Hi ♥️
Wasn't gonna update today but it's my birthday so here's my bday treat from me to you ♥️ I'm 25 now omg
I saw Giant Rooks again yesterday (Fred's band, he's the lead singer) and mannn were they awesome once again 🥺 I love them so much and also ..... Fred is an extreme hottie fr
I hope you'll enjoy this chapter, thank you for being here!
Updating soon, love you all! As a special bday gift I'd love to hear what you thought of this chapter & I hope to see your votes 🎂🎈🎉
Enjoy. Love you ♥️
Word count: 3539
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Lucas was making chicken pesto pasta in the kitchen of Tyler's apartment while Tyler sat on the balcony, playing his acoustic guitar.
He'd cried plenty during their several hour drive back to Columbus, and once he entered the strange apartment, even more. He missed Steve so much already, and the only way he knew how to cope with it just a little bit, was his music.
Lucas loved listening to Tyler's guitar playing in the background. The doors to the balcony were open and the crisp autumn air breeze moved through the apartment. It felt chilly, but in a good way.
Tyler took a drag from his cigarette, leaving it to dangle from the corner of his mouth.
"Talk too much", he softly sang. "Dream too much. ...please don't leave", he continued.
Lucas paid close attention to the words Tyler suddenly started to sing.
"'Cause you're holding on to something special to me. It's... essential to me", Tyler sang. The guitar playing suddenly stopped, and as Lucas looked over, he saw Tyler scribbling down some stuff in his notebook.
He was writing music. That was good. That was a healthy way to cope. He hoped Tyler would be able to help himself with music this time, not with trashing his apartment and almost drinking himself to death.
"Hold my breath 'til I turn green", Tyler started the song he was writing back up. He hadn't realized he was writing until it happened, but he embraced.
"Please don't leave, 'cause you're holding on to special to me. It's essential to me."
It was quiet for a while, but Tyler didn't write down anything either. He just stared at the view from his balcony, eyes blank. His fingers found their way back to the strings of the guitar.
"My love", he sang, voice cracking. "Say that you, say that you love me. I won't... waste your time."
"Shut me up", he sang. "Snuff me out. Please don't leave, 'cause you're holding on to something special to me. It's essential to me."
Lucas turned the heat of the stove down a bit, wiping his hands on the towel. He made his way to Tyler, wrapping his arms around him from behind as he pressed a kiss on top of his hair. "You sound beautiful", he said. "Thank you baby", Tyler sighed softly. "Everything hurts though", he said softly. "Singing does, playing guitar does, thinking does, just... just sitting here, does", he huffed. "This fucking sucks."
"I know baby", Lucas said softly, kissing Tyler's cheek. "And I know you're gonna feel regret, but you chose what was best for both of you. You really did", Lucas said.
"I hope so", Tyler muttered. "I hope I didn't mess up."
"C'mon, let's have dinner. You need to eat", Lucas said. "I'm not hungry", Tyler softly said. "Mhm I know. Now let's eat, baby", he said. Tyler huffed softly. He could tell Lucas he was not hungry a million times, but he wasn't gonna let him skip dinner. No one experienced Tyler and his eating disorder first-hand more than Lucas and Tyler's crew did. He wasn't ever gonna risk Tyler falling back into that.
A little begrudgingly, he got up. "Fine", he muttered as they went inside and he put his guitar down. Lucas prepared the plates for them and they sat down at the small breakfast table near the windows. Tyler opened it to let the cold air in.
"You like that, hm? The cold air?" Lucas asked. Tyler nodded. "If I feel the shivers and the goosebumps, it makes me feel more... alive, I guess", he said. "More like... like I'm actually in the moment and I'm not an outsider looking in at what a mess my life is", he said. He was quiet for a while.
"I need to release some music again", Tyler said softly. "It's been too long. I... need to reconnect with my fans, I need to actually put something out and not just work on music the whole time. I need to... not feel like I'm wasting my time away", he said softly as he stared out the window.
"Taking time to process and recover from emotions and things happening isn't a bad thing, Ty", Lucas said. "Don't rush yourself into new things right away. Just... take your time", he said.
"They're not gonna wait on me forever", Tyler softly said. "I have to... stay relevant." He finally put a bite of pasta in his mouth, and he looked at Lucas as he had swallowed it.
"Let's go to LA, so I can put a song out and we can go see your family", Tyler said. "Go to the place where we met and just... leave for a bit", he said.
