Would It Matter // Rick Grimes

Chapter 49

Rick already left with a few others and so I was alone with Carl, Emma and Judith.

"Mom, I'm going to push Emma and Judith around for a little bit." Carl said.

"Okay, have fun." I said, smiling.

"Of course we will." Carl said, before walking outside with Emma and Judith in the stroller.

I sat on the bench on the porch and just watched everything. I saw something move. It was more like someone. I stood up and walked to it. I saw a woman that dressed like Lori at the prison. When she turned around, I realized it is Lori. With blood on her shirt. It was after the c-section.

"Mom, are you okay?" Carl asked, behind me.

"I don't know." I said, tears in my eyes.

"Do you want to talk about it?" He asked.

"Well, lately I've been seeing Lori. She's standing right in front of me. Just looking at me. She has blood on her shirt." I said. "Am I going crazy Carl?" I asked, turning to him.

"You're not going crazy mom. You're missing her. I miss her everyday." He said.

"But I thought I let her go." I said.

"Maybe you're not ready to let her go. Sometimes it feels like you did but in reality, you didn't. She's letting you know she's always with you. Every step you take. She's living through you because you're her sister." He said.

"Did you let her go?" I asked.

"Yeah because I was ready to. It'll take longer for you because you both were sisters." He said. "You'll get there mom. You'll be ready to let her go but you can't rush it." He said.

"Thank you Carl. You're a sweet boy, actually, a sweet man because you're grown up and mature." I said, hugging him.

"You can come to me for anything mom, you know that right?" He said, hugging back.

"I know and I'm thankful for it." I said.

I was sitting on the steps on the porch, looking at the sky. Rick and the others has been gone for hours and I was getting worried. The gate soon opened and I looked to see them returning. I stood up and walked to them.

"Welcome back. How did everything go?" I said.

"It went well and we killed Negan." Rick told me.

"So they're not a threat to Hilltop? Or us?" I asked.

"Yeah." He said.

I feel like he's hiding something from me but I didn't want to make him tell me.

It was soon dark and everyone was in their homes. Rick was putting Emma and Judith to sleep while I was getting ready for bed. When I took my bra off and was about to put my shirt on, Rick came into the room.

"That's a beautiful sight." He said.

"Even with my swollen belly?" I asked, chuckling.

"Yeah, you're beautiful in every way. Swollen belly and all." He said.

"Thank you Rick. Now let's get to bed." I said, laying down after putting on a shirt.

He laid down next to me and wrapped an arm around me. I closed my eyes and fell asleep a few minutes later.