Hi friends! Quick update before I gotta work again. Thank you for all the comments on last chapter! Please don't forget your votes on this chapter 'cause it helps me so so much! Thank you for being here, I truly hope you'll enjoy this chapter! Be back Friday with another one. All my love!
Big chapter today!!
Word count: 6182
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The next day, Michael drove his own car to the venue instead of getting picked up by Jordan, because he gave Steve and Lucas a ride too. They met up with Tyler at the venue - no slow morning where Steve and Luke made breakfast for Tyler because they wanted him to eat well and not stress before the big show. Instead, Tyler was the one who'd made David breakfast. He didn't mind; David hadn't been over that often yet. It didn't feel yet like his place too, while for Steve and Luke it always did. But then again, Steve and Luke never needed permission for that; they just made Tyler's home their home too. Everything seemed to be easier with them, but Tyler told himself that that was also because they'd had that bond for a long time now, and that's just how they worked. With David, it was new.
Still, Tyler missed being treated to a nice breakfast on the day of a big show in Columbus like this, cuddled by his soulmates and given so much enthusiastic encouragement. David wasn't being mean or anything, but his comments and compliments were a lot more timid and it didn't feel the same.
Tyler told himself to get over that though; he was with David, that was a fact. New relationships always brought new things they had to figure out and get through. It wasn't easy as if everything was on autopilot with Austin or William either. Steve and Lucas had been exceptions. His soulmates. Maybe his lover wasn't supposed to feel like that right away.
"Hi", Tyler smiled, a little uneasy, at Steve and Lucas. He both gave them a one-armed hug, and Lucas quirked his eyebrow at Steve right after. Steve gave a short shrug, and the feeling in his chest didn't feel very positive. Not positive at all, actually.
As Tyler was called by Jordan for something, Steve found Lucas again. "What was that?" Lucas asked. "I don't know but I don't like it very much", Steve sighed softly. "He never haphazardly hugs us like that", he said. "And that was the weakest, shortest hug I've ever gotten from him. He's such a tight hugger, he didn't even really look at me before", Lucas said. "He feels off." "I know", Steve said softly. "Maybe I said something wrong", he said. "Why would Ty do that to me too then, if you'd done so? I don't believe it's you. It's gotta be something else", Lucas said.
The rest of the day leading up to the show, Tyler felt jealousy in his chest when he saw Steve and Lucas cuddle, hug each other, hold hands, lie on the couch or laugh together. He felt a distance between them and him, and he knew it wasn't because of them. It was because of him, because of Tyler, being weird and awkward and strange because his boyfriend asked him to be less affectionate towards them 'cause it made him uncomfortable. Tyler understood that and wanted to respect that, but doing so without telling Steve and Lucas first was ten times harder and more awkward than Tyler imagined.
He didn't know how to bring it up to them either, so... he just didn't.
The show took Tyler's mind off of things for a while, until he sang Steve's song. Obviously he couldn't be distracted from his crush on Steve while singing about his crush on Steve. Now that was distracting him from the gigantic crowd in front of him, which made it harder too.
But he got through it, and Tyler didn't know how to feel as he got off stage. He had seen David sit up front, but instead of Steve and Lucas being next to him they were further back. Tyler understood why; not because they wanted to be away from David, but because he'd seen Steve have a moment of struggle as he sang the songs, and Lucas comforted him. His heart was heavy; he wished he could comfort Steve. And he guessed Steve had told and talked about it with Lucas; it certainly very much looked that way. Tyler wasn't angry about that or anything. He just wished he wouldn't need to. If he'd just told Steve sooner... if he'd only gotten another chance with him. All of that wouldn't have happened.
He hugged David and kissed him, then just... stood in front of Steve and Lucas. Steve gave him a questioning, but also slightly disappointed look, asking if there was gonna be more; Tyler just stood there, shifting from one foot to the other as he plucked at his arm with his fingernails. He saw the sadness in Steve's eyes grow bigger. "You did awesome, Ty. I'm proud of you", Steve said, the sad tone also evident in his voice. "...I'm gonna go for a smoke", he added as he turned around and left. Tyler wanted to go after him but David was right next to him. He couldn't.
