Goooooood morning/afternoon/evening/night, my loves! It's Monday & that means there's a new chapter! Woohoo!
Now that Tyler's back in the US, there's some things he needs to work through, so that's the main theme of this chapter. But doooon't worry, there's soooo much Joshie content coming up in the next chapters!
This one's a super long one! It's over 7k words. I hope you'll enjoy it! I love you! Don't forget to leave a vote, and I'd also, as always, love to hear what you thought of this chapter!
Thank you for your continued support. I'd love to update again tomorrow, so I hope enough of you get to read it before then! ♥️
Love you, enjoy ♥️
Word count: 7344
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"How has life been when I was gone?" Tyler asked Lucas as he lit a cigarette, before he put his feet against the balcony railing. He took a drag from his cigarette as he looked at the night sky.
"Which answer do you want: the short answer, or the brutally honest one?" Lucas asked. "Honest one. Always", Tyler replied. Lucas nodded, shifting in his chair as he pulled his sleeves down over his hands, since the October air started getting cold. "It's been... different", he said. "Different from the other times you left for tour. It was... lonely, honestly", Lucas said. "Struggled more with it than I'd like to admit."
"You did?" Tyler asked as he turned to Lucas more, now pulling his feet up on the seat. Lucas nodded. "You want me to be honest, so I will", he said and Tyler nodded. "Please do. Please be honest with me", he said. "I will", Lucas promised, but he didn't continue right away. He let out a sigh as he ran a hand down his face. "The honest truth is that I missed you way more than I have ever missed you at any moment in our lives together. When you went on tour before, I knew you'd come back and be mine again. When we broke up and I was here and you were at your place, I knew you were nearby and we saw each other at your show, we spent time together still... Even the time where we didn't see each other much, I knew you were in Columbus, and whenever I was there for work I felt close to you. This time, though..." he trailed.
"This time it felt real, and I felt like I had... truly lost you", he said. "You were so far away, over there in Europe, and I didn't have that thing to hold on to where I knew you'd come back and be mine like I usually did. You weren't somewhere else in this country, but in a whole different continent. We didn't text the way we used to, because we are over, romantically. Of course I got you as my best friend, and we texted and called quite a lot throughout the tour and we still tell each other we love each other which is obviously true. And that's how I want us to be, and we should be. It's just..." he muttered, shaking his head softly. Tyler knew he had a hard time coming clean about his thoughts.
"There were moments where I truly thought I made a huge mistake, and where I wanted to ask you to come back to me, and where I wanted to try again and change for you, try to be perfect for you. There were moments where I cried myself to sleep because I lost you. The first few weeks after you left, I feel like I... I mourned our relationship, in a way", he said. "Then you let me know you had a crush on Steve and in that moment I was genuinely as happy as I told you I was, because I want you to be happy and find your person so badly, but it also made it easier for me to convince myself that what I did was the right thing, and it was easier to start truly letting you go. I actually thought I did that after a few weeks, and I am truly certain that I made the right call and we made the best decision and we will be best friends for the rest of our lives. That's all true. I just... didn't really tell you exactly how much I struggled with that process, with how I got to that point of truly feeling that that was the truth", Lucas said.
"Once you were in front of my front door I realized how badly I still wanted to kiss you, and you kind of gave me a heart attack when you actually did", Lucas chuckled. "Obviously that was a slip up and that wasn't intentional, I know that. And I would never kiss you again, I won't, because you have an amazing lover and I am your best friend, and that's all we are", Lucas said.
"When I look at you now, I see my best friend. I truly see my best friend that I love and cherish and care so much about", Lucas said. Tyler nodded as he took a drag from his cigarette. "Do you... are you- are you still... in... love with me?" He asked carefully. Lucas sighed softly as he looked at Tyler, into his eyes. Tyler looked at his, holding his breath which he hadn't even realized he was doing. "Yeah", Lucas admitted softly. "I am", he said. "That's the honest truth. But Tyler, that does not in any way, shape or form, mean that I am not your best friend first and foremost, or that I am not genuinely happy that you have Steve, or that I somehow don't like him because I know he is your boyfriend, or that it hurts me to see you and him together. It's nothing like that, not at all. If you would ask me to come back to you now, and break up with Steve, I would say no. If you'd ask me that in three months, or a year, I'd still say no because I do not want to be with you like that. Not anymore, not now, not in the future. We made the best decision, I know that we did. But I just... haven't been able to fully rid myself of those feelings for you just yet", Lucas said. "Working on it, slowly getting there, just... not fully there yet", he said.
