"Magnus just left-" I walked with Alec through the Institute, crossing my arms, the ends of my sleeves folding due to my oversized sweater, "He made it clear that Magnus will be punished for using Raj as bait, while transporting you to his apartment- but the form of punishment is yet to be determined."
"All for trying to save my life." Alec stopped in the hall, causing me to stop also and look at him, "You know- I heard you."
I blink, looking up at him, "What?"
"I heard what you said-" The corner of Alec's mouth slightly turned up, "I heard it all."
I stare at him suspiciously, "Like what?"
"How if I died on you, you would personally bring me back to life and kill me yourself." Alec called me out, a smile playing at his lips, "That was the highlight of it."
It looked like someone had written guilty right across my forehead due to the expression that fell onto my face when I heard his words, "Well- in my defense, I was very upset."
Well, at least he hasn't mentioned that I told him that I needed him.
"I know." Alec's voice went low, as he reached over, putting a strand of my straight hair behind my ear, "I'm sorry I put you through that. I just- wanted to find you and Jace."
"I know- you were only trying to help." I softly smile at him, "How is Jace?"
"He won't be gone long." Alec assured me, "Once his hand touches the Soul-Sword, the truth will come out, and prove that he's never been on Valentine's side."
"Good-" I nod lightly, then grab his hands, "Are you okay?"
Alec squeezes my hands gently, "Yeah, why wouldn't I be?"
I blink, "Alec- I mean, everything with you almost dying and all-"
"It seems like you're the one who can't get your mind off that." Alec's eyes scanned my face, then let's go of one of my hands, pulling me along, "You need to get your mind off that- come on, let's get out of here-"
"Wait-" I stay still, using our connected hands to pull him back towards me, "Right now?"
"Yeah-" The corner of Alec's mouth turned up, "You hungry?"
I stare at him for a second, then gave in, "Starving."
Interrupting, Raj stood a few feet away from us, "Hey, Alec, Zee- demon briefing in the Ops Center, all hands on deck."
"Raj-" I let go of Alec's hand and cross my arms, "Hey, I heard you got your ass handed to you and were used to fool Aldertree."
Raj stared at me, then rolls his eyes lightly, walking away, everyone else heading towards the briefing.
"Rain check-" I started to walk with Alec towards the Ops Center, "We have to do our job-"
Alec shot me a look, as I jerk to a stop when my mother came in front of me, "I've been looking all over for you- I need to speak with you."
"Can it- wait?" I questioned, looking between her and Alec, "We all have a briefing we need to go to-"
"I need to speak with you now-" She stared at me, "Please- I have something I need to tell you."
I exhale deeply, looking up at Alec.
He nods, kissing my head before walking away, "I'll fill you in, okay?"
I looked at my mother, concern flashing in my eyes, "What happened? Is everything okay?"
She sighs, grabbing my hands, "The Clave is reassigning me to Idris."
"What?" I blink, caught off guard, "Wait- why would they be doing that?"
"They want to test my loyalty." She admits, "Since I've been with Valentine for the past three years- they want to make sure I'm not a spy- or even on his side for the matter."
"Can't they test your loyalty hear?" I question, "I mean- you kept me away from Valentine for as long as you could- the Clave has to know you're not on his side."
"The Clave doesn't care if I didn't let Valentine poison both our minds." She squeezed my hands, "But- I wanted to know if you wanted to come with me."
"Come with you?" I repeat, "As in, come to Idris with you? Move- back to Idris?"
"It's completely your choice." She assured me, giving me a soft smile, "I won't force you to do anything. I just- wanted to know. We've spent so much time apart- and now, the Clave wants me in Idris-"
Alec and Isabelle walk over to us after the briefing, "Demon attack downtown."
"One mundane dead." Alec was holding my leather jacket, coming behind me, holding it for me to slip my arms through the holes.
I gently let go of my mother's hands and slip my arms through, noticing the smile on her face as she watched Alec and I, "We don't have Jace- so I think we should bring Clary."
Alec's hands rest on my shoulders when my jacket was on, as he shot me a whiny look, screaming that he didn't want that.
"Alec-" I shot him a look right back, "We're bringing her."
"Fine-" Alec exhales, "We'll get her on the way-"
I looked back at my mother, "Mom, I-"
"I know." She nods, "Go do your job."
