(This chapter is written after Taehyung left Jungkook but before he finds out about Jungkook and Ji-Eun's marriage. It is a background on Jungkook's point of view).
I have one request please, I am not mad nor I will ever be for you asking anything from me. I understand my story is very upsettting and can be hurting. I know you feel sympathy and bad for the characters especially for Taehyung. I know I feel the same thing too.
But please don't ask me question about the ending or how things are gonna get better. Those are thing I can't tell you even if I wanted because then there be no point the story. I know a lot of your are concerned but please hold back that much.
Many of you tell me how much my story give you pain and I know that. It part of what I want you to feel, it isn't a good story if you can't connect or engage with characters. But please don't keep on telling me to make them happy or write happy thing.
I always told you I am fair to everyone, before happening their is also sadness. And not everyone has happiness to share. Just trust me on this one.
I know you said you are hurt and don't wanna read it anymore. And that okay, I won't be upset, it is kinda sad but not to the point where your choice be taken. All I saying is just trust me, whatever the ending might me it your point of view that can say if it a happy ending or sad ending.
Please don't mind me and enjoy this chapter!
And remember not everything you read is how it gonna end.
(PAST TIMELINE)
"You failed Jeon Ryen" the man in front of Mrs, Jeon smirked.
They were in their office, Mrs. Jeon who had taken over the company till her husband returned from his business trip gif an unexpected visitor in the form of a gang boss.
The older woman looks unbothered by the man's words. Why would she care about a useless road gangster? She doesn't bother answering and throws the load of the crash in front of the man.
"You don't have to worry about me, just keep your mouth shut and never come in front of me again," she says and eyes how the man looks at the money in front of her.
The power of money can turn even the biggest bastard into a dog. And she had a lot of them to throw around, she will buy all those assholw who would come in her use.
"Funny how you think money can buy you everything," he says without touching the money.
"It brought you 20 years ago. For a couple of thousand won you were willing to murder Kim YeonSeok with no questions ask" she smirks when his face turns into a frown.
"What? Cat got your tongue, Chang?" The lady ask very pleasedly seeing how the man was looking down.
"Ah, a name hasn't been heard in a long time. Kim YeonSeok a man killed for your jealousy. But" Chang looks up at the woman with a questionable look.
"But even when I understand your reason behind getting rid of him, I don't understand why are you still holding onto that matter. He is dead. You ruined his family, you shattered that poor boy Taehyung yet you are still not satisfied" no matter how much of a bad person he was no compassion for the evil form of the devil herself.
"Small people with small understanding" she chuckles mockingly and gets up.
She walks towards the large office window facing the outside city. "Jealousy? Tsk Jeon Ryen is a woman who doesn't hold any grudges against her enemies my friend. Kim Yeonseok was a dark past that with time has flown by and is in a much better place. But what he left behind is what makes me keep wanting to hurt them" her eyes lit with evil tinkering, her heels tapping on the marble floor.
"And what exactly is that?" He asks.
"Money. Power." She says with a grin on her face.
"I don't get it," he asks frowning at her.
"They say love is everything in this world, that the only thing in serve and happily love is to have love. But idiots don't know that love is only a moment of pleasure, a joke that only lasts for seconds. Those are words said by the poor to hide their pain of not having anything to live for. But I know better" she turns to the man with excitement and joy.
"Having money, and wealth is the way of life. It buys you all those stupid feelings and buys control over those helpless people who had nothing, to begin with. Instead of love be hungry for money, it the only power in the world that becomes this world to its knees. And YeonSeok had a lot of them! Where people would only get one he had both, money and love" Her eyes turn dark, Chang confused at the sudden sight.
"Kim Yeonseok uses to be the man that everyone desires, he was a man with power because he came from a weak background. Which was one of the reasons that made me fall for him, I wanted him because he was the man that could bring my life to a better place. But that idiot chose someone else, he took away my dreams of becoming powerful. So I took away both from him, love and money" she laugh evilly.
