confusifying | wicked | book 3/3

Elphie

Glinda Hugs me tightly, I drop to the floor and cower there, ashamed of what I've done.
"I can't tell Fiyero!" I cry "how do I tell my mother, or albert?"
Glinda holds me up by my shoulders,
"Oh Elphaba," Glinda sighs "why did you do it?"
I shrug my shoulders and begin to cry again.
"I don't know! I shouldn't have done anything." I splutter "I wanted to take everything out on him but..."
Glinda looks puzzled,
"But what?"
I don't want to say what Frex told me, but I fear I have to.

"He said Nessa was unwell, that she was sick in her head, He said a person plagued with sadness and longing becomes sick."
I start to cry again, Glinda clings tightly to me.
"What if she never speaks to me again!" I cry "it's the holidays soon, I wanted her to come here but she'll never look me in the eyes again."
I feel Glindas hands cling tightly too me, the thick, purple dress bunching up around the floor.
"Why do I keep doing this?" I question hesitantly "I keep trying to make things better but I just make things worse."
Glinda doesn't say anything, instead she just holds me gently, her head leaned daintily on my shoulder.

"He loved her so much and I made him feel awful about it, he did what he thought was best."
"He was cruel to you, Elphaba" Glinda says reassuringly.
I chuckle emptily.
"Frex is right, Nessa becomes an obsession, it's so easy to want to make everything better for her."
"Elphaba," Glinda says calmly "you haven't had it easy either, don't forget that."

Glinda pauses for a while, then she takes a deep breath.
"Don't get angry at me," She says slowly.
I move away from her slowly, Glinda jolts and quickly takes her head off of my shoulder, we both look at each other and she avoids eye contact.
"Boc didn't go to stay with Nessa to get away from you."
I look at her suspiciously, not understanding what she's saying.
"Boc loves your sister."
The words hit me like a brick, and I'm not even the one they're about.
How dare he fall for her, he broke her heart and left her to die.
And now he's grown to love her.
It's so cruel, he led her on and lied to my sister.
"Elphie, please say something." Glinda says uneasily.
"I... I don't know what." I mumble. "I feel like I should speak to Nessa."

Glinda looks at me, like I've gone insane.
"She won't talk to you." Glinda says bluntly.
She's right, but I've never felt this terrible about anything.
I've done some horrible things by accident before but this tops the cake.
"Well then I'll call her!" I announce triumphantly.
Glinda nods but rolls her eyes, she stands up and walks elegantly towards the other side of the room.
A few moments later, she walks back, the phone in hand.
Carefully, she places the phone in my hands and sits beside me.
I dial the number in, Glinda stares at me hopefully.
It rings for a few seconds, before the unmistakable voice of my sister calls out through the phone.
"Shiz University, Madam Thropp, how may I help you?" Her voice sounds shaky and distant, I'm scared to speak.
"Ness." I croak quietly, barley making a sound.

Glinda stares at me, her eyes open wide, she gestures with her hands for me to carry on talking, but I can't.
"Hello?" Nessa asks shakily.
Glinda huffs and all of a sudden, she taken the phone off of me.
"Nessarose?" Glinda asks, unusually cheerfully.
"G...Glinda!" Nessa exclaims tearfully, "is everything alright?"
Glinda offers the phone back to me but I shake my head dramatically.
"Yes I'm fine," Glinda says, scowling at me "I just called to check on you, are you okay?"
There's a sniffling sound from the other end of the phone, I can recognise Nessas crying from a mile away, it hasn't changed since she was a little girl.
Deep panics breaths followed by sharp painful whimpers.
"I don't know." Nessa mumbles "that was my Father, I'm supposed to hate him, that's what brought Elphie and I closer but I..." She stops, there's a loud thud, followed by a horrifically sad scream, then loud, long, distant sobs.

Glinda and I just sit there listening to Nessas tears, until there's a strange sound from the other side of the phone.
Glinda stares at me and shrugs.
"Poor Nessa," she mouths tearfully.
"Glinda?" A new voice calls through the phone, it's Bocs.
"Oh Boc," Glinda cries "Is everything alright?"
I can still hear Nessas sobs from the end of the phone, but they sound even further away.
"Yes, it's okay, Nessa just dropped the phone, I don't think she's up for a phone call right now."
Glinda nods, though I'm unsure as to why since Boc has no way of seeing it.
"As long as your okay," Glinda says uneasily.

Boc ends the phone call, Glinda puts the phone down and I burst into tears.
She clutches onto me again and I hold onto her tightly.
"What have I done!" I cry, Glinda squeezes me tighter.
"What's done is done, you can't blame yourself now, you just have to hope"
I don't want to hope for it to go back to normal, I just want her to forgive me, I want to see my sister.
"I shouldn't have done it!"
"Well there's nothing you can do about it now, she's clearly not ready to talk and that's ok."
I wait for a moment debating to say what I'm thinking.
"She's talking To Boc!" I cry,
"That's different, I know you don't want Boc to get close to her again, I know more than anyone how much he hurt her but if he truly loves her this could be what she's been missing, a different type of love that you can have for her."
I hope she's right.