Filthy Beast: The Diary of an English Teacher in South Korea

Chapter 60

Yesterday was Saturday. We usually go out and eat. But my wife was feeling under the weather. Staying home is actually good practice. The Dragon Lady is no longer able to work because of her health. Therefore, our days of dining in restaurants have officially shit the bed. It's now time to economize.

She cooked pork and French fries. The meal was very good. I washed the vittles down with several glasses of generic cola. I'm a broke dead dick, so I can't afford the good stuff.

The Korean baseball season is underway. I watched the SK Wyverns while chomping on my supper. They lost to the KT Wiz. All the teams are owned by huge companies. The moguls look at the players as living breathing advertisements. I support SK. They have an American manager.

Our television is 50 inches wide. But the set is nearly a decade old. In fact, everything I own is old. So why not sell the stuff and move to China? I have a big decision to make in the near future.

I relaxed in bed with a carton of cherry ice cream. I viewed several episodes of a program called The Shield. It's a show that focuses on corrupt American cops. The writing is impressive. It's both naughty and hilarious.

I went to bed at 10 p.m. I didn't dream. I woke up at 7 a.m. and drank a cup of freshly brewed coffee. Then I read the paper while taking a nasty shit. Two Koreans met at an alcohol abuse clinic. They hit it off romantically and made a suicide pact. To that end, they rented a cheap motel and decided to drink themselves to death. They consumed more than sixty bottles of soju over the course of ten days. The woman died, but the man is still alive.

My heart goes out to them. I've been a heavy drinker for most of my life. Now I only imbibe about once or twice a week. My body just can't take the abuse any longer. Make no mistake. Drinking is a demon. Avoid it if you can.

I haven't been fucking much lately. My wife is too sick for coitus. Her Grave's Disease is wreaking havoc on her body and soul. So I jerked off in the bathroom while fantasizing about redheads with big tits. I truly am a filthy beast. I can't help myself.

I drove the family to The Church of Tits and Ass at 8:45 a.m. The sermon was on The Beatitudes. Blessed are those who are righteous...Well, you get the idea. I know that I'm not a good human being in the Christian sense. Don't get me wrong. I've never killed anybody or committed rape or anything like that. But I am filled with lust, pride, and anger. Lots of men share my affliction. Nevertheless, I'm hoping that God will give me a pass. Stranger things have happened.

The Dragon Lady went shopping with Chan-ho's mom. My wife must buy food with no iodized salt. Her friend is lending a hand. She left me by my lonesome. I jerked off again while enjoying porno. It felt good. I'm now watching baseball. SK is losing.

Tomorrow, I must go back to work. But that's OK. Things could always be worse. At least I wasn't born in Djibouti.