Lose Myself

Od idahwrites

2.2M 63.6K 7.8K

WAS #2 in Romance. -- He's got a secret, she's got a secret. But is it the same secret? Amara A... Více

Author's Note
Chapter One: A Change
Chapter Two: The Encounter
Chapter Three: The Project
Chapter Four: A Dark Past
Chapter Five: Schwarzer Regen
Chapter Six: Family Day
Chapter Seven: Discovery
Chapter Eight: Flashback (Emilie)
Chapter Nine: Return Home
Chapter Ten: Undercover
Chapter Eleven: Admission
Chapter Twelve: Flashback (Amara)
Chapter Thirteen: Take Care of Me
Chapter Fourteen: The Next Chapter
Chapter Fifteen: Friends
Chapter Sixteen Part One: Understanding
Chapter Sixteen Part Two: Bonding
Chapter Seventeen Part One: Spa Day
Chapter Seventeen Part Two: Family Night
Chapter Eighteen: Sunday Brunch
Chapter Nineteen: Love Me Right
Chapter Twenty: First Day
Chapter Twenty-One: Trouble
Chapter Twenty-Two: Teamwork
Chapter Twenty-Three: Interrogation
Chapter Twenty-Four Part One: Dark Knight
Chapter Twenty-Four Part Two: Angel in White
Chapter Twenty-Five: Stranger From the Past
Chapter Twenty-Six: My Fault
Chapter Twenty-Eight: Adventure with Me
Chapter Twenty-Nine Part One: Merry Merry Christmas
Chapter Twenty-Nine Part Two: Suspicion
Chapter Thirty: Extermination
Chapter Thirty-One: Closure
Chapter Thirty-Two: Happy New Year!
Chapter Thirty-Three: Informant
Chapter Thirty-Four: Distant
Chapter Thirty-Five: Brink
Chapter Thirty-Six: Bad Decisions
Thirty-Seven: Old Friend
Chapter Thirty-Eight: I'm Sorry
Chapter Thirty-Nine: I Love You
Chapter Forty: You Saved Me
Chapter Forty-One: Independence Day
Chapter Forty-Two: Sitter
Chapter Forty-Three: Back To The Future
Chapter Forty-Four: Nakey In The Lakey
Chapter Forty-Five: Take Me Away With You
Chapter Forty-Six: The Devil's Insurgence
Chapter Forty-Seven: Secret Home
Chapter Forty-Eight: Game Plan
Chapter Forty-Nine: Rogue
Chapter Fifty: Bump!
Chapter Fifty-One: Problems From the Past
Chapter Fifty-Two: Tough Love
Chapter Fifty-Three: Waddle
Chapter Fifty-Four: Friction
Chapter Fifty-Five: Hello Baby!
Chapter Fifty-Six: Family Matters
Chapter Fifty-Seven: This Is Us
Important Notice
Chapter Fifty-Eight: Massacre
Chapter Fifty-Nine: Me and You
Chapter Sixty: Squad
Interview: Dominic + Amara
Very Important Notice

Chapter Twenty-Seven: Thank You

30.6K 957 253
Od idahwrites


Dominic

"Mama," I frowned out the window, "Where is Claire taking Amara?"

"They're going shopping of course. What else do girls do nowadays." she replied, busy with her most recently purchased cookbook.

I shrugged off the feeling that they were hiding something from me, deciding it was none of my business and I shouldn't be too worried if it was only my sister and my fiancee. 

Amara

Claire and I were doing something very sneaky. We were getting tattoos.

I'd gotten a tattoo before, writing on my lower back that said 'made in germany' to remind me of the years I spent growing up in that country. I of course was originally half Scandinavian, half Cuban-American and was raised in Canada. I struggled to think of a tattoo to get and where to put it. Claire was getting a tattoo for her eldest brother that passed away, I remembered Dominic telling me about him. How it was Vince who was to blame.

I watched Claire get hers, she looked to be in a lot of pain. "What'll yours be?" the girl with piercings in her face and a tattoo gun brought me out of my thoughts.

I pretended to think, I didn't want to be shown any examples because I wanted it to be something that I thought of myself. I figured out where I wanted it to be first, just under my breast but more to the side. I'd always wanted one there, this one would be the one. 

