Hi friends! Here's a new update yay!
I wanna publish a chapter as a Christmas gift soon and that means it'll count as an extra chapter. I think you'll loooove the chapter I'm gonna publish on Christmas BUT I need you to vote on when!
⚠️ Please choose which of the two would work better for you! I know y'all are gonna be busy so choose the day that'll give you the most time to read the chapter ♥️ I can either upload the chapter on
1: Christmas Eve, Sunday dec 24 🎄
OR
2: Christmas Day, Monday dec 25 🎅🏻
(Because of the holidays I won't have time to write much then & originally I wouldn't be uploading a chapter then at all BUT I want to give you guys a Christmas gift and it'll be a special chapter and I think you'll love it soooo I really want to do this ♥️ if you choose Sunday, then no new chapter on Monday. If you choose Monday, no extra chapter on Sunday.
Thank you for voting when you want to get the special update!!
(You'll still be getting a new chapter this Friday too!)
Anyways! Here's today's chapter ♥️ I hope you'll enjoy it! Thank you for being here and thank you for all the reaction on Monday's chapter. It meant so much to me! I love reading your comments sm ♥️
Let's dive into this one. I hope you'll enjoy it! Can't wait to hear what you think and see your votes. They make my day. See you Friday! Much love ♥️
Word count: 4535
~~
Michael's current appartment didn't have a balcony, so Tyler, Lucas and Steve sat on a bench in the courtyard, exclusively available to people living in said apartment building.
"I- I don't know why I did it", Tyler softly said as he took a drag from his cigarette. "It's... I just- I feel like all I do is fail", he whispered. "Fail every fucking relationship I have. I- I don't want to fail again, I- I wanna be successful and be loved and appreciated and cherished by my partner and I figured that- that if it made him so unhappy knowing that you're my ex-boyfriends and he doesn't want me to be friends with you... I- I thought that I should choose for him", he softly said.
"Because I... I hoped he'd be my life parter y'know? And- and you always choose for your partner over anyone else... but it hurt so much", he sniffled a bit. "I thought it would make things better for us 'cause that would... would make him happy, but instead it just made everything that more miserable 'cause I was fucking heartbroken", Tyler said. "But I kept telling myself that this was how it was supposed to be... I- I know I'm an awful friend and-" Tyler was interrupted by Steve.
"No you're not", he shook his head. "You're not an awful friend. You're a hopeless romantic", he said, and Lucas hummed in agreement. "You want the perfect happily ever after. You don't want to be alone, you want to have a partner with you for life, someone who's perfect for you", he said. "And you're right, you should always choose your partner. But your partner shouldn't be making you choose, he shouldn't be giving you the feeling that you have no other choice", Lucas said. "And you're just... figuring out how to do that, have a partner you're genuinely happy with, without having to sacrifice your life or the people in it", he said.
"I- ...maybe, I- I guess", Tyler softly said. "I think you're right", he nodded softly. "I just feel fucking lonely no matter how many people I have around me, when I am single", he said. "Sounds so fucking desperate and weak but I just- I really- I really feel like I genuinely can't be alone", Tyler wiped his eyes.
"And I genuinely love him. I genuinely am in love with him. I just... find it so hard to figure out what to do now", he muttered. "'Cause what Jordan and Mike said... they were right", Tyler sighed softly as he ran a hand down his face. "Dave, he... He does make me feel insecure", he muttered. "Example... I have been working on my muscle growth quite a lot, or so I thought... I thought I was making progress", Tyler said. "And I felt proud of the growth, but when I asked Dave what he thought..." he trailed.
"What did he say?" Steve asked. Tyler didn't wanna say it, but he already started to give the example, so he had to finish it. "He said it wasn't too bad for someone who'd had an eating disorder", Tyler said softly.
"Ohhh I wanna snap his neck", Steve muttered under his breath, his hands turning to fists. Lucas reached behind Tyler to Steve, gently touching his arm. "He's still his boyfriend baby", Lucas softly warned, and Steve bit his lip, then nodded. "...right, sorry", he said. He cleared his throat.
"Uhm... what he said wasn't very... nice", Steve said. "Okay now you're being too kind", Lucas said.
