Let's Recelebrate (a Joshler...

By InthenameofJoshDun

35.9K 4.8K 4.1K

Joshua Dun struggled with mental health. When his new friend Jenna introduced him to a certain artist that wr... More

Foreword
⭒ I ⭒
⭒ II ⭒
⭒ III ⭒
⭒ IV ⭒
⭒ V ⭒
⭒ VI ⭒
⭒ VII ⭒
⭒ VIII ⭒
⭒ IX ⭒
⭒ X ⭒
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⭒ XV ⭒
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⭒ XIX ⭒
⭒ XX ⭒
⭒ XXI ⭒
⭒ XXII ⭒
⭒ XXIII ⭒
⭒ XXIV ⭒ (new actual update!)
⭒ XXV ⭒
List of songs in this story (ch1-ch25)
⭒ XXVI ⭒
⭒ XXVII ⭒
⭒ XXVIII ⭒
⭒ XXIX ⭒
⭒ XXX ⭒
⭒ XXXI ⭒
⭒ XXXII ⭒
⭒ XXXIII ⭒
⭒ XXXIV ⭒
⭒ XXXV ⭒
⭒ XXXVI ⭒
⭒ XXXVII ⭒
⭒ XXXVIII ⭒
⭒ XXXIX ⭒
⭒ XL ⭒
⭒ XLI ⭒
⭒ XLII ⭒
⭒ XLIII ⭒
⭒ XLIV ⭒
⭒ XLV ⭒
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⭒ XLVII ⭒
⭒ XLVIII ⭒
⭒ XLIX ⭒
⭒ L ⭒
⭒ LI ⭒
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⭒ LV ⭒
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⭒ LXV ⭒
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⭒ LXVII ⭒
⭒ LXVIII ⭒
⭒ LXIX ⭒
⭒ LXX ⭒
⭒ LXXI ⭒
⭒ LXXII ⭒
⭒ LXXIII ⭒
⭒ LXXIV ⭒
⭒ LXXV ⭒
NEW SHORT STORY: I Don't Want To Miss a Thing (a short Joshler story)
⭒ LXXVI ⭒
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⭒ LXXVIII ⭒
⭒ LXXIX ⭒
⭒ LXXX ⭒
⭒ LXXXI ⭒
⭒ LXXXII ⭒
⭒ LXXXIII ⭒
⭒ LXXXIV ⭒
⭒ LXXXV ⭒
⭒ LXXXVI ⭒
⭒ LXXXVII ⭒
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⭒ XC ⭒
⭒ XCI ⭒
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⭒ XCIX ⭒
⭒ C ⭒
⭒ CI ⭒
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⭒ CIV ⭒
⭒ CV ⭒
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⭒ CIX ⭒
⭒ CX ⭒
⭒ CXI ⭒
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⭒ CXIV ⭒
⭒ CXV ⭒
⭒ CXVI ⭒
⭒ CXVII ⭒
⭒ CXVIII ⭒
⭒ CXIX ⭒
⭒ CXX ⭒
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⭒ CXXVI ⭒
⭒ CXXVII ⭒
⭒ CXXVIII ⭒
⭒ CXXIX ⭒
⭒ CXXX + CXXXI ⭒
⭒ CXXXII ⭒
⭒ CXXXIII ⭒
⭒ CXXXIV ⭒
⭒ CXXXV ⭒
⭒ CXXXVI ⭒
⭒ CXXXVII ⭒
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⭒ CXL ⭒
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⭒ CXLV ⭒
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⭒ CXLVIII ⭒
⭒ CXLIX ⭒
⭒ CL⭒
⭒ CLI⭒
⭒ CLII⭒
⭒ CLIII⭒
⭒ CLIV⭒
⭒ CLV ⭒
⭒ CLVI ⭒
⭒ CLVII ⭒
⭒ CLVIII ⭒
⭒ CLIX ⭒
⭒ CLX ⭒
⭒ CLXI ⭒
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⭒ CLXIII ⭒
⭒ CLXIV ⭒
⭒ CLXV ⭒
⭒ CLXVI ⭒
⭒ CLXVII ⭒
⭒ CLXVIII ⭒
⭒ CLXIX ⭒
⭒ CLXX ⭒ 🎄
⭒ CLXXI ⭒
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⭒ CLXXIII ⭒
⭒ CLXXIV ⭒
⭒ CLXXV ⭒
⭒ CLXXVI ⭒
⭒ CLXXVII ⭒
⭒ CLXXVIII ⭒
⭒ CLXXIX ⭒
⭒ CLXXX ⭒
⭒ CLXXXI ⭒
⭒ CLXXXII ⭒
⭒ CLXXXIII ⭒
⭒ CLXXXIV ⭒
⭒ CLXXXV ⭒
⭒ CLXXXVI ⭒
⭒ CLXXXVII ⭒
⭒ CLXXXVIII ⭒
⭒ CLXXXIX ⭒
⭒ CXC ⭒
⭒ CXCI ⭒
⭒ CXCII ⭒
⭒ CXCIII ⭒
⭒ CXCIV ⭒
⭒ CXCV ⭒
⭒ CXCVI ⭒
♡ On to book 2: Final part of book 1 ♡

