Lose Myself

By idahwrites

2.2M 63.6K 7.8K

WAS #2 in Romance. -- He's got a secret, she's got a secret. But is it the same secret? Amara A... More

Author's Note
Chapter One: A Change
Chapter Two: The Encounter
Chapter Three: The Project
Chapter Four: A Dark Past
Chapter Five: Schwarzer Regen
Chapter Six: Family Day
Chapter Seven: Discovery
Chapter Eight: Flashback (Emilie)
Chapter Nine: Return Home
Chapter Ten: Undercover
Chapter Eleven: Admission
Chapter Twelve: Flashback (Amara)
Chapter Thirteen: Take Care of Me
Chapter Fourteen: The Next Chapter
Chapter Fifteen: Friends
Chapter Sixteen Part One: Understanding
Chapter Sixteen Part Two: Bonding
Chapter Seventeen Part One: Spa Day
Chapter Seventeen Part Two: Family Night
Chapter Eighteen: Sunday Brunch
Chapter Nineteen: Love Me Right
Chapter Twenty: First Day
Chapter Twenty-One: Trouble
Chapter Twenty-Two: Teamwork
Chapter Twenty-Three: Interrogation
Chapter Twenty-Four Part One: Dark Knight
Chapter Twenty-Four Part Two: Angel in White
Chapter Twenty-Five: Stranger From the Past
Chapter Twenty-Six: My Fault
Chapter Twenty-Seven: Thank You
Chapter Twenty-Eight: Adventure with Me
Chapter Twenty-Nine Part One: Merry Merry Christmas
Chapter Twenty-Nine Part Two: Suspicion
Chapter Thirty: Extermination
Chapter Thirty-One: Closure
Chapter Thirty-Two: Happy New Year!
Chapter Thirty-Three: Informant
Chapter Thirty-Four: Distant
Chapter Thirty-Five: Brink
Chapter Thirty-Six: Bad Decisions
Thirty-Seven: Old Friend
Chapter Thirty-Eight: I'm Sorry
Chapter Thirty-Nine: I Love You
Chapter Forty: You Saved Me
Chapter Forty-One: Independence Day
Chapter Forty-Two: Sitter
Chapter Forty-Three: Back To The Future
Chapter Forty-Four: Nakey In The Lakey
Chapter Forty-Five: Take Me Away With You
Chapter Forty-Six: The Devil's Insurgence
Chapter Forty-Seven: Secret Home
Chapter Forty-Eight: Game Plan
Chapter Forty-Nine: Rogue
Chapter Fifty: Bump!
Chapter Fifty-One: Problems From the Past
Chapter Fifty-Two: Tough Love
Chapter Fifty-Three: Waddle
Chapter Fifty-Four: Friction
Chapter Fifty-Five: Hello Baby!
Chapter Fifty-Seven: This Is Us
Important Notice
Chapter Fifty-Eight: Massacre
Chapter Fifty-Nine: Me and You
Chapter Sixty: Squad
Interview: Dominic + Amara
Very Important Notice

Chapter Fifty-Six: Family Matters

16.3K 543 62
By idahwrites

*this chapter is kind of long, I kinda owe you don't I?

Donna

"Please! Si prega di dolcissima!" I had my hand clasped together bobbing up and down, he hates it when I beg. "Its not fair. It really isn't."

"Sit down, Donna." he grumbled still with his eyes glued to the stupid forms. I swallowed.

Looking elsewhere I whimpered, "I need to see them, pretty please! Amore, non fanno questo duro per me. Per favore."

"Fine." he barked, "Smetti subito."

I grinned from ear to ear and took my leave.

Claire

I pulled the robe tighter around me, it had gotten awfully cold lately and goosebumps were not a good look. I blew a hair from my nose, it was ticklish. As my vision was temporarily impaired I ran into one of my mother's closer friends.

"Oh," she steadied me, "Scusa, tesoro."

"No that's okay." I smiled. I was about to walk past but she tapped my shoulder quickly.

"Did you hear? Your father is declaring a temporary truce with your brother! I am abundant with joy! We can finally have them visit." she was smiling like it was the best thing to ever happen in her lifetime, I wouldn't blame her. Dominic's daughter would be the future of this family after all. Though the news surely took me by surprise.

