Hi friends!
This is a big one. Huuuge one! Dual chapter! So to make you all happy I put the next 2 chappies together so you can read a bit more in one go. Since there chapters were pretty big already, this is def a big one! But I hope you'll enjoy it!
Thank you for your votes! It's so nice to see, 'cause now I was sure I could upload again! If you can leave another vote on this chapter too, maybe I can upload again tomorrow!
Can't wait to hear what you think of this one. Enjoy! But beware; some heavy stuff happening. Just want you to be safe.
All my love! ♥️
Total word count: 6845
~~
"Get in", Dustin said as they reached the car. "But- you've- you've been drinking, I- it's not safe", Josh said. "Oh don't be a fucking pussy and get in the fucking car", Dustin said. "But you- you can't drive like this, it's-"
"Get in the car!" Dustin yelled at him, and Josh tensed up, heart pounding rapidly. He quickly opened the car door and got in, feeling his eyes sting so badly; he wanted to cry but he was too scared to do so. He was shaking as he buckled his seatbelt, swallowing difficultly. He hadn't wanted to leave. He wanted to check the merch stand to see if he could get the shirt that had sold out yesterday, but Dustin had robbed him of that chance. As the car started and drove off, Josh found himself wondering how the hell he got into the situations he was in now.
//
"Man that show was legendary", Gracie grinned. "It was so good!" "I wanna go check out the merch stand too, I need to get something to remember this", Kit said. "Oh I wanna come! I'll go with you!" Michelle said, and Joe agreed.
"What about you guys?" She asked. "I got everything I wanted already", Colin smiled. "I'm saving money right now, I'll pass", Fred said. "Alright! We'll go check it out and we'll meet up after!" Gracie said, and they all agreed.
"Let's get one more drink", Colin said. "Sounds like a plan", Fred said. They walked to the bar to order two cokes. "So... you're gonna tell me about what's going on with you and Josh yet?" Colin asked. "And don't deny that something's going on. C'mon, it's obvious. You haven't talked to each other in forever ever since you said you had a great weekend in Muncie", Colin said.
Fred shrugged softly. "I can't", he said. "But Josh's not talking to me, he's not telling me", Colin sighed. "I promised him I wouldn't tell C, and I really don't wanna break that promise", Fred said softly. "But he's not telling me anything! And he's struggling on his own because he's so stubborn that he doesn't share it with me. I don't know how to help him", Colin said. "Just be there for him, I know that's what he needs", Fred said. "Why aren't you being there for him?" Colin asked. "...ouch", Fred said. "Neither of you are talking to me so I don't even know what to say that's justified or not", Colin said.
"Look", Fred sighed. "Something... something happened. I can't tell you what it is 'cause I made a promise. But Josh... he hurt me. And I... I can't just sweep that under the rug, I need space. That's why I'm not staying in our dorm, that's why I... I just need space okay? I need to do that for my own sake", Fred said, and Colin realized how serious he was being. His voice was wavering; even saying this was hard for him, and was hurting him. Colin felt bad.
"That's why I'm not in our dorm and I'm asking anyone I know to spend nights at theirs. I just... I can't just 'get over it' and Josh's not- he's not trying to reconcile either. And I know he struggles with anxiety and that it's hard, but... I can't be responsible for all of it. I can't", Fred said. "But he's the one who needs to tell you 'cause no matter how much he hurt me, I do not want to break his promise", Fred said.
Colin pulled Fred into a hug, and Fred accepted it as he let out a soft sigh and he wrapped his arms around him. "I'm sorry", Colin softly told him. "I just really want to help my best friend... it's hard when he's not letting me in y'know?" He asked. "I understand that", Fred said softly. "I just... I don't want to ruin our friendship because something happened between Josh and I", he muttered.
"It won't, okay? I don't wanna lose you either. I'm sorry for pushing you and bothering you about this every time", Colin said. "I'll try not to."
"Thank you", Fred said, a soft relief in his voice as they pulled back.
"Psssst!"
"Psssssssst! Colin!"
Colin turned around confusedly, when he saw Lucas on the side of the stage. "Oh! Hi!" Colin said. "C'mere!" Lucas gestured at him. "C'mon", Colin said. "Wait who's that?" Fred asked. "He's Tyler's close friend", Colin replied. "Really?" Fred asked, eyebrows raising. Colin nodded, taking Fred with him.