⭒ LXXXVIII ⭒

165 22 15
By InthenameofJoshDun

Hi friends!! New chapter! It's been a few days but I had a super busy week. Now I finally get to publish a new chapter for you! <3

I hope you'll enjoy it! Very heavily Josh-focused this time! Only a little bit of Tyguy in here. I feel like that's a nice change from the usual more Ty-focused chapters haha. I hope you'll like it!

Thank you for reading and for your support and sticking around <3 means the world to me. Love you all <3 let's dive in!

Word count: 5653

~~

"Josh?"

"Mhm?"

"I know you keep saying you're fine, but I know you're not", Jenna said.

Josh sighed softly to himself as put some chocolate mouse in a bowl, preparing a small dessert for them. "Really, I'm fine, Jen", he said, and it came out more stoic than he meant to.

"You're not. You're being... distant", she said. "Sorry", Josh replied. "Josh", she sighed softly. "Did I do something wrong?" She asked.

Josh stopped what he was doing, holding the spoon above the bowl. He stared at the chocolatey goodness, then bit his lip. He wished he would've realized how he felt about Jenna before Lucas and Tyler had called him. Then he could've mentioned it to Tyler; he could've talked about it with him. But that wasn't gonna happen now, unfortunately. He didn't have Tyler's number, and he sure as hell wasn't gonna call Lucas. Neither was he gonna message Tyler, even though he knew he could. He just didn't really believe Tyler that he was being serious about that.

Josh decided then and there, as he thought about what Tyler would do, to be honest with her. He wanted to tell her, 'cause the things he was feeling right now, and how he felt like she'd betrayed him and overstepped boundaries, was a terrible feeling he wished he didn't have.

"Yeah", he spoke softly. "You did."

"What did I do?" Jenna asked with a worried frown. "I felt like I might've done something wrong but I don't- I don't know what it is", she said. Josh put the spoon down as he turned around to look at her, then looked down. "I..." he trailed, then ran a hand down his face. "I... trusted you", he said softly. Jenna's frown deepened. "I told you what happened in Detroit because I trusted you not to tell anyone. I didn't want Ashley to know, Jen", he said, swallowing difficultly as he felt his eyes burn slightly. "I didn't want her to know. That's why I didn't tell her; that's why she didn't know yet. Because I didn't want her to know. But you just went ahead and decided to tell her what happened without my consent", he said, his breath hitching slightly.

"And I told you to stop, but you just continued after that too. I... didn't realize how much I hated that you did that right away, but the more time passed, the more... The more I realize I absolutely hate that you did that", he said softly. "You- I didn't want my sister to know. You shouldn't have assumed it was okay to tell her", he said. He let out a shaky breath right after.