I gave her a small smile, before heading over to the living space where Clary would be, Alec and Isabelle right behind me.
-
"Well, this is one nasty demon." Isabelle sighs, taking a sample, "Punched a hole right through his chest."
Luke walks back over to us, "With that kind of strength, I doubt it's done yet."
"Nothing in the immediate area." Alec joins Isabelle and I also, as Clary looked around.
"We're taking the body back to the Institute." Isabelle stood up, Clary walking over to us, "I'll run some tests to see what kind of demon we're dealing with."
"Zee and I will widen the perimeter." Alec nods, using his head to gesturing for me to come with him, "Come on, we got a demon to hunt-"
"Stay with Izzy, okay?" I told Clary, taking up the role as the older sister as per usual, then chasing after Alec, "Slow down!"
"It's not my fault you have tiny legs." Alec kept walking, grabbing out his stele.
I caught up to him, keeping my pace past just to stay by his side, as I shot him a look, "It's not my fault you have long legs."
I pulled out my stele, as we both activated our heat vision runes, our sight changing almost right away.
I blink a few times, looking around, "God- it's been over three years and I'm still not used to this-"
"You'll adapt sometime soon." Alec assured me, looking around, his tone slightly off, as if something was bothering him.
I squint lightly, continuing to walk with him, looking around also, "Right now, it feels impossible-"
"Impossible just means try again." Alec slightly scoffs after a minute, "Not that you have to worry about all that- you'll be outta the field soon enough."
Confusion ran over me as I looked at him for a split second, "What?"
"You're going to Idris." Alec mentioned, his tone at unease, "You're moving back?"
"I feel like I just talked to my mother about that." I looked at him, "I don't know if I want to go back."
Alec looked at me, his eyes scanning my expression for an answer besides I don't know.
"I mean, I grew up in Idris- and it would be nice to visit, Idris is amazing-" I thought out loud, "But, New York is also my home."
Alec stopped walking for a second, looking at me, "You're not- going to actually move to Idris, are you?"
He needed assurance that I would stay here; with him.
I stop in front of him, staring up at him, "Do you want me to go?"
Alec went quiet for a moment, making me smile softly and grab his hands.
"I'm not moving to Idris." I gently said, my expression remaining, "The Clave will test my mother's loyalty, and she'll be back here in no time."
The corner of Alec's mouth slightly turns up, "You're going to stay here?"
Everyone that I cared about that lived here crossed my mind.
"Why wouldn't I? My sister's here- my parabatai, my best friend," I tilt my head lightly, my eyes glued to his, the corner of my mouth turning up also, "-my boyfriend."
I push myself onto my tippy toes, barely reaching his height, "I'm not going anywhere, Alec."
Alec leans in, pressing his lips into mine for a few seconds, until I pull away.
"Come on, Lightwood." I let go of his hands, backing away in the direction we were heading, "This demon isn't gonna hunt itself."
-
"Alec." I quietly call out when we crossed the street, noticing the signatures dragged on the wall.
He followed me slowly, as we headed into an alley, where the heat signatures grew closer together and stopped right behind a few trash cans.
Alec and I cautiously headed towards it, as I pulled out one of my kindjal's, Alec moving in front of me and pulling out a seraph blade.
We slowly moved around the trash can, not to see a demon, but a scared girl, hugging her knees to her chest, blood stained everywhere, shaking and shuddering.
Alec's arm drops to his side, his eyes scanning the girl then looking around us, being aware of our surroundings.
"What happened?" The girl looked up at us, shuddering, "Who are you?"
I deactivate my heat vision rune, putting my kindjal away, "It's okay- there's no need to be afraid, we're here to help."
"It's a classic possession hangover." Alec muttered to me, sparking my memory, "Once the demon leaves the body, they have no memory of what they did."
The girl trembled, staring at her hands, "Is this blood? What did I do?-"
"Just try to keep calm." Alec told her, putting his blade away.
I glanced at him, dropping into a crouching position in front of her, "It's okay."
The girl stared at her shaking hand, her voice breaking as she breathed heavily, "Did I do something bad?-"
"Hey, don't pay attention to that-" I quietly say, my hands resting on her forearms, "Don't look at your hand, okay? Just look at me."
The girl did as I said, gasping, "I don't understand- what's going on?"
