At His Feet

Luke 15:1-2; Luke 18:9-14

There's a lot of things that have been going on recently, a lot that God's been showing me. There's a seed in my heart that wasn't supposed to be there but somehow, it was there. The seed was one that grew into bitterness and hostility; resentment and rage. A prejudice that shocked me to be honest. I never grew up with prejudice before, not to my knowledge at least. I was always taught to be open with people, never noticing their backgrounds, their race, or what sports team they went for so how did this get to me?

Pride. That was it; pride is something I always struggled with and when I got saved and when God got me to change my lifestyle...somehow I forgot to watch out for my pride. It's my fault. All my fault because when I started letting go of all the mess and yucky things in my life like the yaoi and bad words and things...I began seeing how wrong certain things were but I took it the wrong way. I started to put myself higher than others and I judged what others did and how they talk or their actions....

My heart is sad that I allowed pride back in...that in some areas, my heart is still hard but then I rejoice that God shows me this and is showing me this still because it means He wants me to change my heart and that gives me hope that God will and is ripping out all this prideful prejudice stuff and softening the hard areas of my heart. God is showing me how to be more like Him and less like the pharisees. 

One of the scriptures that hit me these past days is Luke 16:1-2, "Tax collectors and other notorious sinners often came to listen to Jesus teach. This made the pharisees and teachers of  religious law complain that He was associating with such sinful people -- even eating with them!"

How did this hit me? Well the word notorious caught my eyes. When someone is notorious for something, it is usually for a bad reason, often giving them a bad reputation. The tax collectors were hated during this time but other notorious sinners? The pharisees were mad and judging because of this. They believed to eat with them were to defile themselves. So how is it that Jesus eats with them? Jesus Christ is God so He is HOLY BEYOND ANYONE ELSE! We human beings are all sinners no matter how "good" we are yet the pharisees wouldn't eat with them but Jesus (God) ate with them. 

As I continued to read, Jesus gave the parables of the lost sheep, the coin, and the lost (prodigal) son. All of this together and it hit me: If Jesus ate with these notorious sinners then who am I to judge them? I WAS a notorious sinner, I WAS a tax collector. I was the one who sins stained me red, making everyone run away repulsed. I was the one parents would tell their kids to stay away from, that I wasn't good companion. I was the one that laughed at Christians and made fun of them. I was the one caught up in sexual sin and whose mouth, soap couldn't wash out. I cheated and stole and yet despite all of this...Jesus sat down and ate with me.

Can you believe that?

JESUS WHO IS GOD AND GOD'S SON ATE WITH A TAX COLLECTOR AND NOTORIOUS SINNER LIKE ME. He saved me and nurtured me, washing the crimson stain off of me and making me as white as snow. He didn't judge me or criticize me or condemn me like I deserved. Instead He ate with me, had a conversation, and lavished me with love I never knew before. 

So it breaks and frustrates me that I haven't been doing the same to others..... In Luke 18:9-14 Jesus tells the story of the pharisee and tax collector praying. The pharisee boasted about his deeds and said that he wasn't like the tax collector. The tax collector on the other hand wouldn't even look up to heaven...he beat his chest in sadness and asked God to be merciful to him because he knew he was a sinner. That's were Jesus said that verse "Those who exalt themselves will be humbled and those who humble themselves will be exalted."  

God, 

Please forgive me for my pride and the prejudice that I've been hording. Thank You for pointing this great sin out to me clearly. God, I repent of it; please take the seed of prejudice out and replace it with love. God, please give me love that overflows in abundance. Love that reaches people who are lost and those who are stuck in pride. God, please show us the opportunities You give and help us to stop hating. In Jesus Christ mightiest and holiest name, amen!

-Candy.