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I look to the man who walks in to my room without even knocking or a hello. He looks very concerned.
'What's wrong?' I ask curious.
It can't be good.
'People died because of you. That virus you gave Murhpy? It killed three of them,' Lincoln says angry.
I stand up and walk over to him.
'What do you want me to say? I'm sorry? Because I'm not fully sorry. I'm not one of them anymore. I'm a Grounder now and I do anything to protect my people.'
Lincoln looks at me.
'What have you become? I don't recognize you anymore. The first time I met you here, you told me you were concerned about you're people. The people you used to belong to. Now I just see someone who wants them dead. Why Emily? Or wait, do I need to call you Heda?'
I look down at the ground while Lincoln continues to speak. I do feel sorry now. I know what I did, but I can't change that anymore. I can't change myself anymore. At least, I think.
'You killed three of you're old people. Three scares. You have three scares right now. Burned on your body. How many more are you gonna get? This virus is not just something that goes away real quick. Except if you have an andidote.'
I look up and meet his eyes. I shake my head with guilt.
'There is no andidote. But late me ask you something. How many scares do you have? I didn't thought it would kill them. I told them that a war was coming. Is that not enough. It would be my death if I told them more. I can't come and fight Lincoln. I wanted to choose my people. The people I truly belong to. Skaikru. That's my home. But you just don't get it. They didn't come searching for me. After all the time I've been here, I can't choose. Skaikru, that's my home. But my home is also here. I've become friends with the people here Lincoln and I can't betray them. I betrayed Clarke and the others. I can't make that same mistake again. Now let me talk to them. Please, can you figure something out? I want to talk to all the people in camp. I want to apoligize to everyone. Not just Clarke and Bellamy. That's not enough. Because I betrayed everyone and not just the two of them. So please, just figure something out so I can talk to them. I will tell Lexa that I'm going to hunt, she will be okay with that-'
'And why do you think she will be okay with that?' Lincoln cuts me off.
'Because she's my friend. Like Lexa told me. We're two souls entwined. Whatever I want, she has to be okay with that. So if I want to go hunt then I go to hunt. Please Lincoln, they just need to know that I'm sorry, that's all.'
Lincoln doesn't respond. I think I made myself clear. But I understand that it's dangerous to do what I want to do.
'If you don't let me go then let me talk to Octavia at least. She's my friend,' I say with tears in my eyes. I hold them back. Now is not the time. Lincoln nods. I release my breath. I didn't know I was holding it.
'You can talk to Octavia but not to everyone back in camp. That's to risky. If I come back with a dead leader then I'm dead too. When do you want to see her?' he asks.
'In a few hours. Tell her she can go with Bellamy because I was supposed to be there to talk to him. She can come with him if she wants to.'
Lincoln nods and turns around. He walks to the door and opens it. Just when he's about to walk out, I stop him.
He turns around and looks at me.
'Thank you for being a good friend,' I say with a little smile.
He gives me a little smile back.
'Make a choice Emily,' he says before he shuts the door behind him.

I walk over to my dresser and grab my make-up. I look into the mirror and take a good look at myself. Lincoln's right. I've changed. I've become a real warrior. I've become a friend for some. An enemy. A lover. But I don't think that will last really long. I'm standing in the middle of two groups and I can't choose. Skiekru or Trikru?

The Ark has always been my home. I grew up there. I have history from there. Bad history also. Only bad history actually. My live on the Ark wasn't really a party. It was a disaster. Mostly because of my mom. I never needed my mom in the days I've been on eart. But I do need her now. I need my mom. And not the angry, drunk mom. I need my mom who was kind and fun. She was all of that before my father died. Would she still be angry all the time. Would she actually give a damn about me?