Skinny Love

Chapter 74

I stare at Ashton's phone.

"But..." I travel off, shaking my head. "H-how?"

"Well, it wasn't like you were alone" starts Ashton. "And you're Luke's girlfriend, the fans knows about you"

I look at the pictures of me and Landon kissing in disgust. They're all over twitter. "He's gonna kill me"

"No he won't"

"Maybe not kill me, but he will break up with me for sure"

"That sounds more realistic.."

I hit his arm. "Ashton! You're supposed to be the supportive friend here"

"Supportive?" He snorts. "You kissed Landon! Are you really expecting him to be happy about it?"

"HE kissed ME" I correct him, crossing my arms.

"Well it doesn't really look like you're trying to stop him"

"My kind wasn't clear!" I protest as my cheeks turns red in frustration. "I love Luke, not Landon"

"Well I know that, and so does he, but if you would see a picture of Luke kissing some chick, you wouldn't be that happy, huh?"

"No..." I mutter, letting out a sigh.

Ashton drags me up from the chair, embracing me in a warm ash hug.

"Do you think he've seen them?" I ask.

"It's quite hard not to. They're all over twitter"

"Oh, Ashton" I whine. "I don't know what to do"

"I do" he says, stroking my hair. "Tell Landon that you just don't feel the same. That you're in a relationship with Luke and that you'd like to keep it that way"

I stay quiet. Until a few seconds ago, that's what I thought I wanted to tell Landon. But I'm not sure, my mind is a total mess, and my heart is aching by the thought of hurting him like that.

"Because that's what you want, right, Des?" He slowly asks, not sounding so sure anymore.

I look up at him, tears beginning to fill my eyes. "I don't know, Ashton..."

-

I'm laying in my bed. The place I've spent most time in since Landon's kiss.

Ashton promised to go home and see if Luke have seen the pictures yet. I don't doubt that he have, and I don't doubt the fact that he probably hates me right. I bet he doesn't want to see me. Good for him that he's leaving soon then...

How wonderful isn't this? I've made a total mess right after me and Luke made up, and with just a little less then two weeks until he leaves for tour. With me...

That's right, he asked me. The night I realised how much I actually loved him. The day after I officially had uttered those three words to him for the first time. I bet he regrets it. I bet he regrets it all - that he asked me, that I said yes and that we almost slept with eachother.

He hates me, and he regrets all the moments we've ever shared as a couple. No doubt about it. Because I kissed another guy. I kissed Landon. I kissed my best friend. Well, he kissed me, but as Ashton said, I didn't try to push him away. I didn't stop it. No, I kissed him back.

How stupid aren't I? I've found a guy who loves and respects me, and then I let this happen?

I frown when I think about the fact that Landon have had years to tell me. Years, and he choose to do it when I've found someone.

Ashton probably hates me to, because he finally agreed in being supportive about me and Luke, and the day after I do this?

I can't be Michael and Calum's favourite person either. I've probably made Luke crushed heartbroken in some way. In other words, I've hurt their best friend on a very cruel level.

Their fans doesn't like me for sure. The amount of hate under those pictures was enormous. If I would go outside and meet one of them, I'm not sure I'd come home alive again...

But most of all, I hate myself. Because in less than 24 hours I've realised that Luke isn't the only one who wants to make me feel loved. I hate myself for kissing Landon back, and for enjoying it. I hate myself for doing this to Luke. I hate myself, for not only liking one guy, but all of suddenly two.

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A/N ~

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