Expressing his feelings like this was definitely not something he was used to, or something that was easy for him. He felt pretty bad about it, but hoped that Tyler would be, in a way, proud of him for being open and honest about it.

"That's why you're so distant with me?" She asked. Josh felt himself growing frustrated. "Yes, Jen. That's exactly why I'm being distant. I don't care if you see it as a valid reason or not. I don't care if you think it's dumb and I'm weak and I shouldn't take it so serious. This is how I feel. I can't help it. It was serious in my eyes, and I really wish you hadn't done that 'cause I feel like- like I can't trust you with a lot of things now. And it hurts, it hurts really badly, 'cause you're my best friend but right now, it... It doesn't feel like that", he softly spoke the last words.

"Joshie, Josh, I didn't mean to imply that it wasn't serious", she said. "You're right, I shouldn't have done that. I'm sorry Joshie, I really am. I... I shouldn't have assumed it was okay to tell your sister without asking if I could and why you hadn't told her yet", she said, and Josh saw the sadness in her eyes. "I'm sorry. I really mean it. I... I don't wanna drift away from you Josh, I don't wanna lose you and I don't wanna spend the last days we can be together being distant from each other", she said.

"I... I understand if that's what you want and if you can't forgive me, or if you want me to go home. I just... I just hope you would at least forgive me partly, or... or accept my apology. 'Cause I really am sorry", she softly said.

Josh bit his lip, closing his eyes as he rubbed his forehead. "I don't wanna lose you either", he said softly. "I really don't. You're, like... all I have. I don't wanna drift away from you", he said as he dropped his hand and he looked at Jenna. "I just... don't know how I'm supposed to... to trust you right now", he said softly. "I know, I understand that", Jenna nodded softly. "But... can I stay..?" She asked. Josh nodded softly. "...yeah, yeah of course", he said, forcing a soft smile. "I wouldn't give up on our friendship that quickly." "Me neither", Jenna smiled softly. "I know you might not be able to take my word for it, but I promise I will never do it again. I wanna be the best possible best friend I can be so I will never do it again", she said. "I hope so", Josh softly said. "I promise", Jenna assured him as she pulled him in to a hug, and Josh felt some hesitation, before he embraced her tightly. "I love you", she whispered. "I love you too", Josh replied softly.

//

Tyler found himself asking Lucas to come over pretty much every weekend after their shenanigans, and that first time being together with Steve and Lucas both, sure wasn't the last. Not even of that Thanksgiving weekend. And definitely not just strictly in one of their bedrooms either.

Tyler felt like he was on a high. Being with his lover, being with his best friend, seeing how much he was growing on social media and how he was gaining fans every day, seeing the feedback and the success of his single with I Prevail. Life was going really well at the moment, and he felt really good about it. But it also scared him, being at a point in life where everything was going his way and he felt so good about it, because he was scared it wouldn't last. He was pretty sure it wouldn't. But for now, he tried to enjoy it when it did.

December rolled around and on the weekend of the week of Tyler's birthday, Tyler's family came to Detroit, together with Lucas, Michael, Mark, Jordan, Shane and Shap. Steve and Tyler decided that they would throw a party for all of them at the same time, because Tyler didn't feel like spending several days on his birthday. So the big house with the lake view was filled with Steve's family, Tyler's family, Lucas, Tyler's other guys, and all the I Prevail guys. Steve arranged a food catering company so they wouldn't have to cook for so many people themselves, they played music and danced and Tyler ate a few small bites, realizing he still didn't feel too comfortable eating a lot with a big group of people around him. In the evening, Steve would prepare something for him to eat dinner properly. Once Steve and Lucas brought out the cake, though, he promised himself to eat a full slice, for both of them. He did it for Steve and Lucas, for the most important people in his life, because they went all out on his birthday cake and he was so appreciative.

"Ready?" Brian asked. "Never", Tyler said with a soft smile. "...but let's see how it goes", he said. He held his breath as the last minute counted down, and his tweet was sent, including a link.

it's my birthday today. I don't need any gifts. your support and love is your gift to me. but I wanna give something in return, though. my friends from I Prevail helped me. give it a listen.