"He's right, you did", Lucas smiled, a little forced. "I'm proud of you as well. This album is gonna be huge for you Ty. You and Steve made art", he said. "I'll go catch up with Steve."
He stepped closer and he pulled Tyler close as he pressed a kiss on his temple. "I love you", Lucas said.
Tyler's heart was heavy but he didn't say it back. "Thank you", he softly said. That's when Lucas knew something was truly going on, he just didn't know what. He let go of Tyler and he walked away, his mind overflowing with thoughts of what could've been going on.
Tyler stood there, hearing David say how that last action from Lucas made him uncomfortable but he also wasn't really listening because his thoughts were fully on his soulmates at the moment.
"Ty? Cards have been handed out. You gotta get ready for that meet and greet fast", Jordan then interrupted them both. Tyler was glad that he did. "Right, I'll- I'll go get ready", he nodded.
//
They traveled to New York the day after for the next show, but Tyler wasn't in the same car as Steve and Lucas again. Plus, since David was joining them, he was spending his nights with him instead of his best friends.
They saw each other at the lounge of the hotel and the venue, but that was with other people. They had no moment to just the three of them, and Tyler's heart hurt. He missed them so much; they were right there but they were so far away.
But Tyler didn't want to tell David to get over it, 'cause Tyler didn't even know how he would feel about David being so super affectionate with one of his exes, let alone two of them. It made him want to respect his lover's wish and that's what he did.
But having Steve and Lucas with them for those first two concert dates weren't nearly what Tyler expected they'd be. He expected them to be the most fun they'd had in a while, but instead he barely saw his soulmates throughout the day. And none of those moments were just the three of them. He didn't know how to handle it but he did know that he wished things were different. He never wanted it to be like that.
Tyler did another meet and greet after the New York show by having his crew hand out specific cards to random fans, whether they had general admission floor tickets or seated balcony tickets, and they could use those to meet Tyler.
He put up his biggest smile that he could, but realized it wasn't the same as it had been in situations before. He also couldn't bring himself to be very energetic; he kept it low key, but his fans didn't seem to mind that at all. Because of that, they were calm too.
The next day, Tyler said goodbye to Steve and Lucas. He hadn't touched them all day yesterday, so when it came to their goodbye he made sure to hug them both tightly. "I love you", Tyler whispered to both Steve and Lucas. They both returned it, softly. They didn't know why they were whispering but if Tyler was doing it then so would they, regardless of the reason.
Lucas said they were both gonna miss Tyler a lot. He said they'd have to get together as soon as he was back from tour. Steve asked him to be safe and basically just not die; to get back in one piece. Tyler wanted to hug them a hundred times more, he wanted to kiss their faces and squeeze their hands and tell them how much he loved them a hundred times, but he didn't. He had to fight everything inside himself to just let them leave.
David was excited for the tour to come, but to Tyler it was bittersweet.
//
"We're really here huh", Ashley smiled softly as she slowly turned around to see the whole arena. "I can't believe they let me come", she said. "Well they just had no other choice", Josh smiled.
The room was gigantic and they were on one of the balconies, but at least they had a great view. Plus, Josh had Ashley with him, which made it another ten times better. And he couldn't forget about Fred. He was his rock.
They waited impatiently for Tyler to start. They got some drinks and a snack and - again - impatiently waited some more; there was no support act because Tyler wanted to do this on his own. This album was just him, all alone. That's what he felt like he needed to do; this show was just him. Okay, he'd talked to his friends about the songs and made some minor changes with them, Steve produced a few songs, but besides that, this was Tyler. And now, Tyler was playing in front of tens of thousands of people all on his own. It was only the third night of this tour, and he knew that it wasn't odd that he wasn't used to it yet, but he wondered if he ever would. 'Cause this genuinely felt insane.
