Weasley Twins - A Fate You Can't Escape

Chapter 79 - Confirming Conclusions

Days passed and I didn't see or hear from Fred. Part of me is relieved, part of me is disappointed. I am glad that he didn't force me to show him, but I also miss him terribly.

I just wish that everything was normal. That I was back to normal. That the ginger boy still held me in his arms. But life sucks.

Today is one of my days off, and I plan to stay in my room. I don't feel like going out, and now that most everyone I know is hiding or fighting, I don't have a reason to. So I lay in my bed, staring at the ceiling. I flick my wand, making one of Ginny's little quidditch figures fly lazily above me. I wonder how she's doing. Has Harry finally gotten the nerve to kiss her yet?

I carefully put the figure back on it's shelf, returning her to her team. Outside, the first few raindrops hit the window, drawing my attention. I gaze out at the yard as the rain picks up, coming down hard. It matches my mood, and I like that the weather commiserates with me. Misery and company and all that.

I sit in the wide window ledge, watching the droplets race each other down the glass. I sit there for a while, just lost in my mind. I'm not even sure what I think about. It's all a bit of a daze.

I am snapped out of it, when my eye catches sight of something moving outside. I peer down, watching as a red haired figure runs into the house to escape the rain. I can't tell who it is though.

Owlexander screeches from his perch gliding down to land on my shoulder.  He pecks at the window, asking to be let out.

"But it's raining!"  I protest, stroking his head.  He pecks at the window again, and I sigh.  No arguing with him I suppose.  I push open the window and he quickly soars out into the rain.

I leave the window open for a moment, letting the cold rain spray my face.  It's shocking and surprisingly refreshing.  The wind howls, gusting I'm suddenly, nearly knocking me back on the floor.  I decide to close the window.

I'm now quite damp from the rain.  I go to get my wand from my bedside table to cast a drying charm, but it's not there.  I search the room, looking under the beds and everything.  At last, I come to the conclusion that I left it down stairs.

Grumbling to myself, I trudge down the stairs. So much for sulking in my room all day. I find my wand on the kitchen counter. I must have set it down while making my coffee. I snatch it up and make a bee line back for the steps. I round the corner and bump into something wet. Someone wet.

"Sorry." I apologize, looking up at the person I ran into. My eyes meet the brown ones of Fred Weasley. I just stand there, looking at him. I should probably head upstairs now. I should go back to my room. I shouldn't want to lose myself in his arms. I find myself leaning forward just a little bit, I can't help it. I miss him so much.

"Hazel." He sounds sad. I feel sad.

"Fred." I reach out a hand to touch him, but notice one of my scars poking out of the end of my sleeve. I quickly pull it back, clutching it to my chest.

"I came to get some of the stock stored in mine and George's old room." He leans away from me a bit, and I feel foolish. I told him to move on.   I need to let him. 

"Sorry for the hold up."  I take a couple is steps back, letting him up the steps.

"Cool."  He turns away, going to his room.  I wait a moment before heading up to my own.  I close the door and stand in front of the mirror.  Clothed in my pants and turtle neck, I look normal.  Perhaps a bit warm, but normal.  I pull the sweater off, revealing what is hidden underneath.  I trace the mess of scars up my arm and across my chest.  They don't hurt physically anymore, but I still wince at contact.  I remove my pants as well, replacing them with a pair of shorts. 

Standing in just my sports bra and shorts, I force myself to keep gazing in the mirror.  This is me now.  This is my body.  It's not going to change.  I need to start getting used to it.

"Hazel, I-" Fred bursts into my room, trailing off when he sees me.  I freak out.  I'm not ready for him to see.  I grab the blanket off of Ginny's bed and wrap it around my body.

"You..." His eyes are wide as he stares at me.  "You're skin..."

"Is ruined."  I finish for him.  "I know."

"I thought they healed you after the fire."

"Fiendfyre burns don't heal like normal burns.  Magic can't stop the scarring."  I notice my right arm is still showing, and tuck it back into the blanket.  "This is my body now."

"Are you sure they can't do anything?" 

"Yes.  Trust me, they tried."  I snort, rolling my eyes.  "I know it's gross.  I don't need the look on your face pointing it out more.  Please just go."

"Okay."  He says, turning and walking out, the door clicking closed behind him.  I listen to his footsteps clamber down the steps.  When I'm sure he's gone, I collapse on the floor, tears pouring from me.  He just confirmed everything I was worried about.

All he was worried about was if I could get rid of them.  Be pretty for him again.  I was right.  He doesn't want me anymore.  I had been expecting this, so why does it still hurt so much?

I look at the sobbing girl in the mirror with disgust.  She's sitting there, sobbing over some boy.  Crying because he doesn't think she's pretty anymore.  What an idiot. 

I wipe my tears away, and stand up.

I may not be the sexy girl Fred wants anymore, but the rest of me is still here.  I am alive.  I still have my skills.  All of my limbs work properly.  I can still use my magic.  My face hardens as determination flows through me.  I don't need to be pretty.  I need to be strong.

I go to my drawer and pull out my small stack of identical turtle neck shirts.  I put them inside of my cauldron.

"Incendio."  I whisper, pointing my wand at them.  I watch as they burn, crumbling to a pile of ash.  For a moment, the flame scares me.  But this flame is weak and under my control.  It's pathetic, like me.

I pull on a short sleeved shirt and a skirt, not bothering to put tights on underneath.  My burns stand out bright pink and twisted, but I lift my chin.  I will not let the fire destroy me once again. 

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