confusifying | wicked | book 3/3

Elphie

I sit resting my head on my husbands shoulder, he holds my hand gently.
"She's fine," Fiyero promises "I'm sure she is."
I nod but still remain unsure, I have this strange feeling as if she isn't okay and I can't seem to shake it.
"But what if"
"She's tougher than we give her credit for," Fiyero murmurs "you know that."
Do I?
I'm not sure, I know my sister isn't a child and I know she's perfectly capable of being alone for a few hours, but there's things that she simply can't do like get in and out of bed by herself and that means that she can't be completely independent.
It scares me, it always has scared me but I just don't know how to vocalise it without my sister becoming enraged with me.
In the kindness way possible, Mother is right.
Nessa isn't okay and she never was to begin with, there's always been something not quite right.
I wasn't given anything as a child but I still remained fairly pieced together, I realised very quickly that people hated me because they didn't know any better, not because I'd consciously done something but Nessa had everything that could be given to her and she always seemed fairly miserable.
Not all the time, she could laugh and smile and sing just as well as anyone else, but when the activists ended or when it was just the two of us, she'd sigh and stop smiling, she'd drop the happiness for a while and it always perplexed me.

After a few minutes, Glinda emerges from the hallway, she sighs deeply and glides over to the centre of the room.
"Elphaba, what's up with your parents?" Glinda cries.
I raise an eyebrow.
"Alberts sulking upstairs and your mothers doing the same but upstairs, I thought they were inseparable!"
I sigh deeply and compose myself before I burst onto tears.
"They had a fight but they should be fine soon."
Glinda shrugs.
"Any word from your sister?"
"Haven't had any contact." I reply sadly. Glinda nods as if she understands but she doesn't, none of us do.
Suddenly, without warning the front door slams, I hear a stampede of footsteps as Boc rushes into the lounge looking terribly pale.
Albert and my mother follow him closely behind.

Once he's in the centre of the room, Boc collapses to his knees and begins to sob.
Mother sits down beside him and places a hand on his shoulder.
"Boc?" She queries.
Boc trembles as he cries.
I shake myself free from my husbands loving grip and sit beside Boc on the floor.
"What's wrong? Where's nessarose?" I ask shakily.
Boc suddenly shoots an arm out towards me, causing me to jump terribly.
"She's pushes me out again!" Boc cries "I keep trying to help her but she's so desperate to act as though nothings wrong."
I nod my head, trying not to make Boc any more stressed than he already is but mother isn't playing around.
She tugs aggressively on Bocs shoulder until he looks at her with the same terrified expression that he gave me just mere moments before.
"Where's my daughter?" Mother exclaims.
"At shiz, all alone. I can't believe I left her all alone." Boc continues to shake, I can tell he's not alright.
I hold his arm carefully and help lead him over to the nearest sofa, he sits down and holds tightly onto a pillow, something I've seen my sister so many times before.

"How could I be so stupid, I've abandoned her Elphaba." Boc sobs, I shake my head.
"No, no" I protest "you've not done anything of the sort, it's what she wanted, you have to step back sometimes"
Boc nods and slowly he starts to breath at a regular pace.
Albert whispers something unintelligible to Glinda that confuses me greatly, mother starts to pace dramatically around the lounge, wringing her hands.
She keeps muttering apology's, probably to Nessarose.
Albert takes hold of her shoulders and stops her from running rampant, he pulls her in tightly.
"Melena stop it, you have to stay composed for your daughter." He whispers to her, mother nods and tries to calm down similarly to Boc, she does so with far more speed.
Boc turns to me and mutters,
"Elphaba as much as I know that you want to go to your sister and make it all better, I think your mother should go and try to make emends"
I nod slowly, watching my mother closely as she silently panics.
"If our mother doesn't come back within three days to say that everything's fine then I'm going whether you think I should or not."
Boc closes his eyes.
"Very well Elphaba." He responds hesitantly.

I take a deep breath hoping that my sister is alright on her own, it pains me to know that I can't go over and see if she's okay myself and that I'm going to have to trust my mothers care, something that I'm not sure I can do.
"Elphaba," my husbands voice catches me off guard slightly, "are you alright."
"Fine." I whisper "mother, you need to pull yourself together."
My mother wipes her eyes and stares at me sorrowfully.
"Sorry dear," she sniffs, I watch as mother shoves Alberts arms off of her.
"Mother, your going to go and visit Nessa and check if she's okay"
Mother nods hurriedly.
"If everything is okay then you are to stay for three days then come back home, if your not back by then, I'm coming to sort things out." I say sternly, once again mother nods frantically.
"My baby" she mutters, still seeming rather detached from the rest of the room.
"Mother, are you alright to go?"
"Of course I can." She responds diligently, Glinda grins.
"Perfect then!" She cries "everything's settled wonderfully, I can take you to Shiz myself"
Mother steps towards Glinda, I stand up and catch her arm.
"Be smart mother." I whisper "Don't day anything stupid."
Mother nods.
But I hope she's listened.