Fifty

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TW - depression

"Caius," I whispered hiding my wrist. Im sure he could smell the blood but it didnt matter. I looked over him, studied him. His face was full of agony.

"Izzy," he whispered again.

I took a step closer.

He didn't do this to me.

Then who did?

I moved to him. Tears were in his eyes. They fell down his face. Ive never seen him so hurt, so upset. He really does care for me.

"Caius... they are gone," I whispered my legs began to shake as well. I couldn't stand much longer. The pain I was feeling was excruciating. My heart felt like it was shattered into a million peices. I still wanted to die.

I began to fall.



I woke up in a bright room. "Where... where am I?" I murmered.

"Youre in the medical wing," Caius spoke. His hand was ontop of mine.

Oh... Peter is gone. My family is gone. My mom is gone. I am alone. Well... I mean... Caius is here and so is Alec but they have a long way to go for me to trust them again.

"They are gone," I whispered again.

"I know sweetheart. Im going to figure out who did this," he said. "I promise. I will figure it out. You need to rest. You're dehydrated," he said.

I didnt even notice the IV attached to my hand. "Oh," Was the only thing I said.

"Your baby is fine," he said.

I nodded tears forming as I put my hand on my stomach. "Peter will always be here with you. The baby is still 50% Peter," he said.

"I-I know. It still hurts. He won't be here for the birth of our baby girl," I whispered.

"I know but me and Alec will," he said.

"Its not the same," I whispered.

"I know honey," he looked down. "I may never be as good as Peter, or I may never be exactly what you want but no matter what Izzy, I will always be there with you. Every step of the way. We will make decisions together," he said.

I dont know how to reply so I say nothing.



Three days later I left the medical wing and stayed in my old room. I want really hungry, I lost my appetite for everything. I knew I had to eat for the baby but it was extremely hard for me to force myself to do it. I didn't really talk to anyone. I spoke maybe 4 times a day and that was during meals. The rest I was just sleeping away the say.

Caius sat next to me on the bed

"hi," I murmered.

"How are you?" He asked.

"Okay," I said.

"Do you want to talk?" He asked.

"Not really," I whispered.

He nodded and gently pulled me on his lap. I looked up at him with big eyes. He touched me on the forehead. "Izzy do you feel okay? You have a fever," he said.

"I think so... I mean... I dont know... Im just tired, and sad, and lonely, and depressed, and I feel alone," I whispered.

"Are you in any pain. What about the baby?" He asked. He immediately put his hand on my stomach. I flinched slightly at it. Not due to pain but just thinking of all the memories of Peter holding me close asking if I was okay and rubbing my belly.

"Im going to get the nurse," he said.

"Caius Im fine. Im just under the weather. Im depressed. There's nothing wrong with me," I said.

"Stress could cause stress on the baby," he said.

"I dont care about the baby," I whispered some pain in my voice.

He flinched. "Izzy, I know he is gone, but he is still here. Feel," he said placing my hand on my stomach.

"I know Caius Youve told me a million times. But I dont care. I dont feel like I can do this," I said.

"Izzy, you can. Look at all you-"

"Caius! One person can only go through so much. Get the damn nurse and make them do a c-section and then pull the damn plug on me,"

Caius slightly chuckled "you know thats not how it works,"

"I dont give a fuck how it works. I dont want to deal with this. The pain it hurts so bad," I moved my hand to hit my stomach but before I could Caius grabbed my wrists.

"Izzy breathe. Look at me. You are going to be okay. I will be here always. We will make decisions together-"

"Caius dont you understand. I dont trust you yet. I cant. I cant. I cant," I began to breathe heavily.

Then I felt a sharp pain, then wetness. I then looked down saw blood covering the white sheets and blanket.

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