Generations Expectation's | 8th member of BTS

35

| Korean Words meaning |

Still none, lol.

Anything in regular font = Korean

Anything in Italics = English

Anything in Bold = Spanish

Anything in Bold & Italics = Any other language besides Spanish, Korean, or English

*Was December 24th, Now March 18th *

It had almost been a year since BTS's debut. Three albums under our belt, '2 Cool 4 Skool',  'O!RUL8,2?', and 'Skool Luv Affair', and still no fame to show for it. Endless work, recordings, practices, and interviews that didn't make any headlines, all while balancing school and low-paying part-time jobs just to make living bearable.

2012 Ae Cha would have never excepted being a struggling idol, ignored and deflated by the industry. Even with the glow of my Mother's fame, we were barely afloat. Our group was barely hemorrhaging sales from our albums and it showed with our lessening staff and funding for MVs compared to our first one. BigHit really thought we were going to be a hit, but after some time it did not as they expected yet the company; for whatever reason had faith in us that we would take off eventually and kept pressing for future albums. They had better faith than half the members who had become discouraged and lethargic. Dancing, singing, smiling through heavy makeup and over-exaggerated clothes- we did it all while under the surface we all felt a bit defeated. Life continued as the norm, it was a bit depressing, to say the least, but we stayed hopeful and hard at work, even if most of us didn't believe the words we said.

Our fame, while nowhere near that of Minecraft YouTubers, made our daily lives nice and almost relaxing. We worked diligently, attended school sporadically, and homeschooled together when necessary. We shared meals, laughter, and venting sessions. Despite the demands of our schedules, we still had each other.
After the Christmas holiday, to the astonishment of all the boys, they returned to the dorm to find Jimin and me as close as ever, best friends again. They didn't inquire about explanations or reasons, they were just relieved that our feud had ended. None of the boys knew the intricate details of what had transpired, but it was better that everything had been resolved without the need for explanations. Jimin and I knew the full story, and we were content with it being in the past.

One thing remained, though: Jimin was aware of my feelings for Jungkook.

Apart from that one day when we had our major argument, we never spoke about my feelings for Jungkook again. We both understood the situation, but it was a relief to me that Jimin chose not to bring it up or discuss it. Life had become somewhat predictable and routine, and surprisingly, I didn't mind it.

Kyong still hasn't talked to me since that day so long ago, dread followed me around for the longest time but after many passing, seeing her and her members ' faces plastered around HQ and everywhere else in Seoul as they skyrocketed to the top charts my dread led to bitterness till it simmered into a blank blob of uncaring. It was sad, I had lost a good friend but I now came to the point in my life where I couldn't keep waking up and worrying about someone who clearly didnt care about me anymore.

Bongseon is still somehow still in my life, sadly, even more as our staffing cutbacks continue. She insists on staying even with her pay cut. I never reported what happened to me with Bongseon that day on Christmas Eve. When she showed up at my place, chilling me to my bones with an unnatural and creepy personality bursting out of her skin, crawling to be seen. At this point, it was too late to do anything about it. I also still haven't had enough proof or evidence of her doing anything wrong besides my feelings of discomfort and something not right whenever I was around her or when she texted me. There was nothing proving Bongseon to be a creep but to me, Christmas Eve was all the foundation I needed to make my own deciding factor that I didnt trust Bongseon. That being said, I never told any of the boys this. The only one who knew was Jimin and that's only because he came to my rescue seeing her exterior cracking in front of him, himself. I wanted to handle this situation myself and to be honest, my way of handling it was not handling it all. I thought if I let everything simmer down and be endurable and passive, things would fade into nonexistence and in fact, that's the approach that has been working for me so far. Bongseon seemed she had put her mask back on, friendly and serviceable to us when we were around. Acting as if nothing ever happened with her charming smiles, helpful styling tips, and gentle hands.
She kept her distance from me but was still within reach. She still texted me but compared to before her text seemed radio silent. Her conversations with me were short, and polite, and every so often if we were both in good moods I would allow myself to listen to her low conversations of memories from the past not only involving my mother but her old group, the way BigHit ran, etc. It was tolerable, we were at a standstill where we both slipped- me making my uneasiness I felt for her clear and her real self slipping through the cracks to me. We were like robots when together; it was for the best.
It made hiding my fear and uncomfortable self easier but I swore, at times, when she thought I couldn't see her, I could see that monster- the ghastly sight of a twisted woman in the corner of my eyes. Staring at me.