"Take deep breaths." I instruct gently, holding her arms, "I know nothing makes sense right now, but it'll all be okay. I'm going to help you."
The girl took deep breathes and started to calm down, as I looked at Alec, the both of us exchanging looks.
-
"Mom, hey-" I exhale deeply, slipping off my jacket after just getting back, putting it on my bed, noticing her at the desk in the corner of my room, looking through my sketch book, "What're you doing?"
She doesn't look away from the used pages, "Sorry- I don't even remember why I came in here, I just got distracted with your drawings- honey, these are outstanding."
"Don't give me too much credit." I walked over and came by her side, "I learned from the best, didn't I?"
"I was never as good as you." The pad of her finger gazed over the drawing of Jace I had drew the day I reunited with Clary, "This is your friend, yeah? The one that's locked in the City of Bones. How is he doing?"
"I haven't gone to see him." I honestly told her, "I haven't gotten the chance to- but I heard Clary saw him. I just- I trust that he's going to be back soon. He was never on Valentine's side- neither of us were."
"What did Valentine do to you on that ship?" She looked away from the drawings and at me, "I was worried, we never got around talking about that."
"What matters is that I'm here, and I'm okay." I told her, "Whatever he did- it's nothing to worry about."
She stared at me, expecting an answer other than that.
I shot her a look, then sigh deeply, "He mostly tortured Jace and I. He tried to convince us that his ways were right, and most of the time, had Jace go on missions to kidnap Downworlders for research because I refused to. The entire ship made me sick."
My mother gently shook her head, looking away, "Your father's a lunatic."
I inhale, "Then why were you with him?"
"He wasn't like this when I was with him." She confesses, "I wouldn't be able to explain where he lost his mind- because I honestly don't know. I haven't been able to figure it out myself."
"Whatever he did to me on that ship- I don't think it was worse than what he did to you for the past three years." I shook my head, looking down, feeling the anger in my veins, "I hate him so much."
"Alec did what he could to try and help find you and Jace." She looked at me, "Tell me about him."
I blink, "Alec?"
"Yeah." She nods, giving me a small smile, flipping the page of my sketch book, a drawing of Izzy revealing itself, "Tell me about him."
I start to smile, feeling the anger in my disappear as I looked away, a slight blush appearing on my cheeks.
"He's sweet- and caring. I mean- he comes off as a guy who follows all the rules, but he would destroy the very ground he stood on just to make something right. He's just- he's one of the best people I know." I admit, looking up at the ceiling, "I really like him."
"I can tell he truly cares for you." Her smile grew slightly wider, "I like him."
"Is that your way of saying you approve of my boyfriend?" I question, "Because- it does sound like it."
My mother's smile widened, "I've approved of him ever since the wedding."
"Oh yeah-" I went slightly red and looked down at my shoes, "I forgot you went to that-"
"I think he's good for you." She confessed, flipping the page, noticing the drawing of her, "I like how you are around him."
I softly smile, then looked down at the page, "That's one of my favorite drawings."
A silence grew between us, the smiles on our face remaining as we both admired the picture.
Then suddenly, I felt a rush through my body.
I didn't understand why it was suddenly happening now.
This type of rush had only ever happened to me when I was upset about something.
I wasn't upset right now.
But, maybe Valentine was right.
Love wouldn't stop me from killing the ones I loved. I had demon blood.
I stumble back quickly, my eyes widening as I let out a few grunts, trying to resist.
"Zee?" My mother rushed to my aid, "What's happening- what's wrong?"
"No- get away!" My back hits the wall, my hand clutching my head, my eyes going completely black.
She didn't know.
My mother stepped back, her eyes glued to me, as they were now wide at my appearance.
At my eyes.
I breathe heavily, my jaw clenching, the rush increasing through my veins.
Just when I thought my mother would leave me be, she crouched by my side, pulling me into her chest.
She rubbed my back, one hand over mine, "Does it hurt?"
"Valentine experimented on me with demon blood," I strain, beginning to pull away from her, "I could hurt you- how can you not think I'm a disgrace?-"
She shushed me, rubbing my back in comfort, her voice soothing as she cooed in my ear to calm me down, "You're okay- it's all going to be okay."
Within moments, the black disappeared from my eyes, as I looked up at her, my hands dropping from my head, panting, "I'm just like him."
