My Heart is Broke-Kurt Cobain

Chapter 31

I look up at him and shake my head. "No, of course not. I just have to get used to it." I have to lie because this is his birthday and I don't want to ruin it just because of my fucking issues. 

"Do you want to dance?!" Shelli asks Krist. 

Krist glances at me, then back at Shelli. "Not until Kurt or Dave get here. I don't want to leave Kaitlyn here all by herself."

"You can come with us!" Shelli smiles at me. 

"No, not right now. Just one second."

Coincidentally, Dave approaches the table. Shelli shoots Krist a look that says, I told you so. Dave wishes Krist a happy birthday as him and Shelli walk towards the dance floor. Dave scoots into the booth with me. 

"You don't want to dance?" He asks me. 

"I'm getting used to this first," I reply. 

"You look nice."

I smile. "Thanks, Dave. You don't look too shabby, yourself."

I see a figure approach our table, so I look up and find myself staring at Kurt. I gasp and I leap out of the booth, wrapping my arms around him. 

"I missed you!" I exclaim and back away from him. He's wearing his typical sweater and ripped jeans with patches in it. Now I feel like an idiot being all dressed up. 

Kurt, on the other hand, can't seem to take his eyes off of me. He keeps staring at me as if he's just seen an angel. 

"You're so beautiful," He kisses me and then we sit down at the booth. "Hi, Dave. Where's Krist?"

"Dancing with Shelli," I point over to them. 

"I'm going to go with them," Dave excuses himself from the table and makes his way over to Krist and Shelli, leaving Kurt and I alone. 

Out of my peripheral vision, I can still see Kurt staring at me. I'm starting to think that it's because there's something wrong with me. 

Maybe there's a chunk of mascara stuck in my eyelash, or one part of my hair isn't curled, or none of this looks good and I actually look stupid. It's probably my cuts that are now barely visible that he's staring at. 

I don't blame him. I look like a freak when the scars show. 

"Is there something wrong?" I blatantly ask him. 

He blinks. "What? No. I'm just...amazed by how stunning you look."

I blush. "I thought that you were judging me."

He furrows his eyebrow. "A man like me could never judge a woman like you."

I chuckle. "And what do you mean by that?"

"You're out of my league, Kaitlyn. I mean, have you seen yourself?"

I stare at him, my jaw on the floor. There's no way that those words just came out of his mouth. 

If anything, he is out my league. Kurt is so handsome on a different level that I can't even comprehend. The fact that he doesn't even realize how handsome he is is beyond me. 

That's why we probably get along so well-he thinks that I'm really beautiful, but I don't believe that, and I think he's really handsome, but he doesn't believe that. His blue eyes are what capture me the most. They're so enchanting. I get lose in them and feel like I'm drowning in an ocean when I stare into them. 

But the problem is that I don't mind drowning when I'm with him. 

"No," I shake my head. "You're out of my league."

He shakes his head. "You're out of your mind is what you are."

I lean in and kiss him, wrapping my arms around his neck. He wraps his arms around my lower back, pulling me into him. I'm on his lap now, wrapping my legs tightly around his waist. 

"I've never done that before," I chuckle, still breathing heavily. 

He doesn't respond. He just groans and continues to kiss me. 

I forget about the fact that we're in a public place and people can see us. 

None of that matters when I'm with Kurt. When I'm with Kurt, things are different. Everything just makes sense. 

If there were to be an earthquake or something, it would just make sense to me because of Kurt. If I were to get her, it would make sense because of Kurt. Everything is better when I'm with Kurt. 

I feel loved and protected by him. He has some sort of possessiveness over me. He's very protective of me and I love it. The way he makes me feel is something that I'd kill for. 

No one has ever made me feel this way before-not even Ethan. I've only felt good things around Kurt...for the most part. I've never been scared of Kurt before or nervous because of him, but I felt that way with my father and Ethan. 

They say that you go after people that resemble your father, but nothing about Kurt reminds me of my father. 

Never in a million years. 

Someone clears their throat very loudly. Kurt and I break away from our kiss and I turn to see Krist staring down at us, his arms folded across his chest. 

It happened again. I forgot that I was in a public place. 

I stare at Kurt, smiling softly, but extremely embarrassed. 

I climb off of Kurt's lap and want to look up at Krist, but it feels like there's a pressure forcing my neck down. I'm too scared to look at Krist-well, too embarrassed is more like it. 

"Having a good time?" Krist smirks at us. 

I bury my face into my hands and start shaking my head back and forth. 

"K, calm down," Kurt wraps an arm around me. 

"You guys should come dance with us!" Shelli runs over to us, out of breath. 

I shake my head. The last time I attempted dancing was with my father at a Daddy-Daughter Dance. I was twelve at the time and it was the last Daddy-Daughter dance that I would ever get with him. 

My father didn't even want to go. He made it very fucking clear that he didn't want to go, but then he went on a rant about how I was forcing him to go. We ended up going and all of my friends met my father for the first time. 

He was so sweet to them. I was upset that night because I knew that he was never going to treat me that way ever again. A slow song came on and I begged my father to dance with me. He was so frustrated with me for asking him over and over again, but I didn't care because I knew that he wasn't going to do anything, due to us being in public. 

We went over to the dance floor and I tried to dance, but I kept stepping on his feet. He was getting frustrated with me and he was jerking me around, trying to get me to do the right moves, but I kept messing up. He dragged me out of the dance and we left. 

He told me that he didn't want to be seen as a father with a daughter who couldn't dance for shit. 

"I can't dance," I reply. 

"Me neither," Kurt replies, too. 

As I make eye-contact with Krist, I decide to get up and dance with him, even if Kurt doesn't go. It's Krist's birthday and he wants us to dance, so I'll dance. 

I'll try.