Hello all you lovely people! A new chapter for you! <3
I truly hope you're still enjoying the story. To everyone who votes on my chapters every time; I see you and love you sooo much because it makes me feel so much better about writing this story. Thank you so much! <3
Got some super fun Joshie Ty things planned for the near future, but in the meantime, let's find out some more stuff about Tyler's past! In this chapter we'll dive a bit deeper into that. <3
I hope you'll enjoy this chapter, and I can't wait to hear what you think of it. I love you all sooo much <3
I think I'll update the next couple of chapters a bit quicker after one another. I hope it won't be too overwhelming and you'll enjoy a few more chapters released closer to each other. Anyways, thank you for all of your support 'cause it means the world. <3
Word count: 5379
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The night had been perfect, and it would've perfectly lead to hooking up in the hotel room as they got inside, but both of them knew better. So instead of stumbling inside while kissing, desperately taking each other's clothes off and getting to the bed; this time, Steve kissed Tyler softly, turned on the lights, and poured them a glass of wine.
Tyler smiled as he accepted it, before they sat down on the couch as they talked. Steve put on some music in the background, but neither of them had the desire to turn on the tv or something like that. They liked talking to each other, looking at each other, enjoying each other. It was perfect to Tyler.
Until they got interrupted by Tyler's phone ringing. Tyler frowned a little as he grabbed it, and he saw that Lucas was calling.
"Oh I uh- I don't need to take it-" Tyler said as he bit his lip. "You can answer, Ty. I don't mind", Steve said. "But I'm- I'm interrupting our date", Tyler said. "Our date is finished. Right now, we're on the afterparty", Steve joked with a grin, and Tyler let out a laugh. "You really don't mind?" He asked. "No, go ahead. Should I leave?" Steve asked. Tyler shook his head. "Just stay here", he said and Steve nodded. Tyler then answered the phone. "Hey Lukey, what's up?" Tyler asked.
"Ty, baby! Finally!" Lucas said. Tyler frowned. "Finally?" He asked. "Yeah! We've been trying to reach you! Your momma called me several times because she nor your dad or siblings could reach you, and then I tried calling a few times and I couldn't reach you, and Jordan and Michael weren't picking up either, and I couldn't even get through the ringing with Shap, Shane or Mark's numbers. Just went straight to saying they couldn't be reached. You got them worried sick and honestly you kind of started worrying me now too", Lucas said.
"Wait momma tried to reach me? Is something wrong baby? With- with my family?" Tyler asked, and now he was starting to get worried too. Then he remembered that Steve was right there, and he'd just called Lucas baby, and his eyes shot up to look into Steve's, a little scared, but Steve didn't seem upset. He looked at him questioningly, since Tyler just asked if something was wrong with his family.
"No, no no, no don't worry babe", Lucas clarified quickly. "Nothing's wrong with anyone in your family, or your friends or my family and me. Don't worry", he said. "Oh, oh okay, good", Tyler sighed relieved. "Do you- do you know why she was calling?" Tyler asked.
"She told me you haven't reached out to her in several days and she doesn't know how you're doing. I told her you and I called each other last night - or this morning for you - but that I hadn't heard from you today yet. She kind of didn't think that was good enough and asked me to call you because she'd been doing so several times today, but she couldn't reach you", he said.
"Oh, Uhm- I- I think I got my phone on do not disturb", Tyler said as he realized it. "Did you call twice in a row, babe?" He asked and Lucas replied yes. "You probably got through because you're in my emergency contacts", Tyler said. "Right, makes sense. I'm glad you picked up Ty, so I can let Kelly know you're okay. ...you're okay, right?" He asked. "Yeah, yeah I'm okay", Tyler said with a soft laugh. "I'll call momma tomorrow. I uh... I- I was on a- on a date", Tyler said.
"Ohh, with Steve?" Lucas asked, and Tyler thought he sounded pretty excited. Tyler blushed as he looked down at his lap. "Yeah- yeah, with- with Steve", he blushed. "Ohh Ty, that's so exciting! How was it? Is he treating you well? He better treats you well or I'm gonna get on a plane to smack him personally", Lucas said and Tyler laughed. "He's treating me very well, he really is", he smiled as he ran his fingers over a softer part of fabric on his jeans. "I'm actually still with him right now, back at the hotel", Tyler said. "Oh really? But- you're not gonna..." Lucas trailed. "No, no that's not gonna happen", Tyler smiled. "Taking it slow." "Good, that's great", Lucas replied. "I'm happy for you, Ty. I'm really truly super happy for you", he said. "Thanks, baby", Tyler smiled softly. "Makes me happy that you're happy for me." "You deserve to be happy more than anyone, love", Lucas said.
