[7] unofficial

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"i still don't get why you didn't tell the truth."

i hate when pedri calls me out on things. especially in this case. "it's not like i can say i have a girlfriend when i haven't asked her." ana and i aren't exclusive.

aurora simply introduced her to me and we hit it off.

"okay but camile clearly seemed offended." but... what does that have to do with me? i won't lie and say i could've worded it better but i'm honestly trying to forget the whole thing.... and i would if pedri would drop it already. "i'll clear it up right now."

i heard they're training right now so it's a perfect time.

pedri finds his usual spot and we get out the car when i hear so many others close shut. "there you are."

i hear araujo's voice to my right and i wave to him till i realize his pace isn't slowing down so i move to the side but he ends up standing smack in the face in front of me. "does anything good ever come out of your mouth?!"

"hey! i was supposed to yell at him." balde comes out of nowhere with ansu and suddenly i'm cornered.

"what the—"

"why would you be so mean and say something like 'she's not my type,' when there are better ways to shut down a question?!" raphinha yells at me.

"can i speak?!"

"no!" they all yell in unison so that's the end of it. "you're gonna apologize right now." that's what i was trying to say! "i would if you guys got out my way!" i didn't expect them to move aside as fast as they did, but i had a whole path and them following behind when i put in my ID.

but before that... can i at least change? "if you're not out in five i'm gonna grab you by your hair and drag you out." ansu tells me with aggression.

"i'll be out!"

yeah now i'm really starting to regret... things.

maybe raphinha was right. there were better ways to just drop the topic. it only escalated after she stormed off and i sat there alone and got asked what that was about when not even i knew.

i sigh in front of my locker and change into the shorts and shirt. but out of nowhere it hit me that i was actually about to go talk to her after everything.

if i somehow manage to make my situation worse then i'm never speaking again.

and i meant it walking up those stairs where everyone waited.


like last time, their practice was over and they were stretching. except she wasn't again either, instead she was with xavi which wasn't any better considering he also gave me an earful after the conference. "i need her alone first," i tell them. "and go away, all of you."

"no because you're probably gonna make it worse." maybe, but i can't have them there for that either. "go away or i'm not saying anything."

"oh you're gonna say something regardless, but since you're asking so nicely."

i roll my eyes at balde when she finally gets away from xavi to go to the cooler and so do they to the benches.

so i take my chance and call out her name. "camile."

her head lifts to the sound of my voice and i slowly approach her. "hey, we're matching." i point at our uniforms as if everyone here including those on the bench aren't matching. "mhm," is all she manages to let out.

"camile, i wanna apologize."

"it's been four days and you wanna apologize now?" it does sound worse than it needs to be. "i know it's late but i just haven't seen you—"

"hell, gavi, i would've accepted an apology over the phone for the fool you made me look."

"it was mean, i know—"

"but do you?" well, not until after i said it. but i can't just say that. "camile, i am so sorry. i was put on the spot and that shouldn't have been the first thing to come out my mouth." it was an impulsive move and one where i wasn't thinking straight.

i get nervous during and before interviews but it really shouldn't get in the way of what i say up there.

camile and i literally took the same media class too.

"except you weren't put on the spot all of a sudden. you were the in the spotlight the entire time while i had to suck it up and sit there with no questions."

i look a her confused because here i am trying to apologize, but we're somehow moving away from everything.

"if you want me to apologize for that too then—"

"i don't need an apology i just need you to recognize the difference between you and me. you have it all and made me look less than what everyone already saw me as. 'no interest,' 'not my type'? seriously?"

"camile, de verdad estoy intentando de disculparme pero como que es mas que lo que dije. estás bien? (i really am trying to excuse myself but it's almost like this is more than what i said. are you okay?)"

i looked down into her eyes with concern because it was slowly coming together.

"you just have no idea, and i wish you had even the smallest amount." she finally breathes out.


"forget it. thank you for apologizing."

"wait no, camile, tell me." theres no other reason she'd be acting like this. not to mention, it'd explain why she just wouldn't pick up to anyone all weekend. "tell you what? the obvious?"

"which is?"

it's probably simple to everyone to else, but i can't seem to understand. "you're proving my point. the idea was that you knew even a little of what it felt like to be up there and feeling invisible because everyone loves you."

"camile, you're much better than me—"

"i'm so glad you think so but that clearly isn't enough when the only questions i did get found their way back to you," i continue to look down at her because i think i might've just experienced what it feels like to have a wake up call.

"forget about the conference, seriously. but what i wasn't gonna do is let you continue walking blind folded at the fact that it's not just little kids who desire to be you and want to wear your jersey, but even the people right next to you on stage."

i can feel the blank stare i have plastered on my face.

i'm not offended.

i'm not hurt for myself.

but i'm hurt for her. "if i'd seen it sooner, i would've said something, camile. i swear."

"it's over now so it's fine. also next time just say you're in an unofficial relationship, please."

"what?" i went from the blankest stare to my whole body language changing in a matter of seconds when i shifted and but all my weight on my left foot.

how could she possibly know that? "ale and ansu aren't the best secret keepers." she says and we both look up to both of them looking intensely down at us.

"ana, right?" but my attention is back at her when she mentions ana. "you know of her?"

"saw her at a party once with you sister. she's seems sweet."

"my sister or ana?"

"oh no just your sister, i didn't actually meet ana." i cant tell if that's a good thing or not. but i'll consider myself lucky just this once. "thanks, i'll tell her that."

"please do."

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