[26] fears?

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GAVI's POV

when camile and i both found out our favorite things as kids were lego's, we knew we had to go out and buy a set just to come back and build at her place.

for an hour, we were at the store bickering on which to get.

"i still can't believe you didn't let me get disney castle." though, she's still on about it as she puts the key into the lock.

"stop acting like the haunted house isn't cooler." plus it was the only one we could agree on afterwards. "it's not." well, she still agreed on it so i can't care right now.

we hung our stuff up when she goes for something in the fridge while i put the bag on the island and wait for her. "here," she says and passes me a glass of apple juice.

"you seriously drink apple juice over orange juice?"

"why does everyone act like this when i pass a cup?! i like both but do you want orange juice?"

"it was a joke!" she already poured it, i also like both, and most importantly, i wanted to build the set already.

"someone's excited." she whispered and i rolled my eyes at her once i got it out the bag and opened the box to the endless bags of pieces. "hold on," i say after letting my eyes roam the box. "what?" she asks and i flip it so she can see what i was seeing.

"says 18+, looks like you can't build this with me!" her mouth hangs open when i take the bags i had just given her. "give me a break, it's next week!"

i almost forgot. but i don't show it cuz that's just rude.

"you nervous to turn eighteen?" i ask because as someone who sorta was, it wouldn't hurt.

"there's only two things i'm afraid of and that so happens to be one of them. so yeah." she says with a small laugh at the end while she scrolls endlessly to find a song to play in the background. "seriously?" i ask this for two reasons: the song she just put on, and her response.

"i mean you can change it if you want." even she knew i was gonna wanna change it. "it's not even something i'm not used to anymore."

"then what song and album is this?"

"dorothy and evermore, no?"

"it's dorthea but that's still good!"

it's gotten to the point where i can recite the lyrics thanks to camile.

i'll never admit to liking it either.

so before she can even ask, i move on for my sake. "what's the second thing you're afraid of anyways?"

"a career ending injury."

"so old age and an injury?"

"mhm." she says as she finds the pieces to the ones on the page she flips. "do you have any fears, pablo?"

now thinking about it... i have a good amount. "you could say that." she picks up her head to raise an eyebrow at me which i laugh at. "well, name some. if you want, of course."

i smile at the last part because it's such a... well, camile thing.

she'll never make you feel like you have to do anything for her or something that makes you feel uncomfortable.

she's really good at the whole feelings thing.

around her, my feelings hardly ever feel invalidated.

"like yours, an injury. aveces miro la jugada después del partido y me pongo pensar, 'ostia como me ocurrió hacer eso?' (sometimes i'll look at the play after the game and think 'how did i happen to do that?')" i earned a laugh from her which brought a smile to my own face to make me feel better about the situation. "yeah you need to stop putting your head where it doesn't belong."

"it's how i react!"

"yeah and it's gonna put you in a hospital if you continue." we're not even arguing, just adding onto the comments to laugh even harder.

"it's worth it when we win." i whisper and she gives me the benefit for the doubt as she continues to flip the pages.

"anything else you're afraid of?" she asks while we both continue. "perdiendo amistades y la soledad que trae. (losing friendships and the loneliness it brings)"

for a moment, she stopped everything she was doing to look at me. even i did after hearing myself. "really?" she asks shocked. "yeah, aren't you?"

"would it sound heartless if i said i have to be really involved in that friendship?"

"yes!" i say without another thought. "then let me not say anything at all."

i can't even accept the fact that she had to ask beforehand. "i have no one to lose. i somehow know no one can really make me feel lonely."

"jeez, camile." it's crazy how assuring she sounds too. "it's like that saying that goes 'you have nothing to lose and everything to gain.'" i bring up.

i just didn't think people took it that seriously.

"so if you were to lose your teammates—"

"let's not forget i said i have to really be involved in the friendship!"

i stop to wonder but it's hard when what i want to wonder about is right in front of me.

because... where would i stand in that?

it's out of curiosity, but i can't bring myself to ask. "name the song and album." she says out of nowhere and takes a pause from building for my response.

i too take a pause to catch onto the lyrics.

"i didn't choose this town, i dream of getting out. there's just one that could make me stay—"

"no way you're mumbling the lyrics!"

"it's all your fault!" not even two nights ago she playing it too. "it's from midnights and it's that one song to the messi edit you were crying to!"

"was that necessary?" she tilted her head and i just followed her motions to mess with her more. "you're on your own?"

"kid!"

"what—"

"everything you lose is a step you take! so make the friendship bracelets, take the moment and taste it, you got no reason to be afraid... you're on your own kid!"

oh, that's what i was missing. "you should start saying that first line instead of saying what you lose is everything to gain."

"you're so right!" i'm starting to see why camile thinks like this when this is all she listens to.

"pablo, i think after this i can successfully say that you're one of those friendships that's never worth losing." she says which makes me look up at her acting like she didn't say something crucial and continues to build her part.

"for a second, i thought you only listened to taylor."

i don't even respond to her comment.

i can't even tell if she'd want me to. so i just switch my attention to the song.

"oh calm down i bet she misses you too." i roll my eyes at that to which she laughs at. "you're so easy to provoke."

"solo tu, camile. solo tu. (only you, camile. only you)"

tomorrow makes one year since argentina won the wc and i'm in shambles.

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