Hi friends, as promised, the weekly Friday chapter ♥️
I'm so obsessed with writing this story lol it's unhealthy but I'm ✨obsessed✨
Also I'm super obsessed with the new Giant Rooks album How Have You Been too 🥹♥️ it's so incredibly good it's like ... how ar e people allowed to be this good at making music? How is Fred legally allowed to have such a voice? It's insane and I love them I'm so insanely in love with their music
Soooo check it out if you got time 😌 it's worth it I promise
Will def be using the songs in this story too!
Anyways, enough talk, let's dive into this chapter ♥️ Monday I'll release the chapter that caused my downward spiral of insanity and then it continues for 4 chapter lol so I'm super excited for next week and I can't wait to hear your thoughts.
Thank you so much for being here ♥️ please don't forget to leave a vote! Might still release an extra chapter if I got enough so Lemme know you've read it by leaving a vote 😊
Maybe I'll see you sooner but I'll def see you on Monday. Enjoy!
Word count: 4000
~~
"...never have I ever been blindfolded during sex."
"For fuck's sake", Tyler sighed with a laugh as he drank again - once again the only one. They'd been going through several more questions after the one that revealed a bit more about Josh's not-so-great ex-boyfriend. They were kind of getting in to the fun of the game again, less thinking about the info Josh had shared with them, which is exactly what Josh had hoped for. He didn't want them to linger on his situation or the relationship he used to be in. He didn't want to lie, but he also wanted the night to be fun. He didn't want to make it about himself.
"Never have I ever been on a dating app." This time, Lucas was the only one who drank, which didn't happen a lot. "Wasn't a great success though", he chuckled. "Wouldn't recommend." "You were lucky to meet your man the old school way", Tyler smiled. "Yeah, in real life!" Lucas chuckled. "But I met you that way too", he smiled at Tyler. "Because of Pumbaa", Tyler smiled at the memory. "Lil doggo was a matchmaker. Can you imagine if your family didn't have Pumbaa? You would've never been at that beach. And if I didn't have anger management issues I wouldn't have been either", Tyler laughed. Steve shrugged. "Kind of hot when you get angry", he said. "Just very glad you don't turn violent towards people when you are", he chuckled. "Gosh, no, at least not to the people I love", Tyler said. "But I wouldn't say the same if someone else would mistreat one of my loved ones."
"In that case it just makes it even hotter", Lucas added. "Knowing you'd do that to protect the people you love", he hummed. "Stop supporting my anger management issues please", Tyler laughed. "Yeah we're just encouraging you right now", Steve laughed. "Did not mean to do so. We're gonna stop now."
"Never have I ever called someone the wrong name during sex."
"I do not have to drink now", Tyler said triumphantly. "'Cause I didn't accidentally call you the wrong name that first time. I was heavily thinking of Luke instead and I already drank to that", he chuckled. "You're right, you already did, won't make you drink again", Steve chuckled. "Never have I ever cheated on someone."
Steve, Lucas and Tyler did not drink. Lucas was about to hit the button, when Josh let out a soft sigh. "I don't- I don't know how to answer this", he muttered. "I just..." he trailed, then he took a sip. The other three were quiet.
"...wait you- you cheated on someone?" Tyler asked softly. "You- you're upset that someone cheated on you but you did the same?" He asked, as he felt like his heart had dropped when he saw Josh drink to the question. He thought he knew Josh, but he never thought he'd do something like that, and in a moment it felt like Josh was a stranger and he had no idea who he was.
"I- I don't know", Josh softly said. "My friends say I- I didn't, I didn't do it but I- I always felt guilty and I always h-hesitated and I... don't know", he mumbled softly.
Lucas was taken aback too, and so was Steve; they never expected Josh to say that. They also saw how Tyler's whole mood and posture changed at the unexpected news that they had just learned. But he couldn't possibly believe that Josh would do that, and especially for Tyler's sake because he saw how clearly his body reacted to it, he needed more than what Josh had just said.
"...Can you give us, like, some more context J?" Lucas asked, as gentle as ever. "What do you mean with you don't know? And that your friends say you haven't cheated but you say you have?" he added. "I- I mean, you don't have to answer that, but... I feel like you're not giving us all the information right now and it's hard to judge what to think if we don't know the full picture", he said. Josh knew Lucas was asking that to help Josh, to not just easily paint him off as a cheater who simply just cheated. He saw Tyler's reaction; it hurt, and he really didn't want him to think that badly about him. Josh wished he would've just not drank at all, but he couldn't go back now.