As they got to where Lucas was, he told the security that they could pass and Colin and a nervous Fred did. When they did, they saw Tyler in the back corner, leaning against the wall. "Hi", he smiled.
"Holy sh- hi!" Colin said. "I- what the hell", Fred muttered. "Hey Colin", Tyler smiled as he gave him a hug. "Who's this?" He asked as he looked at Fred. "This is Fred!" Colin said.
"Oh he's Fred!" Lucas gasped. "...you know him?" Colin asked. "Uh- I- Josh mentioned that they were uh... roommates? A while ago?" Lucas said. "Uh yeah we... we are, yeah. Technically", Fred said, a soft laugh coming from his lips. They weren't really being roommates right now, but technically, they still were.
"I'm Tyler", he said. "No shit", Lucas chuckled, as Tyler let out a laugh and he also gave Fred a hug. "Where's Josh?" Tyler then asked.
"I don't know", Colin said.
Tyler frowned. "What do you mean?" He asked. "Lucas said that you said you were gonna be here", Tyler said. "Yeah well... he was, I mean, he is? Uhm... So we were supposed to be here together, all of us", Colin said. "And then this morning Josh suddenly said he wanted to go with his boyfriend instead of us."
"Oh Jonathon's here too? I thought you guys were friends as well?" Tyler asked. "Oh no, not Jon", Lucas said. "Right, they broke up last year", Colin confirmed. "He's got someone else now."
Fred looked down, not really knowing what to say. It just felt especially awkward for him, talking about Josh's boyfriend, when he still had a huge crush on him.
"But he's still here right? At the venue?" Tyler asked. "I'm not sure, I think so? Let me call him", Colin said. He tried calling, but Josh didn't pick up. He tried again; no answer.
"I'll try too", Fred said. He hadn't done that in quite a long time, but if Tyler was asking for Josh, he was willing to put what happened aside to make sure Josh would know.
He tried calling once, twice; no answer. Colin was texting Josh religiously. "Maybe he's ignoring us because of what happened", Colin said. "You had a falling out?" Lucas asked. "I... not really, it's just... something's up with Josh and he's not saying what it is and then he tends to avoid me", Colin said. "...oh", Tyler said softly.
"Okay let me try to reach him", Lucas said as he dialed Josh's number too. Once, twice, three times; no answer.
"Okay let me ask Gracie if they've seen them", Colin said. "They're at the merch stand." "I'll go check with you", Lucas said.
Fred didn't mind that he'd wait, until he turned around and he realized he was alone with Tyler.
"So... Fred, Josh's roommate", Tyler started with a soft smile, and Fred let out a soft laugh. "Yeah", he said. "Did you enjoy the show?" Tyler asked, leaning against the wall again. Fred nodded, shifting from one foot to the other a bit nervously, but there was a smile on his face. "We loved it, we had so much fun. It's the first time for some of us that we've seen you live with, like, your own headline show, and we were so excited but it was even better than we thought it'd be", he blushed. "Aw man, that makes me happy", Tyler smiled. "I'm glad you enjoyed it so much. What about the new tunes?" He asked. "Oh we've been listening to anything you put out non-stop", he chuckled. "It's nice having a group of friends who all love the same music. We all gather together whenever something new is released to be able to share that. So it's been fun", Fred smiled. "And we've been loving Astronaut. It just came out though so we're still kind of discovering and exploring some songs, but it's just gorgeous", he smiled.
"That's so cool", Tyler smiled widely. "I love that, that you and your friends all get together to share that. It means a lot", he said. "And I'm glad you made it, I'm glad Colin's here... I just expected Josh to be with him", Tyler said.
"Well as Colin said, he was supposed to, but he ditched last minute", Fred said. "That just... doesn't sound like Josh at all", Tyler said. Fred had to remind himself that yes, Josh actually hung out with those people multiple times before. They knew Josh.
