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I walk out of my tent a little angry to find Bellamy. He just left me alone in the tent without even saying where he was going. Or without even waking me up.

'Hey Octavia, have you seen Bellamy?!' I ask her while I jog to her.
She turns around with wide eyes and tries to walk away really quick but I start to run to her.
I grab her arm and yank her back.
'Octavia, why are you trying to walk away from me? What's going on? Where's Bellamy?' I ask her worried.
'He is, uh, he, he is-'
'Speak, please.'
'He is on his way to Mount Weather with Lincoln,' she says with a sad look.

I let her arm drop in shock and the tears are welling up in my eyes. I look confused at her.
'What?' I ask her ready to break down.
No, he can't be. Bellamy can't be gone to Mount Weather. He wouldn't be that stupid.
'I'm so sorry. He couldn't tell you because he was scared of your reaction. I'm so sorry. He left with Lincoln this morning,' she says also with tears in her eyes.
I break down and fall to the ground. I'm crying. I'm crying bad. The tears won't stop.
I lost him. I didn't even say goodbye. He didn't even say goodbye.

I feel Octavia's arms around me while I sit on my knees on the ground with my hands in my hair. I crying like I've never cried before. He was the only one who could keep me from totally falling apart. And what am I doing right now? I'm falling apart. And where is Bellamy right now? ON HIS WAY TO MOUNT WEATHER!!! Why didn't he told me?! Why didn't he just said that he was going to Mout weather? I could've come with him! .....

I look up at Octavia and wipe away most of the tears off of my face. They're still streaming though so it's hard.
'I need to do something,' I say while I stand up.
She nods and stands up as well.
'Just don't break anything,' she says trying to smile but it doesn't really work.
I nod and walk straight away to my tent.

As soon as I'm in my tent I run to my backpack. I grab the things I need and put it in it.
I have a hairbrush (don't know how I got that), hairbands, my jacket, extra pair of clothes, three knifes, a gun and my sword. I put on some warpaint. It's been a while since I wore that. I always kept the paint just in case something happened and I need to be like a grounder pounder, like Murphy would say. I look into the mirror. Am I really going to do this? I mean, I know Bellamy wouldn't want me to do this. But I didn't want him to go so we're even.

I walk out of the tent making sure no one sees me. When I'm sure no one is looking I run away. I'm running as fast as I can. I don't want someone to follow me or take me back.


I'm hiding behind a tree. I could see fire from a few feet and I don't know who he, she or they are. I peak from behind the tree and see two boys sitting next to each other staring at the fire. They are definitely grounders. They have even clothes like grounders. No wait, that are not clothes grounders wear.
Reapers. Oh shit. I grab a knife just in case.

I try to walk away but of course I have to stand on a twig. It makes a sound and suddenly a knife flows next to my head. I look in horror at the knife that's stuck into the tree in front of me. That could've been me! I don't want to turn around. I'm scared. I'm scared that if I'll turn around I'm dead.
'Turn around!' I hear one of them growl.
Oh shit. Great. I need to do the one thing I don't want to do.

I slowly turn around with my gaze at the ground. I'm frozen. I can move but I can't look up. I'm hiding my face as best as I can. I'm going to die today. Great.
'Look up,' the same one says with a low voice.
I slowly look up with my knife in my hand. The first thing I see is a sword. Then I see their heads.
'Bellamy? Lincoln?'

They look shocked at me. Lincoln lowers the sword and Bellamy lets the knife fall.

'Emily?' Bellamy asks.

That's the switch. I don't really know what happened but suddenly I'm really angry.

'How dare you? How dare you leaving me there without saying something to me?! I woke up alone hearing that you were gone! I needed to hear it from freaking Octavia! How do you think I felt? You can ask Octavia if we come bacl alive,' I scream at Bellamy.
He looks up from the ske and the look he gives me is a look that makes my heart sink.

'I'm sorry. I just couldn't do it,' he whispers hurt just loud enough for me to hear. I never liked it to see him hurt. But this is not a time to give in.

'You couldn't? What do you mean you couldn't? It's not that hard! You just needed to say that you two were going to go to Mount Weather and I would've said 'Okay, I'm coming with you'! But no, you just left me alone! You just ran off like a chicken!' I scream still angry at him.

'Emily, can you please not scream?' Lincoln asks me.
I look angry at him and he immediately turns around and walks away. I have no idea where he's going.

'But that's the reason! I didn't want you to come with us! What if you die here huh? What would you think I would do? Just sit around like nothing happened? No, I can't do that. If you die, then I die too! Don't you get that? I love you Emily and I can't live without you!'

The tears are in my eyes again and I'm going to break down soon. I'm not angry anymore. After what he said I can't. I can't be angry at him. Bellamy walks to me and puts his arms around my waist. He pulls me close to his body and holds me tight. I hold him by his shirt. I don't want to let go. I was so angry when I saw him, but what he said can't keep me angry.

'Please, don't ever leave me like that again,' I whisper.
'I'm so sorry Em. I promise that I'll not leave you again,' he whispers back.
He pulls away a little bit and presses his lips on my forehead.