Tyler nodded softly, taking another drag from his cigarette. He extinguished it in the ash tray that Lucas had gotten specially for Tyler many months ago - which honestly felt like it had been many lifetimes. He swallowed difficultly.
"Yeah same for me", he softly said. Lucas looked up, a bit shocked, but definitely surprised. "What?" He asked. Tyler let out a shaky breath, feeling a tear run down his cheek. He wiped it away with his right hand. "I'm not... I'm not entirely over you either", Tyler softly said, feeling like he couldn't swallow anymore. He managed to do so, difficultly, feeling more tears as his eyes stung and he let out another shaky, deep breath as he looked up at the sky. "Which fucking sucks", he whispered. "'Cause I have a god damn boyfriend. And I love Steve, so fucking much", Tyler said. "Not even just love. I know I am truly in love with him, I love everything about him", Tyler said.
"But you're- you're still..." Tyler trailed. "If my heart was a mansion, Steve would occupy every room but the attic. You're... You're in there", Tyler softly said. "I know I am in love with this man but fuck, sometimes it feels like I'm betraying him because I- a part of me is still in love with you too and I- I don't know how to tell him that", Tyler said, more tears rolling down his face. "How the fuck do you convince someone you're in love with them but there's still part of your heart that's occupied by someone else? I don't fucking know how to do that", Tyler cried. "I don't- I don't wanna lose him, and I- I- fuck, Luke, I don't fucking know what I'm fucking doing. Am I betraying him? Am I- am I lying to him? Should I- did I make a mistake by asking him to be my boyfriend, should I let him go so I can't hurt him? I don't fucking know what to do", he was basically sobbing at that point. It killed Lucas to see Tyler that way, and he moved over to pull his best friend into a tight hug.
He didn't say anything; he just held him, until Tyler had calmed down. It took a while, and he hadn't stopped crying, but he was calmer, and he could talk better again. "You haven't talked to Steve about that yet, hm?" Lucas asked and Tyler shook his head no. "He's- he's definitely gonna leave when I do", he sniffled. "And I don't wanna lose him, I love him so much", he stuttered and Lucas wiped some of Tyler's tears away.
"I don't know Steve the way you know him, Ty, but I do know that he's incredible", Lucas said. "And when I talked to him over the phone, he told me he was letting you figure things out and he wanted to give you all the time and space you needed and he was so understanding", Lucas said. "But- but that was before we- we became official", Tyler sniffled. "I know baby, I know. But Steve is still that same, understanding, loving man that you found. And he deserves to know what is going on right now, don't you think?" He asked. "He deserves to know what situation he's in, and then he can decide what you guys should do. He will know what to do", Lucas said.
Tyler nodded softly as he hugged Lucas tightly. "I love you so much", he whispered. "Whatever happens, you have to promise me that you'll never leave me. I can't go without my best friend", Tyler said. "I will always stick with you, Ty", Lucas promised him. "And I love you too. I always will", Lucas told him. Tyler sniffled softly. "I... Steve and I still- we still haven't had sex", Tyler softly said. "Because I'm- I'm terrified that I'll- I'll think of you and I don't- I don't want that to happen because I love him so much and I- I don't wanna risk it, but it's so hard", Tyler told him softly. "I wanna be with him and be intimate with him so badly but I'm so scared", he whispered. Lucas hugged him tightly. "Don't worry, Ty. I know you're scared of that, but I know that you will know when the time is right and when the time comes, I know you won't think of anything or anyone but Steve. I know you won't, baby", he gently told him.