"I mean... I guess I haven't known Josh long enough to say whether or not that's unlike him", Fred said. "How long have you known him?" Tyler asked. "Beginning of this school year", Fred replied. "That's quite a while. Especially if you're roommates and you see each other every day", Tyler said. "I guess..." Fred trailed. "I... didn't think it would be something Josh would do but I... I don't know. Wouldn't be the first thing I didn't expect from him", Fred shrugged.
Tyler narrowed his eyes a little. "...what did you mean when you said you and Josh were technically roommates?" Tyler asked. Fred hadn't expected Tyler to pick up on that choice of words. "I uh... I'm not really using our dorm right now", Fred said. "So you did have a falling out?" Tyler frowned. "I- no.. I... maybe? I don't know", Fred said.
"What happened?" Tyler asked, as he sat down on the floor, feet flat on the ground as he rested his arms on his knees. "Can you tell me?"
Fred sighed softly, copying what Tyler had just done as he also sat down, but he was sitting up against the opposite wall, diagonally facing Tyler.
"I promised Josh I wouldn't. And I... I shouldn't", Fred softly said. "But it seems like you're also struggling with it... have you talked to anyone about it at all?" Tyler asked. Fred shook his head no.
"I can keep a secret", Tyler said. "...you promise?" Fred said. Tyler nodded, then he leaned closer as he held out his pinky. It made Fred smile softly as he hooked his pinky around Tyler's. "I promise", Tyler told him.
They sat back, and Fred considered it once more. "...so you won't tell Josh, or Colin? Or anyone else?" Fred asked. Tyler nodded. "I promise. It'll be safe with me", Tyler said, and he meant it. He wanted to know what was going on, why Josh wasn't there, but he wouldn't betray their trust over it. He would keep it to himself.
Fred nodded softly. "So uh... Josh has this guy, this... boyfriend", Fred said. "None of us really like him... Colin had bad memories of him, and our other friends, Kit and Joe; they're also a couple... he'd kind of bullied them, or harassed them, last year. I... I personally don't really have bad memories of him because I only met him through Josh, but the way he looks down on me and makes these... mean comments, and how he seems extra possessive over Josh when I'm around... I mean he can be if Josh wants that, but it just... it feels off. I just don't like his vibes, at all", Fred softly shrugged.
"So that's it? That's why you've fallen out?" Tyler frowned. Yeah, maybe not everyone liked everyone's partner, but was that it?
"Oh no, no", Fred said. "Not even close", he said. "There's much more", he muttered.
"Uhm so... sometimes Josh kind of seems to be... uncomfortable, around his boyfriend", Fred said as he scratched the back of his head. "And I've found him crying in our dorm or coming back to our dorm crying his eyes out several times, and then he comes to the conclusion that he wants to break up but... he always ends up not doing so", Fred said. "So... surprisingly, a few weeks ago, Josh came back and told me that his boyfriend broke up with him", he said.
Tyler wasn't sure what to think of everything right now. He was worried about Josh, the fact that he had been wanting to break up with the guy he was with, but didn't. Surely his friends thought he looked uncomfortable because he was, right?
"And we spent that weekend together at my hometown with some friends... he asked if I had a crush on anyone and I admitted that it was him", Fred blushed, and Tyler's heart swooned at that; the way Fred said it, the way he was blushing; him having a crush on Josh... that made him feel all warm inside. He thought it was adorable.
"Then he said he felt the same", Fred said with a soft smile as he looked up at Tyler. "And that he had been feeling like that for a long time already, which is why he'd also been doubting his relationship... and so when he and his boyfriend were broken up... we uh..." Fred trailed. He didn't know if, or how, he should even say that. Tyler was there to help him out.
"You spent time with him that weekend", Tyler said, and Fred nodded. "Right... and it uhm... both of us felt like that's what we were meant to feel", Fred blushed. "So we were really happy, we felt like that was the best weekend, we were so excited to get back and just.. be", he said. "...together."
Tyler smiled softly, but soon he realized that that was short lived, because Fred said Josh was here with his boyfriend. A guy that was not Fred.
"When we got back to college, Josh's boyfriend kissed him", Fred said, his smile was gone. "I thought Josh lied to me, I was... upset, sad, angry, all of that", Fred shrugged softly. "Josh told me that he hadn't lied, that he'd truly thought his boyfriend had broken up... he told me the exact words he'd said to Josh and I believed him. I would've thought the same if I was in his shoes. He'd said... mean things, awful, rude things", Fred said. "That definitely sounded like he'd broken up with him."