"Anyways, Ty baby, I'm gonna leave you to your date with Steve then", he said. "He says we're at the afterparty now", Tyler chuckled. "Lots of talking with a glass of wine." "That sounds like a perfect evening to me", Lucas said. "It is", Tyler smiled. "Have fun, baby. Imma let your momma know that she doesn't have to be worried and that you'll call her tomorrow", Lucas said. "Yeah, thank you", Tyler said. "Oh by the way, Jordan and Mike were downstairs having drinks with the others and Mike, Shap and Shane don't have the unlimited calls plan because it's expensive as hell when you're from the US and you wanna get that over here. So that's why you couldn't reach them", Tyler said. "Ahh, that's good to know. I'll let Kelly now that as well. Enjoy your night, baby. Love you, always will, so so much", Lucas said. "I love you too Luke, so much", Tyler smiled. "I'll speak to you soon. Bye baby", he said. Lucas returned it, before they ended the call.
Then it was quiet for a bit, until Tyler finally looked at Steve. He was expecting something different, but Steve's face was soft, a small smile on it. "You're cute when you blush", he said, which made Tyler blush even more. "So that's how you and Lucas talk to each other, hm?" Steve asked. Tyler bit his lip, taking a deeper breath. "Uh... yeah, yeah... that's- that's how", he softly said. Steve nodded. "Alright", he said, still smiling softly.
"...you don't mind?" Tyler asked. "No, he's your best friend right?" Steve asked. "I- uh... yeah, yeah he is", Tyler said. "I just... I- it might not be... standard, how we talk to each other", Tyler said. "I- I don't know if everyone talks to their best friend that way", he muttered.
"If that's how you and Lucas talk to each other as best friends and it makes you both happy, then who cares what's standard", Steve shrugged. "Neither of us are standard. You don't have to pretend you are. I don't do that either", Steve said. "You're truly okay with it?" Tyler asked. "Yeah I am", Steve smiled. Tyler smiled too, then leaned over to give him a soft kiss.
"So far, he likes you", Tyler smiled. "Thinks you're a hottie." "He does?" Steve let out a laugh. "Show me a picture of him. I'm curious now too", he said. Tyler grabbed his phone and he scrolled to the folder in his phone that had all photos and selfies of him and Lucas. Tyler realized that that was probably super weird, but Lucas didn't comment on it. Steve asked if he could hold Tyler's phone and swipe, and Tyler gave him permission.
Some pictures that he swiped past were of Lucas kissing Tyler's cheek, or the other way around; one picture was of Lucas asleep while cuddling up to Tyler, both shirtless in bed; not all of the pictures were very friendly-only. Some were more intimate, though there was nothing in there that was of them making out of being fully naked; nothing actually sexual. They were all very loving, whether the pictures were more intimate or public pictures of them in restaurants or on tour, taken by other people.
Tyler was convinced that he'd made a big mistake letting Steve swipe through the folder, and he wished he'd removed it and he'd just showed him one selfie, because this surely couldn't be good. He kept doing things that could seriously mess up his relationship with Steve - no, they weren't together, but they weren't exactly just friends either.
"He looks gentle", Steve said after a while. "Looks very sweet. You're so happy in these pics. I love seeing you smile like that", he said. "And he looks handsome too. Has really beautiful eyes", he said.
Tyler stared blankly at Steve. "...okay now be honest", Tyler said. Steve looked up with a quirked eyebrow. "I... am honest", he said. "No you're not! You can't! How are you okay with everything? How are you unfazed when I call my ex-boyfriend baby, how do you look at intimate pictures of my ex-boyfriend and I and your take from that is 'he has nice eyes and you look happy'?? How did you forgive me for saying my ex's name yesterday?!" Tyler asked as he got up. "There's just- there's no way it's all just good and okay! There's no way!" Tyler said as he slightly pulled his hair.