They spent a while longer talking on the balcony, before they got in bed next to each other. Tyler cuddled up to Lucas as they came up with a plan to go about this; Tyler was going to Detroit the next day, and he was supposed to drive on his own, in his own car since he would be staying in Detroit for quite a while. Jordan and Michael would drive gear up to Detroit that same day. Instead of Tyler going on his own now, Lucas said he'd leave work a few hours earlier and drive up there together with Tyler. He'd meet Steve, and Tyler would tell Steve about the situation together with Lucas because Tyler really wanted Lucas to be there. Since Jordan and Michael would drive back to Columbus for the rest of their gear, they would bring Lucas back home, too.
//
The next day, Tyler spent the day pretty dang anxiously in Lucas's apartment. Lucas went to work, and when he came home around 1 PM, they grabbed Tyler's stuff and got in Tyler's car. Lucas told him he would drive, so Tyler could try to either relax a bit, or think about what he wanted to say to Steve.
The drive went well and Lucas was composed. If he was gonna stress visibly, it wouldn't be in Tyler's favor, so he did everything he could to stay calm. Steve knew Lucas would be bringing Tyler as Tyler had let him know that morning, so it wouldn't be a surprise that Lucas would be there.
They arrived at Steve's apartment in the center of Detroit. Tyler had recently learned that Steve had an apartment as well as a house outside of Detroit, in a quiet part of mainly nature with a few other houses, but Steve was currently staying in his apartment.
"Hey baby", Steve smiled as he opened the door. He realized that Tyler looked a little anxious though. "Hey love", Tyler said softly and Steve pulled him closer. Tyler pecked his lips before he gave him the tightest hug.
"This- this is Lucas", he said as he pulled back. "Hey Lucas", Steve smiled. "Hi Steve, it's great to meet you", Lucas smiled as he shook his hand. "So glad to meet you too, Lucas. Thanks for getting Tyler here safely", he smiled. "Of course, no problem", Lucas smiled.
"We... I- we- we need to talk, can we talk? I... need to tell you something", Tyler said to Steve. "Yeah, of course baby. Come on in, you can sit in the living room", Steve said as he let them in. Tyler didn't really look around; he just walked to the couch and sat down. Lucas took his jacket off, Steve took it from him and put it on the coat rack. He asked if Lucas wanted a drink, and he said he'd like some water - for Tyler too. Steve got them three glasses of water and sat down next to Tyler on the couch - with a gap in between, as Tyler was feeling so anxious. Lucas sat down on a chair near the couch.
"I- I-", Tyler tried, but tears welled up and rolled down his cheeks and he hid his face in his hands. "Fuck, fuck I don't- I don't know how to do this, I don't- I can't", he stuttered. "Do you mind if I... help him?" Lucas asked Steve. "Of course not, go ahead", Steve said, a frown on his forehead as he didn't know what was going on or what they were gonna say. Tyler wiped his cheeks, trying to get rid of his tears but he couldn't.
"Look, Steve", Lucas started. "I know this is not the ideal way to meet each other. By far, this is not ideal. But... You know about Tyler and me. You know our situation, and you've been incredible to Tyler, and Tyler but also I want to be honest with you from the start because you deserve that and we owe that to you", Lucas said. "...okay", Steve softly trailed, not knowing what to expect, but he was fearing the worst.
"Tyler and I are best friends", Lucas said. "But we only truly separated right before he went to Europe. It's... It hasn't been that long yet", Lucas said. "And I... I need you to know that I will never ever be interested in a relationship with Tyler ever again, because we are not meant to be and I do not want to ever try something again when I know it's to no avail. But I need you to know that right now, I am not fully over Tyler yet. I still have feelings for him, and I am still in love with him", Lucas said. Steve tensed up a bit, swallowing difficultly as he nodded. "Right..." he trailed. "I want you to know that I have the upmost respect for you, that I would never interfere with your relationship with Tyler, that I am incredibly happy for you and him both, that I want nothing else than the world for Tyler and I want him to find his true love and I would never come between that. I would never try anything, I would never have mean or false intentions with him. I am his best friend, and nothing more than that. I am not jealous of you, or him, I don't feel any resentment towards you because you're with Tyler. I think you are an incredible man and an even more incredible boyfriend to Tyler and everything I ever told you over the phone is true. I think you are pretty dang perfect for Tyler and I don't want anything to change about that", Lucas said.