When the lights went down and the intro started, Josh's heartrate sped up immediately and they cheered as loudly as they could at the top of their lungs. Josh couldn't even sit for a second; he felt like he had to stand. Luckily most people at the concert that had seats felt the same.
//
Tyler held the CD version of his album in his hand. "It's... weird", he said. "It's not weird", Jordan replied. "No it is. It's me, right there. It's my handwriting right there. Why did I think this was a good idea?" Tyler asked.
"Because this is your album! You and Brandon did perfect making an album that's you with you on the front and your handwriting as typography. It's much more raw and like... I love albums that are designed perfectly to a T but this feels much more personal to you instead of a story that you're trying to tell. I think it's great. Next album you can go to town with the design but I think this album needs this", Jordan said.
"I agree. If this album would be super upbeat and about a story or something less personal to you then this would make less sense. But this is, together with your first album, probably the purest thing you've released. This wouldn't have made sense for Astronaut, but it does for December. You can't take it back anymore anyways so you might as well just go with it", Mark said.
Tyler let out a sigh as he tossed the cd back on the coffee table. "I don't know if I agree", he said. But he just didn't like looking at himself. Maybe that was the issue he had with it.
//
Tyler took a few deep breaths, he gave David a kiss, before he walked up on the pitch black stage. Only when the lights went on, they saw that Tyler was on the stage. The cheering grew even louder as soon as they saw him, and it gave Tyler chills all over his body. He smiled softly, then he turned 90 degrees as he started to play the intro on the keyboard.
Josh hugged Fred tightly, the tears already rolling down his cheek. He wrapped his arm around Ashley who was so happy that she could share that moment with her brother.
"Night out and no moving, life under streetlight brooding", Tyler started to sing. "Low sound, oh how soothing. Summer caught with red-hand looting. All this talk of missing could make a man wanna die if he was ever alive", he sang.
"Oh no that line is gonna kill me", Josh muttered.
"No crown, no new king. Dread in a worn eye, proving old hearts fit new things. Just never been good at losing", Tyler continued. "All this feeble wishing could make a kid wanna cry if he was ever alive."
"It's getting harder to remember how a good time used to feel when the pit of cracked November is always tricking out my feet. This is something monumental, a stain on a linen sheet, so I pray roll, roll December. But the waves are whipping me", Tyler continued.
"That line too", Ashley said. "'It's getting harder to remember how a good time used to feel' is too real sometimes", she said. "It is", Josh said as he hugged her tightly, kissing her temple. "It is."
"Right thought, but wrong feeling. Cards cut and moonlight dealing. White chalk, hope peeling. Dead earth and a diamond ceiling. All this empty living could make a kid wanna cry f he was ever alive."
"If she's bored, engage her; a little chore can sometimes save you. All this almless kicking could make a man wanna die if he was ever alive. It's getting harder to remember how a good time used to feel, when the pit of cracked November is always tricking out my feet. This is something monumental, a stain on a linen sheet, so I pray roll, roll December. But the waves are whipping me", Tyler sang.
The first song ended and the crowd cheered loudly. Tyler grabbed his guitar and he put it around his neck as he walked to the microphone at the front center of the stage. He started to play the intro. "Los Angeles!" He yelled, then the crowd cheered even louder.
"So doll, erase those worried eyes. Lay your trouble out beside me and sit, and so I'll sympathise, leave it feeding there inside me. Oh, take it out on me; I'm in love with the feeling. Oh, take it out on me, maybe hooked on the healing. Oh, take it out on me. I'm in love with the feeling of being used", Tyler sang.
This song was definitely inspired by how he wasn't letting go of William because he was scared and felt like he'd rather be used and hurt than without him. Writing songs about that was something that made it so much easier for Tyler to cope with.
"Dig deep where you're afraid to go. Pick the stitches and unbind me, then keep that pain I need to know. Every cut you feel, defines me. Oh, take it out on me, I'm in love with the feeling", he continued with the chorus after he sang the second verse.
