Unexpected

XXXIV

"Why are we trusting this kid?" Bucky said as soon as she hung up. Nina sighed and leaned back against her seat as Bucky put on the coordinates of a park near Queens into the auto pilot. They couldn't just land on top of a building in New York without raising any suspicion.

"I know what this looks like," Nina started. "But I've known him since he was a baby. His aunt always lived in that apartment, and they would always come to visit, and when his parents died..." Nina paused. "He came to live with her when he was eight. Beside that boy Ned, I'm the only one he trusts. I'm the only friend he has."

Bucky nodded. He kind of understood that feeling of being responsible for another person. He had felt the same thing about Steve  he had to protect Steve, even more when his mother died. There was probably more times he had to act like a father figure around him, but he couldn't remember.

"How did he find out about SHIELD?" Bucky asked.

"One day I told him to come over and Steve knocked on the door," was all the explanation Nina gave him.

"Can I ask you something?" Bucky asked.

"You have been for the last few minutes," she joked and let out a small chuckle. Her face fell once she realised the seriousness upon Bucky's face. "Go ahead."

"Back in the Hellicarrier.. I saw-- well, it's something you told me a long time ago, I think, and for some reason, it's something I can remember about you but-- I'm not sure--"

"Buck," Nina interrupted. "Whatever it is, ask away."

"I saw your hands glowing," he admitted, sending somewhat of an afraid look on her face. A look Bucky recognised way too well. "I remember you telling me about regeneration. A-and Time Lords." Nina let out a breath she didn't know she was holding. "That means you were dying, no? I almost killed you."

"I-I.. Yeah," Nina admitted. Bucky frowned and looked down at his own hands. He had never felt this guilty about anything. He had almost killed the woman he admired so much, the love of his life. Nina didn't want him to feel that way, it wasn't his fault, but before she could say anything, he spoke up again.

"Wait, why didn't you change then? Regeneration?"

"How could I?" Nina asked, a sad smile on her face. "Tell me, would we be here together if I had? Would you have remembered who I am? Would you have accepted that I was still the same person if I looked completely different?"

Bucky wished he could have answered yes to that question. But.. if Nina had another face, another attitude, other interests and attractions, he wasn't sure if he would still see her the way he does. He probably wouldn't have grabbed her and kissed her the way he had, and he probably wouldn't still like her the way he does. Love, Bucky thought. That would be the most appropriate term. Not that he would ever admit it. Not until he was sure she loved him back. He didnt remember much about any of the feelings between them. Nina took his silence as an answer.

"I don't blame you," Nina reassured him. It didn't make him feel amy better. "It's not everyday you see people change their bodies completely. That's why I didn't change. I couldn't leave you again."

"So, you didn't change. If you ended up dead, you would actually die?"

"That's how it works, yeah." Bucky felt his heart melt inside, and at the same time, he had never felt more anxious. She had sacrificed her own life to make Bucky remember, to bring him back. She was loyal to the people she loved, and although that sounds good, it's the biggest flaw someone could have. "You should get some sleep," she ended up saying.

Nina had obviously seen how much this had meant to him. She decided to let him deal with his feelings and change subject.

"I'm not tired," he said. Nina chuckled. "You are, you just don't realise it." She took his hands and pulled him up from his seat. She walked him to the back of the ship and showed him a couch. "Take the couch. Since you flew us into the middle of the Pacific for some reason, it will be some time before we get back to Queens. Get some sleep," she said, before walking away and sitting in the front seat, leaving Bucky alone, smiling at himself.