Chapter XL

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Chapter Forty | Born Again
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I was aware of my conscious floating away from reality, drifting into a space no one has ventured before, slowly becoming one with that void that releases a peaceful aura putting the struggles I have faced at rest. This feeling was something I have never felt before, a blissful state that calms my soul and cleanses my spirit.

Floating higher and higher, ready to touch the sky and be free from everything that has caused me pain, in the back of my mind something was probing me that I was leaving something behind—something important. I didn't care, I was finally getting the peace my body longed for, but that was suddenly yanked away from me as pain so intense shattered the bliss I was once feeling.

If I could scream, I would, to the high heavens and back. I crashed to where I began, the feeling of a flame being lit inside me and burning shocking me back to reality; it started to lick at every nerve, cell, and artery in my body, forwarding a pain so intense. I felt the beat of my heart furiously pumping in my chest, blood rushing through my veins to their destination, preparing for a change.

The beat of my heart beats at an irregular pace, speeding up to the pace of helicopter blades in a whirlwind, I could feel every pulse through the tips of my body. The fire extinguished from my feet and rushed to the center of my chest as if my heart called upon the flames and took the pain from my limbs to stow it away in my chest. The twitch of my limbs register in the back of my conscious: cells, nerves, chromosomes and DNA switching and changing into something new, something different.

It was a war inside me— my heart battling against the flames, working to keep beating, to stay alive, fighting the change. Both were losing, the fire already consumed and singed the rest of my body, my heart was left to defend itself against the raging flames that brought unimaginable pain.

The fire constricted, constricting inside the tiny space it laid rapidly growing hotter, bigger, wilder; swaying within the organ that indicated my life, until it all stopped. No beat pulsed through my veins, no blood rushed into my system, no fire, and no pain.

Silence. There was no sound, no breathing, not even my own.

A slight brush of a feather-like a touch grazed the skin of my cheek, whispered words spoken to me from above, soft like a breeze and swirling around me. I took my first breath, everything rebooting and starting again. I could feel my heart start again, stuttering at a slower pace, the blood rushing at a normality.

My eyes finally slid open, after what felt like years in the darkness and trapped with the flames, I gaze into the night sky in wonder, seeing a whole new world.

•••

Everything was sharp, defined, and so clear. The light overhead was blinding, yet I could see the particles that floated in the air, millions of them drifting around like little planets in the galaxy. A flicker of movement caught my attention, my gaze flitting over to the side, everything was closer and zoomed in like a lens to a camera ready to take the perfect picture, every detail standing out to me.

Crawling around the dirt, a colony of ants traveled across the ground to their destination, their legs stomping in sync. Smells drift into my nose, different scents mingling together, circulating in the clearing; my nose flare, taking everything in, the smell of the forest, dirt, fresh water, and the wild. One particular smell caused my mouth to water, an ache in my gums beginning to throb and my throat to throb as if I hadn’t drunken anything in days— it was intoxicating.

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