip the bandaid off." Jace pulled out his phone, texting Alec.
I sat down on the bench and covered my face, exhaling deeply, tears burning in my eyes and immediately damping my palms.
Jace gently sat himself next to me after putting away his phone, "It's gonna be okay, he'll understand-"
"Jace, he'll be crushed." I snipped at him, moving my hands from my face and into my hair, my elbows on my thighs, "I keep screwing up and everything's falling apart, now- I don't know what to do about it."
Jace's eyes filled with empathy as they scanned my appearance, his voice lowering, "You know, if you don't want to tell him we don't have to."
I paused, dropping my hands, folding them together.
I look from ahead of me, to Jace, softly shaking my head, my voice quieter than I intended it to be, "I can't lie to him."
Before Jace could reply or I could continue, Alec walks out into the courtyard, "Did you track him?"
Then he notices me crying, instantly walking over to me, "What's wrong? Why are you crying?-"
I jump up, stepping away from him, hugging myself in guilt, my eyes expressing the guilt I felt perfectly, as they were locked with his.
Jace slowly got up, standing next to me, clearing his throat, his expression matching the guilt I showed and felt, "We have something we need to tell you."
Alec stood in front of us, looking between us both, confused but suspicious, "What's going on?"
"Oh my god, I can't do it." I cover my mouth, tearing up again, looking down at the ground since I couldn't look at him any longer.
Jace inhales sharply, "While Zee and I were tracking Jonathan, something happened."
Alec's expression hardened as if he was preparing himself for what was to come, "What happened?"
This Jace doesn't reply to, and neither do I.
Alec stepped closer, repeating himself but this time in a more stern and firm tone, "What happened?"
"We kissed!-" I blurt out, tears falling from my eyes, scrambling to explain, "It was because of the rune, and I swear it meant nothing, I swear on the Angel-"
Alec's body stiffened.
The amount of hurt in his eyes looked like he had just been stabbed right through the heart a hundred times, his voice falling quiet and breaking, "What?"
"Alec, it was the rune, it just- I don't know how to explain it-" I reached to grab his hands, "This would never happen intentionally-"
My heart broke when Alec stepped away from my reach, his eyes holding a glossy sheet and a red tint.
"Alec, the rune, there was this feeling-" Jace tried to help me explain, "It was just a second, and-"
"Stop, just-" Alec pushed his palm forward, "Just- stop!"
"Alec-" I began, taking a step closer.
"Just, stop." Those were the only words Alec could muster out, his voice varying as he shook his head, turned and walked away from us.
-
"Why would they hide in a graveyard?" Clary questions when we came out of the portal I created, where we had tracked Jonathan.
Isabelle exhales deeply, "They probably raided an old weapons cache."
Jace looks into the darkness of the night, "Doesn't explain what happened to everybody else here."
Alec took notice of the blood, "I don't think they left."
I crouched, my hand touching the hair claw that held half of my wavy hair up, looking at the blood on the ground, my back to him, my voice quiet, "Another demon trap?"
"Let's split up." Alec ignored me, "Teams of two."
I didn't blame him.
And none of us were acting like it didn't happen.
"I'll go alone." Jace and I blurt out at the same time.
I stood up and looked back at him, "I'm going alone."
Jace opens his mouth to speak, but I was already walking away, "If I'm lucky, I'll get killed."
"I'm going to make sure that doesn't intentionally happen." Isabelle followed me, Alec shooting her a glare wanting to be teamed up with her.
Clary looked between Jace and Alec, then backed Isabelle, "I'll go with Zee and Izzy."
Alec's expression dropped, not wanting to go with Jace because of what had happened earlier, "Wait-"
"You know what, we don't have the time- pick your teams and let's go-" I cut him off, pulling out my kindjals and running for the building, Isabelle and Clary chasing after me before Alec or Jace could decide.
When we enter the building, Clary clears her throat when we slowly head down the stairs, all of us armed, "So, I thought you and Alec would team up."
I don't reply to this, as Isabelle speaks right after Clary, looking around, "Wanna talk about whatever happened between you and Jace at the Institute?"
