Yesterday, I checked my email at 9 p.m. The recruiter from the international school in China sent me a line. He's going to officially offer me a job tomorrow evening. I guess that's good news. But I feel a great deal of fear in the pit of my stomach. The process of acquiring visas for my family and me seems daunting to say the least. I shall leave this matter in the hands of God. If I can get the visas while remaining in Korea, I will take the job. However, if becoming a future resident of China turns out to be a complete pain in the nuts, then I'll stay where I'm at. So let it be written, so let it be done.
I went to bed at eleven, but I couldn't sleep a wink. Moving to China is a huge fucking deal—especially with a family in tow. Plus none of us speak a word of that devilish tongue. I feel comfortable in Korea. I enjoy my job, and I like coming home to watch baseball. This is serious fucking business.
I woke up at 6 a.m. and drank a cup of freshly brewed coffee. Then I read the paper while taking a nasty shit. Five Koreans died in Vancouver. They were climbing a mountain when a ledge gave way. The story was very sad. Yet somehow it made me feel a little bit better about my plight. There might be a fork in the road, but at least I'm still breathing.
Rice-Boy Larry woke up all grumpy due to too much activity over the weekend. He refused to eat his oatmeal. Consequently, The Dragon Lady blew a gasket. My wife is always angry.
"You can starve rike da Chinese."
She proceeded to dump his oatmeal into the garbage.
I said, "Why do you have to be poison all the time? Can't you ever be pleasant?"
She said, "Poison? You da cun. Fucken idiot."
I drove Rice-Boy Larry to school. We're used to her outbursts, so it slides from our backs like water off a duck's ass. Larry's still practicing for praise team. The boy is a dancing fool.
I attended the morning meeting. One of the teachers gave a devotion about his wife. She has a rare form of cancer. Therefore, he wants God to save her life. At the same time, however, he doesn't want to be too selfish. He tries to keep other people in his prayers. That's a nice thought. The world can turn us all into unfeeling motherfuckers if we let it. That's why we must always be on our guard against the forces of darkness.
Speaking of the forces of darkness...I taught crazy Bev in the afternoon. She was actually pleasant. Make no mistake. She still hates the school with a passion. But what's a girl to do?
I got home at 6 p.m. My wife made pork and French fries for dinner. The meal was delicious. I washed the vittles down with several glasses of generic cola. I'm a broke dead dick, so I can't afford the good stuff.
I'm currently lying in bed. I'm exhausted. I just hope I live to see tomorrow.
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Filthy Beast: The Diary of an English Teacher in South KoreaHumor
This book is a modern day horror story. A man lives in hell with his crazy Korean wife. They own an apartment in the Republic of Korea located in the city of Busan. He works at a Christian school. This memoir documents the abuse he must endure at th...