"Tell me, tell me, tell me what is going wrong. Help me, help me, now the nights are getting long", he sang. "Sing it with me!" He yelled, as the lyrics was on the screen behind him. "Tell me, tell me, tell me what is going wrong. Help me, help me, now the nights are getting long", the crowd and Tyler sang together.
"Oh take it out on me, now the nights are getting long!" Josh, Fred and Ashley sang along. Josh wondered what made Tyler write this song, and he wished he could have another deep conversation with him about it. The few times Tyler told Josh about songs were some of his favorite moments and he'd do anything to experience another one of those again.
As the song was over, Tyler smiled as he caught his breath. He gave his guitar to one of the guys from his crew and he grabbed his microphone.
"Hi", he said, and the applause and cheering followed. "Man, you guys give me chills", Tyler chuckled. "In a really great way."
He then walked down the steps to the catwalk in the middle of the stage that extended out into the crowd. At the end, a piano appeared.
"So... a while ago I met this person, that was... not great", Tyler said. "They weren't great. They were... bad, honestly", Tyler said with a soft laugh as he walked. "Oftentimes, you don't realize that until way after. That's what happened in this case too. I didn't see what was wrong with it until I stopped talking to this person. ...and then I wrote a song about it", he chuckled.
He sat down behind the piano. "This song is called Oscar Winning Tears", he said. He sat down and he started to play the intro of the song on the piano.
"Ladies and gentlemen, I'm gonna tell you about one of the many fools, name is irrelevant, height is irrelevant, they were a one out of ten, I wish that I knew it then, I'm still recovering", he sang.
"Truly, I'm vulnerable. I love a sentiment. Quickly, I opened up, I learned my leson then. Thought I was safe again, thought they were innocent, I was so wrong", Tyler continued.
"I can't deny, I was stuck in a daze, a terrible phase. You were convincing, though. Very believable, the role that you played", he continued.
"So I'll take this front row seat, and baby, baby, you can go ahead, cry those Oscar-winning tears. Popcorn and I scream; baby, baby you can go ahead, cry those Oscar-winning tears", Tyler sang.
"This one is so vibey, I love it", Fred smiled. "Tyler singing about people he dislikes is my new favorite thing", Josh giggled.
"Oh what a tragedy. It didn't have to be. Look how you talk to me, cursing and blasphemy, cinematography, get this on camera please, or no one's gon' believe this here. I can't deny, I thought you were the best, but you had a plan. What're you lying for? What're you crying for? You did it again", he continued, then he sang the chorus again.
"You can miss me with the nonsense, I can see right through your tears, baby", he sang. "Nine o'clock entertainment, oh man, I wish I could tape it. Sit down, no tissues, no string section, no tiny violin. For the last time, I'm your audience. I'll take this front row seat, and baby, baby you can go ahead, cry those- baby, would you really go ahead? Would you go ahead and just cry, cry, cry", Tyler sang.
"Cry those Oscar-winning tears", he sang, his voice strong and powerful and higher than before; it was giving Josh chills. He could listen to Tyler sing like this forever. Then, he stopped singing.
"And after their Oscar-winning performance, I left the room and never saw them again", Tyler spoke into the mic - just in a talking matter. Then the lights went out and the crowd cheered as the song was over. "That's gonna be one of my favorites for sure", Fred smiled widely. "I'm gonna love this whole album so hard", Josh sighed.
Tyler sang the next song, called Don't Want To Feel It All.
"You said your mind was changing. I wasn't listening up here in my daydream. My love is unchanging, I've just got problems that need rearranging. I don't wanna feel it all, but know what fuels it. No, I don't wanna feel it all, but don't wanna lose it", he sang.
"Winter is taking ages, this talking never helped the pain when the wave hits. Darling, I can't explain it; sometimes this city hits so low when it's raining", he continued. "I don't wanna feel it all, but know what fuels it. I don't wanna feel it all, but don't wanna lose it."
