Invisible Crown

Chapter Twenty One

"Wait why did he just hang up like that?" I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion. "At least tell her his true feelings or something, who's even hang up the phone like that?"

"Maybe he's overwhelmed and didn't know what to say?" Mikayla sat next to me, a bowl of popcorn on her lap. Well after what happened in the kitchen, we decided to go watch a movie to get over the mood. We were watching the new season of Sex Education and honest opinion, I love it but some scenes are like ugh.

— can't spoil for people hasn't watched it yet. if you know the scene i'm talking about. then you know. ;)

"He hurts my favorite character." I said sadly and shoved some popcorn into my mouth.

"She's a badass, she'll be fine." Mikayla chuckled. "Do you want to watch another episode? I can get us more popcorn."

I shook my head. "I'm good. This heart can't take anymore drama today."

"Okay, whatever you wish." She smiled and fixed herself up so she sat facing me. I smiled back and facing her too. "I never got to ask you this, it has been in the back of my mind for a while now but I always forgot about it."

"What is it?" I grabbed a cushion and hugged it.

"Do you remember the night when we first met, the night that my dad announced I'd be working in the company?"

I giggled. "What kind of question is that? Of course I remember."

Mikayla rolled her eyes and smiled to herself. "Right. Well that night after we officially met each other, I had a chance to speak with you but not for very long."

I nodded, motioned for her to continue speaking.

"Your fiancé interrupted us and I went talking to other guests but then...." She furrowed her eyebrows while I sat in silent. "I saw you leaving and it seemed like you were angry about something which was a shame because I would like you to stay a bit longer." She chuckled. "Anyway, so can you tell me what happened that night? If you don't mind me asking of course."

I pursed my lips together and Mikayla was staring at me intently. "There was nothing much, Chris was being a jerk all night long and I couldn't take it anymore." I shrugged my shoulders.

Mikayla nodded not saying anything and I sighed. "He thought there was something going on between us."

Her eyebrows perched up and her head tilted to the side. "He knew that that was the first time we met and we only talked to each other for five minutes right?" Mikayla chuckled dryly.

"That's how he is." I shrugged and brushed it off. "You don't need to worry about him, he....he can be little possessive at times."

"Allie he never hurts you right?" She touched my arm and I could feel the worries appeared on her face.

Depend on what's your definition of hurt, I thought to myself. "No he never laid a hand on me, if that's what you're worrying about." I said vaguely.

"That's good but I'm also talking about emotional aspect, there are many ways to hurt somebody and it's not just physically as you already know." She said softly.

I took a deep breath and looked away, I was contemplating whether I should tell her or not. Of course Chris hurts me, many times but does she need to know about that?

"Well marriage is not easy and it has its up and down moments. The same goes for engagement I guess." I smiled weakly at her.

Mikayla sighed and squeezed my hand, bringing it close to her lips. She put my hand on her cheek and closed her eyes. "I thought I already let you know that you don't need to put on a mask in front of me." She said quietly. "It's okay to let people in Alia, it's okay to be vulnerable and it's okay to show people your flaws and scars. You've been fighting the battle on your own long enough, it's time to let someone help you fight it too."

She opened her eyes to let me see the ocean blue orbs and I almost drowned in them. But in those eyes, I saw something else. It was her, she was showing me herself and she was letting me in. I don't know whether to call her stupid or brave for doing so because I know for a fact that I can hurt someone very deeply if I want to. But I don't wanna hurt her.

"Sometimes I wonder who were you before they broke your heart." She put on a smile that didn't reach her eyes.

"Why are you doing this?" I whispered. "Why did you gave yourself out to me while I keep hiding myself from you. I could hurt you, why risking yourself?"

"Because darling...." She put my hand down and cupped my cheek with her hand, bringing me close. "You make me feel alive again and for you, I would risk it all."

Our faces were inches apart and I leaned forward, our foreheads touching, I closed my eyes and sighed. My mind was racing and million thoughts and doubts filled my mind and they screamed for me to stop whatever was happening, that this was wrong and I should get up and leave. But I didn't want to think, for once I just wanted to feel, I wanted to feel that feeling again and I wanted to let my heart take over. So I pulled back slightly and opened my eyes to see her do the same and smiled warmly at me.

"I want to kiss you Alia, please." She whispered near my lips and her thumb still stroking my cheek softly. Her eyes were begging me and I nodded. She smiled and leaned forward, waiting me to meet her halfway. All doubts and fear faded away and I met her kiss. The moment our lips touched, something in me sparkled and filled the void inside me. I felt completed and she was the reason. I put my hands on her neck and bringing her closer, her other hand found my hips and I straddled her lap. We shared a deep and meaningful kiss, it wasn't rushed though. It was gentle, as if we wanted this moment to never end. Her lips on mine is so soft and I can't get enough of her taste, I wanted more. So when her tongue ran across my bottom lip asking for permission, I gladly gave it to her. I opened my mouth and let our tongues danced together, I love her taste on mine and when she deepened the kiss, I accidentally let out a moan. Her hand held my hips firmer and when the need for air became too much, we parted away.

We both panted heavily and she looked into my eyes, there's something so beautiful about eye contact, it makes me nervous but I love it. My hands are still around her neck and I touched her lips, it was swollen but her taste was delicious so I leaned forward and we shared another kiss. It was a short one because I pulled away, I felt weird because for the first time, I didn't feel like this is wrong instead this couldn't be more right. I felt right being with her, I felt right kissing her and I felt right about whatever this is between me and her.

"I can hear your thoughts running in your head." Mikayla spoke, her hand still holding my hips.

I looked at her and smiled. "It wasn't bad thoughts." She smiled and tucked a strand of my hair behind my ear. "I don't know what to do anymore Mikayla, I don't want to think about anything anymore. I'm tired, I'm exhausted." My voice cracked and a sob broke through. I know this day would happen, I know it's just a matter of time before I couldn't take it anymore and broke down or explode. Mikayla was right, I've been fighting by myself and bottled everything inside for too long, eventually the glass would be filled and it would overflowed.

I buried my face into her chest and I cried. I've been hiding my tears in front of people for years, I didn't want them to see my weakness, my vulnerable side in fear they would take that as an advantage and use it against me. It's been years since I could cry and pour my everything out on someone's shoulders,  I've never felt safer than in this moment, when I was clinging for her and wet her shirt while she held me close in her arms, whispered soothing words in my ears.

—
A/N: well this is one emotional roller coaster.