"I wish I could just leave but I can't, baby", Lucas said. "Earliest I'm able to go to LA is thanksgiving 'cause we're celebrating that in Cali this year." "Let me go with you", Tyler said, and it sounded slightly desperate. "Please." "Don't you wanna celebrate with your family?" Lucas asked. "I just need a break from Detroit, from Columbus", Tyler said. "They'll understand. I'll be here for Christmas."
"...talk to them about it first. If they're okay with it, I'll take you to LA with me and you can celebrate thanksgiving with us."
//
Several weeks passed, and Tyler was struggling a lot, but Lucas was able to keep him from making any dumb mistakes or picking up self-destructing habits. He and Steve talked sometimes, Tyler saw Michael, Mark and Jordan more often again, and whenever Lucas went up to Detroit to check on Lucas, they'd be the ones taking care of Tyler.
Steve and Tyler talked on the phone, and they texted. They weren't sure how to describe their relationship right now; they weren't together, but they sure weren't over each other yet either. The only way they knew how to describe it is that they were soulmates.
Tyler went to LA with Lucas a week before thanksgiving, and he worked in the studio every day. Several days later, it was the one-year anniversary of the first song he released with Steve and the other boys from I Prevail. He FaceTimed Steve, he toasted with Lucas and him over video chat as kind of an extra celebration, and Tyler felt better about everything when he noticed that Steve was also doing pretty well. He was smiling, he sounded positive, and it helped Tyler a lot too. Sure, they were absolutely still in love, but they were still broken up as of right now, because they were doing better that way. Tyler didn't have the chance to be toxic if he wasn't his boyfriend, and right now, that was helping.
After thanksgiving, they stayed in LA for a few more days before they flew back to Columbus two days before Tyler's birthday.
"So when are you meeting your family?" Lucas asked as they got their suitcases in the car. "Tomorrow afternoon. I'll be back when Steve gets here", he said. "Are you ready to see him again? Y'know, face to face?" Lucas asked.
"Well I missed him more than anything, so... I think I am, but maybe that's exactly why I'm not ready to see him", he said with a soft laugh. "I just... can't wait to hold him again, though", he sighed softly. "I missed that."
"I'm so excited about you and him seeing each other again", Lucas said. "I think that's gonna be really good for both of you." "I'm jealous that you've seen him several times since we broke up", Tyler huffed as he got in the car. "Baby you couldn't even think of Steve without crying. It's definitely better that we waited with that", Lucas said as he started the car. "I know... but even then", he said. "I just missed him so much."
"Tomorrow night he'll be here", Lucas smiled. "Less than 24 hours."
//
Tyler didn't want a big party, or to see many of his crew this birthday, because of the fairly recent break up. He went to see his parents and siblings and his grandparents and all that, but just for the afternoon and early evening. He was held up a little longer than he wanted to though, so he was running a bit late.
He drove to his apartment and parked the car - in an actual car park garage because that was definitely an upgrade from his previous apartment, and he ran upstairs to his place. He unlocked the door. "I got held up, is he almost here-" Tyler started asking Lucas, when his eyes landed on the man he missed so much, sitting on the couch.
"Hey Ty."
Tyler just stared, and he could feel tears well up in his eyes, and his hands were trembling. Steve got up from the couch and Tyler almost ran towards him as he wrapped his arms around him, and Steve lifted him in the air as he hugged him tightly. "Hi baby", he whispered.
"I- I missed you so much", Tyler just started bawling his eyes out as he held him; he had been struggling a lot but he had not expected to react like this as soon as he was finally able to see and hold him again.
Tyler's legs were wrapped around Steve's waist as they hugged, and Lucas was smiling as he saw his soulmates reconnect again. "I missed you baby, more than anything", Steve replied, his eyes closed as he held Tyler tightly. "I'm so glad I get to hold you again."
Tyler couldn't reply, too many tears rolling down his face to be able to speak any words properly. Steve carefully put Tyler back down but the boy didn't let go, he clung on to him and they didn't let go for quite a long time.
"G-gosh, s-sorry", Tyler sniffled as he wiped his tears away. "I'm pathetic." "No you're not", Steve said, and Tyler looked into his eyes; he hadn't been the only one who'd cried. Steve cupped Tyler's face in his hands and he pressed a long kiss on his forehead. "I love you", he said. "I love you", Tyler whispered back. They gave each other another tight hug.