"No I'm not gonna break your heart, but I might use it. No I'm not gonna break your heart or even bruise it."
Then the next song.
"I overthink on my thinking, thinking this way for you. I overdream every dream, my love, when I dream about you. I don't know what to feel anymore, feeling all this for you. I don't know what it means anymore if you mean that much to me", Tyler sang. This was another song that he'd written about Steve a while ago. Tyler didn't know if Steve knew that, but he thought he probably did.
"No one plans for an accident, and I'm sure that I'm unprepared. No one plans for an accident, though I know, I know I did", he continued.
"If I could make it right, I'd make it right now. If I could make it right, oh I'd make it right now. I know I have to leave, but it hurts so much, just knowing that my love might never be enough", Tyler sang. He wrote this after he'd broken up with Steve and never finished it, but recently he finally did.
"I make no sense of these numbers counting my love for you. I stay awake and I wonder how I could tear away your blues. Oh I know that i'm under and I'll never get over you. Every word is like thunder, every silence leaves a bruise", he sang.
"No one plans for an accident, and I'm sure that I'm unprepared. No one plans for an accident, though I know, I know I did", he continued.
"If I could make it right, I'd make it right now. If I could make it right, oh I'd make it right now. I know I have to leave, but it hurts so much, just knowing that my love might never be enough", he sang the lyrics twice.
"So tell me, is this love enough? Tell me what it's really worth. Tell me, is this love enough? Tell me what it's really worth. I don't know what to feel anymore; tell me, is this love enough?" Tyler sang, repeating it several times, until the song was over.
He looked to the side, but Steve wasn't there. Lucas wasn't, either. Just David. He felt a pain in his chest; his soulmates weren't there anymore, and when they were at the shows in Columbus and New York City, he felt like he didn't appreciate them being there enough. Now he was gonna travel the world and he was already missing them so much.
Tyler walked back to the piano at the end of the catwalk, surrounded by the whole arena as he sat down.
"This song is an older one", Tyler said. "But I only played it live once, when I filled in for Brian when I Prevail played a big show in Detroit", Tyler said. "That venue was about the same size as this one. I was scared to play that show because I was not the one that tens ouf thousands of people were there to see. But after I played that show with my dear friends, it became one of my favorite, fondest memories", Tyler said.
"This song is really special to me, one of my most vulnerable ones. That's why I wrote this song a few years ago and then never released it, up until now. It's called I Can't Carry This Anymore", he said.
Josh's heart stopped. He could already feel the tears. This is the song Tyler was writing in the hotel, the last day of the Obviously Ohio tour. The last day where he and Tyler sat outside and cried and hugged and talked about their struggles with their mental health and how Tyler had so much and everything he ever wished for but still felt so miserable from time to time. This song, only Michael and Josh heard it for so many months until Tyler played it during that I Prevail show. Knowing he was gonna be able to listen to a studio version of this now for the rest of his life was something Josh didn't know how to feel about. It was now everyone's song, not just Tyler's song that he showed to Josh; but he would also be so grateful that he got to listen to that song every day for the rest of his life and it would probably make him cry each time but that's exactly what Josh needed.
"This song is gonna hurt", Josh whispered to Ashley. "I'm not ready", she whispered back. "I wasn't either, when I first heard it", Josh said and he grabbed Ashley's hand in his own.
"Feel it heavy in my bones now. Feel like everybody goes out and smiles for the 'gram, yeah I tried but I can't. Prayer in the shape of Prozac, try to medicate the lows that come and meet me in the night time. I'm losing track of my time", Tyler sang.
"Momma said 'Gonna be alright', but mama don't know what it's like in my mind. Mama said that the sun's gonna shine, but mama don't know what it's like to wanna die", Tyler sang.
"Fuck", Ashley whispered, wiping the tears off her cheeks, but she wasn't the only one; Josh and Fred were doing the same. "This one kills me every time", josh muttered. "I see why, damn", Fred replied with a soft sigh.
