safe haven │ larry stylinson

80

Harry's POV

"I can hear absolutely nothing. And the light is too bright, I don't see a thing. Is there anything we can do about that? Please?" Harry complained friendly. Sweat was dripping off his face and he wiped it off.
"I can't hear anything so, I just hope you can do that" The light changed and he gave the man at the desk in the back a thumbs-up. "Way better, thank you"
Patiently he waited until he could hear something over his earpiece. For a while nothing happened until it cracked loudly and he flinched.
"Ouch.."
"Better now? Can you hear me?" A voice asked and he nodded.
"Perfectly fine. Thank you. From the beginning again?"

The drums started when Harry gave another tumbs-up as soon as he reached his starting point behind the stage.
"Hey! in 3...2...1-" The voice in his ears announched.
"Hey!" He jumped onto the stage and started moving as the beat dropped, the background singers joined in and they did the whole thing again. And again. Until everyone was happy with the outcome.
"Perfect, Harry!" Jane grinned at him from her seat in the first row. "Are you happy with everything?"
"Yeah. I just can't figure out the spin. I always lose balance" He exhaled and sat down on the edge of the stage. She gave him a bottle of water and he started drinking.
"You won't get it now. You're too uptight to get it right right now. But you did it perfectly in training. Don't worry. Everything will work out later" She assured him and he frowned.
"I want to get it right now. I have to-"
"No you don't" One of the background dancers looked at him. "Jane's right, Harry. You did a great job. Everything will work out. But if you're too tense about it now, you'll have it in your head all the time"
He patted his shoulder and Harry grinned at him. "You just don't wanna go through the whole thing again, do you?"
"You caught me" Christopher shrugged and laughed. "Seriously, Styles. Don't worry about it. You did enough for now. Take the rest of the day off. We'll see you later"

He was right. They always were. If he was too tense, too uptight, he would worry too much. It would work out. And if he didn't, well if it didn't, he wouldn't cry about it. Most important was that he enjoyed every second on stage. And he already did that.
"You heard the man. Thank you guys. I can't thank you enough. See you tonight. Behave and rest" He turned and looked at the lot of dancers who chuckled and smiled at him before leaving the stage.
Harry leaned back and exhaled. "You should rest as well, Harry. Don't worry so much" Jane patted his back and left the stage as well.
Harry looked at the stage and at all the seats. He already knew that they would be sitting in the front row on the left - all five of them and Simon. All those black seats would be filled with lots of people tonight. And he couldn't allow himself to make a mistake later.
His eyes stopped at the seat with Louis' name on it. His boyfriend would be seated right next to him which was great at first but knowing that every touch, every look would be seen. They couldn't allow to make a mistake either. Tonight had to be perfect. Harry was supposed to be perfect. Or everyone would know.

When he entered his changing room for the night, Harry forced himself to stop thinking about what could go wrong. What if everything worked out better than he even imagined? What if he took home a Grammy? The thought alone put a smile on his face. He knew he should stop worrying.
For the first time today, he allowed his body to calm down as he sat down and took out his phone. Jeff hadn't sent a massage so he was probably still talking to Louis. Harry exhaled and dialled the number of his mother. Within a few seconds she picked up.
"Someone finally has time to talk to his mother" Anne picked up and Harry chuckled.
"I'm sorry, Mum. I was so busy and when I wasn't busy with rehearsals I was so tired. I'm really sorry"
"I'm used to it, sweetheart. Don't worry. How are you doing besides that?" He could hear one of the cats purring and smiled.
"I'm fine. It's exhausting but I love it"
"Make sure you get enough sleep. And drink enough!" She ordered and he nodded, knowing that she couldn't see him.
"Promise, Mum. Will you get up to watch it?'
"Am I your mother? Of course I will. The girls are staying over for the night and we'll watch you"
"Of course. Greet them" Harry smiled.
"I will. They already bet that you'll win a Grammy" She laughed and he sighed.