"Really?" I turned to face her, "This is the first I'm hearing of it."

"Its true. I'm sure you'll be glad to see your brother again. And his wife, your friend."

I gave her a hug, "I am. Thank you for letting me know." She nodded before continuing up the stairs I had just descended from.

Dominic

"What a joke." I scoffed.

Amara came to stand beside me, hovering over the screen. "Hmm?"

She frowned. "He's kidding right?"

"My father doesn't play games."

The baby started crying again and she rushed off without a reply.

--

Amara

I'd come back from the gym and was glad Dominic was getting along well with the little thing, he was just too cute with a baby. Like all grown men are.

Ever since the weird truce Dominic's father put out we've been roaming the streets like crazy, gradually pissing him off I'm sure. Because of the truce the police were off our backs, the family was talking to us and Claire had visited twice already. I've been taking advantage of the situation and going to the gym for at least two hours daily to lose the baby fat, that sh-t is no joke.

Claire was visiting later today, this time she was bringing Abrielle. We were meant to hit up a cafe, not the violent kind of 'hit' but the get together type. I was always getting confused in conversations because of that.

Dominic - of course - volunteered to stay with the baby, it was like Leo didn't exist, his only friend was his daughter.

--

"Ah! You look so cute!" Abrielle squealed engulfing me in a hug, she was obviously doing it out of courtesy - the hug didn't last long - and she went for the baby straight afterward. I rolled my eyes and turned to find her stealing the child from Dominic's reluctant arms.

After both the girls had a turn of playing 'pass-the-baby' and Dominic making more rude comments about his sister, we left. We drove into town and parked, as soon as we got out of the car we were being photographed but it wasn't too big a deal. After getting seated the crowd kind of dissipated.

Claire swallowed her mocha, "We're having a homecoming party for Carmyne."

I shook my head swallowing my frappe, "Sorry?"

Abrielle sat up, "It's a great idea isn't it? It will be so much fun. And the poor child didn't get a baby shower."

I looked between the two, Claire obliviously drinking her coffee and Abrielle beaming at me. "Is that safe?"

Claire put her cup down, "You'll be there won't you? And so will Dominic."

I scoffed, "Thats not a good response."

"Please come, everyone wants to see you." Abrielle pulled the most pitiful face, you wouldn't even think she was as privileged as she is when giving her your money. 

"Okay." I accepted reluctantly, this was going to be news when Dominic found out.

--

Claire

I sprinkled glitter on the final table, this set-up was gorgeous and my mother had zero input in it. I may have gone too far to say she 'didn't deserve to set up their homecoming' but I was going to stop making her feel guilty soon, just not now. You never know, maybe she'll drive me out of the house next.

I trekked back to the house, the set-up was little further from the house than usual. I wanted the canopy of the trees as decoration and also so I could hang my little lights from the branches. Everyone was wrapping their presents, I may have gone too far but I bought a gold sleigh that was just like Santa's for everyone to distribute their presents into. Before they left, I'd have it brought out and presented to them - then we'd just move everything to the car. 

I also wanted to keep the sleigh for when Christmas came around.

--

I put the lighter down on the buffet table in foyer before opening the door, the guards out at the front gate had notified my mother just then that Dominic's car was driving in. I wasn't surprised to see the paranoid freak had the number plates removed, I started waving like a maniac from the double doors.

The car came to a stop just next to the garden bed beside me, I was guessing they didn't want a valet to park for them. The car wasn't in the way or anything so I guess we'd leave it.

"Welcome home!"

Dominic scoffed, looking inside the window briefly with the most unimpressed look on his face. Amara just grinned at me as they approached the door, she looked stunning with her floral maxi dress and the gorgeous child in her arms. It had occurred to me that every single woman within the gates of the estate would come running as soon as they arrived so I tried to sneak them in quietly.

Everyone had sat down a few minutes ago and everything was looking fresh and beautiful, very much as planned. I watched Amara's eyes grow with wonder as she observed the garden, as soon as the first person saw them coming the entire table went quiet.

"Ah, I love home." Dominic said sarcastically, I chose not to send him a glare for now. His attitude was rotten. I expected there to be tension when they arrived, I didn't think it would be this thick.

"Amara, you look gorgeous." my mother stood walking around, she smiled at the child in her arms, "And so does..." she looked up.

