Dick Grayson one shots

Only human

"Grow up."

The words echoed through Dick's head as he sat at the table in his dingy apartment, his head in his hands.

His lips trembled as he tried to hold in his tears. Did he really mean grow up? Or did he mean for him to grow out of having emotions... or simply not to bother the family.

Perhaps a bit of all of them he supposed.

A strangled sob caught in Dick's throat, his self loathing growing with each tear that escaped from his eyes. No wonder he was always an afterthought. Nobody wanted to deal with him and his problems.

Steely resolve filled Dick's mind as he clenched his teeth. Bruce wanted him to grow up, his family didn't want to deal with him overdramatizing everything... fine... he'd grow up.

—

Dick drove into the Batcave, hopping off his motorcycle and making his way to where Bruce and his brothers were all standing in their mission gear.

Everyone stared at him for a moment, waiting for something.

Probably a smothering hug or 1000 watt smile... both things he'd left behind.

Bruce cleared his throat, continuing with the mission briefing, glancing over worriedly at Dick once or twice.

—

The mission went well. Their objectives systematically checked off. A dark cloud seemed to hang around the whole family however.

They could all tell that something wasn't right with Dick. He seemed to be more ruthless than before, none of his usual laughter or puns present as he fought. His face was blank and he worked with an almost robotic efficiency.

There was more than one worried glance sent his way, looks that were mirrored to Bruce as if hoping he'd know what to do to fix this version of their brother.

Bruce, however, had barely noticed that anything was wrong, chalking it up to a bad day at work. The looks he kept getting from his children, and even the thugs being taken down implied that something was seriously wrong. And Bruce intended to confront it when they returned to the cave.

—

34 days since he'd smiled. Longer since he'd cried. Dick had finally fixed himself, but standing in front of Bruce, all he could see on his mentor's face was horror.

"Dick, what happened to you?" Bruce asked, staring at the blank look on his eldest's face.

"I grew up," Dick replied. "Like you wanted."

Something in those words haunted Bruce, piercing his soul and leaving behind a dreadful sense of guilt.

Bruce shook his head, taking a step away from Dick. "That's not... I never meant... I didn't want this," he said, his horror clear in his words.

Something flickered across Dick's face. Bruce could've sworn it was distress, but then it was gone.

Dick filed away the emotions as they arose, staring straight faced at his father. He thought this would make him happier... why did he seem so... so unhappy? "What do you mean?" He asked, wanting nothing more than for Bruce to smile at him and be proud... "I'm not acting melodramatic anymore... and... and I promise to stop talking about my problems to you all."

Bruce stared back into they eyes of his son, so clearly looking for praise, validation. It took a moment for what he said to sink in. This was all his fault. All those times he'd pushed his son away, dismissing his problems and his feelings. How hadn't he realized that his eldest, the one with smiles and hugs to spare, was only human too?

"Bruce?" Dick said, his question remaining unanswered.

"I'm so sorry Dickie," Bruce said crushing his eldest to his chest.

Dick stiffened, something that seemed so unnatural even to himself. Usually he loved hugs.

"Please," Bruce said, his voice thick with emotion. "We need the old Dick Grayson back."

"No!" Dick shouted, violently ripping himself from his father's embrace. "No," he repeated quietly, the look of distress back on his face. This time it didn't slide away as quickly. "I... I can't go back... you don't understand how painful it is to fake smiles for everyone... to always have to be fine..." He took a shuddering breath. "I was hardly ever fine..."

Tears blurred Bruce's vision. "I'm so sorry... this is my fault. I shouldn't have made you feel like your emotions weren't valid."

"I-I'm just so tired of being perfect," Dick said.

"We don't want you to be perfect," Damian said softly.

"Yes you do!" Dick shouted, his tears continuing to stream down his cheeks. "Yes you do," he repeated more quietly. "I'm never allowed to be sad, or heaven forbid have a bad day and want some space. I'm not allowed to have feelings or opinions when you all push me around. I'm not allowed to not like being your verbal punching bag, to be hurt when you all say things because you know they'll hurt. I-I'm just expected to play happy family and do everything you want me to. But I... I have feelings too. I've gone through hard things that I don't even want to talk about with any of you because I know you'll just tell me to get over it!"

Bruce and the other bat children stood frozen in shock, guilt eating away at them. The saddest thing was that everything Dick was saying was true. They'd been the ones to do this to him as some sick way of making themselves feel better.

Dick sunk to the floor, hugging his knees to his chest and burying his face in them. "I just wanted it all to stop," he mumbled.

Bruce didn't know what to do. He desperately wanted to reassure his son, but he didn't know if Dick even wanted them around.

Surprisingly, it was Jason who came to the rescue. He sat down next to Dick, not touching, but close enough that the elder could lean on him if he wanted. "Thank you for telling us that Dickie," he said gently. "We're ready to listen... whatever you need right now, we're here for you."

Dick sat up, turning and falling into Jason's arms.

Bruce, Tim, and Damian took up various positions on the floor around Dick.

"I... I'm sorry I made you carry so much on your own Dick," Bruce said softly. "Like Jason said, we're here for you now. I'm here for you."

Dick sobbed, feeling some of the tension in his chest lesson. Peaceful silence enveloped them, broken only by the sounds of his quiet sniffles.

Everything was going to be alright.