"And you ruined Taehyung life because he is the actual hire to Yeonseok wealth. You brought his family to the road after his death. I don't see him being any trouble to your path since that kid can't even afford to evil comforter-"
"This is where you go wrong" she cuts him off.
"This is the difference between you and me. You think just because taking away everything from Kim once gonna be enough. Don't you know life takes turns every second? What I took from them might not be with me tomorrow if I sit with the satisfaction that it gonna last forever. One day Taehyung can come back to bite me back and take away everything I have now" she says and the way her tone was it made her seem like a crazy person.
"Then why didn't you just get rid of the whole Kim Family? You can easily have them dead and no one would even know. Then all your problems are away" Chang asks. He didn't understand this woman.
Jeon Ryen laughs at his face "then what fun would it be one that. If I end them so easily I won't have any fun, I won't be able to see them be miserable, I want them to feel what I feel, painfully and slowly. They will pay for every second of misery they have given me. If I can kill them slowly and enjoy the process of their life being taken down then why wouldn't I right" she says and shrugs.
"I understand your hate for Taehyung, but ruining your own son's life must have been the most fuck up thing you have down woman," he says but she only faces his face.
"I have only ruined life but you have taken them. You are no better than me to point fingers. My son is my reason for the shameful reality. He is no better than the ones I hate" she says not caring if she was speaking evil of her son.
"But you fail in this one. You wanted him to marry that girl Ji-Eun but I heard he refuses, they are only friends, and she is even pregnant with another man. Looks like your plan to get her shares are failing" he says with a mocking tone.
"Life is a game, my friend, it is okay to low a few of them. So what if I failed to make them together, but what I have planned for my dear son will make his face fall on dirt" she took the phone from her desk and call someone.
"And what you gonna do that make sure son marry someone who he doesn't revenge love?" He asks curiously.
Jeon Ryen smirks, the shine on her face can reflect her evil plans "my innocent, crowed son sometimes forgets what cruel society we live in. People here are run by an insane law that objectifies the ways people should live. An unmarried man living with a pregnant woman isn't one of them. Even just a whisper is enough to in-fire those in charge" she smirks knowing exactly what she has to do.
Because we live in a world where people are caged by societal norms that even when you are innocent you can be punished for the judgments. Everyone is bothered by someone, everyone is a problem when they are not the standard. What more can be problematic than an unmarried man and woman living together? Even better when the woman is bearing a child.
And Jeon Ryen has the perfect thing to provoke in an unforgiving society.
Jungkook stands far behind the small cafe, dressed in all black, eyes tired, body exhausted. He began working nonstop in the cafe near his and Ji-Eun's apartment. And for a small store. After finding out that Ji-Eun was pregnant he felt the need to take responsibility.
He knows he didn't have to but she was his friend. Ji-Eun went into a major shock when she found out she was pregnant. The news was too much and unexpected because she had recently broken up with that asshole of a boyfriend of hers. She was scared and horrified at the thought of a child. Even Jungkook himself was shocked when he found out because that was the last thing they needed in their messed up situation.
She wasn't in a place where she could have a child, they both were living off each other, she couldn't comprehend the truth. She was scared of what she was gonna do, what people thought, and her brother who she have yet to tell. She went into hiding because of fear.
Jungkook told her that it was gonna be okay, though he wasn't sure how, he have went through many fuck yo things to be shaken up by anything new. He told her that until she makes up a decision she comes out of shock still he will take care of her.
So he did everything to keep his promise, he works double hours just to keep things going. He acts like everything is fine so she doesn't be stressed. He was trying his best but who knew pretending to be okay was much harder?
Especially when you walk around feeling empty. Because no matter how much he tries to be okay, pretending that Taehyung leaving was okay he wasn't. Having Taehyung and his son not in his life was much harder than people might think.
On his side, it is much easier to blame saying "he doesn't try enough" or that "he could have fought more for his family" etc but when you live his life in his shoe it is much harder to do those things.
And at some point it is true, he feels like he hasn't tried enough to keep his family. Even when life give him chance after chance he wasn't able to keep Taehyung by his side. He was only able to hurt him and send him away.