Tyler let out a laugh. "Gosh, I don't even know why I'm laughing", he said. "You're tearing my boyfriend apart left and right and I'm laughing", he shook his head softly as he buried his face in his hands for a moment. "I just missed you and your weird and awkward way of saying things like that, I missed Lukey being the most mature one who keeps us in check, I miss you guys so much", Tyler said. "We're right here and we're not going away anymore Ty", Lucas said. "No matter how many voicemails you'll send us, we're not gonna stay away anymore", Steve gave him a slight, playful shove. "Please keep that promise", Tyler said. He reached into the inner pocket of his jacket, as he pulled two of the same items out.
"Please take them, and please never let me take those from you again", Tyler said as he gave both of them their access all areas passes back. "I've been holding on to these since you gave them back... to have something that was once yours with me", he said. "I don't wanna keep them myself anymore, I need you to have them", he said. "Like this picture you guys sent me..." he took the phone case off his phone and he showed them the Polaroid. "My loves forever", Tyler said softly as he looked at the picture, before he put the phone case back on.
"I'm putting it on and never taking it off again", Steve said as he hung the AAA-pass around his neck, and Lucas did the same. "You'll never get your hands on these ever again", Lucas smiled softly, which made Tyler smile too.
"Have you guys seen that my setlists suck?" Tyler asked. "...little bit", Steve said. "He asked me to stop singing about my exes", Tyler said. "...meaning that I only have like 20% left that I could sing I guess", Tyler sighed softly. "My songs, the ones that made me so successful... I can't play them anymore", he said.
"From today on, you can", Lucas said. "'Cause this is your career, Ty, and you can't risk that for anyone. From today on, you can sing the songs you want to sing. No more bad reviews about your setlist. You can play what you want to play and what your fans want to hear", he said.
"I can't, this whole setlist is set in stone. The lighting programs, the audio, all of it is done already", Tyler sighed. "Maybe", Steve said. "But Shap and Shane have been making sure to fully prepare that for your biggest songs too, and some of your own personal favorites", Steve said. "They're fully ready to change the setlist as soon as you give them the green light", he said.
"...You're kidding", Tyler softly said. "They have?" he asked. Lucas hummed. "This intervention wasn't just an impulsive decision", Lucas said. "We all planed this together. It was the only way we could think of to get you back", he said.
"I guess that worked", Tyler blushed. "...but please no more interventions 'cause I fucking hate those things", he said. "I'm just really glad that this time the outcome is positive 'cause I got you back", he said.
"And Dave seriously needs to get his shit together and change drastically or I'm gonna kick him out of your life for you", Steve said.
"I don't know how I'm ever gonna tell him about this", he said softly. "Or about why I went to Mike and came back demanding him to change", he said. "How am I supposed to face him in a few hours? In the middle of the night? How am I supposed to face him with this. It scares me", Tyler sighed softly. "I wish I didn't have to go and stay the night at my house with him on my own just so I could... I could confront him during the day", he said.
"...and I have a music shoot tomorrow planned too", he sighed. "Rehearsals... I am going on tour in two days. How am I supposed to do this", Tyler muttered.
//
As they got back upstairs in Michael's apartment, Tyler mentioned again how he was not looking forward to having to go to his house, how he wished he could stay away and go back tomorrow when the night was over.
"Why don't you stay here then", Michael said. "You, Steve, Luke; you can all spend the night here. Just... tell them it got so late that it was better to stay here or something. Or that we're not nearly done and we'll have to pull an all-nighter", Michael said. "Then you can sleep on it and maybe tomorrow your head will be clearer and you'll be less scared to confront him", Michael said.
Tyler looked at Steve and Lucas, who immediately let him know that they were absolutely down for that. Tyler was hesitant, but he nodded. "Thank you", he said to Mike as he got up and he gave him a tight hug. "You're really like the big brother I never had and I love you so much for that", he told him genuinely.
When the situation was calm and a lot better again than before and during the intervention, the other friends started to leave. They all hugged Tyler one by one, telling him how much they loved him, and Tyler told them the same but ten times more, 'cause he wanted them to know that no matter how big of an asshole he'd been to them; he loved and appreciated their love and concern so much; he never wanted to be an asshole to them. But they knew that. Still, Tyler wanted to make sure.
