I put my phone down and sat up when Siah walked into my room. "Ya dad said to fix something to eat before you go to sleep," he mumbled, not fully coming in my room. "Josiah!" I called out before I could think as he began to walk away.
He stopped in his tracks, turning to me, "hm."
Ever since last night, I have been trying to talk to him alone. He was either in his room or I'd walk into the kitchen and he'd walk out. Or I would go to his room and he'd find a reason to need to step out or he was busy.
"Can you come in here real quick?" I asked, looking hopeful. He didn't hide how tired he looked. "Brianna I'm-" he started. "Please Josiah, I just wanna talk to you. It'll be quick."
He complied, stepping into my room and closing the door. Of course, Sky came running when she heard her only opening to my room being closed. which caused her to start scratching on the door.
Josiah, rested his hands in his pockets, keeping his eyes on me which I could tell was a struggle. "Go ahead."
"I," I didn't know how to start. "I love you, Josiah, more than anything. And you know that I would never put any of you in danger. I just want you to trust me."
I could tell everything I was saying was going in one ear and out the other. He rolled his neck, probably trying to find some type of distraction. "Do you love him?" He deadpanned.
I bit my lip, nervously looking down at my feet.
"Just tell me you don't love him, Brianna, please" he whispered.
𝙆𝙚𝙢𝙖𝙧 🤓🥰~ 𝙄'𝙡𝙡 𝙛𝙞𝙜𝙪𝙧𝙚 𝙨𝙤𝙢𝙚𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙤𝙪𝙩. 𝙄 𝙡𝙤𝙫𝙚 𝙮𝙤𝙪.
Both of our eyes looked at the fresh notification. I felt the lump in my throat forming as his eyes lingered longer than it needed to. His expression hurt me more than ever, the hurtful betrayal in his eyes.
"I do love him, Siah," I mumbled tears brimming my eyes.
He muttered something under his breath, shaking his head. His head turned to me an oppressive look on his face, "how can you even say some shit like that?"
"With all the shit they've cost us. To your mama? How can you even look at him and know he was a part of that,"
I stood up shaking my head, "No you can't say that, 'cause that is beyond unfair! He was six when it happened. How would he have caused that Josiah? Huh?" I shouted tearfully.
I scoffed. "I don't get why you can't understand it. I love him and he loves me. We've done everything to keep each other safe and he has done so many things to risk his life and reputation to make sure you were safe and dads. He was the one who told me the meeting in Cali was a setup. He called me terrified for my father's life. And he's a horrible person, just because of the family he was born into?"
I couldn't stop anything that came to my head from flowing out of my mouth. "His family can say the same shit about us!" I yelled getting frustrated. He licked his lips looking away from me.
I walked over to him grabbing his face so he'd look at me. "Terrible people" I used hand quotes. "Not safe." I started counting on my fingers. "A risk." "They're the reason this or that happened." I wiped my tears aggressively, getting upset I was crying.
At this point, Sky was barking and scratching at the door hearing my shouting.
"I believe you, Brianna." He looked at me with low eyes. "He loves you, I can tell. But I-" he sighed. He wiped his eyes staying quiet for a moment. "I just won't ever understand how you can look at him knowing he's related to that monster. How y'all even had the first conversation and you looked at him and didn't feel the vengeance I felt when we found out who he was."
"Man-" he blew out a breath of air. "H-his" his voice cracked making him look away from me. "His cousin killed both our mothers Brianna," I watch a tear roll down his face.
"And you ca' just lay up with him. I-I don't understand it." He sniffed. "But if that's the nigga you want then ight." He shrugged, grabbing his phone. "You my baby cousin, hell my baby sista'. If you positive he is better than his last name then I'll trust you. But I'm not finna play nice wit' him. I trust you, not him."
I smiled through my tears. All I could do was open my arms for a hug. He enveloped me in his arms and held me for as long as I needed him to.