After some serious thought, annoying the hell out of the tattoo artist and discussing facts about Dominic with his sister. I decided on a tattoo of his name and his birthday. Not too big and in print-cursive writing with a small outlined heart perfectly sitting beneath it.

Looking at it now it was kinda of smaller than I thought. Claire and I both stood in the full length mirror in the back of that tattoo parlour feeling accomplished, it was this day I decided I would get tattooed the names and birthdays of all my children. I've never felt this good after making such a decision, much more fulfilling than when I got the 'made in germany' tattoo. I smiled to myself.

Dominic wasn't going to be happy.

Dominic

The girls returned to the house without any shopping bags in tow, which seemed suspicious to me. I went to greet them at the door, as soon as I opened it Claire pushed past me - heading upstairs and leaving me with an anxious looking Amara.

"What have you two done?" I groaned tearing my gaze away from Claire's retreating figure. Amara shuffled. I watched her fiddle before she started biting her lip. I ignored the rising arousal and tried to focus on the situation at hand.

"Do you really want to know?"

"Yes," I sighed, "Please enlighten me."

"We should go for a walk." she smiled. My eyes narrowed but she continued smiling at me anyways. She looked awfully cute in the oversized jumper and that beanie. I'd never seen her wear ripped jeans before, she never dresses this casual – even for shopping. Makes me wonder even more what they actually did today.

"Okay," I shrugged, "What the lady wants, the lady gets."

"Yay." She giggled.

She waited outside the door as I went back for my shoes, I was hoping she'd actually live up to her silent promise and tell me what she did.

I stepped outside in a hoodie, faded ripped jeans and a pair of lumberjacks. She grabbed my hand and started practically dragging me along, I caught up with her excited pace.

"If you're so excited," I prodded, "Why don't you just tell me?"

"Stop prodding." She laughed.

Amara

We walked through the woods for a while, it was really pretty. There was flowers and a musky timber scent in the air. Of course Dominic would have a forest in his backyard that smelt like bath products and perfume.

"We're getting near to the end." He said in a playful warning tone.

"Cool," I replied, "I want to see what's at the end." He really wanted to get it out of me, but I wanted to properly thank him and then I'll show him the surprise.

I never thought I'd owe someone my life for a long time, finding out that I owed him my life this whole time? He meant more to me than he cared to admit. Maybe he wanted me to feel little for him because he couldn't return the favour, but I don't care. I will pour all my love into this, my love for the both of us.

We exited into a clearing, it was looking out onto the water. I saw boats in the distance and what looked to be city. It was beautiful, there was birds chirping and the soft sound of waves. The moment was almost unrealistic, it became very real when Dominic hugged me from behind.

"Are you going to tell me now principessa?" he purred into my ear.

"You know how I asked you last night about someone you do a lot for?" I let him rest his head next to mine.

"Mhm." He hummed.

"Well," I huffed. "Thank you." I felt it, tears trickling down my cheeks. I just have a lot to cry about don't I?

"Don't cry." He whispered.

I turned around wrapping my arms around his neck, I smiled up at him and he wore this blank expression. Wondering what I'll do next I bet. His gaze flicked over to my lips for a split second and I grinned, knowing he knew what I was about to do next.

I stood on my toes pulling his head down so our lips could meet, the kiss was soft and I could feel him trying not to deepen it but I wasn't having it. I opened my mouth, granting him entry and turning our soft kiss into a passionate one. I could feel my heartbeat racing, I was gradually becoming hotter and I was certain my panties were no longer dry. We pulled apart, surely because if we'd gone any longer we wouldn't be going back till late.

It took a little for me to regain my train of thought.

"I'm very grateful for what you do for me," I smiled – still with tears running down my face, "I wish I could do more but, I couldn't think of anything better."

"What did you do?" he was totally ready to hear the most awful thing, like I sold myself to buy him a solid gold Ferrari or something. I chuckled watching his expression.

"I got a tattoo."

"You did what?!" he was actually surprised, "Amara..."

"Why are you overreacting?" I huffed, "I already had one. One more doesn't hurt."

"What did you get?"

I lifted up the massive jumper I was wearing, to reveal the tattoo – still fresh – just under my lace bra. He bent to look at it better, he was soon wearing a defeated expression. Maybe because I'm totally beating him in the relationship game, how could he top a tattoo?