"You're nothing like him." My mother shook her head, "I will always love you for who you are, not for what blood runs through your veins."
I wrapped my arms around her, holding her tight, in need of her comfort, "I love you-"
She held me, as we stayed on the ground, her rubbing my back.
"Mom-" I randomly blurt out, "I don't want to go to Idris."
She barely reacts, "I know."
My head turns towards her, "You know?"
"I never expected you to leave." She told me, "I knew you wouldn't leave Alec here- and I could tell he didn't want you to come."
"Mom," I inhale sharply, "I'm sorry."
"As long as you're happy," She softly smiled at me, "I'm happy."
-
"Oh, my God, Welkie!" Clary gasped when we were back in the Institute, the other fellow Shadowhunter huddled in the corner, eyes wide as he stared at the colleague he had killed.
I sigh deeply, looking at Alec from my crouched position over the dead body, "Classic possession hangover."
"Hole punched right through his chest." Lydia walked over to us, "Just like our mundane in the morgue."
Alec crouched next to me, eyeing the body, then looked straight ahead, "The demon's in the Institute."
"Activate emergency surveillance, Victor's unreachable." Lydia lead us through the Ops Center when Alec and I got up, "I've ordered the Institute be put on quarantine until we kill this thing."
"But- I don't get it." Clary said when we all started to gear up, "How did the demon get past the wards?"
"Same way it got in without setting off this." Isabelle's hand touched her demon necklace, "It must have some advanced cloaking ability- It hid in that dead body and let us do the rest."
"I didn't know demons could do that." Clary admits, grabbing a seraph blade.
"Until now, they couldn't." Alec spoke up, grabbing his quiver, "This new form of possession, cloaking ability, targeting the Institute, it's-"
"Valentine." I finished his sentence, grabbing the grips of my kindjals, "His experiments."
Clary nods, mentioning, "My mom told me how he was determined to create a super-being that could defeat the Clave."
I sigh, putting my kindjals in their scabbards, grabbing a seraph blade, "It's what he tried to do with Jace."
"Both victims had damage to the prefrontal cortex, the demon must be feeding on negative emotions." Isabelle told us as we stood around the table, "Anger, hate, rage- causing the host to violently act on those urges."
"So we continue to scan for venom and heat signatures, try to narrow down the host before it strikes again." Lydia pulled up the hologram of the Institute, "Alec, Clary, you check the living quarters. You two take the utility tunnels."
-
"Demon ichor." I inhaled sharply, "It must've come through here after the kill upstairs."
Isabelle looked at me, holding her blade, "So Idris, huh?"
I held my blade, my eyes falling onto her as I followed her through the tunnels, "Iz-"
"Are you actually gonna go?" Isabelle questioned, "Move back to Idris?"
"No-" I scoff, looking at her, "You think I'm just going to leave my parabatai behind?"
Isabelle softly smiled, her eyes scanning my expression, "How did your mom react when you told her?"
"The woman sees right through me- she was really understanding about it." I admit, "You think I should go?"
"Of course not." Isabelle confessed, as we turned the corner, her stopping, "No one you meet in Idris will ever have a stronger bond that you and I. I need you."
I gently smiled, "I'm not going anywhere, Iz."
"Come on." Isabelle nods in the direction we were heading, "We've got a demon to hunt."
-
I walked down the hall of the living space, the heels of my boots clicking against the ground with every footstep I took.
The demon had possessed Raj, and gotten to Lydia.
Alec had ran over just in time, and the black mist of the demon disappeared into the vents.
This demon was getting harder and harder to kill within every moment.
I sigh deeply, turning the corner, the first thing I laid eyes on making anxiety grow in my chest.
Alec was seated in the middle of the hall, his back against the wall, his hand drenched in blood, his eyes wide.
Classic possession hangover.
"Alec?" My tone came out panicked as I drop in front of him, my hands touching his arms to comfort him, "Oh my god, Alec-"
"What did I do?" Alec shudders, his eyes remaining wide as he looked at me, "Zee, what did I do?-"
My eyes shift from him, and to the trail of blood leading into the room he sat by.
I hesitantly got up, slowly making my way into the room.
And that's when I saw it.
My back pressed against the door, my eyes going wide as I felt like I could collapse any moment.
