Would It Matter // Rick Grimes

Chapter 23

The incident at the CDC was still on my mind and I was feeling guilty even though I didn't kiss Shane back. I would never cheat on Rick. I feel guilty because I didn't tell him what Shane did because I didn't want to start anything. But I feel like I should tell him and that's what I'm going to do.

I saw Rick at the RV and I walked to him. He looked my way when he heard me walking to him.

"Rick, I need to talk to you. It's important." I said.

"Okay Sydney." He said.

We walked down the dirt road to the fence and I looked out at the trees in the distance.

"What is it?" He asked.

"Something happened at the CDC that I didn't tell you about." I said, not looking at him.

"What happened at the CDC?" He asked, getting closer to me.

I put my head down and felt a tear fall then I looked at him and he saw the tears building up in my eyes.

"When you went to get Carl and Emma, Shane stopped by the room as you saw when you got back. Well, before you got back, he did something." I said.

"What did he do?" He asked, through gritted teeth.

"He pinned me against the door and kissed me. But I didn't kiss him back because I would never cheat on you." I told him.

"Why didn't you tell me before Sydney? Why wait to tell me now?" He asked.

"I didn't want to cause trouble. I wanted to tell you, believe me I did, I was just too scared and shocked to say anything. I know I should've told you but I didn't. I'm sorry I didn't tell you before Rick." I said. "I was scared that Shane would've done something else if you didn't come back when you did." I said, more tears starting to fall.

He didn't say anything just pulled me against him and I wrapped my arms around him and cried into his shoulder while he rubbed my back.

"I'm not mad at you Sydney. You have nothing to be scared of, I'm right here and I'll protect you from anything." He said.

"You're really not mad at me?" I asked.

"Of course not. I would never be mad at you." He said.

I smiled at him and placed my lips against his, kissing him. He pulled me closer to him and deepened the kiss. We then pulled away so we can breathe. We walked back to the house and I went to the porch and sat on the step. Rick left with Shane to do something.

Ricks POV:

I was driving with Shane in the Hyundai until we were at a four-way road a few miles away from the farm. We got out and stood at the intersection.

"Why did we stop Rick?" Shane asked.

"I need to talk to you." I said.

"What about?" He asked.

"Sydney." I said. "I know what you did when we were at the CDC." I told him.

"I don't know what you're talking about Rick." He said.

"Don't act dumb Shane. I know you pinned her against the door and kissed her. She told me and broke down into tears." I said, trying not to shout.

He didn't say anything just looked down.

"What the hell is wrong with you? Why are you trying to steal Sydney from me?" I asked.

"I love Sydney, Rick." He said.

"You think you love her but you don't. You're just mad that you can't have her. She's with me, not you. That's something you need to realize. She's not going to leave me for you because she loves me. And it hurts me to see her crying. And it angers me to know that you're the reason she was." I said. "Don't you ever touch my wife. My daughter. And my son." I said. "Tell me what you were going to do if I didn't return to that room. And don't you dare lie to me." I said.

"I wanted her. I still do. You don't deserve her Rick. You can't keep the three of them alive but I can." He said.

"I'll stay alive to keep them alive. You can't have her Shane. You can't force her to love you when she loves me. When she told me what you did, I wanted to break your jaw. I'm holding myself back from doing that." I said.

We then got back in the car and headed back to the farm.

Sydney's POV:

"Sydney, have you seen my dad?" Maggie asked.

"No I haven't. Why?" I asked.

"I can't find him anywhere and something is wrong with Beth." She said.

"I'll take a look at her." I said. "Glenn, can you watch Emma for me?" I asked.

"Of course I will." He said, getting Emma from me.

We walked inside and Maggie took me to Beths room. I went inside after telling Maggie to stay outside. I walked to Beth and sat down.

"Beth." I said.

She didn't respond just stared at the ceiling. I stood up and walked out of the room and turned to Maggie who was sitting in a chair next to Beths room.

"What's wrong with her?" Maggie asked.

"Has she been acting differently? Like any change in her behavior?" I asked.

"Yeah. She's been sad every since Shane opened the barn. She hasn't left her room and she's always staring at something and she doesn't talk like she used to." She told me.

"What else?" I asked.

"She refuses to eat the food we make her." She said.

"Okay. It sounds like she's in a catatonic shock. I don't have the things I need to treat it." I said.

"How long does it last?" She asked.

"It depends. But it can last for hours, days, weeks even years." I said. "But check in on her every hour and tell me if anything changes." I said.

"Okay." She said.

We then walked downstairs and I went outside while Maggie went in the kitchen. Rick and Shane came back but then Rick left again with Glenn to find Hershel because we're all worried about him. I was carrying Emma around until she got tired and fell asleep.