"Now it's our turn..." Eric trailed as he opened the band's twitter account, going to Tyler's then, and he quote tweeted it.

Thought you heard the last of us together? Not even close! Here's our second single with our wonderful birthday boy Tyler. Happy birthday, Tyguy. We love you. Let's change the world of music together.

"Second single is out there now, officially", Gabe smiled. "I can't believe we just dropped it like that, without any hints", Tyler said as he shook his head lightly. "They're gonna love it", Lucas smiled. "Might even enjoy Deceivers even more than Crossroads." "Oh man I wouldn't be able to choose. It's like having twins and then having to choose your favorite one of those twins", Steve said. "...okay why twins specifically?" Eric asked. "Because Deceivers and Crossroads go together!" Steve said. "I- yeah you're right", Eric hummed with a chuckle.

"I hope they like it", Tyler sighed softly.

I hope Josh likes it, he caught himself thinking.

//

A week before Christmas, Josh was doing some last homework before their Christmas break. Jenna would be coming home in a few days, and after Christmas they were going on their trip. Josh was so excited, but also so nervous for it. He hadn't seen Colin in a few months, and he hadn't seen Jenna since the Thanksgiving break. He hadn't seen Tyler in a long time either, and he had no idea what to expect. The last two times he went to see Tyler, a lot happened, and deep down Josh hoped that something similar would happen again, but he didn't want to count on it in case he'd get disappointed.

His phone buzzed, and Josh figured it was Jonathon, so he didn't pick it up. He'd reply later; he needed to finish this homework first. But then his phone buzzed again, and for some reason, his curiosity got the best of him and he grabbed his phone. His eyes widened as he saw the message.

Lucas: Joshua! Hiii!

Lucas: I'm in LA rn! Wanna meet up? If you got time ofc!!

Josh's jaw dropped. Lucas was texting him? He was in LA?? Asking if Josh wanted to meet up?!

He stared at the texts for a little while, before he brought himself back to reality and he held his breath as he replied.

Josh: Hi Lucas! I didn't know you'd be in LA! Of course, I got time (: when and where? Let me know!

He hit sent and he thought his nerves would calm down a little, but they didn't. He impatiently waited for the text back, still holding his breath. Then his phone buzzed in his hand again.

Lucas: Great!! You got time rn? I got time ((: Can you come to the subway station near Will Rogers Beach? I'll meet you there by the exit if you wanna come now!

Josh checked the time on his phone, then bit his lip. His parents weren't home yet, as they were working at the family business today, so he could leave and tell them he was with a friend before they could ask him more about it. He'd have to skip dinner, but he didn't mind that. Maybe he could get something to eat on the way home.

He hadn't finished his homework yet, but he hoped Jon would let him copy it. He thought the plan through once more, then started typing again.

Josh: Sure! It will take me about 45 min I think. Is that okay?

Lucas: Of course!! I'll wait for you there (: See you soon Josh!!

Josh: See you in a bit!! :)

He felt his chest rise and fall quickly, his heart beating in his chest heavily as he quickly changed into something else - wanting to look better presentable in front of Lucas - before he grabbed his stuff and he ran down the stairs, where he was stopped by Ashley.

"Where are you going?" She asked. "Just... out. With a friend. Grabbing food and stuff. I won't be home for dinner, I'll text mom and dad about it", he said. "Are they okay with that?" Ashley frowned, not yet very used to Josh just going out without asking his parents for permission. "They gotta be", Josh shrugged, grabbing his jacket. "See you tonight", he said, and without giving her a chance to reply he closed the door behind him and rushed down the street.

Forty-five minutes after he left home, Josh got out of the subway at the station Lucas asked him to be at, and he nervously walked up the stairs. Only three other people had left the subway at the same stop, and once he got outside there were hardly any people around the entrance - it was easy to spot Lucas. Josh smiled softly as he saw that Lucas had changed his hair again - dreadlocks, mid-length, framing his face beautifully.