Clary looked at me, "Something happened between you and Jace?"
"Nothing happened." I walked further away from them, inching further into the building, "And even if it did, I wouldn't want to talk about it."
Isabelle almost rolls her eyes, "Zee, I'm your parabatai- I know when you're hurt, and when something's going on."
I broke form and looked at them both, huffing deeply, "I'm a terrible person, that's it- okay?"
Clary stood up along with Isabelle, "What happened?"
"Jace and I- kissed." I got back into position, avoiding eye contact with Isabelle and Clary, holding my kindjals tightly as I began walking further into the building, "The rune I created when we were trying to track Jonathan earlier- I guess it surfaced feelings that never came up when Jace and I were a thing, and just for a second it overwhelmed the both of us."
Isabelle knew exactly why I wouldn't make eye contact with her, "Zee- you both made a mistake."
I hurt her brother, and despite that she supported me.
"It meant nothing- I mean it, I love Alec." I looked down, stopping, "It just didn't go over well with Alec, and now he won't speak to either of us."
"I know- and I know you're hurting." Isabelle dropped form and placed a hand on my shoulder, "But, Alec loves you more than anything in this world."
"Izzy's right." Clary slowly walked over to me as well, "Alec will find it in his heart to forgive you."
I stood straight, looking between them, loosening my grip on my kindjals, my heart aching in pain as I said this, "But, will I be able to forgive myself?"
Then, a quiet snarling and growling filled our ears, making me get back into position immediately, noticing the old woman further into the building.
Clary inched closer to her, "Is she hurt?"
Isabelle's eyes widen, "No- she's forsaken."
Then suddenly more of them were coming at us from all directions right after her, surrounding us and throwing themselves at us viciously.
Grunts leaves our lips as we fought them off, piercing our weapons into them, killing them.
I killed the last one, blood splattering on my face, pulling my blade out, breathing heavily, looking at Clary and Isabelle, noticing how they both were stained in blood as well.
When we thought it was over, two more starting charging towards us until an arrow goes straight through their heads.
They drop to the ground, revealing Alec, who was also splattered in blood as he walked over to us, staying by Isabelle, "I think that's the last of them."
"Alec, are you okay?" Isabelle gave her brother a side hug, and I knew that she wasn't just asking about his physical state.
"I'm okay." Alec hugs her, staring at the ground.
Clary notices the absence of our blond friend, "Where's Jace?"
Alec looked at everyone but me, "Sebastian- we gotta find them."
"Sebastian." My head snapped up at his words, my eyes widening, my grip tightening on my kindjals, acting on impulse as I backed away, "I- I'm going after him-"
Isabelle looked at me, "Zee-"
"My necklace-" I spun, and ran off before they could say anything else, running back onto the graveyard.
I ran around, looking for Jace, until I spot two figures on the bridge a few feet ahead of me.
Sebastian's blond hair was too recognizable, along with Jace's loud pain filled grunts.
Jace was on the ground, and Sebastian stood over him, piercing his blade into him, "I wonder have you stopped blathering on because I just- punctured your lung?"
Jace screamed as I began running toward them, Sebastian raising his seraph blade to kill him, "Or maybe you've realized, here at the end that I have always been better than you?-"
"Sebastian, no!" I shouted, throwing one of my kindjals towards him, it landing in his back.
Sebastian lets out a loud grunt, turning toward me and pulling out my kindjal, throwing it to the ground, "Isn't it just amazing to see you again, dear sister?"
"Probably'll be the last time." I stood a few feet away from them, my eyes glued to Sebastian, "Where's my necklace?"
"You mean this?" Sebastian used his free hand to pull out the shimmering gold from his jacket pocket, as it dangled in his fingers, putting it back where he placed it before, "I think I'll just hold onto that."
"I told you myself that I would be the one that killed you." I held my kindjal tight, inching closer to him, "I keep my word."
"We both do remember the last time we did this dance-" Sebastian flipped his sword in his hand, stepping closer to me, "Are you really this eager to end up like that once more?"