"I am just not fully done with the process of getting rid of these feelings I have for him just yet, because these feelings were deep and not easy to just get over quickly. But I really hope you understand that I am not a threat, or competition, or someone to fear or anything like that because that's not who I am and that's not who I want to be and I only ever want to be Tyler's best friend and nothing more", Lucas said.
Steve bit his lip as he nodded softly. "Yeah, I... I... think, I think I understand", he said. Lucas nodded softly, looking over at Tyler who hadn't stopped crying, and he saw how badly Steve wanted to reach out to him and hold him but he was keeping himself from doing so, because he didn't know what the best thing to do was in this situation.
"Tyler... needs to tell you something too", Lucas said softly. It just made Tyler cry harder, and as he buried his head in his hands, Lucas saw Steve bite his lip hard, pressing his hands down on his thighs. Then Steve looked up at Lucas, and to Lucas it felt like he was asking him for help on what to do. Lucas nodded at him, a worried frown on his forehead as he saw how much Tyler was struggling and how badly Steve wanted to be there for him. When Steve saw Lucas nod, he closed the gap between himself and Tyler and he wrapped his arms around Steve.
Tyler held on for dear life as he hugged his lover, crying into his shoulder. "I- I don't- I can't l-lose you, I can't, I l-love you", Tyler sobbed. "I'm not going anywhere baby, I'm not leaving", Steve told him. Lucas's heart ached as he heard Steve's words; he had no intention of ever leaving Tyler even after what Lucas just told him, but he hadn't heard yet what Tyler had to say, and he was praying so hard that Steve would understand. Please, just understand.
"Tyler still has feelings for me too", Lucas then just blurted out. Steve looked up slowly, and Tyler just tightened his hug around him, desperately trying to keep him as close as humanly possible.
"I- fuck", Lucas said as he could feel tears well up in his own eyes too. He wiped a few away before he looked at Steve. "I'm really fucking sorry that I have to tell you this but Tyler- I- I don't think he can because he's terrified", Lucas said. "And I hate having to tell you this because this is so fucking hard", he said, feeling a few tears roll down his cheeks.
"Tyler loves you, Steve. He loves you immensely. He's head over heels in love with you", Lucas said. He breathed in and out, trying to calm himself. "I can see it in everything and he's told me so, too. But he's... not fully through the process yet, just... just like me", Lucas said. "And I don't have any interest in ever getting back with him but neither does he, Steve. He truly does not, because he loves you, he wants you, and no one else", Lucas said. "Yesterday we talked about all of this and we spent the whole night crying because Tyler was so terrified of losing you, and so terrified of telling you but he wants to be honest with you and he wants you to know. He told me that some nights he feels like he's betraying you because he's not fully over me yet, even though he is so head over heels in love with you. He's still... He's still processing some things", he said. "And he is scared that he made a mistake by asking you to be his boyfriend already, not because he thinks it was too soon for him, but because he doesn't want to break your heart and he's terrified that he will. He asked you to be his boyfriend because he knows that he wants to be your lover, and he knows how much he loves you and how much he's in love with you, and he knows that you're everything to him. He just doesn't want to hurt you, and he really doesn't want to lose you, but he also doesn't want to lie to you", Lucas said. He wiped some more tears away.
"Again..." he softly said. "I'm sorry I... I told you, instead of Tyler. I just... We both need you to know the truth and I need you to know what my intentions are and what his intentions are and none of those intentions have anything to do with getting back together. I... Tyler isn't capable of telling you that clearly right now and I don't want his words to come across the wrong way, so I... I'm sorry", Lucas said. "I just... didn't know what else to do than to tell you, for him", he said.
It was quiet in the room for a while, except for Tyler's sobs. Steve wanted to let go of Tyler but he wasn't gonna let go of Steve. "Ty, I... I need a minute", Steve softly said. "Please... please give me a minute", he asked softly. "I d-don't- I can't l-lose you", Tyler cried. "Ty, baby, let Steve have a moment to himself", Lucas softly said. Tyler hugged him tightly, before he slowly started letting go of Steve. It hurt his heart and he cried even more, but Steve pressed a soft kiss on Tyler's forehead before he got up and he walked to the doors that lead to the roof terrace.