Jordan was last to leave, and he told Tyler that he was going to let the video director know that the shoot was canceled. Tyler wanted to have a video for a different song instead, but he didn't go through with that because David didn't want him to sing about an ex anymore. Tyler just knew that this video for this song that he didn't really want to do was forced because he had no other choice for a music video for a song - until now. It was hard for Tyler to go behind David's back like this, but he did realize that while he loved David and he supported and appreciated him; he had lost himself during that. He wanted to do anything for David but it became too literal. He couldn't risk his entire career and everything he built over the last ten years, to someone who didn't support that. Tyler's exes were a part of his life and his songs; two of them were part of his life and future forever. That was how it is. He had to get that back, he couldn't give that up for David.
It was just Lucas, Michael and Steve then; and Tyler of course. They sat on the couch, as it was much quieter with the four of them now. They had drinks, they sat together, and it was quiet for a bit. They just enjoyed the silence and each other's presence.
"I don't know how I could do that", Tyler said. "I will confront him and ask him to change, but... if he doesn't... how could I ever kick him out just like that? He- he'd lose so much", he said.
"What do you mean?" Steve asked. Tyler shrugged. "He's on tour with us constantly", he said. Lucas's eyes narrowed. "...he does not have a job?" He asked. Michael then sat up. "...Ty are you kidding", he softly said. "You said he worked remotely? Like, almost every day?" Michael said.
"Yeah well that was a lie", Tyler muttered. "He quit his job when he went on tour with me for the first time... and uhm... yeah", he muttered. "...and you've been his income", Lucas said softly. "He's financially dependent on you right now and you don't know how to kick him out without feeling guilty for leaving him with nothing", he said, as it all started to make sense. "...yeah", Tyler softly said.
"That's why he wants you just for himself", Steve then gasped softly. "By isolating you from us, your crew, friends and your family, he's trying to make you emotionally dependent on him so he can be financially dependent on you", he said.
"Ohhh my god this just got ten times worse", Michael mumbled.
"Okay uhm... does he still have a place?" Lucas asked. "He's mainly at my house but... yeah he still has a place", he said. "That you've been paying for?" Michael's jaw dropped. "...maybe", Tyler said. "Ohhh fucking hell", Michael whispered. "Okay, well, that's good! That means that if it would come to it... then you wouldn't be making him homeless", Lucas said. "Does he have family?" he asked. Tyler nodded. "Are they fairly well off?" he asked. "More than that, it feels like, at least the times where we visited them it felt like that", he said.
"Then his family can be his financial safety net", Lucas said. "Perfect. Uhm... Can't really believe I'm saying this but... maybe make sure that he won't lose that apartment any time soon..?" He said. "...you're asking Tyler to keep paying that for him?" Steve asked. "I know that sounds dumb as hell but if he doesn't and Dave loses that, then Tyler will never be able to kick him out if needed 'cause Tyler would never have the heart to make someone homeless", Lucas said. "So... yeah, I am", he said. "...part of the escape plan, if it ever comes to needing that", he said.
"I... guess you're right. You're right", Steve nodded. "This sucks but it is what it is."
"I can't believe there's now an escape plan from my boyfriend who I love", Tyler buried his face in his hands. "This is all a huge fucking mess", he muttered.
"It's just to be safe baby", Lucas gently rubbed his back. "Might never come to that point. I know you want to give him another chance and that's okay", he said. "Thank you", Tyler whispered, 'cause he felt like no one was really supporting him wanting to give David another chance. But when he felt Steve's hand in his and he gently squeezed; he knew he also had his support.
"Just make sure that he genuinely deserves the chance and you, Ty", Steve said. "Make sure that you don't have to change for him and cast people out of your life. Make sure that... that he won't tear you down and make you feel miserable about you being you", he said.
"I'll try my best", Tyler said softly.
//
Tyler's mind was running; it wasn't quiet, not for even a single moment. It was constantly filled with fear and anxiety and doubts, questions and scared thoughts. But there was a calmness in between it all; the security of Steve and Lucas sleeping next to him in bed, both holding him, bringing his fast heart rate down to a steady rhythm. They were his comfort, his security blanket; the warmth that Tyler had missed in the past few months, that Dave hadn't been able to fill. And because of that, Tyler was able to get a little bit of sleep.