Amara smiled, "Carmyne."

"Isn't it such a cute name?" Abrielle smiled at her brother, they had both stood and walked over as well. The rest of the table didn't want Santo to be more angry than he was. He sat at the head of the table simply watching things unfold with the most trained poker face.

"May I?" my mother held out her arms, Amara looked to Dominic who nodded then she handed the child into her arms. The child fidgeted a bit but then settled, Leo looked over trying to see the little thing - I couldn't help but smile.

Dominic was the first to spot seats midway through the table, he led Amara to sit down and they allowed my mother to sit with the baby at the head of the table.

Dominic

I was hoping for Carmyne to cry so that we could get her as far away from my father as possible, she was after all a child he didn't approve of, she was not a boy so she wasn't his ideal next generation heir either. I rarely took my direction anywhere other than the front of the table, Amara made more conversation but she knew I'd be on high alert.

Its sad, having to feel this way in the place I grew up in.

The place I once called home.

"So, Dominic," my mother called for my attention as she let Claire have the baby, Claire was smiling broadly going back to her seat next to Leo. They sat across from us so I felt much more comfortable.

"Sì madre?" I looked to her.

"Where are you working now?"

I snorted, "I don't work." All eyes seemed to turn on me. Amara held back a laugh.

"I own a business." my eyes squinted as I looked at the entire table like the idiots they were. Its not new news. I took a swig of my drink as the awkwardness from my mother's attempted ice-breaker faded.

I hadn't noticed before but Alfie was here with his mother, they didn't often come to gatherings but they must've heard this was an exclusively family based gathering and had to make it. "Alex, I didn't know you'd be here." I smiled, this caught Amara's attention and she shot her a grin as well. Alex perked up and so did Alfie,  I looked to the kid, "Hey bud, you had a good day?"

"Heck yeah."

"What'd you do?" Amara joined.

He grinned ever wider if possible, "I got a girlfriend."

"Oh," my eyebrows shot up and I nudged Amara, "Are you jealous?" I asked loud enough for him to here.

"Don't make it obvious." Amara looked away.

The kid was clearly flattered, I was glad someone was having fun - his mother on the other hand seemed disapproving of our entertainment tactics.

"Who is your girlfriend?"

"Her name is Sophie."

Amara gasped, "How precious."

"So you've been hanging out with Sophie, what was you favourite part of the day?" I kept up the conversation, Alex and Alfie were the only people at the table I actually wanted to talk to.

"We went to get ice-cream at the park, then she had to go with her mom but she goes to my school!" he went on, "She has a puppy and mama promised I could get one too so they could be friends."

"That sounds like a hell of a relationship kid." I grinned reaching over the table to give him a high-five.

"Hey," I heard Claire exchanging Carmyne to Amara just next to me but the look my mother was pulling had me distracted. She looked almost pained to say something, but I wasn't about to start a confrontation with my mother. I was waiting for my father to do something so I could give him some words.

I don't often start fights, but the feeling of having something unsettled pisses me off.

Amara

"So you have a workout regimen?" the lady next to me was named Alana, she had been talking to me for the past ten minutes about my lifestyle choices. I understood she was trying to get into shape after her pregnancy but I honestly didn't find the possibility of spending the whole night giving lifestyle advice to a bunch of moms appealing. I like to think I still fit with the Claire slash Abrielle crowd.

Dominic however, was going back and forth having conversation with multiple people. He had no problem showing he was done with the conversation and wanted to talk to someone else, he even had things to talk about when he did too.

I suck at this.

My arms were getting a little tired, it felt as though no one wanted to take the baby anymore because Dominic and I seemed a little on edge with the family. Which wasn't a lie but someone could at least try to take her, I can't keep this position up much longer. The thought of going inside and putting her down did once cross my mind but then again, Dominic wouldn't leave the room after that.

This party was for the baby but I'll admit, it was a bit of a drag.

I was so glad to see the kids had started playing around, I couldn't help but go join them. Much more fun over there than here with the adults. 

I stood, "Excuse me, I'm gonna see what these little monsters are up to." I smiled at Alana before taking my leave. If that was too abrupt I wouldn't know, I wasn't listening as she spoke.

"Hey," I addressed the only kid I knew, which was Alfie.

