[35] avoidance

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"don't you wanna go sit with—"

"no, not really." i say and take a bite out of the spoonful of jello i had. "are we missing something?" when aren't they? "we're not friends anymore... but for real this time."

not one part of me wants anything to do with him.

i'm so mad at myself to not sticking to it the first time too. "que paso?! (what happened?!)" both balde and ansu ask with urgency. "it was getting repetitive, that's all."

"in what aspect?"

"him as a whole."

they both give each other this stare that even i could see if i wasn't directly looking at them. "we're really sorry—"

"i wish everyone would stop apologizing to me. like, can't someone just give me a good punch every once in a while to wake up from this nightmare."

the moment i say that, they give each other another stare before completely going silent. "we should have another sleepover soon." they say only a little while after. i sigh feeling awful knowing they really are just trying to help. "we should. how about tomorrow night?"

"we're always free for you!" that's what i love about them.

so we start planning then and there.

though, had my phone not rang, we could have been at it this whole time.


"about time you called." i couldn't tell if i was happy or slightly annoyed at joão for finally calling me after weeks. "i'm a busy person, you know that!"

"are you saying i'm not?" last time i remember, we have almost the same schedule. "you're so annoying, cami."

"then why call at all?!"

"because i missed you, obviously." that's always good to hear. "good, cuz i missed you... too?"

"um i don't like the uncertainty in your voice."

it wasn't on purpose, it wasn't even for him at all, it was for the last person i expected to be walking into the cafeteria.

a personal escort from xavi too. "does she ever get tired of being around?" because i know i'm tired of seeing her.

the question was intended for ansu and balde who i turned to afterwards, but i had totally forgotten i was still on the phone with joão. "um, who exactly are we talking about?"

"um... you've missed a lot since you left spain."

"sorry that the one person who usually catches me up barely texts anymore!"

"you are such a liar. i'm the one keeping this friendship alive while you're in chelsea!" i know his comment was a joke, but it did slightly offend me. "so, what's happening?" he asks in a whisper. "you're not even on speaker."

"yeah but we're shit talking, no?" we're about to and it's not about to be about just her, but the person she's obviously here for.

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