Yesterday, I woke up at 11 a.m. and drank a cup of freshly brewed coffee. Then I read the paper while taking a nasty shit. A club in Seoul is currently under fire for its racial policies. An Indian man tried to enter the bar but was immediately turned away at the door. The bouncer told him that Indians, Pakistanis, and Mongolians were not welcome in his establishment. Koreans are some of the most racist people in the world. They hate everybody—even themselves.
I'm still living in my employer's apartment. I'm all by my lonesome. My wife threw me out of the villa once again on Friday. However, Ken is currently staying with her. I tried calling the boy on several occasions, but he never answered the phone. I'm not bitter. He's had a bad relationship with his mother ever since she contracted Grave's Disease. Some time together between mother and son might be a good thing.
I no longer attend The Church of Tits and Ass. The service starts at 9 a.m., and I just can't pull myself out of bed. I stayed home and surfed for porno, instead. One of my favorite stars is named Audree Jaymes. She's a black woman with a huge set of chocolate melons. Audree isn't into anal or threesomes, but she doesn't mind taking facials from white men. What's not to like? I viewed several of her videos. Then I went to the bathroom and jerked off. My orgasm was quite explosive.
I watched a movie called Babadook. It's an Australian film about the boogey man. The boogey man crawls into a mother and turns her into a potential murderer. It reminded me of my wife. The Dragon Lady was never perfect, and she always had her eccentricities. But hyperthyroidism has transformed her into a raging hormonal witch. Her behavior is breaking up our family. I might just piss off to China by myself.
I made fried chicken for dinner. I cooked the bird using generous amounts of salt and grease. Fried chicken is my specialty. My main ingredient is love. I drank two bottles of soju with my meal. I got quite drunk.
I called the Dragon Lady.
She said, "What you want?"
I said, "Are you doing OK?"
"You don't need to know my bidness."
Then she hung up.
I watched the Ultimate Fighting Championship. A fat Samoan from New Zealand beat up a fat black guy from America. I was disappointed. Neither man cut the other. I like my fights nice and blood soaked. I'm a real pig that way.
I took a Lexapro. I don't suffer from depression. My main problem is anxiety. I think I have OCD, but I've never been diagnosed by a psychiatrist. I have terrible problems with intrusive thoughts. Lexapro has been a Godsend.
I paid homage to the Christ God. I said The Lord's Prayer on bended knees. No big surprise. I'm not some dirty pagan. I thanked The Savior for his many blessings. Even though I'm going through a rough time, things could always be worse. At least I wasn't born in a shithole like El Salvador. I closed my eyes and slept like the dead.
YOU ARE READING
Filthy Beast: The Diary of an English Teacher in South KoreaHumor
This book is a modern day horror story. A man lives in hell with his crazy Korean wife. They own an apartment in the Republic of Korea located in the city of Busan. He works at a Christian school. This memoir documents the abuse he must endure at th...