"And Josh, he said he was gonna tell him, that they were done because he'd broken up with Josh. He said he wanted to be with me", Fred said, quickly wiping his cheek as a tear escaped.
"Then Josh came back and said he'd chosen his boyfriend over me", Fred shrugged softly. "And to make matters worse, he'd slept with him not even twenty-four hours after we did. So... yeah, I just... had to get out, I couldn't stay there", Fred softly shrugged. "Since then we haven't really spoken, and he's still happily together with his boyfriend. I'm not avoiding him, I'm just... not really talking to him, and not using our dorm", Fred said.
Tyler's heart was heavy. None of that sounded like Josh, except for the part where he thought that Fred would've been a really nice match for him - as far as he could tell right now - and he thought they would've looked lovely together. Could he believe Fred? When he told Tyler that Josh's boyfriend was bad news? He wasn't sure, but he did trust Josh's best friend Colin, and he hadn't been super excited talking about Josh's boyfriend either. Plus... when Josh was with Jonathon, he'd bring Jon with him and do things together with him and his friends. But now Josh was ditching his whole friend group last minute, while they'd already made plans, to just attend the concert with his boyfriend only? Maybe Tyler didn't know Josh the way he thought he did at all, but deep in his heart, he knew this wasn't anything like Josh. It just was not.
"C'mere", Tyler moved towards Fred, and he gave him a tight hug. "I'm sorry. That must've been really hard", Tyler told him softly. "It was", Fred replied softly. "Still is."
As they pulled back, Tyler remained next to Fred as he sat back against the wall next to him now. "I guess I... don't really know Josh all that well either", Tyler said. "I haven't spent that much time with him. Just... I guess I just can't be sure", he said. "But the Josh I know... he's caring, and loving, and he constantly has this fear of being abandoned and left alone. This fear of being judged and needing to live up to certain expectations for people to love and value him", Tyler said.
"He... he wouldn't betray someone. He wouldn't betray you, at least that's what I think", Tyler said. "I just... feel like it's not all just his decisions", he softly added.
"I... don't know", Fred said softly. "I don't wanna blame him for everything but I also don't wanna act like everything is fine and he did nothing wrong", he said. "Which you shouldn't, 'cause... it's your right, and what Josh did wasn't... nice", he said. "I just... don't be too hard on him? He's had a lot of struggles already... just please don't make him feel like he's the devil, or he's this evil person", Tyler said.
"I won't, I never wanted to", Fred said. "I just... can't pretend like nothing happened. But I'll never... I'll never be rude to him or refuse to talk to him. It just... hasn't really happened", Fred said. "Which is okay. You're allowed to take care of yourself and if that means putting some distance between you that is okay. You don't have to feel like you're the evil person either", Tyler said. "Especially after he hurt you the way he did." Fred smiled softly. "Thank you", he said.
"...I wish I had something you could sign", Fred said then, and Tyler smiled too. "You don't?" He asked and Fred shook his head. "Digital ticket, and I couldn't afford the new stuff right now 'cause I'm a broke college student y'know", he chuckled.
"You don't have the cd then either?" Tyler asked and Fred shook his head no. "Alright. I'll get you one", he said as he grabbed his phone. Fred's eyes widened. "Wh- no I didn't mean that", he said. "I know, but I do. It's really no big deal, don't worry", Tyler smiled as he dialed Steve's number.
"Hey Tyguy, what's up?" Steve asked. "Hey could you bring me one of the albums? I need to sign one here", Tyler said. "Yeah, of course. I'll be right there", he said. "Thanks", Tyler smiled, ending the call. Just moments later, Steve was there with the album in his hands. "Hey t- oh! Hi!" Steve said as he saw Fred, whose jaw dropped as he saw Steve, not expecting him out of all people.