"No- no-" I fell to my knees, feeling the tears burn in my eyes, crawling over to my mother's lifeless body, "No- no, Mom-"
No matter how many times I called her name, this was real.
The hole was punched right through her chest.
The demon got to her.
But, her hand was stained with blood.
I inhale a shaky breath, reaching my palm out and closing her eyes, using every cell in my body to make sure I didn't cry.
Alec was stood in the door frame, staring at what he had down, his eyes wide with shock.
Then I heard a cry of my name and footsteps rushing towards the room, "Zee-"
Clary came into sight, tears streaming down her cheeks, then gasps when she sees my mother.
"The demon got my mom too-" Clary weakly cried out, and that's when I knew she ran in for my comfort, "The demon got to her-"
I push myself up, pulling her into my chest, holding her tight, rubbing her back, listening to her sobs and cries.
But I couldn't take my eyes off my mother.
-
"Oh, my God." Alec said, staring off the footage of him killing my mother after she had just killed Jocelyn, "Zee, I-"
I stare at the footage, my eyes going completely black, and this time I didn't fight it.
I held my palm up, stopping him from saying another word, "I have a demon to kill."
I spun around, walking away quickly, making my way to the training room.
I needed to blow off steam.
But, little did I know, the demon had made it's way into me.
Because when Alec came after me, and I faced him, it was like I was a completely different person.
There was a demonic touch to my voice, my eyes completely black and how upset I was right now, only fueled the demon more.
The rush I felt and let in only made it easier for the demon to overtake me.
I swung for Alec's chest, my hand out like a claw, ready to do what the demon had done to everyone else that had died today.
The demon had full control over me.
"Zee-" Alec dodged, pulling out his bow and arrow, aiming at me, "Please- snap out of this-"
I move, knocking the bow and arrow out of his hands, as he grabbed onto my arms, "Stop, please!"
"You're not even going to fight back?" I forcefully shove him away, "It's not like you gave my mother the choice."
Alec blinked, staring at me, remorse crossing his features, "I won't hurt you."
I growl, shoving him into the wall.
It seemed like my words that hit him hard, because he wasn't making any effort to fight back.
My fist wrapped around his neck, as he exhales, "Zee, please stop-"
"You killed my mother." I pulled my arm back to punch a hole, my voice turning completely demonic, "It's time for you to pay the price-"
"Zee, no!" I heard Izzy's gasp, and felt a sharp pain in shoulder, my movements halting.
My jaw clenches, as I tried to pull her away, her arms wrapping around me, pulling me away from Alec, a grunt leaving both our lips when she pulls the dagger out of my shoulder.
I grunt again, the demon escaping through the wound, my body feeling as if it was drained right there, the demon escaping through the vents before Alec or Isabelle could do anything about it.
I fell, my eyes rolling to the back of my head, my vision going back.
I felt myself fall into someone's arms, Alec's voice sounding distant, "No- please be okay, please-"
The sound of clanking filled my ears, as I could feel a hand running through my hair.
"Please- wake up." Isabelle's voice followed, feeling a small shake of my body.
My eyes slowly open, but barely, my vision blurry.
I felt myself being picked up, and that's when my eyes fell shut once more and I passed out.
-
I jolt up, my hand instantly going to my bandaged shoulder, feeling an aching feeling under it, my body feeling weak.
I was in the infirmary, Alec seated by the bed I was in, instantly looking up when I jolted.
"The demon-" I muster out, "The demon, is it gone?"
Alec gently shook his head, the look on his face screaming that a bunch of weight had been lifted off his shoulders after seeing me get up, "No- it's still in the Institute."
"We need to get to it." I pulled the blanket off myself, coming to the edge of the bed, noticing that I was in the tank top I had under my sweater, "We need to kill it."
"You need to rest." Alec stopped me, "The demon wound needs the time to heal."
I look away, grabbing my jacket that was on the side of the bed, slipping it on, "I'm fine."
"Zee-" Alec sat up, "No-"
"Alec, I said I'm fine." I snipped, putting on my shoes, getting up, walking away from him.
I find my kindjals, putting them in their scabbards, making my way through the Institute already.
"Zee?" Clary came to my side, "Why are you up?"
"I already told Alec I'm fine." I dismiss, continuing to walk, her by my side.