Lucas remained in his chair, trying not to move until Tyler was crying too hard and Lucas couldn't handle watching him anymore. He moved to the couch and he hugged Tyler, who clung on to him. "He just needs a moment Ty, that's all", Lucas tried reassuring Tyler.
After a while, Tyler had calmed down a little bit, and the door opened again. "Lucas can I... can I talk to you?" Steve asked and Lucas looked up. "I- yeah, of course", he said as he got up. "Ty, will you be okay on your own for a few minutes?" Steve asked him. Tyler's looked like an absolute wreck, but he nodded. "I w-will", he told them. Steve nodded softly before he and Lucas went to the roof terrace and they closed the doors.
Lucas gave Steve the chance to speak first, but it didn't happen right away. He looked at the view from the roof for a bit, but nothing really registered as he worried about Steve and Tyler.
"Did you mean that? Everything you said about your feelings for him? How you... don't want him and you back together, how I don't have to worry and be jealous... did you mean it when you said you'd never get in between us and you want me and Tyler to be happy together? Did you mean all of that?" Steve asked. "I did, I meant all of it", Lucas said. "I'm Tyler's romantic past, you're his romantic present and future. Him and I will never be together romantically anymore. Never", Lucas said.
"Okay..." Steve trailed. "If you tell me you meant it, then... then I believe you", Steve said. Lucas looked up surprised. "You do?!" He asked. Steve nodded softly. "I... yeah..." he trailed. "I'd be lying if I said I've been in this situation before", he said with a soft chuckle. "In all honesty, I don't fucking know how to do all of this. But... fuck", Steve sighed as he rubbed his forehead. "I love that man that's sitting on my couch right now more than anything I've loved in a long time", Steve said. "And he's gonna be so worth it, Steve", Lucas told him. "He loves hard. He'll love you more than anyone has ever done before, I can promise you that. He's in love with you. He truly is. He'd do anything for you", Lucas said.
"Tyler made me promise not to leave him yesterday", Lucas started. "But if you... if you need me to... fuck off", he said. "If you can't love Tyler the way he deserves to be loved because I'm his best friend, then-" Lucas started. "No, no, stop. Don't say that. I'm not- I'm not gonna separate you and him. I'm not gonna separate Tyler from his best friend. Even if I wanted to, which I don't, there's no way Tyler would forgive me that", Steve said. "And I don't want you to be out of his life. You are everything to him, I would never have the heart to break that in any way. No, we're not- we're not doing that", Steve said.
"You said I'm everything to Tyler", Lucas said. Steve nodded. "Yeah, he told me that and I can see it." "He told me the same thing about you", Lucas said. "Last night. He said you're everything to him."
"...he- he did?" Steve asked softly. Lucas nodded. "You mean a great fucking deal to him, Steve. He feels extremely guilty for not successfully getting rid of these feelings for me yet 'cause he's so in love with you and you mean so much to him, that it's confusing as hell for him, too. He's struggling with his own mind because he doesn't understand why it's happening like this, but... Ty and I went through so much together. His rapid growth, his eating disorder, his lying to me about how often he fainted and so much more; it's not easy to just... forget that. If we'd just have had a 'normal' relationship, it wouldn't have been so hard to get over each other fully. But it was... it was a lot more than just a regular relationship. Emotionally it was like we went through what other couples go through in several years. That's why it's so hard to just move on. But he loves you immensely and that's not a lie", Lucas said.
Steve nodded. "I... I get it", he said. "You and him went through a lot together and if I would've had someone like you or him at the moment where I struggled with my drug addiction, I... think I wouldn't have been able to just let go of that person like that either. I mean, I'm not able to let go of the friends that helped me through it, so if any of those relationships had been romantic, I... I can definitely imagine I would've struggled with that a lot. I lied to my friends back then a lot too, like Tyler did when he struggled with his eating disorder, so... I get it. I think I do", Steve said.
"That makes me so happy to hear", Lucas sighed softly. "I was so scared that I was about to fuck up your and Tyler's relationship. Thank you for understanding, and giving him a chance 'cause he deserves it and you won't regret it, I know you won't", Lucas said. "We just... we needed to be honest with you so you could decide what's best for you. But obviously him and I both hoped you'd believe him and you'd stay with him", Lucas said.