"This is Josh's roommate, and friend, Fred", Tyler said. "Hey dude", steve smiled as he crouched down and he gave Fred a fist bump. "Where's Josh though? And where's uh..." Steve trailed. "He and Colin went looking for Josh", Tyler said. "We're waiting for them." "Oh! I thought Josh would've been here with you guys by now. Anyways, here you go", he smiled as he gave Tyler the album. Tyler sighed it, writing to Fred on it, before handing it back to Steve. "I think you meant to hand it to him", Steve chuckled. "Nah, I have a hunch that he wants you to sign it too", Tyler grinned as he looked over at Fred, who blushed as he said yes, of course wanting Steve's signature also. Steve laughed gently as he signed it too, before he handed it to Fred.
"Wanna take a pic too?" Tyler asked Fred, and obviously he did. Steve sat down on the other side of Fred and used Fred's phone to take a selfie with the three of them.
"I hope the others will be back soon."
~~
This was the end of chapter 130 of 3406 words, but I promised you more so... here's the next part :)
⭒ CXXXI ⭒
Word count of this chapter: 3211
~~
Josh was staring out the window as they drove, his heart pounding as the car swayed sometimes; he didn't feel safe, and he wasn't happy about it.
"Stop moping", Dustin said. "I'm not", Josh replied. "Yeah you are. Stop." "I'm not moping", Josh replied. "Jesus Christ Josh. Stop fucking lying to me all the god damn time. Be fucking grateful for once", Dustin said. "Be grateful that I took you to the show. That I drove you there and I'm getting you back home. Ungrateful bitch", Dustin said.
Josh felt the pang of pain in his heart. "I- I should be grateful for you taking me to the show? I paid for it! For both of our tickets!" Josh said. "And I was gonna go to the show with my friends, so you didn't have to drive me or bring me back home! You're not safely doing the latter anyways 'cause you're drunk!" Josh said.
Josh wasn't prepared for the screaming match that followed, and there was nothing he could do but cry. He couldn't help it; he'd been trying to be so strong, but this broke him, and he couldn't stop the tears. He couldn't prevent himself from crying.
Josh's phone was buzzing in his pocket, but he didn't grab it. It was probably Colin, but the way he'd hung up the phone on Colin that morning... he didn't want to talk to Colin right now. But his phone kept buzzing over and over, and Josh was starting to get curious.
"You fucking crybaby piece of shit", Dustin was mumbling. "Weak fucking bitch."
"Leave me alone", Josh softly said, feeling the heavy pain in his chest as he grabbed his phone to check why his phone was vibrating the entire time, but as soon as he got it out, it was snatched away by Dustin. "If you're telling me to leave you alone, then everyone should leave you alone", he told Josh as he put Josh's phone away so Josh couldn't reach it, and that just upset Josh even more. He crossed his arms and stared out the window, trying not to cry any more and also deciding not to say anything anymore. It would only add fuel to the already blazing fire, and Josh was already fearing for his safety being in a car with a drunk person driving him.
//
"Dude. You guys are great!" Tyler said, his jaw basically still dropped. "Man this sounds fucking amazing, I did not see that coming", Steve laughed softly. Him and Tyler had been asking some questions to Fred, like what he was studying and when they found out he was majoring in music, they were curious to hear his work, and the work from his band, when they discovered he had one.
"Your voice is so sick, oh my gosh", Tyler said as he leaned closer to Fred's phone to listen better. "Time to drop out of college and go on tour with me!" Tyler joked, making them laugh. "No please don't drop out", Tyler then chuckled. "But I will keep an eye on you guys though. You guys are so cool. Way cooler than I am", Tyler said.
"I highly disagree with that", Fred said with a laugh. "But thank you, for all those compliments. Really", he smiled. "You gotta tell me your band's Instagram so I can stay up to date with your work. What was it. Giant Rooks?" Tyler asked. "Giantrooksmusic is the handle", Fred said. "Following right now..." Tyler trailed as he looked them up and he hit follow. "Done."
"Same", Steve said. "You're geniuses in the making. If your music is this good already, I can't wait to hear what he future holds for you", he said. Fred was freaking out in every way internally, because Tyler Joseph and I Prevail's lead guitarist were now following his band on social media because they loved their music. He couldn't believe it.
And no matter in what way you'd twist or turn it; it was thanks to Josh.
As they heard some voices, Tyler perked up. "Did you find him?" he asked immediately as he scrambled to his feet when he caught a glimpse of Lucas.
