Broken Pieces - Finding Way To Eachother's Hearts

33

"What?" Aditya asked her as if he had not heard her.

Naina had worked for years to gather herself and changed into a person who had an emotionless facade for the world to know her as a heartless woman. She had taken care of her feelings which were locked deepest corner of her heart. Then why was she feeling the pain twice the time she had felt back then? Back then, she liked him. But now? Why was she feeling the pain? What for?

'I have to do it. I am sorry Naina. Please, speak up for yourself.'

Aditya decided to go with the plan to get her emotions out. He couldn't just sit and see her looking dead from inside.

"She. She was completely different and opposite of what I am. Graceful, beautiful and perfect. She had nothing to stop her from doing anything she wanted to do. She's everything that anyone would want-"

"Wha- stop! Tell me you are not comparing yourself with her? Because that's what I felt like" his expressions had changed to unbelievable and waiting for her to just lash out at him.

"I - it might seem like that but I was ju-..."

"How can you? How did you even think of comparing yourself with her? Don't you believe in yourself? Don't you know yourself?"

She wasn't anyone's before. Not even now. Will she be ever in the future? If yes, when? She thought to herself when she heard him speak with authoratively.

"You know what? I really tried not to be rude and tried to understand you. Every single day. But all I get in return is your attitude and the victim you are trying to portray. I have had enough. You are nothing but a coward, Naina!" He bursted out as his chest heaved up and down with anger taking over him. Getting out of the car, slamming the door shut, he strode towards an alley where all the shops were closed shut as it was nearing to midnight. Almost an hour left for the clock to strike twelve. The people near them had reduced to a count of less than ten. The street lights flickered in the alleyway. Naina who looked pale after hearing him burst out, placed her almost eaten corn in the open compartment of the car and followed behind him to see his silhouette standing a few feet away from her. Running his fingers through his hairs again and again, taking deep breaths and exhaling them like he was trying to control himself. He had never lost his temper in front of her. But today, he had to do it. For her.

"Adi-" Naina took steps towards him and raised her hand to place it on his shoulder and the second she called his name, he turned to face her with his eyes fuming with anger and exhaustion.

"No! You listen to me." He raised his voice pointing his finger at her which shook her off guard. He was loud and harsh but only for her to hear.

"You can't just sit here and get to compare yourself with anyone. Forget about Komal. And yes you are nothing like her. You are nowhere near her to the kind of person she was. But can't you see how different you are from rest of the people? Can't you see how you are looked up?

Yes, she was the fine woman and would do anything and everything that she ever wanted. She lived her life to the fullest. Each and every moment. Do you think that she reached that level without any struggles? Without any hardships to face? This is a life Naina. It's a game of gambling! You cannot be anything without working on it what exactly you want to be. She was the person who did the very best she could to reach the level she was in. Not only her, even me too. We just didn't sit and hope for everything to turn out into our doorsteps! We worked very hard and to our very best, we could. She was scared and afraid before each and every step in her life she took right even before I entered the part of her life. And so did I.

Don't you ever think of what you deserve? Don't you ever think of being happy? Why do you have to think about someone who is not in this life anymore?

I tried. I tried being patient with you. But not anymore.

I deserve so much better than what I am receiving, Naina. But I never complained about anything. Because of Nia. Because she was happy. But it's only a matter of time, that she would understand everything and wouldn't be able to be happy when her parents aren't."

Watching Naina having no reaction yet, and not stopping him, he had no other choice but to say something that he would never even think of saying in his wildest dreams.

"Sometimes, I think. I really think, what if? What i-if it were you in that car instead of Komal?

The things would be so much easier and better just like it was before. Our family would be happy and Nia would have got to live with her own mother.

Only if it were to be you to drive that car. Sh- She would have been alive."

His coarse voice only reduced to quivering whisper as lumps formed in his throat by the tears dwelling in his eyes that refused to shed. His anger had dissipated the very moment he spoke about how he kept on thinking about "what if's".

"That's what you have been thinking, isn't it Naina? From the day that accident happened, you have been thinking if only you were in her place, haven't you?"

"Guess what? You are stuck with me for the lifetime!"

Saying, he walked off towards the car and got inside leaving Naina all alone in the alley. Tears rolled down her cheeks one after the other as she kept his words repeating in her mind. She knew any husband would definitely think like this. But when she had asked, he held no grudges against her. Then why did he tell all these things? If he did, then why bother to hide all these years?

'Yes, I have been thinking about it for all these years.... I still do'

Death. That's what she tried to do. Do anything to cause her death. Then why did God had saved her? For this? Only to hear those words from him? Why?

'But I never expected to hear it from you Adi....'

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The Sen's house which was filled with complete darkness, it was filled with silence too. The only sound was heard was from the clock in the hall which ticked it's second hand. The only light that flashed into the house was the street lights thought the closed glass windows. The night was darker as the sky filled with dark clouds and in no time, it had started raining heavily.

Naina sat on the bed in Nia's room, bringing her knees close to her chest as she swallowed the lump forming in her throat with the spoon full of ice-cream from ice-cream tub which held in her hand. Though she wasn't crying, tears rolled down her eyes continuously as she continued to finish the ice-cream tub in her hand.

It had been an hour or so since both she and Aditya returned home. The moment they returned, he barged inside his room and locked it from inside and had not opened it until now.

Aditya punched the wall in anguish.

"What have I done?"

"Why do I had to take it so far?"

"It was not how the night was supposed to end!"

"Why do I have to keep hurting her?"

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Dated - 10 June, 2020
Edited - 18 June 2021