"Uhm..." Josh trailed as he moved the bar stool next to him a little, then sat down on it as he held his glass with both hands, looking at the liquid left inside. "Uh I- I just started studying at Wayne State", Josh started. "Right before my actual classes started, when I got to campus, there was this guy who I ran into a few times... Seemed nice", Josh said. "Tall guy, strong, pretty muscled. He wasn't in the first year, he was a few years older. Uhm... I didn't know anyone from the first year, but there was this first year party type thing that I went to because Colin thought maybe it'd help to make a friend or something", Josh told them.
"This guy, who I saw a few times before, was there; he and some friends sneaked in, or something. Brought alcohol, though most first years weren't over 21 yet so they weren't really supposed to, but he found me and we talked and I was happy to have a somewhat familiar face at the party, y'know? So... I drank with them, and I got drunk which was the first time I got really drunk, and uhm, we... made out", Josh said. "Still don't really know how I ended up there in that situation, but I did", he shrugged.
"Day after, he called me his boyfriend. I was confused 'cause I didn't know anything about that; when I kind of tried to figure out why he said so, he said that we had gotten together during that party. I assumed I couldn't remember because he got me pretty damn drunk that night prior... I wanted to break it off 'cause I didn't really know him, honestly not at all, and I didn't feel comfortable with it, 'cause I wanted to get to know him first because I didn't even really have romantic feelings for him at that point yet either... I mean, he looked nice, and he seemed nice, but that was it; I knew nothing about him", Josh said.
"Then I decided to break it off but when I met up with him to actually do so, he took me on a date or whatever and I kind of... chickened out", Josh said softly. "Didn't have the guts to do it... I didn't know how to tell him that I couldn't remember anything about getting together with him", Josh said. "I was still in this mindset of wanting to break it off, or I guess break up, because I truly wanted to do so 'cause I didn't know the guy... then my roommate and I started talking and getting to know each other. My roommate, being Fred", Josh said.
"We also had a few drinks, and we uh... kissed", Josh said. "...while technically being in a relationship with the other guy", he said softly. "But I was still so uneasy and conflicted and sometimes just... forgot, 'cause I never remembered saying yes, so I just... didn't feel like I was in a relationship either? And I still had this plan of breaking up 'cause the way that relationship started was so confusing and too much of a mess and I really didn't want it to be that way", Josh said.
"...tried breaking up again the day after, but I just couldn't do it", Josh shrugged. "So... I told him about the kiss and he wasn't happy that I cheated but he forgave me for it", Josh said.
"Wait, wait", Steve then interrupted him. "So he just... told you that you were in a relationship when you couldn't remember saying yes at all because he'd gotten you so drunk?" Steve asked. "And you didn't want to be with him, but your anxiety was making it too hard to tell him that?"
"Basically", Josh said. "And when that kiss happened, how many days were you technically in a relationship?" Steve asked. "Uhm... I... technically, almost two days", Josh said. "Okay yeah no spit the alcohol back out 'cause I don't call that cheating either", Steve said. "I agree with your friends. I'm sorry but if someone would get me so drunk I could barely remember what happened the night prior and they'd tell me we had gotten in a relationship, there's no way that relationship start would be valid. If I'd said yes when I was nearly black out drunk, that didn't count as a fucking yes", he said. "No way this guy could count that as a valid relationship at that moment", Steve said.
"But I didn't tell him that I- I didn't- that my yes didn't count", Josh said. "Yeah of course you didn't! You literally just started college, you know no one, you think you found a familiar face who you hope to trust, they get you so drunk that you can't remember most of the night before, then they call you their boyfriend because you said yes when heavily under the influence of alcohol. You said he was several years older, really tall, muscular and all that; that's intimidating as fuck if you just started your first year in college! And we know how severe your anxiety is. Of course you weren't gonna march up to a big bulky older guy to tell him no! You, my friend, did not cheat", Steve said. "That doesn't count. He put you in a spot he never should've been allowed to put you in in the first place. You didn't cheat", he added as he walked around the island and he wrapped his arms around Josh's neck from behind.
"You weren't in the wrong baby, you weren't", Steve said as he pressed a kiss on Josh's cheek firmly. "And we still love you just the same." Josh rested his hand on Steve's arm and he squeezed gently. "But- but there was... there was another situation", Josh said. "What was it?" Steve asked as he let go of Josh but he pulled the bar stool next to him out and sat down next to Josh, fully focusing on Josh as he gently moved some curls out of his face. Then his hand landed on Josh's, their fingers intertwining. "What was the other situation, love?" He asked.
Tyler reached out for Lucas, then he moved to the other side to stand next to him, opposite of Steve and Josh, and Lucas wrapped his arm around Tyler. Tyler hadn't said anything yet; he was processing, and he couldn't respond, not yet; he also still needed to know what other situation Josh was talking about. But he had hope in his heart, that what Steve said was right; he just needed to know what other situation Josh was talking about.