"We looked everywhere. Literally everywhere. Not a trace of Josh", Lucas said. "I think he just... left", Colin added. Tyler didn't really know how to take that news; he'd assumed they'd find Josh. Now that they were saying they couldn't, he wasn't sure how to handle that.
"Wh- what do you mean?" He asked. "He's not here", Lucas said. "Did you look-" "Yes, we did", Lucas said. "And-" "We did, Ty. Everywhere. All of their friends searched with us, we checked the venue from top to bottom. Bathrooms, lockers, bar, merch stand, lobby, even areas where fans aren't even supposed to be able to go into, the balcony, the general room, the other stage, outside all around the building, even the parking lot. He's not here", Lucas said.
"His boyfriend's car isn't here either. And I'm pretty sure that they drove here with his car", Colin added. "Yeah. ...I'm sorry Ty", Lucas said. "I know you were looking forward to seeing him again."
"So... now- now what?" Tyler asked softly, his mood immediately completely crashed. "I guess we'll have to do our best to fill Josh's spot", Steve said as he and Fred had gotten up too, wrapping his arm around Tyler's neck as he gently patted Tyler's chest with his hand. "If he'd answered his phone I would've gone to get him but he's not answering. We tried several times, literally everyone tried", Lucas said. Tyler sighed softly as he rested his head on Steve's shoulder. "I hate this", he softly said. He'd been looking so forward to seeing Josh again, finally getting to spend time with him again. Unfortunately, once again, he was out of luck.
"There's a whole bunch of college kids out there that would love a picture with you, though", Lucas said as he pointed over his shoulder, waiting for Tyler's reaction. "...Josh's friends?" He asked. "Mhm", Lucas nodded. "Are you up for that? Or rather not?" Steve asked. "Yeah no I- I do, I am", Tyler nodded. "Just... nerves", he said as he looked up at Steve. "I'll go get the guys, ask if they wanna come? So there's less pressure and attention all focused on you?" He asked. Tyler nodded. "If you'd do that, that'd be great", he said. "Of course Ty", Steve gently squeezed his shoulder before he left them to go ask the band to join.
"...do you know why he'd leave so soon? And not answer his phone?" Tyler then asked Colin, who shook his head. "Josh never leaves soon, we always hang around after each show for a while. I have no idea, I just hope it's not to avoid us or something", he said. "Josh has no reason to avoid you", Tyler replied. "Well he kind of does that on a regular basis when I try to find out what he's hiding from me when I see he's struggling badly", Colin said. "But you were at the show together yesterday. Why would he do that all of a sudden?" Tyler asked. "I don't know... I just- maybe I said something wrong when I asked why he was suddenly changing his mind and deciding he wanted to go just with his boyfriend instead of us. I mean... he did hang up on me", Colin said.
Tyler bit his lip. "If that's the case... If he left because of that, just... Don't feel like you're guilty for this okay?" Tyler said as he rested his hand on Colin's arm. "If he really left because he wanted to avoid you, then... that's only Josh's fault", Tyler said. "But if it's a different reason... I really freaking knew I wish what it was", he said softly.
"I hope it's also not because of his boyfriend", Fred said. Saying those words in regards to Josh still hurt every time. "...d'you think that he..." Colin trailed. Fred shrugged. "I- I don't know, I just- I just hope not. I hope he just... decided to leave and that that was just his decision", Fred said. Tyler narrowed his eyes. "...is Josh's boyfriend abusive?" He asked.
"No! No", Colin quickly said. "No, no he's actually- he's actually sweet to Josh, and he... he cares for him, he does cute things, it's just... we don't really like him that much because of things he did in the past that weren't... great", he added. "But... people can change, right?" He added. Tyler nodded softly, looking over at Fred. 'Cause what he just said, he said for a reason. It wasn't for no reason.
"Colin's right, he's... he's good to Josh, from what we've heard and seen. I just... we don't feel great about him but since they got together he hasn't really given us something to dislike him about..." Fred said. "It's just... tough sometimes, to let go of what we know about what he did in the past", Fred said, and Colin nodded.
"Mkay", Tyler then said. "I believe you guys."
Steve then came back with the others, who all greeted Colin as they remembered him and they were introduced to Fred, who was definitely overwhelmed for a bit. When they left the backstage area to meet Josh's friends, Tyler held Fred back.
