Skinny Love

Chapter 73

Destiny's perspective ~

As soon as his lips connects with mine, the whole world around me disappears. I don't think I'm quite aware about the fact that I'm not kissing my boyfriend. I close my eyes hard, my arms wrapping around his neck as I press my body towards his, kissing him back, making us both stumble backwards as my breath gets faster.

But when I let my fingers find his hair, it hits me. I'm not kissing Luke, I'm kissing Landon...

He brings me even closer, if that's even possible, but I put my palms on his chest, pushing myself away.

"No" I say, trying to catch my breath. "Landon no"

He stays quiet, obviously surprised since I just kissed him back...

"Why did you kiss me?" I ask, taking a step back.

He's just about to answer me when I open my own mouth. "Landon, I have a boyfriend! You can't kiss me"

"Then why did you kiss me back?" He asks, his voice calmer than before.

"I don't know..." I mumble. "I don't know"

He grabs my hand, but I pull it back, not allowing him to hold it.

"I think I'm in love with you, Des" he says, staring at me with huge eyes.

"Don't.." I beg, refusing to look at him. "Don't tell me this"

"I just want yo-"

His voice gets blurry as I stumble towards a bench. I need to sit down, this is all too much for me to handle... Am I like dreaming or something? One of my oldest friends just kissed me, blurring out he's in love with me? The weirdest part must be the fact that I kind of.. Enjoyed it. I mean, it wasn't a bad kiss.

Stop it, Destiny! You're with Luke. He's your boyfriend and the only person you're allowed to kiss.

Therefore, I kind of just cheated on him?.. My eyes grows big as I realise it. "Landon, stop saying like that! It's not funny"

He takes a seat next to me, sighing. After a while of silence, I realise that he wasn't joking at all.

"Landon I..." I travel off, not knowing what to say. "Landon... Why are you doing this when you know I'm with Luke?"

"I... I guess I just felt the need to tell you before it's too late" he mumbles. "That I have feelings for you"

"I'm sorry, Lan. But it's already too late. I'm in love"

"It can't be real if you're able to kiss someone else with that much power..."

I sigh. "We had just made up again, Landon. He'll never forgive me when I tell him this!"

"I don't think he's good for you" Landon says, his voice stronger and more confident.

I ignore what he says. "For how long?"

"Huh?"

"For how long have you... Felt like this?"

"Oh" he stares at his hands. "Like a year before the accident, I think"

"And you decide to tell me now?" I raise my voice, but reminds myself to calm down before I hurt him more that I already need to do. "When I'm with someone else?"

"I just..." He travels off, not finding the right words.

"You've had your chance" I murmur. "Why now? I mean, I would probably have reacted differently if it was back then, and Luke wasn't in the picture"

I actually had a small crush on Lan a few years before the accident. I just didn't knew he felt the same. But kissing him now, after wanting it for so long during those years back then... It was simply amazing. It could have been quite perfect if it wasn't for Luke.

"But he's soon out of it too" Landon carefully says.

"I.. I just don't feel the same" I say.

"But that's not true" Landon says, staring into my eyes. "You know it, and I know it. You absolutely does feel something, something you try to push away since Luke exists. But it's there, even if you deny it or not"

I swallow. What hurts the most with knowing how Landon feels is the fact that he's right. I can't help it, nor make it disappear. Because deep, deep, deep inside, I feel it. But because of Luke, I've been trying - and succeeding until now - to hide the feelings I've developed for my best friend during the years.

-

I've cheated on Luke. The guy I'm head over heels about, the guy I'm so madly and deeply in love with, the guy I can imagine a whole future with...

On the other had, it was Landon who started the kiss. Which just makes me a victim, right?

'But you kissed him back'.

That's right... I did kiss him back. But I was the one stopping it, explaining that I'm with Luke. That means I stopped it all, so I'm not a cheater. Right?

Landon have had years to tell me, and he chose to tell me now? When everything is just perfect between me and Luke. When everything in life was simply perfect.

I mean, how do you explain for my boyfriend that I kissed my best friend?

I love Luke, and he's leaving for tour soon - I don't want to blow this relationship we've built during the summer just because a stupid kiss.

But what I hate the most is that I enjoyed the kiss. I enjoyed having Landon's lips against mind. I enjoyed the way his tongue guided mine. I enjoyed his warm hands on my hips, and I enjoyed the way out bodies seem to be perfect for eachother. How his lips felt like they were made to kiss mine, and the way his hands softly stroke my body.

I enjoyed it all. But I shouldn't have, because I have Luke. He makes me nervous in the most perfect way, and he makes me feel loved and appreciated like no one else can. But he've never kissed me so softly, but yet managing to take my breath away. I love how Luke kiss me, the way his lips tastes against mine, and it hurts to say that I've never felt the same excitement during a kiss like I felt with Landon.

I wanna be with Luke. Just Luke. He's my boyfriend, the guy I love. I can imagine him being the one - not including marriage, but the one to spend the rest of my life with -, I can't just throw something like this away. It's too good for that.

But on the other hand, I'll be able to actually have a real relationship with Landon. I'll be able to have what I'm having with Luke right now. I'll not have to trying to keep the contact with Luke, keeping a relationship over the phone or a skype call.

I sigh, pressing my head in a pillow. This shouldn't even be something I need to think about.

I love Luke. I love Luke. I love Luke.

I'm slowly drifting off to sleep, focused on Luke. But there's this tiny little voice in my head that keeps pushing Landon forward, making me think of both guys.

The both wonderful and lovely lads.

The both lads who's fallen in love with me.

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A/N ~

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