Right as Josh took a deep breath to walk up to him, Lucas turned around and he spotted Josh. "Joshua!" he exclaimed happily as he walked up to him, meeting in the middle as he wrapped his arms around Josh to hug him tightly, then he pressed a kiss on Josh's temple and Josh felt his chest tighten and a blush rise on to his cheeks.

"Hi Lucas", he said softly, a smile on his face as he gave him a tight hug. "It's so good to see you again", Lucas smiled widely as he stepped back. "I'm really happy to see you again too", Josh said. "You changed your hair again", he smiled softly. "Oh! Yeah, I did", Lucas smiled. "I had the same hairstyle for a long time but once I decided to kind of... get creative with it, change it once every few weeks or months, it just got a lot easier to express myself and be proud of the way I look, y'know?" He smiled. "Changing my hairstyle has definitely made me more confident."

"Maybe I should try it some time then", Josh chuckled. "I can't recommend it enough", Lucas chuckled. "What are you doing in LA?" Josh then asked. "Half my family lives here! The other half lives in Cleveland. LA fam came over for Thanksgiving to our town, now it's our turn to be here for Christmas", he smiled. "Tyler's not happy about me being here now, though", he chuckled.

"Well of course, he doesn't wanna miss you", Josh smiled. "Yeah. Especially during Christmas", Lucas chuckled. "He's gonna have to suck it up for a bit more than a week, though. I'll facetime him plenty, but I can't be there during Christmas this time. I'm already flying back sooner than the rest of my family to be at his New Year's show", Lucas smiled. "You're going too, I heard! The plans for the show are just great", Lucas smiled.

Josh wanted to reply, when he felt something against his leg and he looked down. "Oh! I haven't introduced you yet! This is Pumbaa!" Lucas said and Josh smiled at the doggo looking up at him, patting its head. "I didn't know you have a dog", he smiled. "Oh it's not mine, it's from my family here in LA! But she's my best bud. I look forward to long walks with her the most every time I get to LA", Lucas chuckled.

"Which is what I was planning on doing, so maybe I should've let you know sooner that I wanted to walk her", he chuckled. "Do you wanna join us?" Lucas asked. "Yeah, yeah of course", Josh smiled. "Awesome. Let's go to the beach, it's her favorite spot", Lucas said and they walked in the direction of the beach.

They made some small talk about Josh's recent life and activities - mainly homework and tests - and Lucas's family in LA, when he spoke up about something else.

"See those rocks over there?" Lucas asked as he pointed at them. Josh followed the direction he pointed in and he nodded. "That's where Tyler and I met", Lucas told him. Josh raised his eyebrows as he looked at Lucas. "No way. Really?" He asked, feeling his chest tighten because of the information - Josh always loved learning more about Tyler. Things like this were definitely included in that.

"Yeah, really", Lucas smiled. "He sat there, I was walking Pumbaa. Her toy landed behind him and I asked him to throw it back on to the beach for Pumbaa, then we started talking", he smiled at the memory. "We stayed for hours. Sat on those rocks talking for a long time at first, then we walked her together, went out for food after. We hit it off really quickly", Lucas said.

"Were you into him, like, right away?" Josh asked curiously, and then realized he probably shouldn't have asked that, but Lucas didn't seem to mind. "Well I surely was interested very quickly", Lucas chuckled. "I was convinced that he was a really great person very early on. I thought he was really handsome, and gentle. He was sweet... nice to talk to. Asked a lot of things, he smiled a lot, he made eye contact and his eyes seemed to shine whenever I reciprocated it, he'd smile shyly or excitedly and I really hoped he was into me too. When he kissed my cheek at the end of the night, I could pretty confidently say that we were both interested in each other in a way that wasn't just friendly", he chuckled.

