[38] right words

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i'm just hoping aurora taking the day off to help me will be worth it.

but from what she told me last night, the way camile didn't even try to hide the fact that she didn't wanna see me already says a lot.

in the end, aurora told me not to worry but that's all i felt. "i said i'd help, no? so tell me everything you feel for camile."

"aurora, no puedo. ya te dije. (i can't. i already told you)"

my thoughts never correlate with my mouth.

i wish i functioned like camile... or really any person capable to expressing their feelings.

"you can, you're just not trying hard enough!"

"how do i try at all?!" this was already starting off like i expected. i was being stubborn even though i didn't want to because she's genuinely trying... she always has. "let's take a pause, yeah?"

but we just started. i would've told her that till she cut me off before i could open my mouth. "i never did tell you what i thought of camile after our interaction last night."

i totally forgot to ask about that now thinking about it. "so, what did you think?"

"i get it. i get why you get nervous, i get why words can't form, i get why you're so confused on her because she's just someone i've never met before," that says a lot from a small interaction. "i get it because first impressions say a lot about people."

"she hit me with a ball as a first impression," aurora's eyes widen at that. "did i never tell you?" i ask and she shakes her head aggressively.

"it was funny. she felt awful afterwards and when i brought it up one time when we were getting to know each other, she switched the conversation to the time she tripped on a rock."

it felt like i was about to laugh just as hard as  when she first told me the story herself.

but i couldn't when she wasn't the one telling it.

"she brought up an even more embarrassing memory about herself to make up for that one?" i nodded, just barely listening to aurora and staring off at the island while i remembered the memory. "says a lot about her." aurora barely whispers.

"she has a pretty smile," she continued, "javi met her too."

"she does. i like her laugh; it makes me laugh when a joke won't even be funny."

my stare from the island finally broke.


"you know, she calls me that. i loved it because hardly anyone does anymore. when she said it, it never sounded so right; to be considered something only she could call me."

now i was staring at my sister who motioned for me to keep going.

"i gave her my number once... never once did she text the times i asked just to know if she got home safely like i'd ask."

"you asked her to do that?" i simply nod at aurora, "why?" why wouldn't i?

"i needed to know if she's alright. if something happened i would've never forgiven myself. like seriously, if something ever happens to her, that's that and i'd lose one of the most amazing girl's i'd ever met."

i can't even imagine that.

so i try not to when i shift all around my seat.

aurora must've gotten the hint too. "can you tell me why you kissed her that morning? and don't even imagine you owe her an explanation, it's just out of my own curiosity."

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