"Ty, I'm not lying", Steve tried. "I'm serious. He's your ex, he's not your romantic partner anymore. That's in the past", Steve said. "And he's your best friend. I know what you're like with close friends. I've seen you with Jordan, Michael, the other guys. You're an affectionate person towards your friends and I am okay with it because I like how you're so secure in your gender and your sexuality that you don't care what others think; you just show them how loved they are and you allow them to love you back. How am I supposed to hate that? I don't! I love it, I love seeing you that way 'cause it's so refreshing and it means so much. It doesn't change when it's your ex-boyfriend, 'cause he's your best friend", Steve said.
"But I just- I can't believe you're just... supposedly okay with how I am with my ex and- and how you're so okay with me having these pics and- and me showing them to you, and... how- I- I just don't get it!" Tyler said as he shook his head, walking from left to right.
"Do you want me to hate your relationship with Lucas and be angry at you about these things?" Steve asked. "Wh- what? No! No of course not-" Tyler started.
"Then don't try to make me be that way, Ty! Let me fully accept you the way you are without changing you! I don't wanna change you, I just want you!" Steve said.
Tyler stared at him, and Steve looked back, not knowing what else to say. Tyler could feel the tears well up in his eyes and Steve sat up a bit, wanting to reach out but Tyler already stepped forward, lowering himself to sit on Steve's lap as he connected their lips. The kiss tasted a little salty because of Tyler's tears, but they didn't care. Tyler's arms were around his neck, desperately keeping him close, until they had to pull back for air.
Tyler still had tears rolling down his cheeks, as he looked into Steve's eyes. "I-I'm sorry", he stuttered out. "It's okay, Ty", Steve said softly but Tyler shook his head no. "I- I'm- I shouldn't- shouldn't sabotage us", he stuttered. "I know that's what I'm doing, I- I know", he mumbled softly. "I really don't want to", he whispered, more tears following, and he wiped them away quickly.
"...it kind of feels like it, a little bit. That you're sabotaging yourself a bit", Steve said softly. "Do you feel like you don't deserve another chance at... at love?" Steve hesitantly said. Tyler nodded softly. "I just- I feel like I messed up so badly with- with Luke that- that I don't deserve you 'cause you don't deserve to- to be treated badly like how I- how I treated him and I just- I don't wanna hurt you", Tyler sniffled. "And I... I feel like I'm just so- so unlovable and undeserving of love", he cried. "It sucks", he whispered.
Steve pulled him into a tight hug. "You deserve so much, Ty. You deserve so, so much love. You deserve the world", he softly told him. "I wanna be part of your world", he whispered. Tyler held him tightly. "I want you to be too", he sniffled. "I just... I keep- I keep doubting myself and everything between- between us because I- I'm so scared of mistreating you and- and hurting you. Everything- everything was going so well tonight and- and Lucas was so happy for me and it- it made me feel so good to know he- he thinks I truly deserve this but- but then I- I start thinking of all the ways I am messing up, like showing you all these pictures of us when we were in a relationship and then you say nice things and I just think, there's like, no way you mean it 'cause there's no way I deserve someone as kind as that", he sniffled. "And then- and then I cry when you say something so incredibly sweet that makes me feel so incredible yet so scared at the same time", he sniffled.
"I like you", Tyler softly told him. "I really do. I... I want you to like me for me, I want you to not feel like you should change me but hearing you say that is so different and means so much", Tyler told him. He wiped his tears away.
"I'm sorry I'm- im ruining our day now by ending up crying again", he muttered. "You're not ruining our day, baby", Steve said as he gently wiped some tears of Tyler's away as well. "I'd choose this over superficial conversations any moment of the day", he told Tyler.
"Why?" Tyler asked. "I'm learning to understand your insecurities, and your thoughts more. I'm learning how to talk with you and understand you. I'd much rather have this than you telling me you do like lemons but you don't like limes, or whatever", he said, making up a random fact. "And of course I wanna know your love and hate for lemons and limes too, but learning to understand you is a lot more important this early on", Steve said.
Tyler bit his lip as he looked down between them. "Yeah I... I guess that's- thats true", he sniffled. "I... I'd- I'd prefer you understanding me better too, I think", he said. "...I mean I know, for sure", he added. "I know that- that I prefer that."