"That kind of sounds like a... Like a modern-day fairy tale", Josh said. "Oh it was", Lucas smiled. "We fell in love so quickly, and so hard. The entirety of the beginning of our relationship was here in LA. Even stayed the night at his hotel. A bit illegally, I gotta add, as he had paid for one person only even though it was a double bedroom", he chuckled. "That didn't happen the first night, by the way. But not many days after that", he shrugged.

"It felt good. Felt right. We felt like we just clicked and it just had to be that way even though we had just met days prior. Maybe we didn't work out because of that. Maybe we rushed into it and we didn't realize how differently we wanted our lives to be eventually in time. We could've... saved us a lot of pain", he said.

"But you would've missed out on a whole relationship", Josh said. "...that's true", Lucas said. "I don't think I'd ever want that. No matter how much it hurt, I'd never wanna lose that part of my history. Of our history together. It was a very important part of my life and I'd never wanna forget Tyler", he said.

"I think that's why you became such close best friends too", Josh said. "Because you had that foundation of your relationship together. You got to know each other in ways many people will never get to know each other, you've been through things together that most people wouldn't even go through with their partner, let alone their best friend. All of that made you soulmates", Josh said.

"I forgot you're the one who told Tyler about the multiple soulmates thing", Lucas smiled. "I'm glad you did. It helped Tyler so, so much. You have no idea how much you helped him. And me too, honestly. If it wasn't for you having that conversation with Ty... maybe we wouldn't even be friends right now", Lucas said.

That shocked Josh more than he had expected. Yeah, he'd had that conversation with Tyler. And yeah, he knew that Tyler had thanked him multiple times because of it. But he couldn't possibly believe - or understand - that he was part of the reason why Lucas and Tyler were best friends, or even friends at all. The fact that he had had such an impact on Tyler, with words that he had thought were simple and didn't hold as much wisdom as Tyler had apparently thought, was shocking.

"...you really think so?" Josh asked softly. "I... yeah, I do", Lucas nodded. "I mean... When you and Jen found them in that forest, when you had that conversation with Tyler, he was still pretty livid at me", he said as he shoved his hands on his pockets. "Still very angry at me for breaking up with him, but mostly... Anger because of sadness, and because of the fact that he was so confused and he was trying so hard to understand something that still didn't make sense to him, at all, until you helped him make sense of it. That night changed everything for us. For our future, the way we are now. You've been a huge part of that. No one was able to do what you did for him. For us", Lucas said.

"I don't even know what to say to that", Josh muttered. Lucas let out a soft laugh as he wrapped his arm around Josh's neck and he gave him a side hug. "You just mean a lot to us. That's all", he smiled softly. Josh returned it. "It's very hard to believe that's true, but... I wanna believe it", he said. "Well it's true, so you might as well", Lucas hummed as he let go of Josh.

Josh looked down as he felt Pumbaa's snout pushing against his leg. Josh crouched down to pat her. "You can pick her up if you want. She loves cuddles", Lucas said. Josh looked up at him for confirmation, and then he picked the dog up in his arms. As he stood upright, Pumbaa licked the side of his face and Josh squeezed his eyes shut as he laughed, which Lucas thought was simply adorable. He grabbed his phone and he snapped a picture of Josh and Pumbaa.

He opened his chat with Tyler and he sent the picture. In the background, the rocks he and Tyler met on were visible behind Josh.

Lucas: Familiar boy at a familiar place. :)

He hit sent and wanted to pocket his phone, but he got a text back right away.

Tyler: you're with josh??

Lucas: Yep!! :)

Tyler: what the fuck are you doing with josh.

Lucas: Just meeting up with my friend! I was nearby. Asked if he wanted to hang out!

Tyler: luke...

Lucas: Ty...

Tyler: why are you doing this

Lucas: Because he's my friend too, baby. I wanted to walk Pumbaa at her favorite beach and thought Josh might like to tag along :)

Tyler: okay but why do you have to go to the place where we met

Lucas: It's Pumbaa's favorite beach! I just said that

Tyler: did you tell him that's where we met?

Lucas: Yeah, why?

Tyler: ughhhh I can't believe you

Lucas: What's wrong with him knowing where we met!