"What's wrong, Harry?"
"I'm just.. anxious about tonight. I don't care about winning. But- Lou and I are seated right next to each other. If we do one wrong move everyone will know- we can't let that happen, Mum.." He confessed and ran his fingers through his hair.
"Oh darling.." His mother sighed. "You worry to much. You got that from your father. Don't be tense about something you can't control until it's there. Everything will be fine"
"You're right and I know that.. But what if something goes wrong?"
"You'll deal with that when it's there. Now let it be. How is my soon to be son-in-law?"
Harry had to laugh about that. "He's fine. We had a nice evening yesterday. He ordered dinner in his room"
"Didn't know that Louis could be romantic" Anne chuckled and Harry smiled.
"He can. If he wants to"
"He's a good one, Harry" He could hear his mother's smile through the phone.
"Yes, he is" He smiled as well.
"I'm so happy that the both of you found each other again. I can't say that enough. I knew from the first time I saw you together as a couple that you're perfect for each other"
"Oh Mum, stop. You're gonna make me emotional" He could hear her laughing lightly and smiled. "Oh, just that I don't forget, Taylor said Hi"
"Oh she did? How is she doing?"
And so they talked on and on until someone knocked at the door.
"Mum, I gotta go. I'll call you after the show, okay?"
"I want a picture of your outfit! If I don't get one before everyone else does, we'll have a problem!" She exclaimed.
"I'll send you one. I promise"
"I hope so" His mother laughed. "Sending you kisses. Good luck. Even though you don't need it. I love you. And I'm proud of you"
"I love you too, Mum. Take care" With that he ended the call and looked at the door.

"Come in"
Jeff came through the door and Harry looked at him. "Are you done talking to Louis already?"
"Yes. It went well, he'll tell you about it later. Now we've got to go"
Harry frowned. "Where are we going? I really can't eat something right now, too nervous already.."
Jeff gave him a jacket and he took it. "Harry you rehearsed way longer than you wanted to. We've only got one hour before you need to be at the hotel to prep you for tonight. So we head there. And you have to eat something"
While Jeff had talked, Harry had put on the jacket. "Let's go then"

When they left the STAPLES Center, the screams were louder than everything else. A few lights flashed and cameras clicked, but mostly fans screamed his name. Harry waved at the mass of them and smiled before heading over to take a few pictures and sign things. He just couldn't hold himself back.
"I love you, Harry! Oh my god!"
"Love you too, dear" He gave her a smile while she looked like she nearly fainted and took a picture with her. And the fan next to her. And the one next. He was patient, smiled at everyone and answered their questions.
"Harry? Are you single?"
"I'm happy" He simply smiled and signed her phone.
"Can you sign my wrist, Harry? I'd like to get it tattooed please" A girl smiled at him shyly with tears streaming down her face and he nodded.
"Of course" He enclosed her wrist and was about to sign her skin when he noticed the scars. Without letting people around them see, his thumb gently stroke over them. He signed her wrist and pulled her into a hug.
"Keep fighting. It's worth it. Promise?"
He could hear her sob. "I promise. You are the reason why me and so many other people are alive. We fight because you do. You promise too?"
He nodded and squeezed her hand before continuing, her words still in his head.
Some fans pulled at his shirt and he took a picture with them. He listened to their stories and hugged them. Security wouldn't let him alone.
"Harry, this is getting more and more. And I don't want to hold you back but we don't have much time. We need to go"

He nodded and followed Jeff and security to the car. He wished he could talk to evey fan, thank them for their support. But that wasn't possible anymore, it was too much. The fans got out of hand too easily, within minutes an empty place would be filled with people just because one of them tweeted that he was there.
They loved him and he was beyond grateful but sometimes it was too much. When they overstepped boundaries and invaded his privacy, it was enough. He would never yell at one of them, even though they hadn't respected his boundaries but at the same time he wished for a normal life at those points.

When he was shooting a movie and fans wouldn't leave him alone. Or when he was enjoying time with his family. He just wished he could have a normal life sometimes. A normal life would make a life with Louis by his side so much easier. By now they could be married, have settled down. It was a fantasy he thought about sometimes. Would they have kids? Would it be enough? Would they still have that deep understanding for each other? He was sure of it. Louis was his best friend in every way and he was sure that that wouldn't change, no matter where they were or what they did. Some days, Harry wished for this normal life as a baker or father. But not today. Today was the day of the Grammy's.