I clench my jaw and duck when he swings, grabbing my kindjal from the ground, twisting my body and blocking his swing when he turned.
We fought on the bridge, grunts leaving our lips as Jace laid on the ground in pain, bleeding, holding his punctured lung.
Sebastian had his seraph blade at the side of my neck just like before, his free hand wrapped around my neck tightly, this time my back arching over the bridge, my back against the wood, my kindjals behind him after he had knocked them out of my hands.
He looked like he had been untouched, while I had a bruise on my cheek, bleeding from the side of my head.
"I don't want to do this." Sebastian stares into my eyes, "But, you've given me no other choice-"
"Valentine won't come back for you." I croaked our despite the lack of oxygen, feeling the cool metal of his blade against my bare collarbone.
This only made Sebastian angry, "Our father is a man of his word."
"He abandoned you, Sebastian." I coughed, "He used you- and now that he's done with you- he's tossed you aside."
Sebastian didn't want to accept this, tightening his grip on my neck, "He loves me!"
"If he loved you so much-" I struggled to breath, "Did he fill you in about how Jocelyn isn't really your mother?"
Sebastian stares at me, breathing heavily, "What?"
"Margaret Young was your mother, not Jocelyn Fairchild-" I choked out, gasping for air, my eyes beginning to roll to the back of my head, "Valentine took her memories of ever having you when she found out Valentine experimented on you- our mother didn't abandon you, Sebastian- Valentine took us both from her."
This hit Sebastian hard, but before he could reply, Isabelle's whip was around his wrist of the hand that was wrapped around my neck, "Stay away from her, you son of a bitch!"
She sensed something was wrong and came.
My hands grip the wood as I brought my feet up, kicking him back, hissing as his blade completely lacerated the side of my neck when I kicked him, the blood oozing out quickly, staining my clothes quickly.
I grabbed one of my kindjals and pierced it into his side, a grunt leaving his lips as he dropped his blade, as I coughed, trying to catch my breath, holding onto the wood for support, my hand over my chest.
Sebastian pulled my kindjal out, unaffected, turning towards Isabelle as she was now his opponent, "Well, I suppose this won't be a fair fight, then, will it?"
"You didn't seem to have a problem when you took a run at my baby brother and sister." Isabelle claimed me as her own, my heart warming for my parabatai.
"I trusted you when I was at my weakest!" Isabelle whipped her whip at Sebastian, as he bled from his cheek, "At my lowest! I brought you into my life into my family and you betrayed me!"
"I saved your life!" Sebastian growled as he caught her whip, pulling her towards him, "That should be worth something."
"That's why I'm giving you a more honorable death than you deserve." Isabelle nods toward me, letting go of her whip, Sebastian falling back, as I grabbed his seraph blade and piercing it right through him.
Right through the precise spot on a man's back where you can stab him through the spine and the heart at the same time.
By now, Alec and Clary had ran over, joining us on the bridge, breathing heavily.
"Remember this moment when you're dead." I pierced the blade farther despite it already being through him, as he let out ragged breathing, my voice lowering, "I was the one who killed you- your oh so beloved sister."
I pulled out the seraph blade and dropped it to the ground, my eyes scanning Sebastian as his blood dripped out of his mouth.
Sebastian grabbed me by my neck that was gashing out blood, as I almost screamed in pain and grabbed the wooden sides on the bridge, lifts myself off and pushing him off the bridge with me, catching myself last minute as Sebastian fell into the river.
I hung for a moment, before pulling myself back into the bridge, pulling out my steel and running it over my Iratze rune, as we all watched Sebastian's body in the water.
Isabelle watched Sebastian, "Hail and farewell."
I swallowed hard, not taking my eyes off the Sebastian, completely forgetting about my necklace, "Alec, this is me noticing you ignoring me."
Alec finally spoke to me for the first time since he's found out, also staring at Sebastian, "Zee, not now."
"Yes, now!-" I burst, turning to face him, stepping back, a overwhelming amount of emotions running through my veins, "Because I just killed my brother and I need to fix this before this destroys me too."