"I can't carry this anymore. Heavy from the hurt inside my veins. I can't carry this anymore. Wonder what it's like to be okay", Tyler sang. "I hope I'll be fine, it's just that every time this comes back, tell my maker up above that I have had enough and I can't carry this anymore", Tyler sang.
As he finished the song, the crowd cheered loudly and Josh was probably the loudest. The song was so special to him. He loved Tyler so much, and he missed him so much more.
Tyler kept playing the piano as he started the next one. The vibe of the song was very similar to the soft, slow piano song that he had just played.
"If you see the boy I used to be, could you tell him that I'd like to find him? And if you see the shell that's left of me, could you spare him a little kindness? 'Cause I've been high and I've been low. I've spent a thousand nights alone, trying to hold on tight. And feelings come but they won't go. Please, won't someone take me home before I lose my mind?" Tyler sang.
"Am I broken, am I flawed? Do I deserve a shred of worth or am I just another fake, messed up lost cause? And am I human, or am I something else? 'Cause I'm so scared and there's no one there to save me from the nightmare that I call myself. I've tried everything and anything but nothing seems to work quite like it should", Tyler sang, his voice cracking softly; much more vulnerable now. Josh's heart dropped as he saw the little bit of shine of Tyler's cheeks that was picked up by the camera; Tyler had tears on his cheeks too. He wished that he was there, front row, that he could see Tyler up close and he could somehow let him know that it was okay. But Tyler probably didn't even remember him anymore, at least not how he used to. It had been several years now since they saw each other. He didn't think Tyler would still actively remember him or think about him.
Tyler finished the song and he sat behind his piano for a few moments, not moving as he just stared at the keys. He then wiped his cheeks as he listened to the applause but he couldn't seem to bring himself to say something. He took a deep breath as he started the next song.
"I know you think I got it all figured out, 'cause I walk around like my head's in the clouds. But I'm just a boy with his heart pouring out of his head", Tyler sang. "I wish that you could see the pain that I've seen. All of the times I spent being not me. I hope you know that it's not always happy in my head", he continued.
"'Cause I don't know the perfect road to go down, but I know I'm trying my best. I'm trying my best to be okay. I'm trying my best but every day it's so hard. Holding my breath, holding my breath 'til I can say all of the words that I want to say from my heart", he sang.
"These last three songs are so hard", Ashley whispered. "D'you get why I love this guy so dang much?" Josh asked and she nodded. "Not alone", she whispered. "Not alone", Josh confirmed as he hugged her tightly.
Tyler finished the song and one of his crew members gave him his acoustic guitar. Tyler stepped away up on to the catwalk, then the piano lowered into the ground until it was out of sight and Tyler walked back up on the small stage at the end of the catwalk where the piano used to be. Now there was just a microphone stand.
"For a second, I almost forgot all the wreckage", Tyler started to sing after he started the intro on his acoustic guitar. "This hole full of hurt where my chest is, I felt like a person again. For a minute, I almost got lost in existence, the birds sang their song and I listened. There wasn't a thought in my head", he continued.
"But it never lasts. I just fall right back. It's hard to be human. Don't know what I'm doing half the time, 'cause I'm only a man with a pen in his hand and a couple of stories to write", he continued ."It's hard to be human, wish I had a blueprint for life 'cause I'm only a dot on this old spinning rock. I guess I'm just along for the ride."
"It's hard to be human. It's hard to be human sometimes."
The crowd cheered loudly again and Tyler gave his guitar away to the crew member. He wiped his eyes again, as it was evident that Tyler had been crying anyways. "...so", he started, and the crowd cheered louder. Tyler smiled softly.
"This album is called December because it's about me. I produced most of this on my own, some my best friend Steve produced. This whole thing was just me and him in a studio at home. No one else. That's why... these songs are a bit more raw than last album", Tyler said. "Hope you don't mind... I've been really nervous to release this. To show people these songs because it's so different. I hope you'll still be here after today, I hope that you'll tell your friends and they'll find something that could maybe comfort them in my music as well", he said.
