Would It Matter // Rick Grimes

Chapter 15

We were all packing to leave to go to the CDC. I packed mine, Carls and Emma's things even though Emma doesn't have that many things. Rick packed his and we put them in the vehicle we're going in. Rick walked over and put his arm around me.

"Burying other people is bad enough but the thought of one of us..." Rick said.

"Rick. We're still here and that's what matters. You didn't lose us." I said.

"Are we safe now dad?" Carl asked. "Now that we're back together?" He asked.

"I won't leave again. I promise you that. Not for anything. Now give me a chance to speak to your step-mom about some things, okay?" Rick said.

"Okay." Carl said.

"Carol, can you take Emma to the camp? I want to talk to Sydney in private." Rick said.

"Of course." She said, getting Emma from me then walked to the camp.

"Shane blames me for not being here. Do you? We got guns now. We're stronger." He said.

"I don't blame you Rick. I know you did what you thought was right. We are stronger with more guns but weaker at the same time after losing people." I said.

"What about the CDC?" He asked.

"I think it's a good idea but also risky. But there's a risk in every decision we make." I said. "I see why you want us to go to the CDC but they're just scared. Scared we might lose someone else. But I'm with any decision you make because I trust you. I have ever since I met you." I said.

"Thank you Sydney." He said, smiling at me. "I love you." He said.

"I love you too Rick. Always will." I said, smiling back.

He leaned down and kissed me with his hands on my hips. We then pulled away and got ready to leave. I was in the car with Rick driving, me in the passenger seat with Emma on my lap and Carl between me and Rick. Carol and Sophia was in the back of the car. We soon came to a stop and got out.

"I told you we wouldn't get far with that hose. I said I needed the one from the cube van." Dale said.

"Can you jury-rig it?" Rick asked.

"That's all it's been. It's more tape than hose." Dale said.

"I see something up ahead. A gas station if we're lucky." Shane said.

"Y'all Jim ain't doing so good. I don't think he'll make it any further." Jacqui said.

"Rick, you want to hold down the fort? I'll drive ahead, see what I can bring back." Shane said.

"I'll go with you." T-Dog said.

"Keep your eyes open. We'll be right back." Shane said. They both got in Shane's Jeep and drove off.

"I'm going to go check on Jim." Rick said.

"Okay. We'll be out here with Dale and Glenn." I said. He then walked into the RV and I walked to Glenn. "Look Emma. It's Uncle Glenn." I said.

"Hey there pretty girl." Glenn said.

"You can hold her Glenn." I said.

"Really?" He asked, excited.

"Yes of course." I said, handing her to him.

He bounced her up and down with a smile on his face. Carl then walked up to me and grabbed my hand.

"Mom, is Jim going to die?" He asked.

"There's a chance he will." I said.

"I'm going to miss him." He said.

"We're all going to miss him." I said.

"But is there anything you can do since you were a surgeon?" He asked.

"There's nothing I can do Carl. I wish I could do something to help him." I said.

"I know." He said, hugging me. I hugged him back and he pulled away and sat on the ground near me.

"Look at you Emma. Do you love your Uncle Glenn?" I asked, smiling. She made a little noise with a smile on her face. "She loves you Glenn." I said.

"And I love her." He said, smiling at me.

Shane and T-Dog soon returned from the building ahead. Glenn handed Emma back to me when Rick and Shane went in the RV and carried Jim out and sat him on the ground against a tree. We were all saying goodbye to him.

"Hey Jim, you know it doesn't need to be this." Shane said.

"It's good. The breeze is nice." Jim said.

"Okay. Alright." Shane said.

"Just close your eyes sweetie. Don't fight." Jacqui said, kissing his cheek.

"Do you want this Jim?" Rick asked, showing him the gun.

"No. You'll need it." Jim said.

"Thanks for fighting for us." Dale said.

"Jim, thank you for protecting us. I won't ever be able to repay you. I'll miss you Jim. Emma will too." I said, a tear escaping my left eye.

I leaned forward and kissed his cheek then pulled away and smiled at him. I stood up and walked to Rick. He put his arm around me and rubbed my arm. We all then drove off, looking at Jim through the car windows. Emma fell asleep in my arms during the ride.

We came to a stop and I looked to see that it was the CDC building. I got out of the car and closed the door behind me. It stunk from all the dead bodies on the ground. We ran to the entrance of the building. Rick and Shane started pounding on the door.

"There's nobody here." T-Dog said.

"Then why are these shutters down?" Rick asked.

"Walkers!" Daryl shouted, shooting the walker. "You led us into a graveyard!" He shouted.

"He made a call!" Shane yelled.

"It was the wrong damn call!" Daryl shouted.

"Yelling won't help us!" I shouted, hoping Emma stays quiet.

"Rick, this is a dead end." Shane said.

"Where are we going to go?" Jacqui asked, scared.

"Do you hear me? No blame." Shane said.

"We can't be here. This close to city after dark." Lori said.

"Fort Benning Rick. That's still an option." Shane said.

"On what? We have no food and no fuel. That's a hundred miles." I said.

"125. Just checked." Glenn said.

"Forget Fort Benning. We need answers now." I said.

"We'll think of something." Rick said.

"Come on Rick. Think about your son and daughter. Your daughter is a baby and she's going to cry soon because she's going to get hungry. We have to get out of here." Shane said. "Come on everyone. Back to the cars. Let's go! Move!" He said.

"Wait! The camera moved!" Rick shouted.

"You imagined it." Shane said.

"It moved." Rick said.

"Rick, it's dead. It's an automated device. It's gears, okay? They're winding down. Just come on." Shane said.

Rick started banging on the shutters.

"Rick, there's nobody in there! Come on!" I shouted.

"I know you're in there! Let us in!" Rick shouted.

"Everybody get to the cars now!" Shane shouted.

"Please we're desperate! Please help us! We have woman and children! No food and hardly any gas left!" Rick continued shouting.

"Rick! No one's there!" I shouted, getting more scared.

"We have nowhere else to go! Please help us! You're killing us! You're killing us!" Rick shouted.

Rick was starting to walk away after giving up. The shutters then started opening, the bright light blinding us.