"Someone today told me their new kink is communication", Steve hummed and Tyler let out a soft laugh, smiling even with teary eyes. "They did? What- what a weird thing to say, huh", Tyler said. "I thought it was adorable", Steve smiled. "And something I realized I definitely agree with."
"Should I- should I stop kissing you? Or- or are you sure it's not too much or too soon?" Tyler asked. "I'm sure, baby. I wanna kiss you, I wanna be kissed by you", he said. Tyler rested his forehead against Steve's before he kissed him softly. "You feel good to me", Tyler whispered. "You feel good to me too", Steve said softly. He intertwined his fingers with Tyler's. "Tonight is my favorite night together so far", he said. "Even with my tears and insecurities?" Tyler asked. "Especially with those", Steve said. "I mean, of course I'd rather have you not have these at all, but knowing that they are there, learning exactly how they're a part of you is something that's really important to me", Steve said.
"You really sound too good to be true", Tyler sighed softly as he hugged him. "I'm so... so lucky that you're giving me another chance Steve 'cause I- I felt like I've messed up a million times already. I just... I really appreciate it", he said as he ran his hand through Steve's hair. "It means so much."
They cuddled on the couch until Tyler had fully stopped crying. Tyler and he both had a drink - without alcohol this time, as Tyler was scared that he'd start crying again with more alcohol - and then said he wanted to do one round of Mario kart with Steve to lighten the mood a bit more, to make Tyler feel a little happier again. He felt content, because Steve made him feel that way, but he still felt a little down, a little blue, and he hoped Mario Kart would help a bit with that, which turned out it did.
Tyler was smiling more again, giggles sounded from his lips, Steve peppered him with kisses to try and distract him from the game, and Tyler loved it. It made him happy, and after a while he was brightly smiling again.
Eventually they went to bed, and when Tyler unlocked his phone as Steve's head was on his shoulder, it opened up on the picture of him and Lucas again. Tyler wanted to close it, but Steve stopped him. "He really has gorgeous eyes", Steve said. Tyler felt a little tense, his chest a bit tight, a bit nervous about Steve seeing these pics again, but Tyler remained calm. Somehow, seeing Steve's soft look, the soft smile, the cheesy smile as he looked up at Tyler, it made him feel more at ease.
"He does, doesn't he?" Tyler suddenly felt the courage to agree. "Yeah, absolutely", Steve smiled. "Really handsome. You and him look nice together", Steve said. "As friends", Tyler said. "Yeah, as best friends, of course", Steve smiled at him and Tyler let out a giggle. "I'm the ugly best friend between the two of us", Tyler said. "No way! You both are beautiful. There's no 'ugly' best friend here!" Steve said.
Tyler felt his cheeks hurt from the smiles, and he heard his own laughs and giggles, and he wanted to be close to Steve and hold on to him and feel protected and safe in his arms as he was held. He slept like a baby in Steve's arms, safe and secure and warm, and Tyler couldn't stress how much it meant to him that he felt so safe. It was something Tyler loved feeling. Maybe even more than anything else.
Steve made him feel safe. Steve was Tyler's safe haven right now. Tyler needed to feel safe.
As he woke up the next morning, he felt fingertips caress his lower back under his shirt, his head was on Steve's bare chest, he felt Steve's soft breaths against his hair. As he opened his eyes and looked up at Steve, he saw the soft, lazy smile appear on the man's lips as their eyes met. "Hey cutie", Steve said softly. Tyler smiled as he closed his eyes, wrapping his arm around Steve's waist, tightening his hug. "Hey baby", he said, sighing softly. "This feels nice."
"Feels super nice, hm?" Steve agreed as he pressed a kiss on top of Tyler's hair. "I could get used to this", he said. Tyler smiled. "Me too."
"Today's your concert, hm?" Steve said. "Oh, right", Tyler nodded. "No studio day today." "We got all morning and a bit of the afternoon to do whatever we want", Steve said. "Until we have to get to the venue. ...unless you don't want me to be at the venue", he then said, realizing that neither of them really made plans about it; Steve just assumed that he would be going with Tyler, but he realized Tyler never said anything about that, or agreed to it.
"Of course, c'mon now, I thought that was obvious", Tyler smiled softly as he looked up at his crush. "I want you there. I'd love it if the other guys would come watch me do the show too, but I'd like you to be there with me all day", Tyler said. "...if you want to", he added.