"Well... I don't wanna lose him either", Steve said. "He's... he's really important to me. And I... really like him. I don't wanna lose that. I just- I really love him, I do", Steve said. Lucas smiled at him.
"I know you guys haven't had- ...I probably shouldn't talk about your sex life", Lucas interrupted himself then. "Dude, after this whole conversation, you might as well", Steve chuckled and Lucas let out a laugh. "You sure?" he asked. "Go ahead, I can handle it", Steve laughed gently. Lucas chuckled. "What I wanted to say is... I know you haven't had sex with Tyler yet", he said. "And it's not because Tyler doesn't want to. He talked to me about it, and he... he said that he's just really dang terrified", Lucas said. "Of messing up like he did last time you and him were intimate. He's scared it'll happen again. He's afraid of hurting you or losing you, he doesn't wanna do any of that, and that's what's stopping him from being with you. But believe me, he wants to be with you, he wants to be intimate. He really does", Lucas said. "It's not you, it's his anxiety. He's scared of messing up and hurting you. But he wants it", Lucas said.
"So if I could... maybe give you a little word of advice", Lucas said. "Either talk to him about it, or just... let him know he's safe with you. I don't think he'll mess up but in case he does, let him know it's okay, at least if you're okay with it. He's gonna keep having this fear if he doesn't have you to support him in getting over it. I know he will, he doesn't know it himself. But he will. He wants to be with the man he loves more than anything", Lucas said.
"...thank you", Steve said. "I... I didn't wanna push him and I wanted to give him all the time he needed", Steve said. "Which I love about you, and you really shouldn't push him, at all. Just... when he's about to back out or hold back, let him know it's alright and that you're there and let him choose. Whatever he chooses, he just wants to feel safe and he doesn't want to hurt you", Lucas said.
"I won't push him, I never will", Steve said. "I... I want him to feel safe with me, so thank you for... I don't know, for letting me know Tyler really wants to be with me", Steve said. "That's... That's honestly all I need. To know that Tyler wants to be with me, that's all I need", he said. "You are such an awesome guy", Lucas said. "You really are." Steve smiled. "Thanks, Lucas. That means a lot", he smiled. "I was scared that you'd hate me after having to meet me this way", Lucas said. "'Cause I know it definitely wasn't the ideal way to meet me."
"Fuck what's ideal", Steve said. "I don't care about that. All I care about is that Tyler feels comfortable around me and I care about honesty. If that means having to meet his best friend seconds before he tells me he's still in love with my boyfriend, so be it", Steve shrugged. Lucas let out a soft laugh.
"Am I in love with your boyfriend? Yeah. Do I wanna be with your boyfriend? Absolutely not", Lucas said. "You can't forget that. I don't want to be with him romantically, not now or ever in the future. We're past that", Lucas said. "We're not competing here, yeah? I'll get over him, I know I will. Just need you to really understand that I'm not trying to compete with you here, and that I'm not a thread", Lucas said. "I know, I know", Steve smiled. "I appreciate that you came here together with Tyler to help him explain what was wrong. And I'm really glad that you and him value honesty as much as I do, 'cause I would much rather know this than not know. I sometimes thought something was up but Tyler wasn't... wasn't talking to me about it", Steve said. "And I'm not mad at him for not telling me right away, 'cause he was struggling to figure out his own thoughts too, I know that. I'm just glad that you guys told me now instead of afterwards, I'm glad you guys didn't keep me in the dark", Steve said.
"I'm still kind of blown away by how understanding you are but gosh, you are a great fucking man", Lucas said. "Might just get a crush on you too", he joked, and Steve laughed. "I'm kidding, I'm kidding", Lucas laughed gently. "You're Ty's love and I wouldn't change it for the world", Lucas smiled. "I gotta give you a hug", Steve said. "Yes please", Lucas said, and they gave each other a tight hug. "Thanks for everything, friend", Steve told him softly. "Of course, Steve. I want what's best for you and Ty", he said. "I want what's best for him too. Also for you", Steve said. Lucas smiled as they pulled back. "What's best for Ty is what's best for me", he said. "Was about to say the same thing", Steve said with a gentle laugh. "Shall we go see how he's doing?" Steve asked. Lucas nodded. "Yeah, we should", he said. Lucas was the first one to go back inside.
