August
"Once you finish filing these you're free to go" my boss said as he dropped a stack on my desk.
I sighed, rubbing my head, trying to figure out how long this would take me. Of course having this office job was great, but I was still given simple tasks like this.
I knew over time I'd get out of them, but for now this was it. I tried my best to stop my negative thoughts from taking over and started with the task at hand.
I organized all the files and placed them in their appropriate spots. After an hour I was finally finished and able to leave.
It turned out to be perfect timing as I was going to the doctor before they closed. After Lena's scare I instantly made an appointment so we could figure out what was wrong.
And to be honest, I was terrified.
After all of the years of no protection besides her birth control, it never crossed my mind that we didn't have a pregnancy scare.
Now it was all I could think about. For years I've looked forward to the family Lena and I would build and now it feels as if it's crashing down.
I just tried to pray nonstop as I made my way to the doctor.
As I parked my car, I sat still for a second completing one last prayer.
"God, I know I've made a lot of mistakes in my life. Just please, don't take this away from me. I need a family to call my own. Please be with my Lord" I spoke aloud before leaving my car and walking through the double doors.
"Hi, how may I help you?" The receptionist asked as I made my way to the desk.
"I have an appointment, August Alsina" I replied as she looked my name up.
"Okay I have you checked in. A nurse will be back to get you soon"
I nodded before making my way to sit and try and relax. At this point, all I could do was give it to God and trust Him. If we weren't meant to have kids, then it was for a reason. Even if it was hard to accept.
"August" A nurse called out. I stood up, catching her attention as she smiled and waved me back.
"We're gonna be in room 3. I'm just gonna get your height and weight real quick" She said as I followed her.
After getting everything she needed I sat and waited for the doctor to come back. I sat for about ten minutes, making me feel anxious before the doctor came back.
"Hello Mr. Alsina, I'm Dr. Williams. So we're here for a fertility test?" He asked as he made his way inside of the room.
"Yes sir" I replied, feeling uncomfortable already. He asked some questions and collected a sample before allowing me to leave.
Quickly I made my way to my car before feeling calm once again after taking a deep breath.
They told me my results would come in within the week so my stress wasn't fully gone, but I felt better taking this step.
Before stopping home I picked up two shakes for Lena and I. She'd been asking for a shake constantly so I decided to pick it up and do something sweet for her. After all the stress we've been dealing with, she needed some special attention.
I know that she tries her best to be strong and act like everything is okay, but she's nervous. And she has every right to be.
For years we've had this plan to wait until she graduated and we were stable before starting our family. Now it felt as if it was going to be taken from us.
As I walked into the house it was weirdly quiet with almost all of the lights off. I knew she was somewhere here so I made my way to the bedroom.
Hearing music from the bathroom made it obvious that she was taking a bath. That alone let me know that she was stressing as this was one of her coping mechanisms.
I knocked lightly before making my way in with her strawberry shake.
"Ugh babe. You're perfect" She said as she greeted me with a kiss, making me feel immediately better.
"You're welcome love" I replied, kissing her back. "How you feeling?"
"I'd feel much better if you got in here with me" She replied.
"Say no mo'"I replied, stripping from my clothes before stepping into the steaming bath with her. She leaned her back against me as we relaxed together.
"You know I'll love you no matter what right?" She asked as her fingers traced the water.
Simply hearing her say that put me at ease. Subconsciously I worried if this would ruin us.
"I know. And I'll always love you" I replied, kissing the side of her face.
For about twenty minutes we stayed exactly like that. Relaxed together embracing and drinking our shakes. And to be honest, that is all we needed.
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I hope you guys enjoyed this update! Now that its Thanksgiving break, be on the look out for more <3