One thing or another whenever he and Taehyung become closer a sweep of wind comes and drifts them apart further. And every time it is always him that is the reason. It seems like his purpose to exist is to only bring pain to Taehyung's life and he is exhausted from that.
He doesn't know what to do with himself anymore. His heart aches, he feels so lonely yet he wasn't. That day when Taehyung left him he felt like dying, his whole was ending and he didn't do anything but watch him go. He wants to run to him, hold him, apologize, beg him to forgive him but not to leave him.
But then again he does that every time, he apologizes for his mistake, cries about it, he begs Taehyung not to go but when everything goes to being good the same thing repeats so his apology and begging met nothing.
So he let him go, how much more could Taehyung take right? But his stupid self can't stay away from Taehyung, no matter if Taehyung left him he couldn't do that. So every day he watched Taehyung from afar, not a day when he didn't want to run up to him.
Jungkook never missed a day where he didn't see Taehyung, he knows he said he will let go but it is much harder to do that when you love that person so much. Even if Taehyung didn't know he was still there. All those months and all those times he was around Taehyung. But he never dared to go up to him.
Besides, how could he possibly go when Taehyung was holding the hands of another man? Hoseok was always by his side. Always making sure that Taehyung was okay, keeping him happy and smiling. He was doing everything that Jungkook wasn't able to do.
Seeing Taehyung smile so brightly carrying his son and holding Hoseok hand felt like a slap in the face because he was living the life he dreamed of doing. How easily Hoseok was able to bring a smile to his Taehyung face in a matter of seconds when he wasn't able to do it in years.
And after that day in the hospital. When he found out how scared Taehyung became of him, how he had ruined his life made him realize that his presence in Taehyung's life was truly a mistake. He didn't want to believe but reality didn't hide for long, he was better at hiding than causing more problems in his life.
Jungkook sighs as he watches the last customer leave, he could finally go home after cleaning and closing the cafe. He was too tired today, he didn't even have any food because his last ship was overdue. He was cleaning the last table when another of his coworker came to him.
"Jungkook someone left this for you," the boy said passing Jungkook an envelope.
Jungkook frowns at them enveloped, he thanks the boy and goes back to finish his work. After almost an hour he sits inside his car exhaust. He closed his eyes for a moment before opening them and reaching for the white envelope inside his pocket.
He looks at the envelope suspiciously, there was no name written or anything. He rips the side of the envelope to find a letter but before that sometimes falls out of there. On his lap, there were pictures which were fallen from the envelope but it wasn't just any pictures.
Jungkook's eyes widen when he saw the people in the picture, and his heart breaks all over again because of Taehyung and Hoseok. It wasn't just one picture it was many of them. Some close and some-
With trembling hands he picks up one in which Taehyung had the brightest smile, his eyes shining, the color on his skin glowing, he was holding their son who was also smiling happily, but his heart stings when he saw the arms wrapped around his husband which belonged to no one but Hoseok.
In the picture, they looked like a happy family who went to take a family photo, not just that but almost all of their pictures were the same but of smiles. You didn't even have to look twice to see the happiness in them. Jungkook's hands dropped those pictures, his chest rising in sudden pain.
He angrily took out the letter which probably was his biggest regret.
Did it hurt? Do you now feel the pain that I feel? Do you know or understand what it is like to be me? Doesn't it hurt seeing your lover in someone else arms? Do you finally get my suffering? I bet you don't. You will never understand me, never will know how shitty it feels to love someone like you. Someone as selfish as you, you keep on hurting me, I keep on forgiving you like an idiot, believing in you over and over. You made a fool out of me Jungkook.
Even when you took everything away from me I still try to give you what was left of me but you played with me again. I trusted you, I care about you, and I fucking love you but you took all of that and throw it away. I dumped my whole life in your hands, my pride, my happiness everything was in you but you throw it away like nothing.
Even now when my life was in danger you didn't even try to pretend as if you care, you went with your life and left me to die. You didn't care about me fine but you fucking thinking of your son!!