Tyler: idk. I just haven't been back there myself. guess that's what makes it hard.

Lucas: Then we should come back here when we're both here. Or you should come back here with Steve if I won't be in LA when you are. It's nice to be back and remember how we met, and how we were.

Tyler: no matter who we'll bring, it'll always be our spot. right?

Lucas: Of course, baby. Always our spot.

Tyler: mhm alright then

Lucas: You love me. :)

Tyler: I do. I love you.

Lucas: I love you too baby <3

Tyler: ok go continue hanging out with josh behind my back now

Lucas: It's not behind your back now that you know we're hanging out rn :)))

Tyler: *sighhhh* call me later, I miss you

Lucas: I will baby, love youuuu

Tyler: love you.

"Sorry for that", Lucas said as he pocketed his phone. "I texted Ty a pic and then he actually texted back right away so I had to text him for a bit", he chuckled. "How... how's he doing?" Josh asked, still holding Pumbaa in his arms, but his face was more serious now.

"Ty's doing well at the moment. I think he might be doing better than he ever has before", Lucas smiled. "There's always things that don't go great, or things that make him anxious or scared. But right now... Overall, he's actually doing really well", Lucas smiled. That made Josh smile too; it made him happy to know Tyler was doing well. At least one of the two of them was.

"That makes me happy", Josh said. "Have you talked to Tyler lately?" Lucas asked and Josh shook his head no as he put Pumbaa down, not saying anything else.

"So after you and he called..." Lucas trailed. "We haven't talked", Josh said, then swallowed a little difficultly. "Ugh", Lucas sighed. "W-what?" Josh frowned. "Nothing, I just... Wish Tyler would stop doing that", he said. "Doing what?" Josh asked. "I wish he'd stop telling himself not to talk to you!" Lucas said. Josh's frown deepened; he didn't know how to react to that.

"Okay I trust that you won't tell Tyler that I'm telling you this", Lucas said with a soft laugh. "I- I won't", Josh blushed. "Good. The problem with Tyler is that he... He's afraid of having to miss people. He's afraid he will miss people he cares about when they're not around, so he just rather chooses not to have them in his life at all. I know he loves you, he wants to spend time with you; he caves every time you're close and he loves it when you're able to spend time with him. But once you leave, he decides he doesn't wanna miss you because you're so far away, and it's much easier for him to pretend that he's not your friend at all 'cause then he can't miss you and he can't feel that pain", Lucas said.

Josh stared at Lucas, trying to process the information that the man had just given him. He was hardly able to do so; he felt his head was dizzy, his eyes leaving Lucas's to blankly look in a different direction.

"I- I always think I... annoy him", he then softly said. "That you annoy Tyler?" Lucas asked. Josh nodded weakly. "Oh no baby, no not at all. He loves you so much! I know he wished you'd live closer. I even heard him tell you that. He genuinely means that. He just wishes it was actually true so he could actually be your friend but he stops himself from having important 'long-distance' friendships because he's afraid of feeling hurt because of it", Lucas said.

Josh felt his eyes sting, and Lucas noticed it right away. "C'mere", he gently told Josh, who walked to Lucas and he buried his face in Lucas's chest, as the man wrapped his arms around Josh tightly to comfort him.

//

"Are you hungry? I could eat", Lucas said. "Oh I'd really appreciate some food, honestly", Josh chuckled. "Been hungry for a while now." "You should've said something! C'mon, there's a nice place nearby where Tyler and I had dinner the night we met. Do you like fish and chips? The ones they have here are to die for", Lucas said.

"Oh I haven't had that in a long time but I'd love to try it again", Josh said as he followed Lucas and Pumbaa to the restaurant. "Wait you said you and Tyler ate here together when you met?" Josh then asked and Lucas nodded. "I had no idea about his eating disorder at the time. He actually ate well when we were here together", Lucas said as they reached the food place and they sat down at a table outside, overlooking the ocean.

