confusifying | wicked | book 3/3

Elphie

The lounge is peaceful for a while, Fiyero's cooking in the kitchen, Glinda and Albert and gleefully discussing their day.
And I'm sat doing absolutely nothing and I couldn't care less, well that's a bit of a lie, there's quite a few things I'd rather be doing.
Helping Fiyero cook, though he's insisted he needs no help or holding Glindas hand whilst she talks about her day giving speeches in the town square.
Suddenly the door to the lounge slides open.

There he is, Albert said I was being irrational but I'm angry.
Nessarose asked Boc to go and see her and not me.
Something must be wrong that she didn't want to tell me.
And I'm taking it all out on Boc.
I don't care, not right now.
Fiyeros told me to try and relax and that it's probably nothing.
Even Glindas not on my side.
Boc marches upstairs and I follow closely behind.
"I don't see why your getting angry with me!" Boc cries, stepping around me and putting some clothes into a rough leather bag.
Some of them are Nessas and some are his.
"Because you could have at least told about it before you started to leave." I shout forcefully back.

Boc ignores my fit of rage and continues to pack.
"Nessa said not to tell you." He replies calmly, trying not to loose his cool.
I tuck my hair hastily behind my ears, it's just so long and thick, that it always ends up getting in the way.
"Boc please just let me come!" I beg pathetically "she's my sister."
Boc growls under his breath.
"Elphaba your acting like a child."
Those words send me into a rage, I bellow at the top of my lungs.
"Why would she even ask you? You broke her heart!"
Boc drops his bag onto the bed and glares at me, I instantly regret my words.
I know I shouldn't have said anything.
I know it wasn't my place.

Bocs eyes pierce straight through me.
"Well maybe if you didn't baby Nessarose so much she wouldn't feel the need to hide things from you!" Boc barks in return.
I feel myself start to cry but I don't want to show that I'm shamed.
"You know she hates it, but you do it anyway." Boc continues hatefully, I know I deserve it but I don't want to hear it "I know you enjoy feeling like your helping her but your not, all your doing is making her scared to reach out for help in case you drown her in all your persistence."
"Boc I'm sorry..."I mumble, but he's far from done.
"Maybe if you weren't so controlling none of this would have ever happened in the first place, maybe Nessa would have never felt lonely enough to cast that spell on me and maybe she would have never died."
Boc stops go catch his breath, his words pile on top of me like bricks and I feel the weight of every one of them.
Maybe it is all my fault.
"And one last thing." Boc says, pushing me aside as he makes his way towards the door "Nessa has a cold, a smile cold that she was too scared to tell you about. Think about that."

And with that he leaves, I stay up in the spare room until distinctively heat the front door close and everyone say the goodbyes to Boc.
Then I venture back downstairs.
Everyone looks at me weirdly, Fiyero steps out and I throw myself into his arms, sobbing uncontrollably.
"That was quite the row." Fiyero says chuckling emptily.
"Elphie?" Glindas voice echos "what's happening with Boc?"
I gently remove my face from being pressed firmly against Fiyeros chest.
I look towards Albert and Glinda.
"Nessa has a cold and she didn't tell me because I'm so overbearing and overwhelming for her."
I start to sob again.
"I'm a terrible sister!" I wail.

Glinda jumps up and wraps her arms tightly around me.
"How do you know she meant it like that?" Glinda says sweetly "she could have just not wanted to trouble you."
I shake my head, my chin tickled by Glindas blond locks.
"What if this is it, what if Nessa never talks to me again."
Glinda suddenly starts to laugh, I pull myself away from her and scowl.
"I don't get what's so funny." I grumble.
"Elphaba your being silly, Nessa loves you with her whole being, but she just wants to be her own person, you said it yourself that Frexpar never allowed her to do that so now she's becoming an adult and trying new things."
I nod, though still unconvinced.

I know it makes me sound awful, I know I am overbearing but I regret encouraging Nessa to take over shiz, I miss her too much.
It's horrible.
And when mother and Boc come back she's going to be all alone again.
I know how much she hates getting colds and how horrible they make her feel.
I just hope she's okay.
Her colds have never gotten too serious.
Though they're not even colds, it's more of an noncontagious flu, we just call it a cold because Nessa doesn't like to make a big deal about it.
I'm always the one who makes a big deal out of everything.
I mean I'm green for heavens sake, everything I do becomes a big deal.

Nessa could have spent her whole life rather undetected if she chose but I made a spectacle of everything.
I feel awful about it, I just want to go and see Nessa.
Her pupils come back tomorrow, I just hope everything is okay.
"Elphie." Glindas voice shakes me from my thoughts "your not a bad sister, I truly hope you know that."
I nod my head nonchalantly, not completely listening.

Suddenly I feel two hands grab me tightly I turn around to see Fiyero there again.
He smiles softly, I fall into his kind eyes.
"It's all going to be alright, Boc will come around and at the next school break I'm sure Nessa will come and stay here."
I hope.