"This room full of people is proof that whatever you're going through, you're not alone. And every night I know that whatever I am going through, I'm also not alone. Thank you for reminding me of that each time by being here", Tyler said.
"So... I hope this doesn't disappoint. I hope you'll stream this album and share it with people and express your opinion on it. I really want to know if I did something right with this or if I made a mistake so... can't wait to scroll through twitter later", he said with a soft laugh, and the crowd cheered. Tyler walked back to the main part of the stage.
"This song is called Make Believe", Tyler then said, and he started to build the song by looping like he did in the past a lot. He started on his keyboard.
"Lost in my head, and I can't leave. Watching the rain falling away, away from me. Days grow cold as I grow old, watching my life through a window. So I sit, watching the rain, and I can't leave", Tyler sang.
"I wanna feel something. I wanna feel air that I can breathe. I'm tired of being nothing. I'm tired 'cause I don't wanna be make believe", he sang.
"It happened again; I freed myself from words never said, this road with no end, and there's no help. Lost and lonely, strangers know me better than I know myself. So I sit, watching the rain, and here I'll stay", Tyler sang.
His voice was much more powerful now as he started the chorus again. "I wanna feel something. I wanna feel air that I can breathe. I'm tired of being nothing, I'm tired 'cause I don't want to be make believe."
An instrumental part followed and Tyler danced around on the stage, closing his eyes as he lost himself in the music.
"Repeat after me", Tyler then said as he walked down the catwalk until about halfway.
"All we are is guilty hearts in this sea of memories", Tyler sang, letting the crowd repeat after him. "Time goes by and people cry, but I don't feel anything."
The crowd sang along, several times, Tyler joining them as they did.
"I wanna feel something, I wanna feel air that I can breathe. I'm tired of being nothing, I'm tired 'cause I don't wanna be make believe", Tyler finished the song. His voice was so much different in that song from the ones before; so powerful but so emotional at the same time, while before that it was much more weak and vulnerable. Josh loved both sides of Tyler's singing so much; he would never get tired of hearing him sing.
Tyler got his acoustic guitar again and he put it around his neck. "This is one of my favorites. I named this one Selfish Art", Tyler said.
He started to play the acoustic guitar as he walked around the main stage. He stopped in front of one of the several mic stands.
"Sometimes, making songs for a living feels like living to make songs. And sometimes I get an uneasy feeling that I'm doing something wrong. "'Cause nothing really feels like home, and I just want to be alone. Calculate the hours 'til the power in the well goes dry", he sang.
"I'm watching as the stage goes back. How long until we all go back to being nothing at all, nothing but a spark in someone's eye? Am I giving all that I can give? Am I earning the right to live by looking in the mirror? There's nothing more sincere than selfish art", he sang.
He walked up on to the catwalk to the very end of it again. "And sometimes I got nothing to say. I think breaking a hart can maybe be of some new page. Sometimes I play a couple war games, using live ammunition so I can fix what I'm missing. And most of my songs are true, and most of my songs are due to some broken people so I can write a single", he continued.
"I'm watching as the stage goes back. How long until we all go back to being nothing at all, nothing but a spark in someone's eye? Am I giving all that I can give? Am I earning the right to live by looking in the mirror? There's nothing more sincere than selfish art. Oh there's nothing more sincere than an empty heart. Oh, there's nothing more sincere than who we are."
He finished the song and the crowd was just as excited as they had been for the last few songs. Tyler really hoped that it meant that they loved these songs even though they weren't as upbeat as the last album. He hoped they appreciated and loved what Tyler was doing with this album. He really hoped this hadn't been for nothing.
~~
Woohoo concert chapter! There's a bit more in next part & then we're back to the time skips. We'll be switching between Ty and Josh a lot!
Ty, Steve and Luke aren't doing much better than last chapter :( Joshie is happy being at a show again though ♥️
Would love to hear your thoughts and can't wait to show you what's next. All my love! See you Friday ♥️