Alec caught up quickly and was at my other side, "Please, let me do this. You don't have to put yourself in danger- especially with your injury- please, just- not now."
Isabelle walked toward us, hiding away her face.
"Izzy, we need your help!" Alec called out, beginning to fill her in further on everything, "Margaret's-"
Isabelle's voice was demonic, as she made a move towards Alec, "Dead because of you."
Alec dodges quickly, as Isabelle turns her head, eyeing us all, her eyes black, growling.
"It's inside her." I pulled out one of my kindjals to fight with my none injured arm, Clary pulling out her seraph dagger, Alec pulling out his bow and quiver.
"It's still Izzy." Alec instructed, "Be careful where you aim."
Within minutes, Isabelle had the upper hand on me, knocking me to the ground along with Clary, Alec being the only one standing.
"Izzy, please stop!" Alec begged, wrapping his arms around her when we became unarmed, "Izzy-"
Isabelle growls, managing to pin him to the ground, "Always the favorite child, I'm done living in your shadow."
Alec exhales deeply, raising his voice lightly, "Izzy, if you're in there, please listen to me-"
"Nice try." Isabelle's lips turned into a venomous smile, as she was ready to kill Alec right there.
Clary got up, stabbing her dagger into Isabelle's back, pulling her off Alec.
She pulled the dagger out, the demon seeping out in a mist, this time remaining in the air as Isabelle fell.
I was quick, grabbing my dagger from the ground, my teeth gritting as I grunt, killing the demon, as it turned into nothingness.
"Izzy- Izzy, are you all right?" Clary fell next to Isabelle, shaking her unconscious body.
Alec was already next to his sister, "Izzy- please be okay."
I dropped my kindjal, rushing to my parabatai's side, "Iz-"
She gasps, her eyes barely opening as she sat up slowly, Alec grabbing onto her to support her.
She was in the same condition I was in hours ago.
At least I knew that soon she would be okay.
I got up, taking a few steps away from them.
I exhale deeply, turning around, taking a few steps further, there being a strong pain in my chest.
I had spent hours focusing on this demon, comforting Clary, getting injured and passed out, that I hadn't had time to actually grieve over my mother's dead.
As hard as I tried to keep what I felt held in.
It couldn't stop the tears that burned in my eyes.
Emotions cloud your judgment.
I should control my emotions.
I needed to control how I felt.
Things like this happen all the time.
People lose their loved ones.
It's a part of life.
No matter how many things I repeated in my mind, trying to make myself think that this was okay.
I still felt like I couldn't breathe.
I hadn't cried since the first week I got here. I hadn't actually broken down since I came to the Institute.
And I could feel like coming.
I turned, my eyes glued onto the ground.
It was now that everything that had happened was rushing back and was hitting me hard.
I felt Alec's hard stare of me, as he held his little sister, Clary seated by herself, her eyes glued to me also.
Simon ran in, rushing to Clary's side; his best friend, ready to comfort her for whatever had happened.
To everyone's surprise, Jace ran in, along with Aldertree following him.
It was like Jace knew I could break down any minute, because he started to slowly make his way over to me, not even bothering to ask what had happened while he was away, just knowing that it was something bad.
My hand touched my necklace, my fingertips glazing over the diamond on my mother's wedding ring, and that's when I broke.
I tried to hold back the grief, but I had burst into tears.
A tear broke free, as all the others followed in an unstoppable stream.
An involuntary whimper leaves my lips as my hand slapped over my mouth to stop it, as I felt myself begin to fall on my knees.
Alec looked stunned, deep regret and guilt threaded in his expression, knowing that this was the first time he had ever seen me cry, especially like this.
As more tears came, many more thoughts filled my mind.
All the walls I built through the past three years, the walls what I believed made me strong, completely collapsed.
The pain wouldn't go away.
Jace rushed over, catching me before I fell to my knees, his voice gentle, "Hey- hey- what happened?"
Despite him holding me up, I slipped from his embrace, letting out a sob, my body falling into a tremor.
Jace went down with me, pulling me tight to his chest, his chin resting on my head, being the comfort I needed.
I grip onto him with one arm, my other hand holding my necklace as I let out muffled cries into his chest, letting it all out.
authors note:
sorry to break your hearts by killing off margaret right after they had a moment :((
but wow best friend moment
but awh I'm actually crying
vote and comment loadssss