"'Course I do, Ty", Steve smiled. "In my mind that was already decided and planned, but we hadn't really confirmed anything so I had to check first", he said. Tyler smiled. "It's good to check", he said. "But you were right. I assumed the same", he said.
It was quiet for a while, as they looked at each other, appreciating each other's features, and Steve appreciating Tyler's blushing cheeks. He thought it was quite dang adorable when he blushed, and so far he hadn't been able to get enough of it.
"So..." Tyler started. "I know some people don't- don't like uh, kissing each other in the morning until they, like, brushed their teeth and all that..." he trailed.
"I couldn't care less", Steve said as he pulled Tyler closer, then connected their lips to share a soft, gentle kiss. Tyler melted into it and when Steve pulled back, he reconnected their lips, a bit deeper this time, wanting to get closer.
"I like you", Steve smiled as they pulled back. "I like you too", Tyler blushed, then covered his face with his hand as he felt his cheeks burn. "Don't do that, no no", Steve smiled. "Show me those cute blushing cheeks of yours. You're adorable as hell", he smiled widely as he gently grabbed Tyler's hand and he removed it from Tyler's face. "Gorgeous, and adorable", he said. Tyler rolled his eyes playfully. "You're talking about yourself", he said. "Hell no", Steve grinned. "No way."
They cuddled in bed for quite a long time, until Tyler's tummy was rumbling too much, and Steve was getting quite dang hungry too. Instead of going downstairs to their friends to have breakfast together, like usual, Steve ordered room service for them 'cause Tyler didn't wanna socialize yet if he could spend some more quality time with Steve instead. This whole thing with that man was making him feel super good, and it felt like they were supposed to be spending time together. He just couldn't take it too far too quickly, but the pace he was at now, getting used to what it would be like to wake up next to Steve, share kisses, cuddle and spend time together; it felt great to him.
They had breakfast, then Tyler took a shower and after him, Steve took a shower. Tyler wore a hoodie of Steve's, as well as some sweatpants, as he only had his fancy clothes with him in the room after last night.
Steve came back in a muscle tee - what Tyler's favorite item of clothing was for Steve, as it showed off all of the best parts of his body in the nicest way possible, and they watched something on tv as they talked and held each other.
Around 10 AM, Tyler's phone rang. When he checked it, he saw that his mom was calling. "Oh it's my momma", Tyler said. "Already? Isn't it still super early in Ohio?" Steve asked. "She probably has a very early shift", Tyler said and Steve nodded in understanding. "I uh.. I have to take this", Tyler said. "Of course baby, you should", Steve nodded. "I don't expect you to ignore your momma anymore", he said and Tyler smiled. He then picked up the phone, holding it to his ear.
"Hey momma", he said. "Tyler! Oh finally, you've had me so worried since yesterday and even before!" She said. "Yeah I'm sorry momma. Luke told you I'd call you right? And that I was okay?" Tyler asked. "Yes honey, Lucas told me about that", she said. "But I couldn't fully stop worrying until I heard you tell me myself."
"Well, I'm all good momma, I'm more than okay", Tyler said. "I was just uh... I- I was on a date yesterday", Tyler said as he pulled his feet up on the couch. He heard a gasp come from Kelly. "A date?!" She asked. "Lucas said you were just out with a friend!" "Yeah well Luke probably didn't wanna tell you before I got the chance to tell you myself", Tyler said. "But uh... yeah, yeah it was a date", he said.
"Oh honey! That's great news, so you have a new boyfriend now?" She asked. "Wh- no, no! No, we're not in a relationship, I don't have a new boyfriend", he quickly clarified. "It's- it's too soon. Too soon after... Lucas", he said softly.
"Oh baby you and Lucas broke up several months ago. I don't think it would be too soon! You've been apart for a while already!" She said. "Uh... actually no, not really, mom", Tyler said as he scratched the back of his head. "Luke and I, we... we didn't really break up when you think we did", he said as he bit his lip. "I- I mean officially we did, but we kind of... were together unofficially until I left to come to Europe", he said.