"You want to do this right now? Okay." Alec faces me, his eyes connecting with mine and the wounded look on his face felt like someone had ripped my heart out, "You destroyed me- you both did."
I swallow hard, staring at him and for a little while it felt like it was just us.
But, I knew Jace, Clary and Isabelle were watching, except they had stepped back and given us space.
"The love of my life- the woman I would die for- kissed my parabatai- my best friend-" Alec's voice sounded broken, his eyes holding a glossy sheet over them, "Can you even imagine how I feel right now?"
"I'm sorry, Alec-" I stepped closer, tearing up as well, "It was the rune, if it weren't for that rune- it would've never happened-"
"Zee, you're not getting the point." Alec stopped me, his voice varying sternly, "I never thought my entire life that I would be able to- get the chance to be with someone as amazing as you are."
"Because the minute you got here, you were interested in Jace- but, the feeling I felt when you told me that you loved me- you wouldn't be able to understand because the woman I had loved for so long finally loved me back." Alec's voice got quieter and filled with more hurt as he recalled, "And right when I thought that it was us- just us- something happens between you and Jace."
"Alec, I swear to the Angel it meant nothing!" My tone was practically pleading for him to believe me.
"Well, It means everything to me!" Alec shot back at me, breathing heavily, "It hurts- it hurts too much."
"Alec, I swear to the- you know what, hell- I swear on us!" I raise my voice, my tears falling, "You and I have been through hell and back together so- I swear on you and I because there's nothing I believe in more."
"I'm sorry, I'm so- sorry." I grabbed his hands, staring into his broken eyes that matched mine, my voice breaking, "I made a mistake, but, you and I- we always seem to find our way back to each other."
Alec shook his head, looking down at our hands, and I could tell he didn't want to let go, "Zee, I can't-"
"I know I screwed up, but, please don't leave me-" My bottom lip began to tremble, "You make me whole- there isn't a Zee Young without Alec Lightwood."
"I'm sorry- I just, I can't." Alec let go of my hand, stepping back, tears now streaming down his cheeks, "Ever since I found out, I've been trying to find some way to get over it- to believe you, but- I can't-"
"Alec, no- we can- we can work this out." My voice began to shake, fear clear in my eyes as he turned, walking away from me.
I choke a sob over, feeling frozen as I watched him walk away, my hand covering my mouth, collapsing onto my knees, "Alec, please don't leave me!"
"Hey- hey-" Isabelle came to my side, wrapping her arms around me, holding me as I cried, "It's gonna be okay, it'll be okay-"
Jace and Clary were behind me as they walked Alec walk away, comforting me in silence as well.
I reach to touch my necklace when I realize it's not there.
"My necklace." I suddenly gasp, slowly pulling myself up along with Isabelle and looking over to the bridge to see Sebastian not had gotten too far in the slow moving river.
I tear myself away from Isabelle's grasp, throwing myself off the bridge, hearing Isabelle and Clary's gasps, along with them along with Jace calling my name.
I landed in the cold water, resurfacing as soon as I hit, swimming over to Sebastian as fast I could.
I grabbed onto his jacket and stopped any movement, digging through all his pockets and fishing my necklace out.
I took one last glance at him before swimming off to the shore as he drifted off once more.
I coughed, putting my soaked hair behind my ears as I sat myself onto the ground, holding the necklace to my chest.
To love is to destroy and to be loved is to be the one destroyed.
I couldn't believe I screwed up this much.
Everything fell apart.
authors note:
so i cried
LISTEN TO GLASS HEART BY TOMMEE PROFITT AND SAM TINNESZ
AND TO DON'T SPEAK BY HIDDEN CITIZENS.
MAJOR FEELS, JUST SAYING.
i was hyping this chapter up for the entire week makin y'all think it was this legendary, extraordinary chapter that was gonna make you cry but it's not that deep, I realize that now, my apologies for scaring you people-
this ship is going to be the death of me, smh
zee is going through so much shit at the moment, how is this woman gonna handle it smh
she's gonna through hell and back, then hell again omfg
that gif fine af tho
but, go read metanoia !!!!
omg thank you for 17k !!
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