Chapter 58

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     Yesterday, I woke up at 6 a.m. and drank a cup of freshly brewed coffee. Then I read the paper while taking a nasty shit. The Japanese porn industry is in a bit of trouble. They can't find enough men who are willing to fornicate for money. There are only 75 professional male Japanese porn stars left in the world. I would never fuck publicly for money. The whole ordeal would strike me as embarrassing. Heck, I couldn't even get it up with all those people observing me. I've never been much of a stud.

I drove Rice-Boy Larry to school. We arrived late. I had to run to the morning meeting. The Principal gave a devotion dedicated to Martin Luther. He talked about what it means to be a protestant. His lecture became quite heady, so my brain shut down completely. I like to swim in the shallow end of the pool. Nevertheless, I shot him a big toothy smile and nodded my head up and down in appreciation. I'm wonderful that way.

I checked my email. The recruiter from the international school in China wrote back. It turns out that the pay isn't all that bad. Trust me. Nobody is getting rich off this chump change. Nevertheless, the school will pretty much match my current salary. So this offer has suddenly become tempting.

The Dragon Lady's Grave's Disease is off the charts. Soon she will no longer be able to work. To that end, the cost of living in China is much lower than the peninsula. She can sit at home and relax while Larry and I go about our daily routines.

Beverly had another bad day in Advanced English. She wrote an essay that was off-the-charts crazy. It seems she knew a deaf mute girl back when she lived in Arizona. She had no feelings one way or the other for the child. Bev stated that the speechless waif was just another face in the crowd. However, the girl went on to kill herself. This broke my Bev's heart. She cried and cried and cried.

In her last paragraph, Bev told us all that we were like the deaf mute girl. She didn't care about us, and she didn't want to know us. However, she begged us not to commit suicide because she didn't want to face the burden of thinking about us in the future. Poor Beverly is a loon.

I talked to The Pastor.

He said, "How did yesterday's professional development meeting go?"

I said, "It was crazy as usual."

"What happened?"

"Mr. Lipps discussed polygamy and cannibalism."

Lipps always goes off the deep-end. It's tough to take him seriously.

"What did he say about them?"

"He said that humans aren't born with the innate knowledge that polygamy and cannibalism are wrong."

"Lipps is such a stupid asshole."

"It's all about the power. He wants his title back. He needs to be named vice principal again, or he'll shit in his hat."

"You should tell The Principal this."

"I can't be bothered. I no longer give a shit. It's like water off a duck's ass."

"Well, it's important."

I shrugged my shoulders and returned to my classroom. I spent the rest of the afternoon surfing the internet.

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