"...what do you mean?" Kelly asked. "We uh... we knew we- we'd have to break up but we didn't act that way. We kind of... set a deadline, I guess, on our relationship", he said, glancing over at Steve before he looked back down. "And I... didn't tell you 'cause I- I didn't want you to get hopeful that we'd either get back together, or that you'd think I'd be making a mistake doing that", he said. "Just my boys knew, and Luke and I. No one else, I didn't tell Maddy or Zack or dad or Jay or anyone else from our family. Just my guys", Tyler said.
"I see..." Kelly trailed. "Do you... think that was the right decision though, sweetie? I love you and I know you should do what makes you happy, but it just doesn't seem the smartest idea after you struggled with the break up..." she trailed.
"No, mom, stop", Tyler said. "Don't say that. What Luke and I decided was right for us. It doesn't have to be right for you, it was right for us. We decided it together and it was what worked for us and something we both wanted", Tyler said. "But Tyler, sweetie, it's just gonna complicate your future relationship more, and you might end up regretting it! What if you'll realize you've wasted time when you could've been using it to move on instead-" she said.
"No! I did not waste my time on Lucas!" Tyler said angrily, but more upset. He could feel the tears in his eyes, the familiar burning feeling back yet again. "I loved him more than I ever loved anyone and I wanted to have as much time with him as I could, even when I knew we weren't perfect and weren't meant to be! Even if we were broken up! It's what made it easier for me, because now we're best friends and I love him and I don't have this grudge that I started developing and I don't hate him, I adore him! We did this for us and we don't regret it 'cause it made us the closest best friends I could've ever wished for! He was not a waste of time! He's the most valuable person in my life!" Tyler said as he wiped his tears away.
"And you do not get to pretend to be a relationship expert! You don't get to act like you're my therapist and you don't get to say that you know best! You can't give me advice 'cause while you and dad are great know, I know how you and dad almost hated each other!" Tyler told her. He felt extremely upset, 'cause it hurt more than anything to hear that she thought he wasted his time on Lucas, while Lucas was the world to Tyler.
"I know that you and him argued so much when I was a kid, especially around the time you were pregnant with Jay. I know about you threatening to get a lawyer to divorce dad. I know you told me he had to go on a month-long business trip suddenly while in reality you kicked him out and he lived in a hotel for a month. I know you dated other men during that month and that dad did date other women too 'cause you were convinced you were gonna divorce him. I know how you thought I was upstairs playing when dad came back to ask you to take him back 'cause it only made him realize how he didn't wanna be apart from you, and you took him back in. I was a kid but I wasn't stupid. I knew about all of it mom! My siblings were too young to either understand or remember, but I wasn't! I know you and dad went to therapy to fix your issues and finally started liking each other again after you kicked him out and all that. You are not a relationship expert and you're not a therapist, especially not mine. I am not your little boy that needs protecting and needs guidance anymore, I can perfectly choose what's best for me and for him, and what we decided on together was the best for us. You don't get to tell me otherwise. He was not a waste of time. He's everything to me", Tyler cried.
"I'm not a little boy anymore. You can't tell me what you think is right or wrong and even if you do, I'd never believe your advice is the best one 'cause your life with dad has been a mess. I'm almost 24, finally, and I can't wait to finally get rid of this age 'cause I've struggled more than ever this year and I'm not gonna let you tell me that after all of that, I made a mistake to not let go of Lucas immediately. You don't get to ruin this year for me even more", he cried.
"T-Ty, baby, I'm- I'm... sorry", Kelly said. Tyler swallowed difficultly. "Yeah. I'll call you later", he muttered as he ended the call. He just burst out in tears again once he put his phone down, and Steve scooted over to hold the boy in his arms as he cried.
Tyler felt terrible about once again crying his eyes out as he was with Steve, but he couldn't help it. She hurt him with her words so much and he wasn't gonna let her keep doing it. Even if she was his momma. That didn't mean she could just make him feel awful about anything and everything he chose to do.
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Ohhh boy! What did you think of this little dive into Tyler's past? I've been wanting to talk about Tyler as a kid more, and why he wants to be perfect when it comes to relationships, and why he wants to be loved so badly. I thought this was a good way to do so, and I hope you agree. <3
I hope you enjoyed this chapter! Let me know what you thought of it if you feel like it. Until the next one, which might come sooner rather than later! Just hope you won't forget to leave a vote on the chapters, 'cause it would help so so much. Love you <3