"It's permanent." I spoke, "So you can't do anything about it."

"I know that," he replied moving back so I could put my shirt down.

"Claire got one too." I blurted.

"What?" he hissed. Obviously wasn't happy about that, I get that Claire and I are on very different circumstances.

"My bad." I cringed turning around. I changed the topic, "This view is gorgeous." He blew out a breath. 

"And so are you." He whispered hugging me from behind again.

---

Dominic

I had taken off my hoodie leaving me with a plain tee and swapped out my ripped jeans for a comfy pair of track pants. Amara lay on top of me with no pants, picking out music and making a playlist. She'd taken them off because it was 'hot' and luckily for me the jumper she wore stopped mid-thigh.

"What's that for?"

"Workout." She replied, it was actually labelled 'sass' but I would let it pass. No need to start another argument.

I continued to plan a surprise for Amara. She'd really gotten to me with the tattoo thing. I was really trying to top it, I'd say I'm doing a pretty good job. She tapped the back of my phone, I lifted it to find her looking up at me. "Hm?" I hummed.

"Does this one sound good?"

She played it. It was totally girly, a lot of girl empowerment lyrics and no swearing. I wiggled my nose but confirmed anyway. "Yup. It's great."

She snorted, " 'Yup' huh?" she muttered turning back to her task.

She probably wasn't buying it. I didn't listen to a huge range of music and I'd grown up with only a classical range so I wasn't the best person to ask.

Amara

Dominic doesn't know a thing about music. I would add that to his file in my mental cabinet.

I clicked save on the Spotify window and closed the laptop lid, I laid back closing my eyes. When was the wedding?

I hadn't thought about it at all, like literally ever. The guy proposed and then it pretty much went downhill from there, I don't recall ever sitting down to actually think about it. Though I had no doubt in my mind – Donna had already thought it through many times. I bit my lip, what would I do?

Dominic shuffled, I ignored it. He had to stop moving if he wanted to be a quality pillow. If he kept moving like that I'd find myself another pillow. I huffed repositioning myself. Human pillows are so difficult to handle, but they're so warm.

I thought about my lack in experience of party planning, I suck at party planning. I have barely enough social experience to name more than five different types of alcoholic beverages. Pathetic for someone my age. I bit my lip.

Dominic moved again. I was tired. I opened my eyes to send a glare in his direction, he was busy pretending like he couldn't see me. I huffed moving again to get comfortable.

Did I even know any venues in Italy? I was sure Dominic could help me out but with his sad taste in music, I doubted he would have good taste in venues. If I went to him for advice, he'd tell me to just have it in a church somewhere. Which is so unoriginal. The man had no idea, I bet. I bit my lip trying to think of places I've seen pictures of or might've seen when I first came here.

Dominic shuffled again, this time he vibrated.

"What the f- " I started but didn't get to finish.

"Can you not do that?" he sounded strained.

"What? Am I too heavy?"

"Oh no, not that again," he sighed, "I meant the thing you're doing with your lips. Stop."

"It's just a bad habit." I glared at him.

"Bad habit." He breathed.

"Uh yeah." I eyed him.

He huffed sliding out of his sitting position, I was now simply sitting on his laying body. I crawled into a straddling position and placed the back of my palm on his face. He was keeping his eyes closed. His face was hot.

"Are you sick?" I asked.

"No."

"What's wrong with you?" I frowned leaning closer to his face. I felt something poke my stomach, I expected to look down and find his phone but I was very surprised to find his phone was not where I thought it was. Oh man. I had to hide the smile threatening to break out.

Was Dominic turned on.. by lip biting?

I would test this theory. I went ahead and laid on it anyway, causing him to open his eyes and find me very close.

"Amara," his breath hitched, "What are you doing?"

"I don't know." I bit my lip. His gaze flicked to my lips then focused back on my eyes. I didn't remove my gaze from his lips, which were perfect. His expression changed from confusion to the look on the face of a man with a conquest in mind. Oops.

He flipped me over so it was I on the bottom, which made me feel much less confident of what I was doing. He smirked watching the change of my own expression, I bit my lip again but only out of habit. He was making me nervous. He growled, a deep rumble emanating from his chest and knelt down bringing his lips to my neck. A shiver went down my spine.