You ruined my life jungkook. You never give me the happiness or the love that I wanted. You scared my life so badly that even when true love comes knocking on my doors I can't answer it, even when I have someone to give me that I can't accept them because I fucking can't get over you.
I suffer over and over, and that is only because of you. You made my life a living hell Jungkook. I hope one day you come to realize just how much it hurts when you are the one to be left, if ever you come to truly love someone how do you then understand what it feels to be played like this? One day you will regret all Jungkook and that day you will know how much it takes to be the one to hold it in.
Goodbye.
Jungkook blankly stare at the letter, the letter slips out of his hands but he wasn't in the mind to care. All he could do was hear the sound of silence and see the darkness of daylight. He leans against his seat, the strength of his body was all drained, and his legs were slowly shaking.
He lets out a shaky breath "if only I knew how it feels to be left?" He repeated Taehyung words.
Jungkook wants to laugh at that, Taehyung thinks he doesn't know how it feels to be left, he doesn't think Jungkook understands his pain. If only he knew what Jungkook felt. If only he know how much it was hurting him too. Everyone thinks it is just so easy for him because he doesn't care. After all, he doesn't try. It is so much easier for him because he is the one to make mistakes.
But if only they knew, if only Taehyung knew what it felt like to be that hiccup in someone's life. To be a person who only brought pain. To be labeled as many things, to be called many things, if only they knew.
He stops understanding himself. He only ever wanted one thing in his life and that was Taehyung. He only ever dreams of his happiness with him. Even when the odds were many he still wanted it. He worked so hard for it, and he try changing for it but in the end, it was taken away.
No know ever understands just how lonely it feels to love things that are to disappear. Knowing I wasn't the best I still tried, still wanted to give you all but I ended up taking all from you.
Yet he is the one that doesn't ever understand. He doesn't even feel the right to be sad right now. Nor can he complain because he has hurt Taehyung. He is only a crowd who can't even pretend to not be hurt anymore.
But he is so exhausted right now, the weight of this new yet old thing is overwhelming him again. He just wants to sleep, wants to close his eyes, and forgets about it.
After some hours he reaches the gate of his apartment, he was numb and tired so he just wanted a peaceful night to sleep. But upon seeing the loud crowd in front of his doorstep he freezes. Many people were circling, yelling, and screaming.
He wondered what must have happened, he walks a little farther but hilts when he saw the person on the ground. His heart drops and he runs towards Hi-Eun who was nearly passed out.
He fights to throw the crowd, and his eyes widen when sees his friend's condition. Ji-Eun was on the ground bleeding and trembling, his face and body had bruises, and scratch marks here and there, and her hair was messy as if someone was grabbing onto them.
He falls on her side, his eyes in horror as he tries to wake her up "Ji-Eun" he keeps calling his friend but she was nearly unconscious.
"Who the fuck did this to her?" He yells glaring at the people around him.
The crowd was silent for a second before someone yells "this girl is a sinner! A shame to the name of a woman!" A man shouts!
Jungkook jumps and grabs the man by the collar and punches him in the face. "how can you fucking do this to her!! She is fucking pregnant!!" Jungkook shouts, his body shaking in anger.
"She is unmarried, she caused a sin, ever since the two of you have moved into this society you have put all of us in shame" another person shouted.
"Who are you to fucking say we are shame when you beat up a pregnant woman" he yells throwing hands on him.
"You are no better than that girl, you being a slut in this society and expect us to be okay with it!" Ji-Eun hears one of the men say again.
She was in too much pain, her hands covering her stomach, her heart breaking knowing her baby was hurt too. She tried to protect it but they keep kicking her there, they beat her she couldn't do anything. She was near alive at this point. She was bleeding between the two legs, her head was hurting and she would feel her chest slowing.
"We don't even know you two and you just show up, what relation do you have with her to be living together? What is she to you? You don't have anything that shows that she is married? Yet she is pregnant! Bringing dishonor upon us. We will kill her because she will be a disease to this place" Jungkook's blood boiled hearing that.