He saw Tyler on the couch, with a kitty in his lap. Tyler was patting the kitty, scratching behind its ear, which the cat seemed to enjoy. But when Lucas walked in, Tyler looked up. His tears had stopped, but his cheeks were raw and wet and his eyes were puffy and red. "What did he- is- is Steve okay? Is he- he's gonna leave me, isn't he? He's- he's gonna kick me out-", Tyler rambled to Lucas. "Hey, shh Ty, take it easy", Lucas said, and only then Tyler realized that Steve was also inside now, and he'd heard what Tyler had said. Lucas moved aside to let Steve pass and Tyler had fear in his eyes as he looked at his boyfriend.
"I'm so- so sorry- I- I'm so sorry", Tyler whispered as new tears started welling up in his eyes. "You don't have to be", Steve said softly as he sat down next to Tyler and he pulled his lover in his arms. The kitty got up from Tyler's lap and took off, and Tyler crawled closer to Steve. "Please don't- don't leave me", Tyler stuttered. "I'm not baby, I'm not going anywhere. I'm right here, I'm not leaving. I'm not kicking you out", Steve gently told him. Tyler sniffled as he pulled back to look into Steve's eyes. "R-really?" He asked softly and Steve nodded. "Yeah, really", he said. "I love you so much, Tyler. There's nothing that I want more than to be with you", he said.
Tyler could feel the tears roll down his cheeks - from happiness this time as he clung on to Steve tightly, never wanting to let go again. "I l-love you so much", Tyler stuttered. "I love you baby, so so much", Steve gently told him as he held him close. "So much." He pressed a kiss on Tyler's forehead, gently running his fingertips through Tyler's hair.
"Do- do we need to ch-", Tyler started. "No, you don't", Steve said. "But wh-", Tyler tried again. "No baby, you don't", Steve said. "You- you don't even- even know what I'm gonna say", Tyler stuttered. "I don't need to know what you're gonna say to know that the answer is no, baby, you don't have to change", Steve gently told him. "You don't have to stop hugging Lucas, you can still hug him, or cuddle with him, kiss his cheek, call him baby or anything else you want, you can still hold his hand and spend alone time with him, you can still stay at his place and confide in him baby. You don't have to change anything for me. I want you, Ty, I don't want an altered version of you. I want you. If I couldn't accept you the way you are then I wouldn't even deserve to have you. I love you, and I don't want you to change for me. I just need you to be open and honest with me baby and if you can do that then I will do the same and I will not go anywhere. I wanna love you and be with you, and I know Lucas is a part of you. I don't want to change that part of you. I want you to have your best friend the way that feels right for you, and if that means you're affectionate with him, that's okay by me baby, I don't mind that. I just need you to be honest with me and I need you to talk to me when something is wrong, okay baby? Do you think you can do that?" Steve asked.
Tyler nodded. "Of- of course, I'm s-sorry I didn't- I didn't tell you s-sooner I was just- just so so scared, I didn't- I didn't wanna risk losing you I'm sorry, I love you so much, I- I'll always talk to you and- and be honest with you", Tyler told him. "I promise", he softly said. "I believe you baby, I do", Steve softly told him. "I promise to be honest with you and talk to you too, hm?" He said and Tyler nodded. "Can I- can I kiss you", Tyler asked softly. "Of course, baby", Steve smiled softly at him as he connected his lips to Tyler's. Tyler's hands went up to rest on the sides of Steve's head, keeping him close as he deepened the kiss, not wanting to break it too soon.