//
In the morning, Lucas made his famous French toast for the four of them and Tyler didn't feel lonely. That didn't happen often, but now that he had his soulmates back in his life, a piece of his heart was filled and blossoming again. He was in love with them - not in a romantic way, but the way he fell for his soulmates every day again; they were everything to him and they gave him butterflies in the best platonic way possible. Seeing the muscles and the prominent veins in Steve's strong arms again; Lucas's gorgeous hair that he experimented so many different styles on; their tattoos, that matched his own, their smiles that lit up the entirety of Tyler's world. And he couldn't forget Michael; he was his brother, his family, his best friend. Tyler hated how rude and mean he could be, and how much he could hurt them sometimes. He hated that so much and he hoped that some day he could stop doing that.
He didn't read David's messages - after Tyler's message of saying he couldn't leave last night - until he was about to leave to go home. He was dreading it, but he had to. He had to confront him and he had to tell him what he needed from him.
Tyler hugged his best friend and his soulmates tighter than he had in a long time and he promised them he wouldn't push them out anymore. He wouldn't let David change his mind.
He kissed their faces and he told them he loved them and he promised to see them soon. Then, he left.
As he drove back home, Tyler's mind was again racing but he looked at the leaves on his hand and he knew Lucas was with him at every moment. So was Steve. He felt like he should get another tattoo, something drawn by Steve. He shook his head at himself; here he was, wanting a tattoo by his other soulmate while his boyfriend wanted him to remove them.
Before Tyler could change his mind, he called Steve's phone number. It was answered pretty much right away. "Hey baby, did you forget something?" Steve asked. "Hi love", Tyler said. "Uhm... not really, I just... I remember you doodling on like those paper coasters when we were on tour together and we were kind of drunk", Tyler said. "...yeah, I usually do that", Steve said. "What about it?" He asked.
"Can you doodle something for me? Something... goofy, or silly, or sweet, or something pretty... it can be anything honestly as long as it's not provocative", he said. "And then come with me to a tattoo shop so you can draw it on my other hand and I can get it tattooed?" He asked.
"...are you being serious?" Steve asked. "Do you really want that?" He asked. "It's more of a need than a want", Tyler said. "We have the matching tattoos but... but you didn't draw it", Tyler said. "I need something from you. Can you do that for me?" Tyler asked. "I- yes, yeah of course Ty, I'd be honored to", Steve said. Tyler smiled softly. "Okay", he said. "I can't wait to see what you come up with", he said. "Should it match Luke's?" Steve asked. "No, no I want something from you. Something that's genuinely you. I don't want them to match as long as it's both a doodle. So just lines that I can get tattooed in black", he said. "Okay Ty", Steve said, and Tyler could hear his smile. "Thank you for asking me this. That means so much", he said. "You mean so much to me", Tyler said. "You don't have to thank me for that, I just want you with me forever", Tyler smiled.
"I'm smiling so hard right now", Steve said. "Me too", Tyler let out a soft laugh. "I'm almost home so I'll talk to you later okay? I love you", he said. "I love you too Ty, bye baby", he said. "Bye love", Tyler smiled. They ended the call and just a minute later, Tyler pulled up to his house and he parked the car.
He got out and grabbed his backpack, then he took a deep breath. He walked up to the front door and he opened it, then took off his jacket and he put his backpack aside. He walked towards the living room, where he found David watching tv.
"Hi babe", Tyler said softly. "Look who decided to come back", David replied, not really looking up from the screen. Tyler felt his heart ache, and he swallowed a bit difficultly. "I need to talk to you", he said. "About?" David asked.
"Us", Tyler said. That made David look up. He narrowed his eyes, a bit suspiciously. "Look", Tyler sighed softly as he sat down on the chair, facing David. "I love you. I do, I love you. But I- I can't- I need Steve and Lucas back", Tyler said. "They are my best friends, they've had my back for years, they're part of my life and I can't block that out, I can't tell them not to be 'cause they mean the world to me", Tyler said. "I need them back, and I- I need you to be okay with that", Tyler said.