"You said Josh's boyfriend had said mean things", Tyler softly said. "Yeah during their argument", Fred said. "I- I don't know if he ever did when they were not having an argument. I just... Everyone says things they don't wanna say or mean during fights sometimes, right?" Fred said.
Tyler wanted to disagree, but in no way was he able to, 'cause he knew firsthand what it was like saying things you didn't mean. He got angry - too angry - sometimes, he'd call the people he loves names that were rude and unkind and he didn't mean any of it, but it just... happened, during moments. He couldn't disagree. If he was to be in an argument with someone, chances are that he would do the same, because he'd already done so in the past.
"You're right", Tyler said. "You're right. Let's... let's go see your friends yeah?" He asked and Fred nodded as they followed the others.
Tyler enjoyed meeting Josh's friends, he liked talking to them and they all took a group picture as well as several individual ones.
"Hey, by the way", Eric then spoke up. "You can take all the pictures you want, we don't mind that", he said. "Just don't take any pictures of him", he said as he pointed at Lucas. "He doesn't want to be in them, he doesn't want them to be posted online. He wants to have that privacy, so I trust that you guys respect that", he said. Lucas smiled, thanking Eric with that, and Josh's friends immediately said they would respect that and they'd never take pictures of him without his consent. Tyler trusted them. They were Josh's friends for a reason, and if Josh trusted them, Tyler did too.
He just wished that Josh was there himself.
//
When Josh thought Dustin was asleep, he carefully crawled out of bed, covering up right away as he felt way too exposed. He pulled on a hoodie he found on the chair and his pants, because he had no sweatpants or something like that with him.
They'd gotten back to the campus safely, but when Dustin was getting very handsy very quickly, Josh found himself wishing that somehow, in some way, they hadn't gotten back safely. He tried to shake the thought off. This is just your life, this is a regular occurrence, it's normal. You chose this, this is what you wanted. That's what Josh tried to tell himself every time Dustin had sex with him.
He quietly looked through Dustin's discarded clothes, when he found his phone. He saw that it had been shut off at some point - Dustin probably did when the buzzing of his phone was getting way too repetitive and frequent. He turned the phone back on, when a waterfall of texts and phone calls from all of his friends washed over his phone, and his heart beat in his throat as he scrolled through them.
All of them were asking Josh where he was, if he had left yet, why he wasn't at the venue, if he was coming back, and Josh didn't understand why, when he saw that Lucas had tried to call him too, and then he saw the texts that made his heart stop.
Fred: hi josh
Fred: tyler's asking for you. can you come back if you left already? he really wants to see you.
Fred: please come back. he's here, he's been waiting for you. this is what you've been waiting for since you hung out with him the last time
Fred: if you're mad at us and you're ignoring us because of that... i'm sorry. i just need time okay? colin doesn't deserve being ignored either, he's just trying to be a good friend.
Fred: ...please? for tyler?
That was the last message Fred had sent him. Josh's breathing was rapid and shallow as he opened his texts with Colin, seeing the tons of messages of him asking where he is because Tyler wanted to hang out.
Josh felt the tears on his cheeks; he'd missed it. He'd missed Tyler. Tyler had been asking for him. He could've spent the whole night with Tyler. But instead, Dustin made him leave early and because of that, Josh missed out on his chance to finally hug him again. Finally talk to him again. Finally spend time with him again, see him smile because of Josh's jokes, or having emotional conversations together with him. He could've been with Tyler, but that had all been ruined.
"Are you crying again? Fuck's sake", Dustin said, and Josh looked up; how he wished Dustin hadn't woken up.
"You- Ty-", Josh stuttered. "I- I missed Tyler, I- h-he was asking f-for me", Josh said. "Oh for fuck's sake Josh, stop with that bullshit", Dustin groaned. "I get that your friends all entertain your made up stories about you and Tyler hanging out, but I can see right through your fucking bullshit. Cut the crap", he said.
"What?" Josh frowned. "You- you don't believe me?"
"Of course not. Which famous person would let you hang out with them? They'd be crazy for doing so", Dustin rolled his eyes. "But I- I showed you the pictures! I proved it to you!" Josh said. "Showed me the pictures of how you stalked him all tour long and had him take pictures of you two every time yeah. That's not a fucking friendship", Dustin said. Josh stared at him with his jaw dropped.