"I love you so, so much", Tyler told him softly as he looked into his eyes. "Are you- are you sure you don't- you don't mind? The- the feelings?" He asked softly. "If it's like what Lucas said, I don't mind", Steve said. "If it's because of what you two went through together during your relationship, and how emotionally tight you were in that time, how much you relied on each other because of what you've been through and it's not easy to let go of that... I understand", Steve said. "It would be weird if it was easy to let go of that, honestly. If you tell me that you're in love with him and hope to be together with him again in the future, then I... then I'm not, and then we can't- we can't continue this", he said. "But if you're still partly in love with him because of what you've been through together, and because it hasn't been that long since you guys separated but you have no intention of being with him again, if you just need time to process these feelings and you know that you and him won't be together again, and you don't want that anymore, then... Then I understand, and I'm okay with it, and I will support you", Steve said.
"I don't- I don't want to be with Lucas. I want to be with you", Tyler told him as he looked into his eyes, and Steve knew that he was telling the truth. "You're my future, you're my love", he whispered. "I don't want anyone else but you. What he said- that's- that's the way it is. Our romantic relationship, it's in the past and it won't happen again because we're- we're not meant to be and we know that and realized that and accepted that and I processed it. It's just the emotional aspect that- that's holding me... that's holding me back a bit", Tyler said. "That's the part that- that keeps this small part of my heart occupied by... by Lucas", he said softly.
"But he's my best friend and he's nothing more, nothing else, and he never will be", Tyler told Steve. "I believe you", Steve simply said, and it was the perfect answer for Tyler. His lover believed him, and that's all he'd wanted from this. He just wanted Steve to believe him.
Tyler connected his lips to Steve's, gently deepening it and Steve held him close. He loved Tyler more than he'd loved most people he'd been with; he would be a fool if he wouldn't fight for him. Yeah, this was all new, and sometimes odd; Steve had never been in any situation like he was in now, but Tyler was worth it and he would do anything to understand and respect and love Tyler for who he is. He didn't want him to change. He just wanted him.
"Could I- would- would you mind if I-" Tyler stuttered as he pointed at Lucas. "Of course not baby, go ahead", Steve smiled. Tyler pressed a kiss on Steve's lips firmly, before he got up to go to Lucas, who opened his arms and Tyler walked right into them as he hugged his best friend tightly. "T-thank you", he whispered. "For- for helping me tell Steve 'cause I- I don't know if I- I would've been able to do it on my own", he said. "I know baby, I know. No need to thank me, love", Lucas told him gently. "Here to help you whenever you need it, hm?" he said and Tyler nodded. "Yeah, thanks", he smiled softly, wiping his last few tears away. "It- I really... really don't know what I'd do without you", Tyler said. "I... love you", he said hesitantly. Even though Steve gave him permission to say that, he was still scared that he would suddenly change his mind or something. "I love you too", Lucas said as he pressed a kiss on Tyler's temple. He looked over at Steve, who was just sitting on the couch patting his cat, seemingly unfazed by the words Tyler and he had just spoken. Lucas let out a soft sigh. He felt relieved. Tyler and Steve were gonna be alright. Steve didn't even look at them much when they hugged and talked to each other, which was a good thing. He wasn't feeling like he had to keep his eyes on them at all times when they were together, which felt good. Steve understood, and he loved Tyler, and they would be alright.
They were going to be fine.
~~
Awww man my emotions were all over the place
What did you think? I'd love to hear from you! I know Ty is with his new lover now, but it just seemed so unrealistic to me that he'd just fully gotten over Lucas so quickly and easily after everything they experienced together. The end of a relationship doesn't always automatically mean the end of the love people have for each other. There's many other reasons why couples break up besides falling out of love. I felt like that was much more fitting for them in their situation. While Lucas initially thought he didn't love Tyler the way he used to anymore, we quickly established that he'd been wrong; he'd just been telling himself that 'cause he thought that should be the main reason to break up, while it was actually the fact that they weren't perfect together. They wanted different things, had arguments about them, Tyler didn't communicate properly with him, etc. But after going through Tyler's eating disorder, the fainting, the lying, how Lucas was there to support Tyler through everything and how it affected Lucas emotionally; it just didn't feel realistic to have them be completely over each other already. Sooo, that's why I felt like I had to write this chapter. (:
Joshie will be back next chapter! Most chapter from now on will be switching between focusing on Joshie and Tyler both. I hope you enjoyed it, I'd love to hear from you, and I'll see you at the next one. ♥️