He continued to trail kisses down my neck, stopping briefly between each one. I have to think this through, do I want this? Do I want to lose my virginity here and now? I let out an accidental whimper as Dominic kissed my collarbone. I - honest to god - couldn't stop. I didn't want to stop. My heart wanted love, my body wanted something else. It wanted him to take me.

I really did too.

I felt Dominic's hand trailing down from my neck to my waist, as if he wanted to memorise each crevice and stopping at my thigh. He hooked my thigh and lifted it so I would wrap around his waist. I felt his hand moving back up my thigh, taking my jumper with it and revealing my matching black lace panties. I felt the warmth of his body on the length of mine, he kept me warm as the jumper rode higher and higher.

I had my arms around his neck, I tried to move closer to his warmth. I stilled as his hand travelled back down, trailing my stomach all whilst kissing and biting my neck. He moved to face me, studying my face. His eyes closed a fraction leaving him watching me under hooded eyelids. He lightly graced the crotch of my panties with his fingertips and I knew  he could feel it. The thin fabric was soaked. I jumped a little and turned my gaze somewhere other than his face.

"Amara. Look at me." his voice was very husky, as if he hadn't spoken in a long time. I slowly turned to face him even though I knew my face was cherry red. "Are you okay?" he continued, "With this?"

I nodded silently then spoke, "Yes."

He looked at me for a little while longer, after he'd made sure I wasn't doubting myself he pulled his shirt off and reached for the drawer to grab a condom. My hand instantly shot out to stop him, I had morals.

"Uh." he was dumbfounded.

"You don't use condoms with me." I said removing my own top.

"You're okay with the risk?" he sounded surprised whilst he eyed my breasts, he hadn't heard that one before I'm sure.

"I'm aware of it." I confirmed.

"You wouldn't mind..." he was confused, his hand slowly retracting from where it reached. I put my hand on his cheek and smiled.

"I'd love to have your children Dominic." I smiled softly.

 A growl rumbled from his chest as he began kissing his way down my stomach, he straddled me now pulling my panties down. He quickly grew impatient then just decided to rip them off, to which I squealed followed by a laugh. My laugh didn't last very long as he brought his lips to mine. His hands like they had a mind of their own, trailed to my back and unclasped my bra. He moved his attention to my breast, throwing the bra onto the floor behind him and sucking softly on my nipples.

I couldn't help the moans and whimpers that escaped my throat and the groans and grumbles that Dominic made in return, they turned me on more than anything. After he was satisfied with the pinkness of my breasts, he moved his attention further down south. I'd never had anyone else down there before.

I felt his finger rubbing against my clit before he slid one finger in, I tensed. He kissed me all the way back up to my mouth, I relaxed a little more. He slid in the next one repeating the process again until there was three. At which he retracted in and out, preparation for the real thing but all too real itself.

I could feel his heartbeat as he hooked an arm around me, holding me close. He removed his fingers bringing them up to his mouth and sucking them clean, not once did his eyes leave my face. I probably looked mortified.

He was still in his track pants, whereas I was completely bare. I was anticipating the moment when his pants would come off. I moved off him so he could do so, sitting with my legs under me.

I watched with a heavy breath as Dominic shrugged his pants off along with his boxers, he sank back slowly with all the control only a lot of sit-ups could give you. I tried not to look swinging my legs back over his hips, accidentally brushing his boner.

"F-ck." he growled, jerking beneath me. I had to stop myself from smiling. 

I held my breasts with one arm and placed the other on his torso to give myself balance, then I allowed myself to look. Wow. I had nothing to compare him to, but I couldn't imagine he could be any bigger. 

"You can," he coughed, "Take a picture." I glared at the smirk on his face. I'd been staring.

I blew a stand of hair out of my face, when I looked back there was pure lust on his face. His abs were taunt with tension, suddenly I was overcome with shyness. Why did I think it was a good idea to even look? I still snuck another peek.

"If you keep looking at my cock with that stunned expression, I'm going to combust." he'd been watching me and now he was taking a real good look at my body, from my breasts and right down my stomach. He let out another growl before finally grabbing my arm and pulling me towards him.

Dominic Vitiello would be my first.


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