confusifying | wicked | book 3/3

Elphie

I rushed back into Nessas room with her cradled in my arms, placed her carefully upon her bed and listened to my mother cry.
Mother must be so scared, I mean we all are, but she's been out of the loop for the longest time.
It must be so terrifying to come back from the dead, twenty years later, and find out that one of your daughters is gravely unwell.
I don't know what I'm doing anymore, Nessa just never seems to be okay anymore and I've ran out of ways to help.
I'm not as powerful as I thought I was and it's upsetting to say the least.

"Poor little chick." Marigold whispers to my sister, my mother looks at her with distain.
I think mother has garnered a dislike for Marigold too, though I see now that she was undeserving of my anger.
"Whats the matter with her?" Boc asks shakily, I observe Glinda putting her arm around him gently.
Nessas eyes are shut but she's still conscious but very unalert.
"Marigold," I mumble, the old lady turns her face towards me.
"Yes dear?" She questions wearily.
I clear my throat, hoping that my words don't come out all muddled and wrong.
"Is Nessa okay?"

Marigold places a hand on my sisters neck In order to locate a pulse and closes her eyes and seems to slow her own breathing, much like Nessarose.
"There's a very faint, little beating" marigold replies, "it's like something wont let her go.
The little pulse is me, my gift.
When I brought her back to life without a spell, it stayed inside of her, causing her such grief, but now, it's fighting to keep her alive.
I wonder if Nessa can tell that it's my gift that's keeping her alive, and I wonder if she hates me for it.
"Should we be calling her a doctor?" My mother whispers tearfully.
Marigold turns away from Nessa to face her and ponders for a few minutes.
I feel it's a good idea to call a doctor but I know that Nessa would hate me for it, even if it wasn't my decision.
"I think it's best not to." Marigold decides "Miss Nessarose and Doctor Tip ended on quite bad terms so it may not be wise."
Mother agrees hesitantly and Boc and I share worried glances.
Carefully, marigold rests a hand on Nessaroses chest and observes it moving up and down.
"Try to sleep if you can, chick ." Marigold whispers calmly.
After a few minutes, marigold gets up and walks towards me, she signs deeply.
"Would you like some time with your sister?" Marigold asks graciously.
I nod without hesitation and marigold leads everyone out of the room, mother tries to protest but soon succumbs to leaving as to not start an argument.

Slowly I go and sit before my sister.
"Oh nessarose." I sob, "please, please speak to me."
I watch as my sister gradually opens her eyes, she stares up at me.
"Elph-" she croaks, her voice fading away.
I stifle my tears and lay my head upon her shoulder momentarily.
"Elpha-" Nessa whispers again.
I nod my head excitedly as tears stream down my face.
Theres a large period of silence, as Nessa closes her eyes again and breathes heavily before opening them once more to begin speaking yet again.
"Elphaba!" My sister gasps at last, "Elphaba I can't do this."
I clutch my sisters hand as she begins to sob to herself, she looks so terribly pale caged by my spindly green fingers.
"This will pass." I whisper, without really knowing if I'm being truthful. "Be strong, it will go away."
Nessarose shakes her head slowly and closes her eyes again.
"You're a fool if you think it ever goes away." My sister snaps, suddenly breathing sharply "this isn't the life I'm owed, this is the life I was thrust into."

She's riddled me with guilt without even trying to.
I hate it.
She has an iron hold on me and everything that happens will always be my fault.
"Nothing bad is ever going to happen to you now." I whisper "I promise."
I'm referring to death, but Nessa doesn't seem to understand that and instead takes great offence to what I've said.
"This isn't bad to you?" She trembles.
"Nessa that's not what I meant." I ramble hurriedly.
"Stop talking." Nessa snaps feebly. "Please just stop."
With that, we fall back into tearful silence, only punctuated by my sisters shaky breath.
My brain cannot begin to comprehend how quickly she began to deteriorate.
"Is boc okay?" Nessa croaks.
I hesitate before answering, incase Nessa really just wants silence and was merely voicing a thought.
"He's much better Ness, yeah, Boc is completely fine now." I reply after a contemplative silence,
A peaceful smile spreads across my sisters face.
"Good." She whispers happily.

It would probably be disheartening to me that my sister has only smiled at the mention of Boc but nevertheless she's still smiling and that's what matters most to me.
"Do you need anything Nessa?" I whisper gently, as I lean protectively closer.
My sister shakes her head slowly before stopping mid shake.
"Rebecca." She mumbles.
"Rebecca?" I question, unsure if I've heard her correctly. "Franklin's assistant?"
Nessas breathing suddenly becomes very staggered and she clenches her fists around mine tightly.
"Nessa?" I question.
She gasps loudly.
"Rebecca." She repeats, "go and bring me Rebecca."

Unusually she seems very sure that Rebecca is who she wants, confusing, as I was convinced she didn't like her very much.
"Please Elphie." My sister begs with wide, childlike eyes, that pierce through me like a knife.
"I'll go and get someone to sit with you whilst I find her."
"Elphaba I don't need to be babysat." Nessa cries with a sudden burst of energy, "please, whilst I have the energy to speak to someone, go and fetch me Rebecca."
I nod my head quickly, noticing the desperation in my sisters voice.
"Okay nessa, I'll go get her."