"Whew, that was- that was a lot", Tyler sniffled. "That was quite emotional, huh", Lucas said with a soft laugh, wiping some tears away too. "That hit me hard as well", he said as he walked up to them. Steve pulled Lucas in with his left arm, and Tyler with his right, all three of them hugging tightly. "Got my boys back again", Steve said softly. "I didn't know it was possible to love two men platonically so damn much as I love you two", Lucas sighed. "You're everything to me."
"I love you both so much", Steve said. "I love you", Tyler said. "Promise me to never leave me or each other", he said. "Promise", Steve and Lucas said at the same time.
Tyler kissed both of their cheeks firmly, gently running his fingers up to both of their hair; so different, yet so perfect in their own way. They rested their heads against each other's, their eyes closed. "How I got so lucky to find both of you, I'll never understand", Tyler whispered. "The universe just decided we deserve each other, I guess", Lucas said.
They eventually pulled back, and Tyler wiped his cheeks. He let out a sigh. "Man", he said. "I needed this so much more than I thought I did." "Me too", Steve said with a soft laugh, wiping the last remaining tears away too. "I know you wanted to cook tonight but let's order something okay? I just wanna be with both of you tonight", Tyler told Lucas, who nodded. "I'll cook you a birthday dinner tomorrow", Lucas smiled, and Tyler returned it. "I need a smoke and I need some music and I need all the cuddles I can get and I need some food and some booze", Tyler chuckled. "Sounds like a plan", Lucas laughed gently, and Steve agreed. "Tomorrow we're celebrating you", Steve said to Tyler. "Tonight we're celebrating us."
"Sounds perfect", Tyler smiled.
They ordered their shared favorite - sushi and Japanese grill - and moved all of the couch's cushions to the balcony. Lucas had strung up some fairy lights a few weeks ago to make it cozier, and they brought all the blankets outside too.
Lucas, Tyler and Steve got comfy under the blankets on top of the couch cushions on the balcony floor, and Tyler and Steve both lit a cigarette. "I'm so glad we get to do this", Tyler said softly. "Best birthday present I could've asked for this year."
"Wouldn't miss it for the world", Steve smiled, and Tyler returned it. He rested his head on Steve's shoulder. "So you haven't decided to hate me yet?" He asked. "As if I could ever hate you", Steve scoffed with a soft laugh. "Never. I love you", Steve said as he took a drag from his cigarette.
"Maybe we should just start a three-way relationship", Tyler joked, and both Steve and Lucas laughed. "That'd be quite the story, huh", Steve chuckled. "I think your crews already think that's the case", Lucas laughed, and Tyler did too. "Fuck me, man", he shook his head lightly. "I can't believe that there's no one I'd rather spend time with than two of my ex-boyfriends", he said. "That sounds terrible", Steve said. "But somehow it isn't." "Oh quite the opposite", Tyler said with a soft laugh. "Still hurts though, to call you my ex-boyfriend", he then added, voice softer.
"Yeah... it does", Steve nodded softly. "Still hurts me too." It was quiet for a while.
"Can you believe it's been over a month?" Tyler asked. "Not at all", Steve shook his head. "Time's flying." "I know", Tyler sighed softly. "I'm about to put out new music after way too long, I'm getting old, I don't have a relationship because I'm toxic as hell; I thought my life would be going right at 24 but I ruined it all in the last few months", he said with a laugh. "Sucks."
"Okay first off; it really has not been long since you last released new music. You're putting way too much pressure on yourself", Lucas said. "Second, you didn't ruin it. You chose what's best for both of you at this time and there's nothing better and more mature than choosing what's best for you and the person you love", he continued.
"And third: You're not fucking old, Ty. We're old", he chuckled, and Steve hummed. "At 25 you don't get to say you're old", he agreed. "And if you truly ruined it all... We wouldn't be sitting here together right now", he said.
"...I guess that's true", Tyler said. "I... hope I really didn't ruin us. ...and you're right, you two are old", he said with a soft smile, and they gently laughed. "Sorry I missed your birthday", Tyler then softly told Steve. "I... really wished I could be there, it was just... too... too fresh", he said. "I know baby", Steve rubbed Tyler's knee gently. "It wasn't much of a birthday anyways. Just saw the guys, Luke, and my family. Didn't do anything for the crew or whatever, I just wasn't feeling it", he said. "Kind of like me, but you're actually here for me while I wasn't for you on your birthday", Tyler said.
"Stop it, baby", Steve said. "It wasn't just too soon for you. It was for me, too. We still called, you still told me happy birthday, I still got your card and your gift. It's not like you completely ignored it", Steve said. "I would've just cried all day if we'd met up then. So stop blaming yourself. It was the right decision for both of us", he said.