"That's- that's not true! I- I- Jenna and Jonathon were there with me!" Josh said. "I never spoke to them, why would I believe that when it only came from your mouth?" Dustin said. "But- and- Colin was there too one time!" Josh tried. "And Colin never talks to me either 'cause he's a weird fucking idiot. You're not gonna convince me of your lies, Josh", Dustin said.
"Colin- Colin's my best friend!" Josh said. "I did stay with Steve and Tyler when I missed my flight! You can ask Colin, I didn't stay with him!" "You probably either didn't miss your flight at all, or you just slept at the airport", Dustin shrugged. Josh wiped his cheeks. "Why the fuck would I lie about these things! Why would I make it up!" he exclaimed. "To sound interesting, 'unique'? 'Cause you're always trying to impress me? 'Cause you're trying to be this special popular kid?" Dustin listed. Josh was stunned. "I- I never-", he stuttered, but he couldn't get the words out.
"You made me miss the chance to spend time with Tyler tonight", Josh softly said. "You did that, because you wanted to leave before the show was even over so freaking badly. If you- if you'd just been patient, you would've seen for yourself, you would've even met him yourself", Josh said. "You ruined it not just for me, but for both of us!"
"Oh quit the fucking bullshit Josh! Get the fuck out of my face you ungrateful, lying piece of shit!" he yelled. Josh stared at him, the tears flowing down his cheeks and he tried to wipe them away.
"Gladly", he softly said, and he turned around, grabbed his shit and jacket and he was out the door.
He heard Dustin call after him to come back, but Josh didn't listen. He kept walking, until there were footsteps and a strong grip on his arm. "You're not walking away from me", Dustin said, voice low, almost threatening. "Y-you're hurting me, let- let go of me", Josh tried. "Shut up, keep your voice down", he said. "Now walk back to my dorm or I'll make you regret it", he told Josh, who felt himself give up inside once again. "Okay", he whispered. Only then, Dustin let go and he let Josh walk back first, which Josh hated. He wished Dustin wasn't behind him, 'cause Josh didn't feel safe that way. He walked quickly, so he would be able to face Dustin again soon. That was better than knowing he's behind him but not knowing what he was planning to do.
When the door closed, Josh was about to turn around, but he was shoved into the bathroom, caught off guard. "Don't fuck with me like that ever again", Dustin told him, eyes dark, before the door was closed. Josh moved toward the door and tried to push the handle down, but it wouldn't budge. He tried, several times, starting to panic; he was trapped.
"Dustin", Josh tried as he used his hand against the door. "Dustin please! Don't- don't do this! I- I love you, I'm sorry! I- I won't do it again, I promise! Please, I love you!" Josh tried, but Dustin did not reply. "Please!" Josh tried again, banging his hands on the door, but it was to no use.
Josh wanted to grab his phone, when he realized he didn't have it anymore - again. Dustin must've grabbed it from him before he shoved him in there.
Josh was panicking. The room was windowless, the door was blocked; he had nowhere to go, no one to reach out to. He felt his body give up and give in to the anxiety attack that was washing over him, he was crying his eyes out as he tried to keep himself upright. He tried to drink some water, to splash the cold water in his face to try and keep his heart at ease, so he wouldn't panic, but it barely made a difference.
Only after a long time, did Josh calm down slightly. His breath was stuttering, but he lowered himself to the ground as he curled up on the cold tile floor. He was alone, trapped, had nowhere to go and no one to reach out to; but there was one thing Josh was glad about.
He did not have to sleep next to Dustin.
~~
I KNOW THIS IS HEARTBREAKING OKAY and I know I'm putting Josh through a lot. It's breaking my heart each time too!
Trust me though, I'll take care of Joshie soon 🥺 I feel so bad for him and for Ty too bc they were so looking forward to it. And Dustin is going the extreme route now...
I'd love to hear your thoughts though. I hope you enjoyed reading it! Even though it's heartbreaking.
Please leave a vote while you can & I can update again either tomorrow or the next day, depending on the amount of votes.
Thank you for being here! Much love ♥️