"Oh fuck's sake Ty", David sighed. "You finally told them you're done with them using you and you finally broke free from that and now you're crawling back? Why would you want to go back to that? You know it hurts me to see them take advantage of you, and it makes me so uncomfortable. You cant let them back in", he said.
"Well it's kind of too late for that", Tyler muttered. "...meaning?" David asked, eyes narrowing again. "...meaning I saw them last night and I gave them their passes back because I love them and I miss them", Tyler said. "What?! Tyler what the fuck?! They-" David started. "No, no you're wrong", Tyler said. "You can get angry but you're wrong. They don't use me. They don't take advantage of me. They don't! They care for me, they love me, they make me happy! And you know what? Even if they did take advantage of me, they never hurt me. They make me feel loved and cared about. They make me happy. They're my hype men, they support me to no end, their love for me knows no limits and I can't and I won't do life without them. I refuse that", Tyler said.
"And that's- that's not all I want to talk about", he said. "I- I want you to meet my family. I want to see my family", Tyler said. "They're important to me, I love them. My siblings, I miss them so much and I haven't seen my mom and dad in so long because I- we spent every holiday with your family. Why never with mine? And- and you- you make me feel bad about myself", Tyler said, and he felt tears in his eyes. "You make me feel insecure, and- and sometimes I feel like I'm back in that moment years ago where I actively struggled with my eating disorder because of what you say. You- you make me feel like I don't know how to present myself, how to act, how to look, you make me feel like you don't even really think I'm attractive, at least not when I don't put in a ton of effort. And you're limiting my work, my job - I can't ever mention any ex and those songs are what made me this big, what gained me the most fans! I need to play these songs or I'll have the worst downfall in the history of music. I can lose everything if I don't play the songs that people wanna hear. Not doing that is not an option. I have to do so or not only me but you will lose all of this too", Tyler said.
"I need you to change", he then said softly after a few moments of silence. "I need you to do so, or- or I can't..." he trailed. He shook his head softly.
"I just need you to change", Tyler whispered. "I love you, I do. I love you so much, but... but you're not making me feel the way my partner should", he sniffled. "I need you to support me, not change me. And I know that sounds stupid as I'm literally asking you to change for me, but I... it's either that or- or I can't do it", he softly said.
//
That evening, Tyler drove to rehearsals. A few hours earlier than planned at first, as the music video shoot was canceled and they had more time to rehearse now. As he got there, he was surprised to see Steve and Lucas too. "What are you doing here?" Tyler smiled softly. Steve shrugged. "We're staying in Columbus until you're going on tour", he smiled and Lucas nodded in agreement. Tyler pulled them both in a hug. "Thank you", he smiled. "I love you."
"How did it go?" Lucas asked. "Eh... I think it went okay", he said. "At least Dave said he's gonna try to... be okay with things, he's gonna try to change", he said. "So... now I just gotta wait and see if that's gonna happen", he said. "I hope so", Steve said. "I really do too", Lucas replied. "He didn't come to the rehearsals I see?" He asked. "No, no he needed some time alone", Tyler said. "I guess to process everything 'cause I kinda dropped a bomb on him", he said.
"I understand that", Steve said. "Hearing that would definitely need some processing time."
"Ty! Ty come over here!" Shap yelled from afar. "We have a full list of songs we prepared that you can choose from!" He said excitedly, and it made Tyler smile.
"Go on, go change your setlist", Lucas smiled. "We'll still be here when you're done. Won't go anywhere."
"I love you", Tyler pecked their cheeks. "Forever!" He said as he jogged towards Shane and Shap.
~~
Awww yeeeeahhh another chapter done!!
Ty is finally realizing his value! He's adjusting the setlist because he wants to & he officially has his soulmates back ♥️ I can't wait to hear what you thought of this chapter!!
Next one will be a concert chapter too!! And I'm so excited for it. I'll publish on Friday!!
If you haven't voted for the date you want to receive the Christmas gift bonus chapter yet, you can still do so!! Please do, I'd appreciate that so much ♥️
Christmas Eve Sunday, dec 24
OR
Christmas Day Monday, dec 25
I'll see you Friday!! Much love!! ♥️♥️