"That right! We have innocent children and young adults who will see all this and become like her. Our daughter will learn to become slut like her. Who knows who the father of that child is? She must be sleeping around!" Ji-Eun cries with her few left breaths.
"She will either die or leave this place! That child can't be born without a father! It is a sin and can't let that happen in our society! You people think it all fun and game to sleep around and disgust those who live with honor" a woman yells coming in front.
"Why waste time talking! Get rid of this woman now" a woman comes and was about to attack Ji-Eun again but Jungkook was quick to throw that many away.
"You call this honorable society? Attacking a helpless woman and he unborn child! You think you are to be respected because you all are born with a father and mother! No, you are nothing but animals. Your people of society are the real monster who passes their judgment because the inhumane behavior you have are the reason why society becomes a shame!" He comes back to Ji-Eun.
His eyes teared and his heart-shattering seeing her like his. He hugs her while picking her up in his arm. He didn't care if she was bleeding, he was scared about her life and the unborn baby. He secures her in his arm and walks away from the crowd. But before he could someone comes behind him.
"No matter what place you take her, where you hid here she will be found, what we did here will be done somewhere else too. A woman giving birth unmarried will be unacceptable in any part of the world. She along her child will both be punished for stinking out society" one of Jeon Ryen's men spoke.
Jungkook turns to them "she isn't alone, nor will the child be born without a father." He spoke walking away from the cruel society.
Ji-Eun was rushed to the hospital, and by the time he brought her there she was unconscious, they took her in for emergency surgery. They said she had lost so much blood and had been trauma. But thankful her baby somehow was safe, even with all the attack on her stomach she was able to keep him safe. Though she was unconscious for several days.
And just like any of the days jungkook was next to her side, he was there taking care of her. His already made his decision which was to talk to her when she woke up.
He felt guilty, he knows it was not his fault but he knows who was behind that attack. He knows everything yet his hands are tied. He couldn't do anything, no one could because Jeon Ryen is a powerful woman with a dangerous mind.
Jungkook was adjusting her pillow when he her footstep which belonged to no one but his so-called mother. Jeon Ryen steps into Ji-Eun's hospital room with fake concern and flowers in her hands.
"Poor thing," she says but Jungkook sees through her will.
"What are you doing here?" He asked coldly, his crossed over his chest.
"Can I not come to check on my daughter-in-law? I heard what happened, my poor child must have been in so much pain. She has to take in someone else hate" Jeon Ryen goes to sit next to her bed and caresses her face.
"Don't come here with your fake concerns, you got what you wanted so leave us alone" Jungkook says looking away.
Ryen looks off her sunglasses and watches her son in disappointment, a mocking smile on her face "my poor baby how dumb are you? You think I come here to leave you alone? No my son" she gets up from Ji-Eun's bed and walks to come face to face with her son.
"All this time, all this planning, all this trouble I did to bring you two together is not only to leave you alone my son. I am here to take my son and his family home. Jeon industry is waiting for their hire, they need you to join us again my son-"
"I think you have finally lost your goddamn mind! Why makes you think I go back to that hell of home!" Jungkook shouts a little.
Ryen gives her son an unpleased look, she coughs clearing her throat. She steps closer and leans to whisper in her ears "because you are glad it's not Taehyung in her place." She whispered and laughs in his ears.
Jungkook fears the name of Taehyung, his throat goes dry and his eyes wide. His mother smirks in happiness. "Remember son I might not so much to you, but every time you spoke against me, did anything that unpleased me your dear Taehyung been the one to be punished. From a young to know everything that has happened to Taehyung is a reaction to your action. So choose your words wisely my son. You make a mistake and Taehyung gets it. My people are around all of you giving me news every second so be careful" she fixes her clothes and sunglasses and looks at her son's helpless face.
"You know your Eomma better than anyone right son? I do as I say, so don't keep on making me upset. Let that poor body breathe. I have headed he is trying to do better for himself so let's not ruin that for him yah. He has gone a lot because of you. Give him a break and you settled with Ji-Eun. I want you and her by the very day she gained consciousness" Ryen gives him a warning before walking away.