His eyes landed on Josh and Steve's hands, their fingers intertwined; he felt himself wishing that he would've been the one to respond so quickly, to be able to comfort Josh that way, but he wasn't. He was really glad that Steve had been able to, though; it was keeping Josh's anxiety manageable, instead of making him freak out while no one said anything about what he just told them.
"Uhm... It- it was with the same guy... I- we actually did end up dating 'cause I- I fell for him at some point", Josh said. "I was going to go to Muncie in Indiana with Fred for a weekend, but because of that kiss... he wasn't happy about me going there without discussing it with him first. I had already told Fred yes", Josh said. "We uh... kind of had a falling out, or an argument something like that... He told me he was done with me and never wanted to see me again", Josh said.
"And then a few days later, when I joined Fred to go visit his family and friends in Muncie, we uh... ended up having sex", Josh swallowed a bit difficultly. "...because I assumed that 'I never want to see you again, I'm done with you, get out of my face' meant that we were done, we were broken up, and I still had this... this crush on Fred that never became anything at that time because I was with the other guy. But me thinking he broke up with me, and Fred telling me he had a crush on me too... I know it- we moved too fast right then but... as I said, we ended up having sex because... well, to me, my boyfriend broke up with me, so I thought I wasn't cheating. ...don't know if I phrased that well; I didn't sleep with Fred as a rebound because he broke up. I did because I... genuinely was in love with him, and was under the impression that my ex-boyfriend broke up with me. 'Cause I thought that was what those words meant", Josh said. "Apparently, they didn't... when Fred and I came back he just acted like nothing happened and kissed me right next to Fred", Josh said.
"Had a bit of a fight with Fred about that too 'cause Fred thought I lied and used him to cheat on my boyfriend... I explained to him what happened and that I genuinely thought we broke up and I made a decision to choose for Fred but I... again, chickened out", Josh sighed softly.
"Didn't break up then, didn't know how", he said softly. "So... when I had sex with Fred I- I was technically still with my boyfriend 'cause I had misunderstood his words, I didn't- I thought they meant something different", Josh said softly.
"You didn't cheat", Steve said. "You really didn't, J. Absolutely not. If those are the words that he told you during that fight, then anyone would think they had been broken up with. Did he really use those words?" He asked. "Swear on my siblings' lives that he did", Josh said. "And I believe your word one hundred percent. You did not cheat baby, your friends are absolutely correct in that", Steve said as he hugged Josh tightly, and Josh hugged him tightly back, letting out a shaky sigh. "Thank you Steve", he softly said. "I- thank you."
"Yeah baby Steve's right, and your friends are too. If someone would tell me they're fucking done with me and never wanna see me again, that is absolutely equal to saying they're breaking up with me. If anyone ever asks you that question again, and these two instances are the only ones that happened, you absolutely tell them no 'cause you have not cheated", Lucas said. "No worries okay? Like Steve said, we love you just the same 'cause you didn't cheat", he added.
Josh was still being hugged by Steve, the side of his face resting against Steve's chest as he softly smiled at Lucas. "Thank you", he said. His eyes flicked to Tyler, who hadn't said anything still.
"...I'm gonna go for a smoke, do you wanna come with me?" Tyler asked Josh. Josh nodded, and Steve let go. Josh looked at him, to see if he was going with them. "I'm staying here, don't need one right now", Steve said as he grabbed the bottle and he refilled his glass. "Think we might get some snacks, what d'you say Luke?" He asked. "Sure thing", Lucas said.
Tyler walked around the island and he hooked his fingers around Josh's, leading him outside as the others stayed in the kitchen. He let go as they walked on to the balcony to light a cigarette, then he sat down on the couch and Josh carefully sat down next to him too.
"Uhm... Sorry", Tyler said. "If I made you feel like I... judged you. I didn't mean to", he said. "I was just... shocked? 'Cause I'd never think you'd be the person to do something like that", Tyler said. "And you didn't", he said as he reached for Josh's hand, gently running his thumb over his fingers as he looked at them. "What Steve said, and what Luke said, and your friends told you... They're all right. Your ex-boyfriend sounds like he was kind of shitty... he put you in really weird uncomfortable spots and made you feel like you cheated on him, but really J, you did not", Tyler said. "Learning about your kind-of-shitty ex-boyfriend is also hard 'cause you don't deserve to be with someone who doesn't treat you the way you deserve. Knowing how great you are, knowing he didn't respect that... that sucks", Tyler softly said. "So... yeah, uhm... I'm sorry if I made you feel bad", Tyler said.
