Hollow (Harry Styles) #Wattys2016

Chapter 95

"If you truly knew that, you wouldn't do this to me," I moved my head to the side. "You wouldn't do this do us."

He cupped my chin between his thumb and index finger, turning my head back around to face him. "I'm an idiot, I know that, I do, just don't give up on me please, I'm trying."

"Don't lie, Harry, please do not lie, because if you were trying we wouldn't be here."

"Don't leave me, just don't," he repeated. "You promised-"

"No, you have no right to talk about promises. You promised to fight and love me even when you hated me, but you haven't, I haven't felt loved in so long, all I have felt-"

He cut me off, pressing his plump lips against mine, crushing my body to his. His fingers curled into my hair, digging into my scalp. I tried to resist, but it was pointless, as much as I needed distance from him, my body had other plans.

I pushed myself against him, reluctantly letting my hands travel up his body until the found their place in his hair, tugging at the roots as I pulled him into me, kissing him even more thoroughly than he had. His hands ran down my body, resting on my butt, pushing up, urging me to jump. I was about to do as he silently asked, but stopped myself, reluctantly pushing him away from me, for what seemed like the millionth time tonight.

"I can't," I sighed, breathlessly. "I can't just let you get away with this just because you make me feel good, physically."

"Than talk to me," he pleaded.

"About what, Harry? I'm done, so, so done with this, all of it. Every time you say something, you do the opposite and I'm getting a fucking whiplash with all your back and forth," I placed both hands against my temples, squeezing my head in efforts to soothe the headache that was starting to form. "I feel like I'm breaking, I feel like I'm-- I don't know what this feeling is exactly, but I don't like it. I need to- like I need to go," I said lowly, not sure how to say it without breaking down into tears. "I love you, I do, so, so much."

"Than give me another chance, please," now he was the one fighting to not cry.

"I can't, Harry, I can't do this anymore. I've been going through the motions with you, doing whatever you want so you can be happy, but I'm losing myself, again. I'm so lost, and I don't want that."

He sighed, rubbing his face with both hands before walking over to me again. His hands grabbed mine, pulling me to the living room. I tried to fight him, but a greater part of me was hoping he wouldn't let go.

He sat on the couch, pulling me down by my hips to sit on his lap. As comfortable as this still felt, we needed to have an actual conversation and sitting on his lap was not going to allow us to stay serious. I moved over, sitting at least a foot away from him. He sighed, shaking his head, resting it on his hands.

"Just one more chance," he mumbled into his hands before looking up at me, his eyes red and tears smeared on his face. "I'm begging you, I love you," his hands took mine in his lap. "I'll try harder, I promise."

"I asked you once, not to promise," I took my left hand from his, wiping away his tears, I hated to see him like this. "This is why, I don't think I can trust you." I felt like my heart lept into my throat as I said the words.

Of course I trusted him, with my life, but my heart was different. I loved him and he loved me, I knew that. But, that just didn't feel like enough anymore.

"Than give me a chance to show you," he sniffled. "I can say all this, but you're right, my actions speak louder than my words. I know I've said things, but I won't say anything anymore, I'll just show you, just let me."