"And next year you'll be there for his birthday again, when he turns 30. That's more important than his 29th birthday this year anyways", Lucas said. Tyler hummed softly. "Just don't die before then", he said. "I'm not gonna die, Ty", Steve said. "Sorry, it still just... scares me", he softly said. "I'm... working on it, on that fear, it just... takes a lot of effort", he sighed softly.
"I'm proud of you for that, though", Steve said as he pressed a kiss on Tyler's shoulder. "We're gonna have so many long, happy years and lives together", Steve promised him, and Tyler smiled softly. "We better do", he said.
"So... by the way", Lucas started then. "...about the day you broke up... something I didn't mention yet", Lucas said. Tyler looked over at him. "...what?" He asked, a little suspiciously. "Remember I said I was gonna hang out somewhere?" He asked. Tyler nodded. "I went downtown, figured I'd get some coffee or something somewhere and wait there. But I... bumped into a familiar face", he said.
"Who was it?" Steve asked. "Believe it or not, it was Josh", Lucas said. "Josh who?" Tyler asked. Lucas quirked an eyebrow at Tyler. "Really, dude? There's literally only one Josh that all of us know well", Lucas said.
Tyler narrowed his eyes. "You mean..." he trailed. "Yeah", Lucas said. "Josh Josh?" "Yup." "As in... Josh-and-Jenna Josh?" "Yes." "Josh-who-crashed-our-parties Josh?" "Yes", Lucas chuckled. "The Josh we hung out with during tour, the one who missed his flight and we played Truth or Dare with, who stayed the night with us at Steve's apartment. That Josh."
"No way." "Yep." "No. There's- there's no way." "Believe me, it was him." "How are you so sure?" Tyler asked. "Because we hung out for like two and a half hours", Lucas said. "You did?!" Tyler asked. "Yes! I'm sure it was Josh!" Lucas laughed. "What the hell was he doing in Detroit?!" Tyler asked as his jaw had dropped. "Wait was he, like, visiting Colin?" He asked. "Nope. Didn't even see Colin", Lucas said. "Then why the hell was he in Detroit!" Tyler pressed.
"Again, believe it or not... Josh lives there", Lucas said. Tyler let out a scoff. "He lives in LA", he said. "Right, that's true. He did. He used to. But now, he lives in Detroit because he goes to college there", Lucas said.
"No he fucking doesn't", Tyler said. "Yeah he does." "No, he fucking doesn't!" "Yes, he fucking does!" Lucas said. "Just take my word for it, Jeez! Josh lives in Detroit, he's been there since August, he's been living in the same city you've lived in for several months. I saw him when I was in my car, I called his number, we hung out at the Apple Cafe, up until when you called me to come and get you", Lucas said.
"Dude", Steve said. "I can't believe Josh's been living there for months already", he said. "And we had no idea." "Wait but... You're not kidding, are you? That was really Josh? Truly?" Tyler asked softly. "Yeah, Ty. I'm not kidding. That really was Josh, I promise", Lucas said.
"But why- why wouldn't he tell us that he- he lives there?" Tyler asked. "He probably never had the guts to tell us", Lucas said. "Right, remember how Michael and the guys always said that Josh was so scared you'd all think he was stalking you? Of course he wouldn't have the guts to tell you that he now suddenly lives in the city he knows you're living in because you're with me", Steve said. "...were with me", he corrected himself.
"And... I don't mean this in a mean or rude way, but... You never really accepted him as your friend", Lucas said. "You always just called him your fan." "...because he is", Tyler softly said. "Oh for fuck's s- okay y'know what? I'm gonna pretend that you didn't say that 'cause I'm not getting into that again", Lucas said.
"Doesn't matter anyways. Steve and I aren't together now, so I don't live in Detroit anymore", Tyler said, a slight bitterness in his voice. "Ty..." Lucas trailed. "No, it's fine. Really, I'm fine. I live here, in Columbus in this apartment. Four hours from Detroit", he said as he started to get up. "Food should be here soon."
~~
Mannn 🥹
Ty and Stevie and Lukie are making it woooork they love each other so much fr
Love me some platonic soulmates
But alsoooo Lucas dropped the J bomb (aka mentioning that he saw Josh) Ty doesn't know how to process that infoooo
What did you think? I'd love to hear ♥️ until the next one! All my love ♥️