He stopped running like a mad man and came over, "Hi. Do you wanna play with us?"

"Heck yeah I do." I grinned, the other kids came crowding around. 

"Wow, is that a baby?" one girl asked.

I nodded, "Sure is."

She smiled after hearing my answer, "You want to hold her?" I suggested in the sweetest voice I'd ever heard come out of my own mouth. She nodded eagerly then sat on the grass straight away, this was one well trained kid. I slowly handed her the baby and she got comfortable, it was so cute I couldn't stop staring.

"Cool," Alfie stole my attention, "So now we can play!" he started dragging me away.

"Don't worry, I'll watch her." the little girl smiled at me then at Carmyne. I can't believe I was trusting a 7 year-old with my child.

I start playing tip with the kids, they seemed really eager in always having me be in but I wasn't about to let that happen. I didn't have a moments rest and I was unsurprisingly having tons of fun. I was right about this being more fun than the adults.

Dominic

I watched Amara shrug off her shoes and continue playing with the kids, she was a barefoot grown woman who just had a child and couldn't care less. Not necessarily about the child, about the fact that the entire table was probably thinking how irresponsible and immature she was right now. I didn't care, she was having fun and the baby was okay. That's all that matters.

I was surprised the mothers at the table weren't praising her for keeping their pests under surveillance, guess some people can't see the positive in situations. Leo came to steal Amara's seat, he leaned closer.

"I would keep an eye on your father if I were you, he's been watching pretty damn close at Carmyne."

"The man has a death wish if he thinks he can get away with anything."

He sighed, "He's your father."

"I'm better trained." I reminded him.

"I also don't think you should leave your kid with a 7 year-old, just seems risky."

I stood, "I'll go over there then. You need to loosen up."

"You're telling me that." I heard him mutter as I made my way around the table to sit next to Laurie, she was Irene's kid.

"Hey Laurie." I sang plopping down on the grass next to her,  I crossed my legs watching the little girl admire my daughter.

"Salve." she grinned, I smiled back at her. 

I nodded towards Carmyne, "You like the baby?"

"Sì, I love babies." she nodded enthusiastically.

"I remember when you were a baby, you were so noisy." I chuckled.

"Mi dispiace." she whispered.

I sobered up, "Oh no, it's not your fault. All babies cry."

"Your baby doesn't."

"Well,"  I squinted, "She does sometimes. Its even worse when they're quiet babies because they cry even louder." I gestured with me arms. She chuckled.

"Sei Capo ubriaco?" she giggled.

"I don't drink alcohol." I replied, "I commend you for your bravery, not many people say things like that to a Capo."

"Oh scusa." she blushed.

I smiled brushing her hair, "You're too cute."

"You're a pervert." Leo commented sitting down on the other side of Laurie.

"Don't teach children bad words." I sent him a scowl, he only chuckled.

Leo threw his arms out, "Can I have a turn?" he smiled at Laurie. I shook my head as the little girl passed Carmyne over without asking questions. She was incredibly quiet around Leo, I think she has a crush on him. 

"Don't just cut her time short like that." I frowned at the all too giddy Leo.

He scoffed, "You'll be back soon anyways, she can have another turn then."

"You will?!" Alfie came bouncing towards us, he'd been walking before but hearing what Leo said pumped the kid full of energy again. Amara followed looking less than energised.

"He's only saying that." I looked at Leo.

"Oh." the kid huffed sitting in front of Leo and peeking his head to see Carmyne, who'd been sleeping the whole time.

"Of course we'll be back." Amara pat his back as she collapsed next them, "Though I'd have to recover first, you're a fast kid."

"Yeah, I know." Alfie started up again, "I have to train because I'll be going to the same school Uncle Leo and Uncle Dominic went to."

"What?" I didn't mean to have venom in my words but it was uncontrollable. Alfonso wasn't even living within the familia, he wasn't even involved. The kid should not be subjected to doing anything for this place.

Amara quit her acting tired and sat up, "Who told you that?" she looked beyond concerned and Leo had simply frozen his eyes on the kid. Laurie of course had no idea what was happening, but sensed the tension enough to get up and go to the other kids. Alfie was as confused as a child can get.

Amara pulled the kid into her lap.

"Alfie, who told you that?"

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