"Can I... ask about that?" Josh asked, carefully. "Of course. Whatever you want", Lucas assured him. Josh nodded. "How... How did you handle it? What was it like? I know that Tyler said he hid it from you, and he lied to you a lot about it... But did you suspect anything? Or was he able to hide it so well that you didn't expect anything at all?" Josh asked.

"Well, it was... Complicated", Lucas said. "When we met, I had no idea. I mentioned I spent a night at his hotel here in LA right? That evening, he went downstairs to smoke a last cigarette for that day and I was in the hotel room and he was gone for longer than I thought he would be gone. When I wanted to go look for him, he was passed out on the hotel hallway floor", Lucas said.

"Holy shit", Josh muttered. Lucas nodded softly. "I thought it was probably exhaustion or something. I didn't think it was from an eating disorder, not at all-", he spoke, then they got interrupted by the waiter and they gave them their order.

"Where was I? Oh right", Lucas said as he remembered. "I wish I realized it then, but I didn't. Like I said, when we ate here together, he ate well. Later when he was in the hospital he admitted that he made himself throw up everything once he'd gotten back at the hotel, and I had no idea. So after we had dinner here, that first time we met, he made himself throw up everything. Then those few days later he passed out in the hotel hallway, and I didn't know anything yet either. He was thin, yeah, but not so thin that it was evidently from an eating disorder. He always said he was just built like that and I genuinely believed him", Lucas said.

"Then at one point as we got together, I noticed how he declined food a lot, and we'd have small arguments about it, and he would eat little portions and whenever I'd say something about it, he'd get angry. One time we had a full on screaming match on the streets because I was expressing my concerns and Tyler wanted me to shut the fuck up about it. I was desperate, he was furious. He ran away from me, then fell on the street because his body was so weak because of the lack of food, and stupidly I let him convince me that he was okay with food because I told him to prove it to me and go out to dinner with me. We had a full three course meal and that convinced me that he was okay with food, he just probably wasn't hungry a lot because of stress, but later on I found out he also made himself throw up at the restaurant to get everything out of his body as fast as possible. I stupidly let him fool me many times", Lucas sighed as he rubbed his forehead.

"I saw him faint twice or maybe three times, while in reality he fainted so many times when I was close. When I was asleep, or when I was out of the hotel room, when I was in the next room... until it happened on stage", Lucas said.

"And it was heartbreaking to me, so much so that I ran on stage and I couldn't care less about anyone seeing me 'cause I was so worried about my baby. But looking back... I'm so, so happy that that happened. That he fainted on stage, in public. That everyone saw it; his crew, his friends; me. I was so caught up in getting to him that someone else called an ambulance already and he couldn't disagree. It's one of the best things that could've happened to him and while he hates it, and he hates thinking about it and being reminded of it, it's what ultimately saved him. Who knows what would've happened if he had kept lying and he had continued to convince us all that he was eating fine. I could've lost him; you could've lost him. I really don't wanna think about what could've happened, honestly", Lucas said.

"Yeah me neither", Josh muttered. "I... I always thought Tyler must've hated that happen, especially once the video got out on social media... but you're right", Josh said. "If that didn't happen, then things could've been a lot worse", he said. Lucas nodded. "I'm glad he's finally 24 now, too. He's been telling everyone he's 24 for months now just because of all the things that happened when he was 23. Now it's officially behind him and he's doing pretty well, so it's a good start of this age. I hope it'll continue to be like this", Lucas smiled.

"Me too", Josh replied. "He really deserves it." "He really does, yeah", Lucas smiled softly.

~~

Lucas and Joshie hung ouuuuut! Aw man they're already close even though they have only hung out a few times and it makes me happyyyy

What did you think? I'd love to hear your opinion!! Joshie and Jenna made uppp but Joshie hasn't forgotten about it just yet. And Tyguy spent his bday surrounded by all of the people he loves the most :') (except joshie of course)

I'd love to hear your opinion on this chapter!! I love your feedback and I hope you enjoyed it and I can't wait to update again for you. Until the next one <3 love you!

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