"Sorry if I made you feel judged or prejudiced 'cause that was not my intention", Tyler said. "Dang, J, you shouldn't have drank to that. Gave me a heart attack", Tyler chuckled, and Josh let out a soft laugh too. "I'm sorry", he blushed. "I just... it's always made me unsure of whether I did or didn't and I- I don't wanna lie to you guys", he said. "Which I really appreciate", Tyler smiled softly as he gently squeezed Josh's hand. "Just... you try to give more context right away and I try not to have a heart attack before getting any context first", he said. "Deal", Josh chuckled. "C'mere", Tyler said as he opened his arms and he and Josh scooted closer to give each other a tight hug.
"Love you J", Tyler said softly. This time, Josh was the one to have the heart attack as he heard the words. He took a shaky breath as he slightly tightened his hug, which made Tyler do the same. "Love you too", Josh softly said. He then felt a kiss being pressed on his temple, and Josh felt like he died inside, especially now after those words Tyler just spoke. He was falling so hard for that man, and he had to pretend he wasn't.
"We good?" Tyler asked as they pulled back. "Of course", Josh smiled. Tyler gently squeezed his hand one more time, then he took a drag from his cigarette. "You still wanna stay the night?" Tyler smiled. "If you don't mind", Josh blushed. "Not at all", Tyler smiled warmly at him.
"Alright sweeties! Party's moving out here", Lucas said as he carried a tray with snacks, while Steve had the drinks. "I vote for truth or dare now."
"Sure, are we gonna make out?" Tyler asked. "Dunno, I'll ask Rich", Lucas shrugged as he put the snacks down and Steve turned on the fire in the center of the table. "You guys are so casual about this but it all makes sense now", Josh said with a soft laugh. "Oh yeah now you know we've done way more than just make out even without being in any relationships", Steve laughed. "You down for truth or dare or rather not? In that way? Wouldn't go much further than making out, by the way. No one's having sex", he chuckled, and Josh laughed softly, but it definitely made him blush. The alcohol was making it easier, and Josh was thankful.
"I uh- I think so yeah", Josh said. "Gotta know for sure baby", Lucas said. "And you know the drill; if at any point you change your mind, promise to speak up", he added. Josh nodded. "I- I will, if I change my mind", he said. "I'll call Richard", Lucas said. "Alright love", Steve said as he lit a cigarette and Lucas walked to the balustrade as he dialed his lover's number so the others could continue talking without having to be quiet, but Lucas didn't mind that they'd still be able to hear what he said, as he was way too comfortable with his soulmates to care about that.
"Hi Richard baby", they heard Lucas say. "Yeah we're having a lot of fun! We're still at Steve's apartment, yeah. Josh's here too! So it's us three and Josh. Mike's still with Myles", he said. "Yeah it's been great catching up with him. And the show was awesome. How was work?" They heard him ask.
"Oh that's great to hear baby. Proud of you. Were you about to head to bed? Alright, I won't keep you much longer. We're just playing a few drinking games, we're about to do truth or dare. Just wanted to call to ask if you're okay with us maybe kissing or making out? Nothing much more than that of course", they heard Lucas say. Josh was kind of mind blown by how Lucas even had the guts to ask his lover that, and so casually too; he couldn't really imagine being in that type of relationship, but the trust and love between them had to be absolutely rock solid or there was no way they could ever talk about or ask what they just said.
"Alright! Thanks baby. Miss you, love you to the moon, you know that hm?" They heard Lucas speak. "See you in a few days baby. I'll call you tomorrow. Love you! Good night", he said, then they ended the call.
"Rich's fine with it", Lucas smiled as he sat down next to Steve, grabbing a few snacks from the tray. "Perfect", Steve said. "J? Final answer?" Steve asked. And with final he didn't mean that Josh couldn't change his mind, but that they wanted to know for sure if Josh was down or not. They needed a clear answer on that.
"I- yeah let- let's- let's do it", Josh said. "Great! Let me break out the good ol' truth or dare app", he said. "J, want a refill?" Tyler asked. Josh nodded right away. He was gonna need as much liquid courage as he could get. As soon as Tyler gave him the refilled glass, he drank a few big gulps from it.
"Here we go. Let's start off slowly", Steve said.
~~
👀
👀👀👀👀
Next chap is surely gonna be something. 😌
What did you think of this one? Would love to hear!! Definitely like using things like these for them to get to know each other ♥️ I hope you enjoyed it!!
I'm so excited for what's coming in the next 4 chapters lol I'm so impatient! I'll be back soon with more. Thank you for being here, much love ♥️
Ps here's a current fave of the new album by giant rooks ♥️ it's called Under Your Wings 🦋