Bloodline (Ariana/You)

Chapter 34: I'll be alright

Y/n's POV:

I watched her begin to walk away from me.

Usually I'd let her but not today, I flew back out here and drove hours to talk to her and tell her how I feel and I'd be the biggest idiot to let her walk away now.

Suddenly gaining confidence, I grabbed her hand before speaking, making her stop.

"It wasn't a mistake and you know that Ariana"
"Please don't shut me out" I begged.

She shook my grip off of her and turned around with tears in her eyes.

My poor baby.

I wanted to hold her.

"Please tell me you love me-"

"-I can't Y/n. Okay? Coming here w-was a mistake and I shouldn't have. I should've let you go and ignored everything" She snapped, shocking me.

"But I can't- I can't move on no matter how hard I try. If I'm being completely honest with you and with myself, I won't ever be able to get over you because I think about you often, a little often for someone who doesn't want me. And I miss hearing your voice everyday, hearing you tell me that you love me and that everything will work itself out. I miss your beautiful smile that you used to hide from me until I broke down the walls that you built. And I miss your laugh. You think that it's obnoxious and loud but it's quite the opposite to me, I find it soothing and it makes me smile whenever I hear it. It's perfect, you're perfect to me. And deep down, I know for a fact that you already know everything that I'm saying because I have this thing for you that I never lost and probably won't ever"

Using the back of her hand, she wiped the tears that continued to fall as she spoke her feelings.

"Whether I want to admit it to myself or to you, or to anyone, it's true"

"What is?"

"You've owned my heart since the day I saw you and I hate the power that you have over me. You can make or break my entire being and I hate it. I hate that I gave you that power that I can never have back"

"Sounds like you regret falling in love with me" I said sadly to which she immediately shut down.

"I never said that, not once have those words come from my mouth. As cliché and trashy as it sounds, falling in love with you wasn't a choice but even if it was, I'd give anything to be able to go back to the way things were between us...to go on that stupid Ferris Wheel and kiss you for the first time in public again" She said pointing to the ride behind me.

"It was a pretty awesome kiss" I joked, making me smile a bit.
"Yeah, that it was"

"You made me the happiest woman in the world but now looking at you just breaks my heart. It's gonna hurt like hell having to go home after this and not go to sleep next to you or in your arms, having that feeling of being safe or waking up to your stupid fucking relentless alarms that you somehow sleep through"

"I miss you Y/n" She said making eye contact with me for the second time tonight.

"And if it wasn't obvious because you're a doofus, I'm still in love with you and I hate how things between us turned out. I thought you were the one, I thought we were gonna get married and have little Y/n's and Ariana's running around"

She shook her head with a fake smile.

"When I had finally learned to live with that reality, when I had began to move on, you crept your way back into my life and then seeing all those memories in that box made everything come rushing back to the surface"
"I've tried so damn hard, trying to hide these feelings for you. I've been lying to myself and everyone that I know, I'm basically leading him on because I want to let you go but I can't Y/n" "No matter how hard I try, I can't get over you and I'm hurting him and myself by denying what I feel for you and that's not fair but like I said, you don't want me, you don't want to get married and that's something that I want"
"That's something that I've always wanted, it's something that we discussed when we first got together"
"As much as it'll continue to hurt me and break me, I have to let you go. For good Y/n. No more showing up at my doorstep, no more contact- at all. Okay?"

I shook my head, only making her cry more and her bottom lip quiver some more.

"It was all a set up Ariana" I spoke lowly as my hand combed through my hair.

"Courtney and Njomza set it up, all of it. I found out earlier today which is why I flew out here, I came back to give you this and hopefully give us another chance"

Both of my hands found their way into my coat pockets.

"But if you've moved on or if you're truly ready to move on from me for good, I'm okay with that. I'll be alright"
"Even though you said you're basically leading him on, I can tell when you're lying. It's okay that you like or even love the guy in the slightest bit Ariana. He's a good guy and that's what you deserve after the hell you've been through these past few years. I'll always love you and I can't wait to see you continue to grow from a distance if you'll allow me to...unless you want me up close and personal because I'm okay with that too" I said stepping a bit closer to her, my heart beating out of my chest due to my nerves settling in.

Confusion was plastered across her face.

"What I'm saying is, the choice is yours Ariana, because I've thought about it and I want you in my life. I want a future with you and I want little Y/n's and Ariana's running around, driving us crazy. I want it all. I want you"

"So what I'm asking for is another chance"

I pulled the diamond ring from my pocket, holding it between my thumb and index finger as I looked down at her.

Do I get on one knee or is that too pussy like?

"Y/n what're you doing?" She asked calmly, laughing out of nervousness.
"Ariana will you marry me?"

-

What if she says no 🙈

Also, I kinda don't know where to take this book anymore. Drop a few ideas please :)