TWO PIECES ➸ BELLAMY BLAKE

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It's dark and Bellamy still hasn't returned. He just stands there watching the waves or whatever he's doing. I'm cold and I'm sitting by the fire. He's not and he's standing by the waves. I'm sure he's colder then me. Jasper explained to me what happened to Bellamy. another fight between him and Octavia. It was about Lincoln again. Octavia is really having a hard time dealing with it. But eventually she has to move on. 

'Hey guys, I'm going to get Bellamy,' I say while I stand up. 
They nod and I walk away towards the boy. Once I left the fire I immediately feel the cold air against my skin. I pull my jacket closer then it already was and walk over to Bellamy. It's not taking really long to get to him but it took longer then I expected. 

'Let me guess, you came here to fix things, black queen,' Bellamy says taking one look at me. 
He looks away again and I can see that he's still angry.

'Please don't start calling me that,' I say not really happy about the fact he's bringing that up again. I didn't liked being called black queen and I still don't like it. 

Once I've reached him I stand behind him and put my arms around his waist from behind. I put my head and his back and I feel that his whole body is tensed up. He's definitely still angry.

'And no, I didn't came to fix things. I came to see if you're okay,' I say.

'Well, I don't need your help.'

I let him go and take a step back. 
'Hey don't be angry at me for this. I didn't do anything,' I say frowning and getting a bit angry. 
I'm not going to let him take this out on me. I really didn't came here to talk about Octavia. I was just trying to get him back towards the place where the rest is but eventually he's not ready for that. 

'I'm sorry. I'm just losing Octavia. I already lost her,' Bellamy says with tears in his eyes. 
The anger immediately goes away and I feel sorry for him. He did so much to protect Octavia and this is what he gets back. 

'It's not your fault Bell. Lincoln's blood isn't on your hands. Octavia shouldn't blame you for it,' I say. 

'Some of it is,' Bellamy says not really listening to me. 

'Maybe, but you didn't want that to happen. You tried to stop it. Octavia will forgive you eventually. I did too. I lost Lincoln too and I forgave you. Sh will too. But the question is, will you forgive yourself?' I ask him. 

'Forgiveness is hard for us.'

A tear falls down on Bellamy's cheek and he really looks broken. I take a step to him and wipe away the tear. I let my hand rest on his cheek and I put my other hand around his neck. 
'Please don't cry,' is everything I say. 

'You remember the day you got taken by the grounders and you became a grounder? I was so angry at you for leaving. I don't want to feel that way anymore,' Bellamy says sad while he looks down at me. 

'You don't have to. You're not the only one trying to forgive yourself Bell. I did some terrible things too. I'm still trying to forgive myself. Maybe we'll get that someday... but we need each other, Bell. And you know that. What we're doing now, the only way we're gonna pull this off is together. Like we always do. We always do it together and we always succeed,' I tell him. 

Another tear falls down on his cheek and he quickly wipes it away. I sigh and hug him tight. He puts his arms around my waist and back and puts his head in the crook of my neck. I close my eyes and appreciate the moment. I now realize that it's been a long time since we've talked like this. It's been a long time since I saw him cry. 

but that's all over when I hear a clicking sound. And I know that sound. 

'Don't shoot,' I say opening my eyes. 
I let go off Bellamy and put my hands in the air. Bellamy frowns and looks shocked at me.